Emilia Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Attraction, character, shared values and some sort of drive. Ah, you have standards. No wonder you are single Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 I do not consider myself bitter. I have never done online dating. So why was I meeting undesirable men? Why are lots of women, all over the world, having similar issues with men? Could it be because a lot of men do not treat women well, and the ones who do are snatched up quickly? I definitely think so. Aaagh with the OLD thing. Again amusing (sad) that it's clear that relationship problems are endemic regardless of what method is used. I have only OLD and met great ladies w/o unreasonable or wacko issues accompanying them. I sometimes wonder if people who have had OLD woes are not over-exaggerating the circumstances they find themselves in or are the ones who are truly to blame with the problems that ensue. I know, I know, it's not ideal, but I have had good luck with OLD. Just haven't found the one (or have I? ) Anyway, one thing is clear...there are good ladies and gentlemen out there looking and finding a lot of jaded, damaged people to weed through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 (edited) Ah, you have standards. No wonder you are single I'm not single. There are tons of good people out there once you learn how to look for them. If all the OP is finding are DUDS and it just 'never seems to work out they are all jerks or ugly!' that is not the fault of the men involved. Her picker is off, she needs to re-assess what it is she thinks she has to offer/what she wants and then date in REAL LIFE, not ONLINE which is full of morons and weirdos anyways. I mean her mother told her she should have kept dating the guy who was a gentleman but had no physical chemistry with. Sometimes it takes an outside third party to see what is really going on and I can pretty much guarantee everyone that Mama is not going to make her date an ugly stupid man... Edited June 29, 2013 by hppr Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 I can pretty much guarantee everyone that Mama is not going to make her date an ugly stupid man... oh you would be surprised.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Sometimes it takes an outside third party to see what is really going on and I can pretty much guarantee everyone that Mama is not going to make her date an ugly stupid man... You would like to think that this is very helpful, but even 3rd-parties have a tendency to miss the mark. In the end, YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU WANT & NEED. But I hear you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 oh you would be surprised.... My mom just wants me with a guy now, the quality doesn't matter much 4 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 My mom just wants me with a guy now, the quality doesn't matter much LOL! I feel for you Mesmerized! Eh, who needs quality? You're not moving fast enough for your mom it would appear. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 My mom just wants me with a guy now, the quality doesn't matter much Yea, that's exactly when you have to stop listening to her 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Yea, that's exactly when you have to stop listening to her I never listened to her in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Anyway, one thing is clear...there are good ladies and gentlemen out there looking and finding a lot of jaded, damaged people to weed through. LOL when I was on the singles' scene at 30 I could have written pages and pages about the women I met. But there were good ones too It is more about a glass is half empty vs. glass is half full. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 There are still many good men in the world who are relationship material. You just have to weed through a lot of losers before finding a good man, and be willing to dump that loser when he shows his true colors. And screen out the ones who have red flags to begin with. I think a lot of people waste too much of their single life on someone who is not compatible, and then years go by and they are no closer to finding someone who is compatible for the long term. Don't waste your time on guys who have obvious red flags, or that are obviously not compatible for whatever reason. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan R. Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 I also laughed at the post where your date called the waiter a fagget. Where do you meet these guys? I nor any of my friends would act like this! Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 (edited) And actually - I have been out with men who made me feel those things on the first date. The last one I was with for four years. Sure. You're not with any of those men now though. I'm not trying to pick on you drseussgrrl. You're easily one of the most level-headed posters around. You clearly go for good guys and when a guy turns out to not be good you're great at cutting your losses and moving on. My point to the women on this forum is that if all you seem to be meeting are "great guys but no chemistry" or douchebags, or even amazing guys who don't call you again, why not consider giving the "great guys but no chemistry" a second date. I really think you women are meeting more of these types of guys than you realize. I said a second date. I didn't say sex a relationship or marriage. (I get that ES gave it a month w the last guy she saw... I'm talking the single women reading this thread.) EDIT: AND to make sure that you are treating the men you meet with respect. You can't be complaining about the douches you meet IF you are flaking on people or blowing off the decent guys whom you didn't feel chemistry with (ignoring all texts and phone calls after a so-so first date). Karma doesn't work that way... Edited June 29, 2013 by Imajerk17 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 The sad thing is with some women being accommodating and respectful is seen as weak and boring. The same thing goes for women. Why do you think, "Why Men Love Bitches" was written? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 The same thing goes for women. Why do you think, "Why Men Love Bitches" was written? I certainly don't see nice women as boring. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 (edited) EDIT: AND to make sure that you are treating the men you meet with respect. You can't be complaining about the douches you meet IF you are flaking on people or blowing off the decent guys whom you didn't feel chemistry with (ignoring all texts and phone calls after a so-so first date). Karma doesn't work that way... On that note, I'm an OLD veteran and I've come to see that a woman having the courtesy to get back to me to tell me it's not a match is about as rare as a bright sunny low-humidity July day in DC. It happens but it's rare. If I got pissed every time I got rudely blown off from a girl on Match I'd have an ulcer by now. So I more or less accept it for what it is and move on. I have no doubt that the women doing the blowing off are a lot like the single women posting on this thread complaining how hard it is to meet a decent guy though. Hmmm. And FWIW, I'm a good guy. I'm not gonna claim to have amazing charisma or anything, but I have my share of female friends and women who have had sex with me and women who want to date me (e.g., not a creeper at least). I also have my act together. I also make it a point to do most of the driving for the first date and paying, and overall act like a gentleman. So yeah, I sometimes find myself thinking that single women are the crazy/unrealistic ones here, and that the reason why many of you are single and seemingly only going out with douches is that you aren't giving good guys enough of a shot. Sorry. Edited June 29, 2013 by Imajerk17 Link to post Share on other sites
Roadkill007 Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 I certainly don't see nice women as boring. But when "nice" is the only word that comes up to describe someone... That's a little sad . "thoughtful" is way more positive of a description in terms of images. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 The same thing goes for women. Why do you think, "Why Men Love Bitches" was written? Not really. That book was written for women with the purpose of teaching them to establish boundaries and not be a doormat. Men don't find women that are accommodating boring. There are men that seek out that type of woman. Link to post Share on other sites
LOSTnMT Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 There are good guys left but only speaking for me, with all the man bashing, feminism and outright rude behavior by some women now days, it make me a little more skeptical. Not only do I have to be interested now a woman has to earn my trust before I even act like myself. It sucks but its just the way it is in todays society, and I know I am not the only man that feels this way. When you have a spine sometimes life is a little tougher. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 ...all the man bashing, feminism and outright rude behavior by some women now days... I'm sorry for your experiences, but I HAVE NEVER EVER met any woman who has exhibited such behavior. Is this a age-range thing? I date women in their forties. What is up with this? Fortunate me, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
LOSTnMT Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 I'm sorry for your experiences, but I HAVE NEVER EVER met any woman who has exhibited such behavior. Fortunate me, huh? You must not get out much...... Heck turn on your TV and watch the next commercial that comes on, the guy is always the dumbass, moron who cant mow his lawn, fix anything and cant drive etc. Put on a movie and see how men are not tough anymore, women kick their asses in movies....violence towards men is cool, hip and totally acceptable on the big screen. Yes age has a lot to do with it, older women were raised respectable the younger ones are unable to cope in a lot of different situations. There are endless examples. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 The same thing goes for women. Why do you think, "Why Men Love Bitches" was written? Men don't love bitches, but men will end up marrying them because they are assertive and go after guys. Life is all about separating those who put in effort from those who sit and whine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 You certainly have the propensity to raise the subject that agitates the masses. I am not sure it is necessarily 'a good thing'. You want attention, but not on this scale nor of this sort. I am pretty sure of that. It's just a whacky, 'out-there' idea, but how about asking yourself more practical and less profound questions, such as: "Assuming there are normal guys out there, why do I have problems either hunting them down or, indeed attracting them"? The problem with that more practically grounded, direct approach is that it starts to ask questions of yourself, rather than questions about everyone and everything else. Asking those questions of yourself is damn awkward and less than self-validating. Nevertheless, does it have virtue, or does it not? Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Men don't love bitches, but men will end up marrying them because they are assertive and go after guys. Life is all about separating those who put in effort from those who sit and whine. Well, I've approached. I've messaged men over the years, and asked one guy if we were ever going to meet (some years back). What you stated above, easily applies to men, too. Didn't I say something similar myself, here or in another thread? I already understood that most men don't love bitches (although if they're hot, then it doesn't seem to matter to some), and that it was the more forthright, outgoing, achievement-oriented women that were really being written about. But if those men don't grow balls of their own, and expect women to grow ovaries and approach them (instead of going for the Henry Cavill's of the world), then they have nothing to whine about either. I say this as someone who has empathized with them before. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 "Assuming there are normal guys out there, why do I have problems either hunting them down or, indeed attracting them"? I think she was just bored and wanted to watch the sparks fly. "Why are there no good men left" will hit a nerve with pretty much every guy on here. At least the guys will usually ask "what can I do, is it my looks, can I change how I dress" before they post their wa-wa-wa threads. Link to post Share on other sites
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