To get them back: No contact vs Some contact

[spicelover]

OK today I start living for me again, again. That's it. If someone doesn't appreciate you for who you are then they're not worth your time or heart.

 

Sucks how humans fall in love.

 

OK, one step forward at a time.

[David87]

I hope you'll keep your promise.

[spicelover]

Me too. I am writing a list of things thatshe would do that used to hurt me (stuff like openly flirting with other men in front of me - stuff like that she said she only did because she felt insecure and not good enough for me), but yeah lots of stupid stuff that I'm better off without.

 

Thanks guys. I'll stop clutching at straws.

[Brutus]

I like your spirit. It's where I am slowly getting too. Be aware there will be ups and downs, as the healing process is not linear. But it gets better, little by little. It has been 1.5 months since she left me, and I am not as devastated as I was in the beginning. The huge black hole is still there, but you will slowly be able not to look at it too often.

[barky2]

I got mine back, after awhile.

 

Then we fell back into the fighting, ect.

 

I left.

 

Now I'm happily moved on.

 

That's the thing, I wanted to be back together for so long, I prayed cried you name it.

 

Then when I finally got it, I was so happy.

 

Until it turned back into the old relationship, and remembered why it wouldn't work.

 

Sure I could still be with her to this day, but I'm sure I'd be miserable.

 

Another story

 

 

Girl leaves boy, boy is devastated.

 

Girl starts with new guy immediately.

 

Boy is moping, contemplates suicide.

 

I get him out of his funk.

 

He joins frat, starts having the time of his life.

 

Girl sees boy moving on, starts to realize she made a mistake.

 

Girl reaches out.

 

Boy and girl have been back together for over a year now.

 

Two close friends of mine.

 

It does happen, all the time.

 

When it's right, it's right.

 

But it also takes more than love to make a relationship work.

 

I also feel, once you've crossed the line of disrespect so many times towards your ex or current spouse, you will always continue to cross that line.

 

Just my pennies

 

 

 

 

Barky

[anemptycup]

NO NO NO to the bold part.

 

1st- You're the dumper. Rules are much different . You made the move to dump her and it was your responsibility to reach out. Risk there is she didnt want it anymore. Mistake realized. She didnt want it back and you left her alone WHICH IS WHAT YOU ARE TO DO. NC wasnt the mistake. You breaking up with her was. Should have thought about it before you did it.

 

2. Its a two party system. If you want your ex back, HE/SHE WANTS TO HAVE YOU BACK TOO!!!! Again, if they dump you, then its done. If they dont want to be with you, then why keep pressuring them like you said? All you do by talking to them is making yourself look weak and only pushing them away MORE. OP realizes this I think.

 

The goal of NC isn't to try and persuade someone to realize their mistakes

 

 

sometimes people want to see how much you are willing to work and "fight" for them... i got that sense with my EX, even if i never really engaged in that sort of thing...

 

i dunno - what you say makes a lot of sense - after my 2 weeks of NC, i broke - and she then told me she had moved on and was "good" and that she had been seeing someone / slept with him - a few days later we saw each other and i begged/cried - it was terrible... the next day we talked via email - everything polite and friendly - a week later i wrote her my "closure" email.. she replied quickly, friendly again - and then i went into NC - made it 7 weeks and contacted her for her Birthday - and she was very different to how she was 7 weeks before... she seemed a lot more sad and down - maybe because it was her birthday (turned 30) it seemed like she really wanted to talk - she asked me how i am, i kept responding with brief encouraging replies to try to end it - and she'd keep the convo going with questions - told her i was heading to Thailand - she asked - for how long? finally i tried to end it and she sent me this:

 

 

Awesome! Well I would love for us to continue touching bases every now and again since it's still hard for me, which I'm sure it is for you too. So don't worry when I say that...I'm not expecting we chat everyday

But as always, I'm here for you if you need an ear or anything else even if u r in Thailand or anywhere else in the world.

Follow your heart and your dreams to reach your soul's calling everyday.

Take care khoshdeep!

 

 

it was a surprise for me to hear it was hard for her - since she had told me she had moved on and was happy... but it was also a relief knowing i wasn't alone suffering...

 

since then, i've been NC again - seeing a therapist regularly... meditating every day... trying to stay active - eating healthy and trying to get my Taxes done so i can go traveling.

 

 

life doesn't seem real - i feel like every day morning to night is like a dream...

 

I'm just torn between healing myself and moving on and the thought that "i'm suppose to go after her, and that's what she wants in order to salvage our relationship"

 

it all sucks. I guess if she wanted me back - she'd make it happen someway... prior to our final break-up we had broken up a month before and she came back - she emailed over xmas saying she had gifts for my mom and I that she was going to drop by the house... and she worked her way back into contact and we made up...

 

this time round - i think she's TRYING to end this - even if deep down she doesn't want to - she's letting her Logic take over...

[pickflicker]

sometimes people want to see how much you are willing to work and "fight" for them...

 

Those people are psychos. You work and fight for a relationship when you're in a relationship. Once it's over, you walk away.

[lauri]

I really, really, really do hope things work out for you. But, in all honesty, how can you reverse someones feelings that have been embedded in their brain? NC makes them wonder if they made a mistake, but most times we don't even fully realize our mistakes that caused the relationship to end.

 

So as soon as we start talking to our ex again, he/she will realize why they left you because chances are you aren't anyone different.If you reconcile after 1-2 years, chances are you have changed as a person and you will most likely start "all over again".

 

Thats just my thoughts...but personally, I think once it is over you have to have the mentality it is over forever. Who would want to live their life trying to get the attention of / appease someone who doesn't want you and thinks you aren't good enough for them?? I'd rather focus that time on people who will appreciate me and never hurt me.

[forever_lost]

I was dumped nearly five months ago and am admittedly not over my ex. I don't think my ex is over me either, but that's neither here nor there. This being my first relationship, I spent the first two months begging and trying to appeal through reason. I've spent the past 2.5 in various stages of NC, which included breaking it and responding to some texts she sent. I asked her not to to contact me unless it was something meaningful the last time, and have been in NC for over a month, though sometimes I've peeked and stalked.

 

Here's why I (me) do NC, and what I've realized I (me) need and want to do:

* She was my best friend in addition to my partner, and I want to have that back in my life at the very least. Yes, my goal is to be okay with being only friends with her, because I value that a lot. It might take ages to be at that level, but removing her from my life and completely moving on is a mistake IMHO.

* While at the moment I would welcome another shot at a successful relationship, I have reached a point through NC (albeit broken) where I have stopped having expectations. If it happens, it happens, and I think it would be great. If it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be, and I will eventually find solace and happiness elsewhere.

* This has been a transformative learning process, and it appropriately is so. Through breaking up, I have learned many things about myself that I need to fix and realized many things that I want which weren't satisfied by the relationship. While I also want this lonely and betrayed feeling to be eradicated ASAP, I would rather I go through the steps patiently than be over them more quickly and have to go through it again the next time. People on this site stress NC as a way to move on quickly, and I sometimes find faults with that argument.

* I've made mistakes. We all do. You can't beat yourself over them, because it will consume your life. People grow through mistakes, and it's better to make them now than later.

* I know it's hard. REALLY hard. I feel I still am partially consumed by the memories of my ex and the passion I had for that relationship. It was my entire investment that 2.5 years. But I now know that was a mistake. I realized that though I thought I was doing the right things, I really was blind to the things that really needed to be addressed. The only way I came to this realization was when I eliminated the end goal of winning her back, and concentrated instead on becoming the type of person that I (me) would want to be with. That is the fuel that runs through my veins these days, and I believe that in due course I will be pretty much irresistible to any fine lady, including her ( jk, but no really). But the whole idea, if you are set on it, is to WIN her affection back, not get her back as if she were an object in your possession at one point.

 

If I had to do it all again, I would change many, many things. But the lessons I have gotten through this relatively short process have been invaluable. Sure, I still get pangs of regret and break down mentally, and sometimes even actually reach out. But the entire process is not about healing; it is about growing. Even if you actually do want to win your partner back, this is the only way to approach. IMHO, that is why most people who get back together just break up again. If you don't forgive, forget, and grow, you're just continuing your old broken relationship again. Any future relationship with your old partner must be a completely fresh one built upon stronger foundations. It's up to you to take the necessary steps to do that, not for that particular relationship (remember: no expectations), but for you and any relationship in the future.

 

So, point is, especially the tl;dr people, it's okay to want her back. It's natural to. But for your sake, her sake, and all the girls you date in the futures' sakes, believe in NC as an instrument to let things go the way they're meant to go - an instrument of fate, even. Manipulation never serves anyone well in the long run, Machiavelli.

[spicelover]

So as soon as we start talking to our ex again, he/she will realize why they left you because chances are you aren't anyone different.If you reconcile after 1-2 years, chances are you have changed as a person and you will most likely start "all over again".

 

You make a lot of sense lauri.. the problem with the ending of my relationship wasn't so much that we didn't get along. We actually got along amazingly. The problem was mainly her issues that I had a past (ex-wife and kids). She couldn't handle that I was paying child support and extra to my ex-wife (we had an agreement and I'm not one to go back on things I promise). She just hated that side of my life. Otherwise, we were so in love. The only fights were mainly about that stuff.

 

Having said that.... there are things about her I used to accept, but now the more I push myself to think about them the more disappointed I am in myself. I let her control a lot of things. She was very much a control freak. And because she couldn't control that part of my life she HATED it. Not a nice quality.

[organizedchaos]

You make a lot of sense lauri.. the problem with the ending of my relationship wasn't so much that we didn't get along. We actually got along amazingly. The problem was mainly her issues that I had a past (ex-wife and kids). She couldn't handle that I was paying child support and extra to my ex-wife (we had an agreement and I'm not one to go back on things I promise). She just hated that side of my life. Otherwise, we were so in love. The only fights were mainly about that stuff.

 

Having said that.... there are things about her I used to accept, but now the more I push myself to think about them the more disappointed I am in myself. I let her control a lot of things. She was very much a control freak. And because she couldn't control that part of my life she HATED it. Not a nice quality.

 

Yep, nearly same issues my ex had. Child support, not wanting to be a step mom after nearly 3 years of being together. She hated that part of my life too. Otherwise, amazing relationship. Really sucks.

[spicelover]

@forever_lost I feel your pain. I really do. I know exactly what you're talking about and it's a killer. Some days my heart feels like a 1000 elephants have trampled on it, and pushed it deep down into my stomach. My ex was definitely the best friend I'd ever had. I was closer to her after a year than I think I was to my ex-wife to whom I was married for 10 years.

 

I think it's the way you look at it that helps. I don't plan on NC. When I say that, I mean I won't be initiating any contact with her. BUT, if she writes to me I'm going to reply in a friendly manner, and keep moving along - just like I would if an old friend texted me. I think if you can do that then you can always hold you head high and never feel like you were being petty or sour.

 

However, if you can't look at it like that then I think no contact is a great thing for empowering yourself and healing. If someone doesn't want to be with you, no matter how amazing they were in the past, then there's nothing you can do to change their mind. Just like they can't change your mind from wanting them.

 

She texted me again this morning. Just to ask a random question about mail redirects... there was no need, because we'd previously discussed that stuff. I replied with a joke and smiley face. She wrote a terribly blunt reply to that, so I just left it and head held high. I think she likes to keep a connection, but instead of worrying about that I'm just moving on. I can't look back until the day I hear "I love you, and I would like to try again"... then I will open my heart up and see where I am at that time - IF it ever comes.

 

My heart is aching, but I'm cutting that feeling off from my head and using my brain now. I'll let my heart ache down there and give it some chicken soup later. Now is about living.

[hoping2heal]

I do personally know one couple who split after several years together and pursued eachother (never at the same time - one was always in a relationship with someone else yada yada) for a period of a few years and then one day, for whatever reason they both ended up in the same place. Now they're married, by all accounts happy, and just had their first child.

 

Reconciling after a break up does happen just as sometimes it does not.

 

I am not going to sit here and tell you that such a thing is impossible and can never happen, or never be any good if it does happen. There are always exceptions.

 

But, (yeah that) I have always felt like I missed someone more being in their lives and knowing I couldn't have them. So, I had to pause at what you said about being out of sight and mind makes it easier for them to heal, too and forget about you. I think if someone truly wants to be with someone they will be (now there are special circumstances like "hey, I love you but I'm married and I have kids" or "Hey, I love you but I'm not going to be cured of this _____) but yearning for someone you love feels terrible. Really, really awful and I think it hurts worse when that person is right in front of you. So, if an ex does love and want to be with their partner I think they will be "I made a mistake and I was wrong" yeah, that happens. No one likes to feel pain.

 

The other thing is, I think people do a lot of hurtful and self-serving things in love and out of it, and do not consider themselves as "the bad guy" because they don't even realize how hurtful or selfish they are being or they find a way to rationalize it.

 

You can still care about a person or like the way they make you feel about yourself, but not have a sincere desire to be in a relationship with them. It feels good to be wanted and desired, even if you have no intention of returning it.

 

From what you have detailed, every time you put yourself out to the girl her instant response is to retreat. I think that says it all, but if you're still unconvinced I guess time well tell. Based on your opening line something tells me you're not exactly ready to accept it being over, and that's okay for now. I'm sorry for the loss you're going through, it's tough stuff.

[spicelover]

I have always liked this quote from House:

 

"'Time changes everything' - that's what people say. It's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leave things exactly as they were."

 

Something like that anyway.

 

Now, you can take that how you will, but I believe it absolutely. If you want them, go get 'em tiger. It may or may not work out. It may or may not be healthy for you (probably not). The other way you look at it would be to move on and doing something for yourself.

 

BUT, sitting around moping waiting to heal won't change a thing.

 

I guess all you can do in life it live it, and do the best you can to be happy. If good things come then that's a bonus. Could be that the one you long for returns to your arms, or could be that you find another who you love even more. It happened to me before, I'm sure it will again. Hey, you might even love yourself and just enjoy your own company for a while. That last one I know I struggle with at times. I do enjoy sharing my life, but gotta stay positive and moving forward.

[hoping2heal]

I have always liked this quote from House:

 

"'Time changes everything' - that's what people say. It's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leave things exactly as they were."

 

Something like that anyway.

 

Now, you can take that how you will, but I believe it absolutely. If you want them, go get 'em tiger. It may or may not work out. It may or may not be healthy for you (probably not). The other way you look at it would be to move on and doing something for yourself.

 

BUT, sitting around moping waiting to heal won't change a thing.

 

I guess all you can do in life it live it, and do the best you can to be happy. If good things come then that's a bonus. Could be that the one you long for returns to your arms, or could be that you find another who you love even more. It happened to me before, I'm sure it will again. Hey, you might even love yourself and just enjoy your own company for a while. That last one I know I struggle with at times. I do enjoy sharing my life, but gotta stay positive and moving forward.

 

What a neat quote! I think I do agree with it

 

People advocate NC because they don't want a person being further hurt, but sometimes that is just the lesson a person needs so that they CAN move forward. Then again, maybe I am just stubborn and like doing things the hard way.

 

The last time I went through a break up was almost 6 years ago, and I was all immediate NC (before calling it NC was cool :laugh:) total cut off of contact bah bah. It was so.freaking.hard and then this little birdy I'll call my mother, put this idea into my ear that maybe I need to reach out because he thinks my ignore mode means I don't forgive him and won't give him another chance. It's exactly what I wanted to think; so when another person said it well I did it. Played the "cool friend" route.

 

Oh god, the pain I went through that way. Let's see..in that time he contacted me to tell me how depressed he was post breakup and that he had not been seeing anyone else, brought up "our song", even casually slipped in how he'd always love me once. It all sounded so promising right? Except, other than the super confusing crumbs I was getting which lead me to overanalyze to kingdom come there was nothing more. I'll always love you..great, you want to get back with me? Never heard that one. Finally, after about a month of these will we/ won't we antics I'd reached my point of patience. I just told him how I felt and that I wanted him back and if he wanted me back too he needed to speak now or forever hold his peace because I couldn't do "this" any longer.

 

So, time went by and mother effer didn't acknowledge what I said one way or the other. After a few weeks I was finally ready to cut the strings for good. I knew there was no confusion between the two of us, he know how I felt and he didn't return the feeling and sure it stung but it also helped me to move the heck along more quickly too. I started to realize why the heck would I want some guy who is SO careless and insensitive to my feelings he would actually throw crumbs out at me and then not acknowledge me pouring my heart out? "Aint nobody got time fo' dat" and then you know the further out I got, the more I realised this was not the kind of guy I could marry or be in it for the long haul. He was too critical, impatient, and just no he wasn't right.

 

So, I got over it and later on down the line met someone else. Wonder-ex did try to get in contact with me a few times but this time I wasn't having it. That's just how the journey goes sometimes. We're all so different, maybe some of us can't do with "the flame burns don't touch it" maybe some of us have to be like "well, maybe it's a super unique special flame and if WE touch it, it won't hurt that bad...OWW ow wo ow owwwwwa okay fine..damn thing burns"

 

It's okay to do a little moping though before starting the whole "gee my heart has been ripped out and my life feels ****ty but I'm having a great time" routine.

 

But, you will heal no matter what the outcome.

[anemptycup]

when I eliminated the end goal of winning her back, and concentrated instead on becoming the type of person that I (me) would want to be with.

 

yes - that's so true.

 

I wonder - some people on here saying re-conciliation is possible - of course it is - i just wonder... if you break-up several times... and get back.. and then it gets to the point where it's the last chance.. and you brake up again...

 

is there ever hope for reconciliation? thing is.. when we were together - we had many things in our life (money, house, family issues bring us each down in many ways - and it affected us a lot) i don't think she sees it that way at all - she just thinks i didn't want her with all of my heart and i have commitment issues and insecurities...

 

truth is - on our previous break-ups we were never apart for more than a month - and we never had NC for more than a day! this is the first time we've been apart this long (3 months) and NC... through this - i have learned so much - i am seeing a therapist constantly - i've learned a lot about her as well... we're both pretty messed up.. but... i just wonder... if there's ever a chance...

 

anyway - back to life!

[Thomas the Red Fox]

 

"'Time changes everything' - that's what people say. It's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leave things exactly as they were."

 

If you want them, go get 'em tiger.

 

 

This logic should NEVER be applied in this context.

 

And going nc IS "doing things". Begging and trying to magically convince your ex that they made a mistake is ALSO "doing things", but it certainly isn't going to be doing what you want in this context.

 

That quote was meant for people in a static situation who wish something changed. Not an emotionally distraught newly single person.

[organizedchaos]

I prefer the Buddhist way:

 

Sometimes doing nothing, is doing something.

[spicelover]

Ok... so... I'm trying to keep to myself and go along my merry way. The only contact I need to have is about progress on the financial settlement stuff we need to do.

 

So today I put an update email together for her with all of the information she needed to know and dates etc... said I'll update again when I have more information.

 

An hour passes and she rocks up to my work??? WTF? She walks in like nothing has even happened said hello to everyone and asks me for a coffee. Tells me all about what she's been up to, and asked me about what I've been up to.

 

Very strange. She even seems a bit upset when we had to get back to work. I'm so confused. Cake and eating it??

[spicelover]

Yep.. so now that's set me back.

 

I want so badly to contact her. I could see it in her she had something she wanted to say but couldn't... maybe I'm over-thinking. I was very light-hearted and joked around a lot, and very laid back... I think I came across pretty damn happy with myself and my life. I don't know.

 

I'm in 2 minds right now. Just to tell her to please stop contacting me properly unless it's about the property stuff, OR something like a "was nice to see you" message. $%&^&*

[hoping2heal]

Yep.. so now that's set me back.

 

I want so badly to contact her. I could see it in her she had something she wanted to say but couldn't... maybe I'm over-thinking. I was very light-hearted and joked around a lot, and very laid back... I think I came across pretty damn happy with myself and my life. I don't know.

 

I'm in 2 minds right now. Just to tell her to please stop contacting me properly unless it's about the property stuff, OR something like a "was nice to see you" message. $%&^&*

 

I think the fact that she can stroll up into your work and be casual is just another, of the many indications that she's not interested in getting back together with you. That doesn't mean she doesn't care about you - but you can care for someone and not want to date them or not care about them in that way, hence also not wanting to date them. You have put yourself out there she knows how you feel and I bet anything she's fully aware that she just says the word and you will take her back.

 

Yet, she doesn't do that.

 

You keep thinking there's something she wants to tell you, some way she really feels about you, etc. etc. There is no risk to her that her affections wouldn't be returned but she isn't trying to get back with you.

 

Why is that?

[Kitchen]

Warning: this is not a thread about moving on... so please only contribute if you have something constructive to say other that "it's over just move on"

 

So, I've been doing some soul searching and thinking. I know what NC is supposed to be, which is to help you move on - not a childish tactic to get them to somehow miss you and want you back. But what if you aren't ready to let them go? What if you know they have issues, and you need time apart, but aren't going to give up on them?

 

So NC sure, maybe your absence will help them miss you. But it also gives them time to heal and move on (just as it would yourself). You know, out of sight out of mind.

 

A quick background. My ex left me. Days before we were talking marriage, and children, and she'd apparently never been happier. We had a bit fight and it was over. A lot came out. A lot that should have been spoken about instead of bottling it up - that was 5 weeks ago.

 

I started on NC and it really started to help me breath and move on with my life a bit. Then I'd get the random text telling me stuff like "I hope you're having a great weekend :)", or "I found this great place for breakfast you should try it! :)", and then late night ones like "You know it's ok if you are with someone else right now it's your life", followed by "But don't listen to other people's advice do what's in your heart". If I ever, ever replied I would never get anything back, or it would be cold. Very disheartening.

 

So I stopped expecting. I didn't expect a thing from her. I understand she's going through her own problems and needs time to do this. But there are obvious signs she's still thinking about me, and missing me. So instead of trying to get her back I'm just living my life, but here for her (for now anyway). I just kept moving along, and found she's been watching everything I'm doing through friends' check-ins on Facebook (I unfriended as I didn't want to know about her).

 

Something is there. Possibly she's just coping with it her way and trying to keep her distance while she works through things in her own mind, and just throws out the occasional text to keep in contact. But I honestly don't believe she's a devil-woman just stringing me along to keep me as some kind of backup plan.

 

On the weekend something really extraordinary happened in my life. Long story I saved an entire family (of 8 people - 3 were children), seeing a fire and kicking their door down and putting a fire out with a garden hose while they were sleeping. They woke up and were hysterical and were calling me their guardian angel blah blah..

 

I didn't think much of it until the next day when they all came to my house thanking me and were very emotional truly thinking they would be dead if I weren't there at that exact time. Anyone would do it. I was on a bit of a high yesterday until they left, and then it really hit me so hard. When I closed the door I broke down into a million pieces.

 

I realised that I should be proud and happy, but instead all I wanted was to share my story with her. She wasn't there anymore. So I wrote to her a random little text "I have so many stories to share with you... miss you dearly x"... no reply (I knew she wouldn't), then later a "Just tell me to 'stop' and I will. But if you feel anything like I do, don't say anything.. night x". As soon as I hit the send button I realised I'm such a fool. I never got anything back. But if I ask about anything else she'll write straight back. As soon as it's personal she goes cold. So I don't know if her lack of reply was a nod back to say it's ok, or just her thinking she's not buying into my stupid game to reply haha.. anyway, it was a bit stupid.

 

No two people are the same. Most people handle things very differently.

 

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is... if you love someone you should do what you feel is best. If you can think with some kind of rationality, then unless you really want to just move on... no contact is not going to work. NC really is just to move on and I think absolutely should be used. But if you love someone, and you think they still love you - you should go for it.

 

I believe my ex still loves me. I know we need time apart right now, but the lover in me can't help but want to be there for her. Because yep - I love her. Ain't love grand ha

 

Anyone have stories where NC worked to get their ex back (I realise that's not what it's for)?

 

Anyone have stories where perseverance worked to get their ex back?

 

Spice

 

NC worked for me to gain the upper hand, which, for me is better than being with my ex. I don't want her back, but I am sure enjoying being wanted by her. Whether or not you want your ex back, and whether or not you think she still likes you, you must go NC.

 

Here's what I did:

 

I went NC. I forced myself to meet other girls, go out and party, etc. It all made me sick in the beginning, but after some time it helped pull me out of the hole. I talked to, went on dates with, or hooked up with quite a few girls, not all of them I really liked. But it really did help refocus my brain on something else.

 

But that's not all I did. Part of getting over someone is thinking of all the unattractive things about them, and magnifying them in your head. Then you think about all the things about you that are better than her, and magnify those. In this way, you a) manipulate yourself into thinking (or realizing) that she's no good for you, b) fall in love with yourself.

 

After about 2-4 months, you feel invincible almost. Here's where the fun part really begins. I think you are lucky, as I was too, in that she still has some sort of attachment, interest, or whatever towards you. I think this based on those texts she sent you about enjoying your weekend, etc. You can get to a point of milking it as much as you'd like, but don't ever show your cards first. Don't even show your cards until she goes above and beyond to try to win you back. Telling her how you have "so many stories to tell her" is a big no.

 

Anyway I can say more, just ask me. But don't worry dude, you'll be fine. It seems like she's interested somewhat, but the best response still is NC. Her interest should be used as fuel to help you get over her. You're lucky in that sense.

 

Feel free to read my old posts, I was in the same boat. Also, listen to everything Barky says.

[pickflicker]

I prefer the Buddhist way:

 

Sometimes doing nothing, is doing something.

 

"Tis better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool, than to open it, and remove all doubt."

 

Or something. I'm paraphrasing Lisa Simpson, who probably paraphrased someone else.

[spicelover]

Now tonight she texted me to say I look and sound great and to keep it up.

 

You're right but. Until I hear "I made a mistake I want you back" I'll just keep on keeping on

[David87]

Now tonight she texted me to say I look and sound great and to keep it up.

 

You're right but. Until I hear "I made a mistake I want you back" I'll just keep on keeping on

 

How about blocking her number?