Why do men want to be married?

[Grumpybutfun]

Ninja:

Marriage is work and commitment and with someone who is real and sincere, it is an incredible journey. Trust me it isn't too good to be true, but instead it is good because we did the work to make it good. I would never let you think that we just had this fantasyland marriage while we sat off to the side and were individuals who acted exactly like we did when we were single. Marriage is work...a lot of work. Why? Because you both are growing up.

 

It may not be for you and that is okay. I just know what my experience has been, and in my own life, my experience has been abnormal. I have seen the cheaters, the gamblers, drug addicts, alcoholics, abusers, liars, irresponsible partners, indifferent partners (was in the military for many years as an advisor to late teen and twenty year olds) but I also know that we (my wife and I) agreed early on that individual work on ourselves, commitment to honesty and transparency, was a must for us to get through the military without all the drama and the broken home. First spouse is an accomplishment and we plan on keeping each other.

After all, broken marriages isn't about the couple, but about the individual who decides to make the decision to cheat, lie, disrespect, demean, or control the other. That individual has something in them that is immature, selfish and/or broken.

 

Kindness is the only thing in marriage that I see very little of and that is because of cynicism due to relying on other people's relationships or past relationships to educate you on what your next relationship will probably look like. Being cynical about anything is like starting out in that realm with a raincloud over your head and your feet stuck in concrete. Doesn't really bode well for any kind of positive experience. I dated for a long time and if I had based my wife's character on some of the flaky, inconsiderate, shallow head cases who I had known, I would have never gotten married. However, I dated enough to know exactly what those women looked like and when mine came along and she was dead honest with me about everything, I knew she was marriage material. No games. No flake. No fluff. Solid woman, a human being who I respected, admired and wanted to be a better man for.

Not trying to sell the idea of marriage, just answering the question as to my experience. The things I described was what I wanted and that is what we worked towards. In anything you do, work is a component that cannot be ignored. To go into marriage without having a fair idea of who you are and what your values are is a disaster. To go into marriage with your foot already half out the door because you didn't sow your wild oats or you want to stay single is a catastrophe.

Marriage is not for everyone,

Grumps

[Grumpybutfun]

One more thing...if you want something better than what you observe or have had, stay away from labeling women or clumping them all in one category. Like I said, I dated a few women that had issues, but I would have never let their idiosyncrasies or their problems interfere with my next date or thankfully with how I viewed my wife. You may not think you do this, but you sound extremely bitter towards women. Bitterness and misogyny isn't really going to attract women to you who are solid and real. I sure as heck wouldn't want to be lumped into a pile with some men out there or some on this board including you (no disrespect here, just honesty.)

Otherwise, good conversation,

Grumps

Edited October 13, 2013 by Grumpybutfun

[Ninjainpajamas]

One more thing...if you want something better than what you observe or have had, stay away from labeling women or clumping them all in one category. Like I said, I dated a few women that had issues, but I would have never let their idiosyncrasies or their problems interfere with my next date or thankfully with how I viewed my wife. You may not think you do this, but you sound extremely bitter towards women. Bitterness and misogyny isn't really going to attract women to you who are solid and real. I sure as heck wouldn't want to be lumped into a pile with some men out there or some on this board including you (no disrespect here, just honesty.)

Otherwise, good conversation,

Grumps

 

I think I've already covered the bases on my points enough and writing anymore might be detrimental to the thread at this point...

 

However just to address this really quick, I've been here for a while and I realize the "generalizing" thing gets a lot of handicap frowned faces thrown in my direction, fully aware of that but for the sake of not having to address every single thing itemized and carefully explaining every detail in a "balanced" light or going through the trouble of saying "some", I leave it up to the people of LS to simply determine whether they associate with the generalization or not and move on.

 

I spend a good amount of time also defending women on very many levels and criticizing men for their obvious and manipulative tactics, but I also flip back to the perspective of males or *sigh* "some males" for the sake of discussion and because I do feel as a whole a lot of men are are taking the crap for every short-coming and being blame for every situation/circumstance at times...it's a lot easier to hate on men than women, it's more socially acceptable.

 

So no, I'm not extremely bitter towards women...just passionate about my opinions and really will push the limits of that in order to get a point across or rattle the cages...I understand as a whole what I'm doing, the perspective that people have of me (based on how what I'm saying will be interpreted) and how they make their judgments, and I'm perfectly ok with that at the end of the day although I'm hoping the substance of the conversation takes precedence over an emotional/personal opinion someone may have of me...even though I know that's always possible for some.

 

In the real world, I have good relationships with men and women....online world, I express a strong view, although I'm the same way in real life people have more of a chance to see me as a whole, I'm not here to build alliances or favoritism though I'm just going to be myself and express what I really feel and think.

[Silly_Girl]

Janesays is right.

 

I've seen so many points I felt urged to comment on or dispute but the OP is more dismissive of opposing views than any I recall reading here. Kudos to those like Grump who've spent time on thoughtful responses to someone who appears so narrow-minded. It's a shame because the concept of the thread, and the responses, is actually very interesting.

[KathyM]

Studies show that married people are generally happier, healthier, and live longer lives than people who are single. People like to be cared for and cared about. They like companionship. The dating scene gets pretty old after awhile. As far as why men want to be married, most men want the comfort and security of having a wife to care for them and care about them. They want someone to share their life with, not just some random people going in and out of their life. Having relationships start and fail, one after the other, is not an enjoyable thing for most people. Having a string of meaningless people in your life is also not a very satisfying thing to most people. Most men also want to have children, and would want a stable relationship to bring children into and to raise them in. There are many reasons why men want to be married, and studies show that men, in particular, live happier, healthier and longer lives if they are married.

[crederer]

Every single man I know that is married did it because their wife pressured them to do it.

 

I personally don't really believe in marriage. I don't see how it's any different than being in a committed relationship.

[Silly_Girl]

Every single man I know that is married did it because their wife pressured them to do it.

 

I personally don't really believe in marriage. I don't see how it's any different than being in a committed relationship.

 

I don't know any men now (although in a previous set of friends there were two) who were pressured. I have a girlfriend and a colleague, both female, whose husband/boyfriend is very clucky and is pressuring them to have a baby sooner than they'd like. Both in their 20s.

[dichotomy]

Life, Love, Marriage, Raising Kids....it makes more sense, brings more peace, when you find a way for it not to be about you.

[xxoo]

I'm asking the real underlying factors of why men get married, internally, emotionally...and why the would choose a life that is restricting and obligated to an ideal that must be fulfilled regardless of what one may desire or feel because of a "commitment" and oath.

 

Not "must". Divorce exists.

 

I know my husband wanted to be a husband, not just a boyfriend.

 

And he wanted me to be his wife, not just his girlfriend.

 

For what it's worth, he pushed marriage first. We were young, and I was the "reasonable' one who needed to come around to the idea.

[CrazyAlex]

I'm undecided about the marriage issue myself, but if marriages are so bad, how can you explain all the studies that show married men have better health and earn more than unmarried men? Anecdotal evidence is one thing, but scientific studies seem to indicate that marriage has clear benefits.

 

 

1. Increase Your Pay

A Virginia Commonwealth University study found that married men earn 22 percent more than their similarly experienced but single colleagues.

 

2. Speed Up Your Next Promotion

Married men receive higher performance ratings and faster promotions than bachelors, a 2005 study of U.S. Navy officers reported.

 

3. Keep You Out of Trouble

According to a recent U.S. Department of Justice report, male victims of violent crime are nearly four times more likely to be single than married.

 

4. Satisfy You in Bed

In 2006, British researchers reviewed the sexual habits of men in 38 countries and found that in every country, married men have more sex.

 

5. Help You Beat Cancer

In a Norwegian study, divorced and never-married male cancer patients had 11 and 16 percent higher mortality rates, respectively, than married men.

 

6. Help You Live Longer

A UCLA study found that people in generally excellent health were 88 percent more likely to die over the 8-year study period if they were single.

Read more: Benefits of Marriage: Men's Health

 

 

"Research finds that people who have never married were 58 percent more likely to die than married people."

 

http://www.abc3340.com/story/20108791/can-getting-married-increase-your-life-expectancy

[Nyla]

I'll be honest, I've always seen marriage in a pessimistic light...not just for men either, for women as well but this will be geared more towards men for obvious reasons.

 

In my eyes, when I have looked at married men throughout my life (I'm 33 now) It has always rang a similar bell in my mind as something akin to inmates in a state penitentiary or a broken in horse.

 

He's no longer free to roam the wild plains, kicking out his legs wild, going where he pleases. He doesn't have to answer to anyone and he's not criticized for doing this, that and the other thing just because he feels like it...instead he's disciplined and trained by his owner to respond to clicking noises and non-verbal queues, a swift kick in the rear to get him going and a pull on the reins to slow him down...he's no longer doing what he's born to do by his own free will and adventurous heart, he just goes back to his stable like the well-disciplined horse he is with his head hung down lightly bouncing as he heads to the same exact place he knows where he belongs now all on his own...to be fed at certain times and is expected to do what he is supposed to do determined by his trainer for the rest of his life..."perform" essentially, until he breaks a leg in which he is shot then replaced with a new fresh stallion...oh wait, that's men...sorry about that last one ladies!

 

And to disperse the cloud of "marriage is great for me yadda yadda" it's not all marriages...but it's definitely most of the ones I've seen! I don't see people become "happier" because of marriage, and they definitely seem to become more stressed and overwhelmed with the induction of children.

 

I often don't even see couples enjoying their children, they seem stressed, easily agitated, exhausted and bitter over the drain of emotional and personal sacrifice in which it takes to accommodate these helpless children who are entirely dependent on mom or dad at all times, where they either argue or draw straws of who's got to take little Timmy to the toilet. Always seems to be some power struggle of responsibility and one partner seems to one to tap out earlier than the other.

 

The men look stressed out, at work or at home but half of them seem to rather be at work or anywhere but home. They never seem to appear like they can actually relax, they always have some job or task to do, or some nagging voice in their back of their minds of what they've got to do before they get home or something the wife might have mentioned that god forbid they forget before showing up home empty handed. They always seem to physically appear like men who just ran a marathon no matter what they did that day and they mumble and grumble through their day with a short-fuse and some days seem like they could care less if they accidentally wandered into traffic.

 

Kids seem to take precedence over all other things and seem to be the focus of the couple, sex life seems to plummets off the charts in good time because many married guys will make comments about women that don't even look that great but seem hyper excited about as it is their one simple glimpse of happiness and sexual pleasure/fantasy...and they're going to treasure that and put it in a little box in the back their minds for later so that when they get the three minutes of alone time at home they'll rub one out to the image of that random girl he saw walking across the street who was "hot"...so romance seems to fall off completely, indifference seems to weigh in and complacency to all other relationship factors seem to fall off onto the way side and both individuals struggle to carry their own weight and responsibility, losing their independence.

 

Now you're probably thinking "oh you've only seen certain married couples, me and my husband are sooooo happy"....well for one ladies, men sing a completely different tune when you're not perched on branch watching over them like an eagle, when they actually speak freely and indiscriminately to a stranger such as myself and I can tell you from experience you might not have a clue how your husband truly feels, women seem to often sweep issues under the rug and somehow stamp an "A" approval on the front window because from their perspective, down-grading all the issues/problems because it's all fixable or a work-in-progress and they trust that he's happy without even communicating that other than a simple "mic-check"..."you happy honey?"..."yea sure".

 

I've worked for a number of years in peoples homes, which has given me a broad perspective of how the different kinds of people live, economically and culturally speaking.

 

Now I'm not claiming everyone was miserable and unhappy, but I can't tell you how many unhappy married couples and individuals I've encountered over the years that I've played therapist and shoulder-to-lean on while doing my work...sometimes there's nothing like telling a stranger all of your personal problems.

 

And I truly feel bad for people, I genuinely feel sorry for them that they have to live this life of unhappiness and discontent, because at the end of the day you know that both people are suffering from this lifestyle...and that for whatever reason they are stuck in the situation they are in and dealing with the circumstances together even if they're confronting them separately...I've already been advised by men the wiser who were experienced being married to not get married and I've struggled to see the "bright-side" of things always trying to convince myself that maybe they were just biased, being even objectively I cannot rationalize it, because I've encountered so much sadness and hardship from these people.

 

Not to get even get into divorce, I've seen people who looked just torn from the outside in, you could see it in their faces and eyes like if they just aged 30 years from all the emotional turmoil that must have taken it's toll on their hearts and souls just bearing the burden of that transition. They appeared visibly ravaged, I could only imagine how they must feel as I'm sure they tried their best to deflect their internal pain and keep it from the outside world but did not have the power to withstand it because they appeared just grind down to a point where they couldn't even care anymore...they were transparent even if they tried to hide it.

 

So at the end of the day, with that being said...if not happening now in your marriage but a possibility, or even if you are right now in this exact situation...what makes it worth it? and why do people continuously fight and force themselves to be with people when they are so unhappy because of a title and oath? like it's some honorable bond that one must make at the figurative round table amongst the knights and King Arthur, and it is better to burn in the lake of fire of your despair than it is to imagine leaving this "marriage".

 

Trust me, my word is my bond...I've always tried to live that way and always try to follow through even with the smallest thing that I say...but at some point you've got to take a look and realize if it's all really worth it...because today is reality, potential or hope is uncertain at best. I do believe people take marriage too easy come, easy go, but at the end of the day it seems like the right choice...rather than force yourself to endure something like that.

 

But the reason I've spent so much time on this post is because why is this still something people perceive as necessary in their lives? What do you hope to gain out of it? and did you get out of it what you wanted/expected? Did it make you happier? Did it add to your love life? did the sacrifice of your freedom and personal space seem a worthy trade-off for a life partner that provides a level of security?

 

At the end of the day, I feel like people don't really think of what they expect to gain or develop in a marriage...they just simply do it, because of some idealistic image in their minds or even cultural/social influence that is still perceived as something that is going to make you happier and somehow fix all your problems and give it to you...but does it really deliver? What am I missing here as an inexperienced man in terms of the marriage realm (with no kids but wanting them one day)? but not at all inexperienced in relationships or women.

 

Although this is geared towards men, keep in mind I'm not "blaming women", I'm asking men from a man's point of view...I've seen what seemed to be very good women as well, unhappy with their marriage to what seemed to be in large part of the man's inexcusable behavior but that's a whole other thread.

 

*looking for feedback from the long-term married/older crowd, not the honeymooners or just married young in your 20's*

 

You do realize that your post can apply to women as well right?

 

Women who are used to being independent lose their autonomy when they marry. They do the lion's share of the housework and childrearing. I hope you know that wives are often replaced with younger models all the time.

 

I never wanted to get married for a long time. I grew up seeing my mom work like a slave, while my father had his meals brought to him on a tray. I lost respect for my mother when she stayed with my father after his affair and kept serving him like an idiot. I did not want to be tied down with kids and constant housework.

 

I married a man who helps around the house, stays faithful and doesn't treat me like a slave. We have been together for six years and our marriage has been the best surprise of my life. We agree on not having babies, so that gives us a lot more time for each other and less stress. I had a mourning and adjustment period while we were engaged because I had difficulty letting go of my single life. I didn't cheat on my husband, but I spent too much time with my friends and called him controlling when he asked me to stay home. Now I have learned to compromise.

 

Marriage can be terrible for women too!

[lucy_in_disguise]

A spouse is a great addition to a "boring" life, and there are a ton of "boring" ppl out there! Many do not enjoy the process of going out and finding girls to take home and are happy to have someone locked down. My boyfriend can't wait to move to the burbs an spend his weekends picking up dog poop.

[truth_seeker]

It all comes down to love. If you love the person you're with, marriage is a no-brainer.

[xxoo]

On the flip side, what is the appeal of being single? I'm skeptical that singlehood is as wonderful as you suggest, since so many men marry, and even remarry after divorce.

 

Maybe the truth is that people who marry are looking for more from life. Whether they find it is less certain.

[Minnie09]

I am not a man and I'm single now in my early 40s, for the very first time in my life. Recently divorced. My personal opinion is this, after having watched/experienced 1st hand/discussed the subject in detail: Women marry because they want the nesting experience, and most of them have a motherly instinct that develops automatically / biologically at a certain age.....hence kids......hence marriage and family.

 

As for the men: they simply want to be taken care of, ideally by a Madonna who they can feel comfortable with like they used to with their moms when they were little boys. After a while that gets boring though, and they want to lead a double life with some excitement, while the wife at home represents their solid/reliable/standard life. Very few IMO are entirely happy and content with just the caretaker motherly W, the boring or dwindling sex life, the mediocre life companion, even though that's just what they got married for in the first place. Sorry - I'm jaded......but that's also my honest opinion based on tons of experience. I think men's intentions are generally selfish and not good. They are takers by nature.

 

 

Oddly enough....the only exception I know is my dad. Now in his 70s, absolutely loving and devoted to his W, always put her and us kids first.....no issues there. Maybe it's a generational thing. Modern families are different. Couples are different. Men these days are just generally not "good" in terms of R and M.

[Silly_Girl]

My guy lived alone or with housemates from 18 to 36, he literally expects nothing from a relationship, except the relationship.

[MissBee]

I think that living together has one big advantage: exiting is simpler and people tend to leave earlier if they become unhappy. Typically marriage takes few miserable years to disintegrate because people are bound by law and a sense of duty. If kids are in the picture it's 100 times more complicated.

 

I have to say, I haven't seen this to be true with people who have lived together for years, have kids together, joint property and aren't married. They are just as attached and have the same physical/tangible ties, minus the legality of it, which in fact makes them splitting up sometimes more difficult in terms of knowing what to do legally about their "stuff."

 

It's one thing to live together but you're just renting and pay half the rent and buy furniture separately, have no kids, maintain separate accounts etc and it has only been for a short time, then maybe splitting up is easy/easier; but living together for several years where you purchase property, have children and do all that married people do sans actual marriage doesn't in fact make it simpler.

 

The only time it is simple to leave a relationship is when you're dating and don't live together or have your monies and other areas tied together. But any form of combining your lives monetarily, property wise, having kids with someone, will make it more complicated to up and leave and I think at least the legal aspects of marriage provide some protocol for dissolution, whereas when you're just living together, sometimes, unless you're very clear and conscious about it, it may be less clear how to go about that.

 

Marriages certificates don't make one attached...it's all the other stuff: years invested, children, having property and other tangible investments, common friends, family etc. Which both married and just cohabiting people can have and that is what makes it hard for people to leave relationships...not just the marriage certificate, although yes on some level marriage implies more of a "seriousness" and obligation for many, legally and spiritually for some...but nevertheless it is facile to believe if you live together for yeaars and essentially have combined lives and children that you can just be like "Well...this isn't working, tootles!" and it will be somehow easier than a married couple doing so, simply because they are married.

[xxoo]

Oddly enough....the only exception I know is my dad. Now in his 70s, absolutely loving and devoted to his W, always put her and us kids first.....no issues there. Maybe it's a generational thing. Modern families are different. Couples are different. Men these days are just generally not "good" in terms of R and M.

 

My H is like your dad, completely devoted to me and the kids. My dad was that husband and father, too.

 

It takes a lot of strength to love that deeply. We have a lot of full grown adolescents running around these days.

[Ninjainpajamas]

On the flip side, what is the appeal of being single? I'm skeptical that singlehood is as wonderful as you suggest, since so many men marry, and even remarry after divorce.

 

Maybe the truth is that people who marry are looking for more from life. Whether they find it is less certain.

 

It's not about singlehood being "wonderful" all of the time, but if you're unhappy with your life then you have full responsibility, accountability for your own life...you can't blame someone else, or expect someone else to shoulder the responsibility because you like to "work on life's challenges together".

 

Some people have been married so long and I'm not even confident they could function on their own, I wouldn't be surprised if they just jumped right into another relationship/marriage if their marriage for whatever reason suddenly came to an end.

 

I see extremely dependent people that do get married as well, people who need a family unit/support because that's all they know, and it's an element in their lives that make them feel insecure and unguided to be without...they can't live for themselves, alone, they can't help themselves, they have to have a "job" a to-do list that gives them the motivation and support in order to accomplish their personal goals...it's not just about "love"...it's dependency and a lot of men do it, first it was mom, then it's the girlfriend then it's the wife...if there was even a transition period between the mom and wife.

 

I don't know how you look at these men and think "strength" and "courage", isn't that his responsibility? does this person have a choice? if they were not to be apart of the "family unit" they'd be seen as cowards and someone who "gives up"...there's no middle ground there, you're either hailed for doing what you're SUPPOSED TO DO or shamed for not...it's that freakin simple...there's no freedom in that.

 

You think men who marry after divorce are just "falling in love"? what's love got to do with it?

 

He knows nothing else, he can't survive on his own...he can't sleep on his own, wake up for himself, has a crutch under his arm every time he feels "bad" where he's actually got to stir in the dark in his bed forcing himself to think about his issues/faults and fears rather than conquer them on his own...so he just runs back into the "safety net" of a marriage where a woman takes care of you...then they are distracted once again in life, with the responsibilities and duties of that life...it's not about being independent or strong, men can be just as insecurity as women...that's not admirable in my eyes.

 

My guy lived alone or with housemates from 18 to 36, he literally expects nothing from a relationship, except the relationship.

 

And yet, he's jumping into a marriage with you? sounds like a prepared guy to me! never even lived with a woman!

 

My H is like your dad, completely devoted to me and the kids. My dad was that husband and father, too.

 

It takes a lot of strength to love that deeply. We have a lot of full grown adolescents running around these days.

 

Some men need something to devote to, they take pride and honor in upholding that oath...like a baker who takes pride in the quality of his bread and pastries..it's how he identifies with himself, a sense of purpose and belonging, a sense of self-worth that he may not have without that...he might hit the roof and fall apart without it.

 

It's not about the strength of loving deeply, my god, do people actually believe people make all these choices out of "love"? does he love any less out of that situation? is he less of a man because he doesn't stick to it?

 

A man doesn't have his freedom and that's the exact old-fashioned ideology, and why men feel "obligated"....it's black and white to women....but it's wrong, takes a stronger man or even woman to face life on their own, than it does with someone by their side, and yet that is what is called "weak"....yeah freaking try it....If you can mentally/emotionally cope without breaking down out of your safety net of security.

[xxoo]

It's not about the strength of loving deeply, my god, do people actually believe people make all these choices out of "love"? does he love any less out of that situation? is he less of a man because he doesn't stick to it?

 

It takes genuine love and strength to do marriage the right way.

 

In your mind, the man is marrying for other reasons. So you don't understand.

 

It's not like these men want to marry just any woman....

[Ninjainpajamas]

It takes genuine love and strength to do marriage the right way.

 

In your mind, the man is marrying for other reasons. So you don't understand.

 

It's not like these men want to marry just any woman....

 

Love is a undefined...something you determine what and where that resides within yourself, it's limits imposed or admitted within the framework of your mind and ability to allow that to "open", which is not limited to marriage...you can't monopolize the word "love" (or more like the ultimate express of love) and associate it with "marriage" and thus place it on a pedestal....why is this done so often?

 

Just because an individual is not married, doesn't mean they don't know what "love" is, or have never loved anyone before or have never been deeply in love with someone or something before...yet that is the common perception, maybe...just maybe, sometimes it's just people that are too afraid to love without a security blanket draped over their heads, or maybe they just didn't have anyone to love before that.

 

Maybe they're just too scared to open up and share their emotions with someone that might "hurt them", maybe they're no so confident in protecting themselves and it's not even so much about this other person but how comfortable you are with yourself and your own feelings.

 

And "strength"...a strength to what? fulfill your obligations and duties, to be responsible for the children you bore and the woman you live with? What is this definition of interpretation of "strength" that you mention?

 

This is the point I was trying to make earlier with Janesays, they're just words with no substance...they're just rhetoric, they are not things people understand if they think for more than 5 seconds about it or even think about it wholeheartedly beyond that because you're just supposed to "get it"...yet I'm sure if you google "strength and love" in marriage you'd come up with a ton of matches, because that's the association, it's the trademark generic, vague, description-that-nobody-even-really gets into enough to describe unless pushed into a corner, so they can elevate it to a level that is superior.

 

Then they're like "oh yeah....uhhh...uhhh yeah like he stayed and like didn't run away...therefore...he...is...stroong...so much self-sacrifice and love...takes so much "strength" because human beings never put anything before themselves and live for something else because they're actually weak and vulnerable on the inside"

 

After all only "real men can get married and stay" right? you don't have to lie to me about how you really feel...only a real man "can love a woman for who she is and unconditionally"...do you and all women determine the definition of what love is for men? because reading these forums it sure does seem like it...and "love" and "strength" don't seem like the tools that are putting humpty-dumpty back together again.

 

Maybe when people start thinking to themselves honestly about how to really answer these questions with some depth, they'll actually be able to answer them with some raw honesty and transparency rather than just fluff.

 

Instead of just repeating the same rehearsed statements that you're supposed to say while married, it's painfully obvious it's sugar-coated and one-sided.

 

Queue in old lady voice "Well....you...don't have to get married you know, it's not for everyone, you don't have to do it because you sound like an unloving man anyway, poor women...plus I'd rather not think about it anyway and dismiss the questions and instead replying with simple responses that are good enough for me, it's easier not to think of such things anyway not that I do because I already believe without question, it's unexplainable...if it makes you happy *crawwwk* stay single ::shakes cane::"

[Silly_Girl]

 

And yet, he's jumping into a marriage with you? sounds like a prepared guy to me! never even lived with a woman!

 

 

Prepared? In what way? I appreciate your comment was intended to be sarcastic but it makes no sense to me.

 

In terms of prepared... he has no need whatsoever to 'devote himself', he doesn't need a 'crutch', so what's his excuse?! He would say he loves me and every single day of his life is better with me in it due to laughter, affection, and all of those coupley things. Things he was quite happy without because no one before meant enough or was a good enough compatibility match to make him consider changing a life he was happy with.

[Nyla]

Every single man I know that is married did it because their wife pressured them to do it.

 

I personally don't really believe in marriage. I don't see how it's any different than being in a committed relationship.

 

Marriage has financial, social and emotional benefits that do not come with a regular committed relationship.

 

I knew a man who always said that marriage was just a piece of paper.

 

He lived with a woman for more than ten years and nursed her through colon cancer. She left some money to him and her family tried to say that he was just a boarder. He had to hire a lawyer to fight for the money that his live in partner left him.

 

This could not have occurred if the man I knew was legally married to his late partner.

[M30USA]

Marriage has financial, social and emotional benefits that do not come with a regular committed relationship.

 

I knew a man who always said that marriage was just a piece of paper.

 

He lived with a woman for more than ten years and nursed her through colon cancer. She left some money to him and her family tried to say that he was just a boarder. He had to hire a lawyer to fight for the money that his live in partner left him.

 

This could not have occurred if the man I knew was legally married to his late partner.

 

That is a nice story. Honestly. But it's a rare exception.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I just find it silly that love is equated with marriage. People marry for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with love, just like people in love don't marry for all kinds of reasons.