Lies Male Virgins / Inexperienced Guys are told

[Targetlock]

I don't have any shame about that. It happens. I have shame about the fact that I've never actually kissed a girl. Or held hands with one. Almost held hands once but she pulled away quickly.

 

same here, it sucks feels like I'm missing out on a large part of my life with my lack of any real relationship experience.

[Smilecharmer]

I don't have any shame about that. It happens. I have shame about the fact that I've never actually kissed a girl. Or held hands with one. Almost held hands once but she pulled away quickly.

 

Why do you feel shame? Shame should be reserved for crimes. Any woman who would shame you over something like this seems cruel and weird.

[Els]

I agree with that. I probably didn't do a very good job of conveying that point.

 

I guess what I meant was given the choice, it's easier to reform a "man-whore" than an inexperienced man.

 

Personally, if I REALLY had to choose one or the other, I'd take the inexperienced man over the man-whore, any day. But in actual fact my preference would be for a man with 1 or 2 LTRs. Then again, I am slightly older than you... when I was younger I did in fact date a completely inexperienced man.

[fortyninethousand322]

Personally, if I REALLY had to choose one or the other, I'd take the inexperienced man over the man-whore, any day. But in actual fact my preference would be for a man with 1 or 2 LTRs. Then again, I am slightly older than you... when I was younger I did in fact date a completely inexperienced man.

 

You're probably an outlier then.

 

But I'll tell you, given the things I hear in person and read online, I'd say 75% of women over the age of 21 or so feel differently.

 

Most women assume that real men have gotten some experience by a certain point in life. And I think they're largely correct in that assumption.

[Els]

You're probably an outlier then.

 

But I'll tell you, given the things I hear in person and read online, I'd say 75% of women over the age of 21 or so feel differently.

 

Most women assume that real men have gotten some experience by a certain point in life. And I think they're largely correct in that assumption.

 

25% is really not bad odds at all. Heck I haven't even had 25% of all men ask me out...

[fortyninethousand322]

25% is really not bad odds at all. Heck I haven't even had 25% of all men ask me out...

 

Assuming all 25% are single and interested in me (they could be disinterested for any number of legitimate reasons having nothing to do with inexperience). I don't make that assumption though. I also think it's probable that the number is higher than 75% anyway.

 

We live in a hyper-sexual world. Especially those of us in Generation Y. The people who missed the boat have really screwed up. Rose colored glasses aren't going to change that. Though I admire and appreciate your attempt.

[Els]

 

We live in a hyper-sexual world. Especially those of us in Generation Y. The people who missed the boat have really screwed up. Rose colored glasses aren't going to change that. Though I admire and appreciate your attempt.

 

If it really bugs you so much, you could try to move to a different place. Not everywhere in the world is hyper-sexual. Back where I grew up, a virgin guy was a good and fine thing, the kind of boy you'd bring home to see your parents and marry later on.

 

But obviously those places have their own downsides.

[fortyninethousand322]

If it really bugs you so much, you could try to move to a different place. Not everywhere in the world is hyper-sexual. Back where I grew up, a virgin guy was a good and fine thing, the kind of boy you'd bring home to see your parents and marry later on.

 

But obviously those places have their own downsides.

 

Maybe that place exists, and if someone reading this wants to move to such a place, have at it.

 

I'm just trying to make sure people don't get any false hopes. Reality is a cruel mistress.

[ThaWholigan]

Maybe that place exists, and if someone reading this wants to move to such a place, have at it.

 

I'm just trying to make sure people don't get any false hopes. Reality is a cruel mistress.

Great, we can all be miserable cunts aswell

 

(Just teasing )

[Ryan R.]

This is the best post!

[dragon_fly_7]

You're probably an outlier then.

 

But I'll tell you, given the things I hear in person and read online, I'd say 75% of women over the age of 21 or so feel differently.

 

Most women assume that real men have gotten some experience by a certain point in life. And I think they're largely correct in that assumption.

I believe experience can be gained in a relationship. Also depends on what you would classify as experience.

 

Would it be a

1) man that slept around with 30+ random women, ONS, FWB, etc (few minutes of worthless garbage) and only been in 2 relationships... makes me puke that his number was mainly base on worthless few mins in the sack

 

2) A man that has only had 1 or 2 gfs but has spend time with them more than the manwhore with the randoms; one that never had to use casual sex nor feel like he needs to be a double-digited man to gain experience and is happy with himself

 

Unlike 1, 2 does it in a meaningful relationship and didn't need to sleep around with more than 10 women to gain experience or feel like the ''one''.

 

Technically both are experienced but we're looking for a quality man, not quantity. Given those two options, I believe many women would want man 2. This is what they might be referring as experience and his overall view on sexual values.

 

Still, don't mind if he was completely inexperienced. It's never to old to get into a relationship.

Edited June 25, 2014 by dragon_fly_7

[dragon_fly_7]

ya but too old to get into a young youthful puppy love relationship, i think thats over when you are over 30

I've never heard of a specific age requirement to get into a relationship. People of all ages even get married. I've seen on videos about weddings of young and older couples.

 

Maybe not the puppy love youthful type, which is even too naive (more than likely they don't even know what they want and confuse love for infatuation) but an adult relationship is even better.

Edited June 25, 2014 by dragon_fly_7

[fortyninethousand322]

I believe experience can be gained in a relationship. Also depends on what you would classify as experience.

 

Would it be a

1) man that slept around with 30+ random women, ONS, FWB, etc (few minutes of worthless garbage) and only been in 2 relationships... makes me puke that his number was mainly base on worthless few mins in the sack

 

2) A man that has only had 1 or 2 gfs but has spend time with them more than the manwhore with the randoms; one that never had to use casual sex nor feel like he needs to be a double-digited man to gain experience and is happy with himself

 

Unlike 1, 2 does it in a meaningful relationship and didn't need to sleep around with more than 10 women to gain experience or feel like the ''one''.

 

Technically both are experienced but we're looking for a quality man, not quantity. Given those two options, I believe many women would want man 2. This is what they might be referring as experience and his overall view on sexual values.

 

Still, don't mind if he was completely inexperienced. It's never to old to get into a relationship.

 

Probably most women would want the second kind of man. So we agree there.

 

But, both types of experience are valuable. Yes, some women may be turned off by a guy who had a lot of casual sex, but most would be neutral about it. There are a great number of women who are actively turned off by a guy who is completely inexperienced.

 

I understand exceptions to this, but this isn't something I've made up in my head. I've heard about it, seen it, and you can look for yourself on any dating site.

[Targetlock]

With me I believe in quality over quantity, I would much rather have one great relationship than a string of short empty affairs and one night stands, but that is just my style I guess as i've none of either so far but nothing lasts forever!

[snowflakepua]

Your comment is very nice but the fact of the matter is 99% of women feal a deep disgust and repulsion towards these kinds of guys. I totally understand the feeling of depression and shame, I used to feal the same way.

 

Essentially girls look at these guys the way guys look at girls that are grossly overweight. They may be friends with a girl that is 400 pounds but nearly all guys wouldn't want a grossly obese 400 pound woman as their girlfriend.

 

Why do you feel shame? Shame should be reserved for crimes. Any woman who would shame you over something like this seems cruel and weird.

Edited July 29, 2014 by snowflakepua

[snowflakepua]

Exactly. Great point. However I would say 95% instead of 75%

 

You're probably an outlier then.

 

But I'll tell you, given the things I hear in person and read online, I'd say 75% of women over the age of 21 or so feel differently.

 

Most women assume that real men have gotten some experience by a certain point in life. And I think they're largely correct in that assumption.

[snowflakepua]

Thanks Andy. I basically agree with you, but if you are asked point blank how many women you have slept with, like I was, you need to lie. Same if you are asked about details of past relationships. Lie, lie,lie. Lie that is unless you want the woman to immediately become disgusted and leave.

 

 

PUA posts always get a harsh reception, but the reality is that there's cold truth and logic behind his assertions and mostly emotional knee jerks behind many responses.

 

All generalisations break down eventually (this one included), that doesn't make them useless. Take the basic premises (be fitter, have a decent job, try new things) and do them in your own way, however fits your moral compass. There's exactly as much evil here as you decide you want to see. No more, no less.

 

Whilst I don't advocate lying, I'd suggest most male virgins at least try to avoid the topic of past experience until they have some.

[LuckyLady13]

There's just one thing: If it matters to her at all that a liar isn't the type of guy she wants to be with and she actually does have sex with you, she will know right away that you lied.

 

Guys, it's never a good idea to lie because she will know. It happened to me. Guy swore up and down he's really experienced and blah, blah, blah and it turned out he was so obviously a virgin and I dumped him HARD because he lied. He built himself up to be someone he wasn't.

 

If you really think that you can be a virgin and pretend you have experience when you actually are finally with a woman and she won't be able to tell, you are fooling yourself. That's like telling people you're a brain surgeon and thinking nobody will notice you have no idea what you're doing when you get yourself in the OR.

 

I understand that no guy wants to be sitting there admitting he's a virgin (there's such a stigma attached and yes, shame) but there's a very strong possibility when you are found out after your lie, you will be kicking yourself wishing with every fiber of your being wishing that you didn't lie.

 

Virgins are obvious the moment they get in bed with someone the first time just as much as it's obvious as someone who has a lot of experience.

 

There are a lot of women who are understanding of the fact that guys will shame other guys for being virgins to such a horrible point and let it go if it's the only lie he told and never say a word to him about it. Doesn't mean you fooled her! You didn't. She's just a nice person. Or likes or loves you enough to look past it.

 

If that guy was honest with me, I wouldn't have dumped him. But to be totally honest, I would have had some trepidation moving forward.

 

Women don't want guys with tons of experience and some women do have the patience to take some time with a virgin. Depends on where they are in their life at that moment. The lack of experience isn't your problem if you're an over 25 virgin. Something else is going on that's preventing women from wanting to be with you and you need to figure out what that is. You're a virgin because you're either turning them off somehow or you're not trying. One or the other.

[oldshirt]

Thanks Andy. I basically agree with you, but if you are asked point blank how many women you have slept with, like I was, you need to lie. Same if you are asked about details of past relationships. Lie, lie,lie. Lie that is unless you want the woman to immediately become disgusted and leave.

 

I agree with just about everything you've been saying since your opening post but this.

 

 

I don't agree with lying about your number count or trying to inflate it.

 

First off no-one has the right to ask you how many people you've been with and you are under no obligation to disclose if you are asked.

 

A perfectly valid response would be - "what I've done in bed before has no bearing on what the future holds for us." .......or some similar filler.

 

There is just just simply no reason anyone has any right to know what you have or have not done in bed.

 

There is no reason to lie because there is no reason to disclose your prior status in the first place.

 

If someone really pushes it, "that's none of your business." Is a perfectly valid response.

[oldshirt]

.......but I will give you partial credit for saying not to disclose if you are in fact an adult virgin (if you are in fact wanting to lose it).

 

I agree with those saying that it likely is a big strike against you if you disclose to the vast vast majority of women, even if they say it isn't.

 

My primary position is that no-one has the right to ask and no-one is entitled to know your prior sexual status in the first place.

[snowflakepua]

Whatever. I stand by my advice. Lie and lie some more. See your comment is running up against a wall called real life and reality, something we should all face. If you would have known ahead of time he was a virgin you would have dumped him. You wouldn't have understood you would have gotten disgusted and left. I know and have dated your type, so sweet in theoretical discussions, so eager to dump and reject these guys in real life.

 

 

That is why, it is best for virgin guys to get some experience banging sluts before they sleep with someone they really care about.

 

There's just one thing: If it matters to her at all that a liar isn't the type of guy she wants to be with and she actually does have sex with you, she will know right away that you lied.

 

Guys, it's never a good idea to lie because she will know. It happened to me. Guy swore up and down he's really experienced and blah, blah, blah and it turned out he was so obviously a virgin and I dumped him HARD because he lied. He built himself up to be someone he wasn't.

 

If you really think that you can be a virgin and pretend you have experience when you actually are finally with a woman and she won't be able to tell, you are fooling yourself. That's like telling people you're a brain surgeon and thinking nobody will notice you have no idea what you're doing when you get yourself in the OR.

 

I understand that no guy wants to be sitting there admitting he's a virgin (there's such a stigma attached and yes, shame) but there's a very strong possibility when you are found out after your lie, you will be kicking yourself wishing with every fiber of your being wishing that you didn't lie.

 

Virgins are obvious the moment they get in bed with someone the first time just as much as it's obvious as someone who has a lot of experience.

 

There are a lot of women who are understanding of the fact that guys will shame other guys for being virgins to such a horrible point and let it go if it's the only lie he told and never say a word to him about it. Doesn't mean you fooled her! You didn't. She's just a nice person. Or likes or loves you enough to look past it.

 

If that guy was honest with me, I wouldn't have dumped him. But to be totally honest, I would have had some trepidation moving forward.

 

Women don't want guys with tons of experience and some women do have the patience to take some time with a virgin. Depends on where they are in their life at that moment. The lack of experience isn't your problem if you're an over 25 virgin. Something else is going on that's preventing women from wanting to be with you and you need to figure out what that is. You're a virgin because you're either turning them off somehow or you're not trying. One or the other.

[Gloria25]

That is why, it is best for virgin guys to get some experience banging sluts before they sleep with someone they really care about.

 

Since when does being a man-ho or a ho equate skills and/or experience?

 

It was the third guy I was with - who I was with for like 6 years where I learned most of what I know...and, it was cuz I came into the bedroom with the right attitude (and I guess we were close).

 

You don't have to look up a skank to learn what you need to know. Sex is better when you're with someone you trust. You look up books, watch porn/videos and try stuff.

 

I had a gf of a gf who all she wanted was sex, sex, sex, and was driving her guy crazy cuz she wanted it so much, so bad. Would you believe that even though she was in her 30s and so "I want sex", she never gave a BJ before. So, you can imagine what's going on in that bedroom (boring sex...)

 

So, again, notches on your belt or bedroom post do not equate skills and/or experience.

[snowflakepua]

Your point of view is so typical. Gentleman read this, if you had any doubts as to why you need to LIE and DECEIVE women if you are inexperienced. Sleep with sluts to get experience. Another thing, better to have sex and get dumped than not have sex and get dumped.

 

As she says below she and other women consider there is something wrong with you if you are an adult male virgin. So should you reveal this to them? NO. Not only no but HELL NO.

 

If LuckyLady13 was really so OK with the fact he was a virgin she wouldn't have dumped him but she like 98% of women are not OK with this. I for one am HAPPY he lied and deceived her. Her statement that "some women" are OK with this is correct, some are, but perhaps 1 or 2 percent.

 

As I have said before most women are politically correct and also hypocrites when it comes to this subject. Women tell each other it is OK to lie to men about their sexual histories but for a man to do this to them is unacceptable.

 

Women say how they are OK with men being inexperienced which is a bald faced lie told because women are afraid of saying the politically incorrect truth which is that women love the smooth guy who has slept with countless women.

 

 

 

There's just one thing: If it matters to her at all that a liar isn't the type of guy she wants to be with and she actually does have sex with you, she will know right away that you lied.

 

Guys, it's never a good idea to lie because she will know. It happened to me. Guy swore up and down he's really experienced and blah, blah, blah and it turned out he was so obviously a virgin and I dumped him HARD because he lied. He built himself up to be someone he wasn't.

 

...

 

Women don't want guys with tons of experience and some women do have the patience to take some time with a virgin. Depends on where they are in their life at that moment. The lack of experience isn't your problem if you're an over 25 virgin. Something else is going on that's preventing women from wanting to be with you and you need to figure out what that is. You're a virgin because you're either turning them off somehow or you're not trying. One or the other.

[Phoe]

I actually would prefer a virgin. My experiences have always been better with virgins or men with little experience.

 

I know a guy who's a virgin. He's awesome. But I know he'd never consider me. His standards are high.

[Priv]

I know a guy who's a virgin. He's awesome. But I know he'd never consider me. His standards are high.

 

Or your self esteem too low. That's nonsense Phoe.