He hasn't texted me in 7 days: I want closure?

[tbf]

And the wishing and hoping- that can all be avoided if I get closure from him.

There's no need for closure since nothing's been opened. He's not responsible for your erroneous expectations.

[Sweeetie]

He broke up with you way before this.

 

When? We were dating and said "see you next time" on our last one like on all our others.

[Drseussgrrl]

Omg girl please listen up.

 

You are acting like a HUGE doormat here with NO self esteem. He talked about other hot women in front of you, said he DOESN'T want a relationship very clearly, and you actually PROMISED him sex as if waiting a few more dates was going to mean something.

 

Newsflash: it doesn't.

 

You're willing to forgo what it is you want the most just to be in this dude's presence. You're willing to set aside your boundaries, your expectations, your hopes and lay your heart on the line just to "hang out" with this guy?! COME ON. He's JUST ONE DUDE. And from the sound of it, not even a good one!

 

There is only one reason a guy goes silent like this. HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. You heard that right. He simply does NOT CARE. How does that make you feel? When a guy is really interested, he isn't going to risk losing you to someone else or hurting your feelings by going silent for an entire week. This is NOT how interested guys act. FACT.

 

Do not text him and ask if he's still interested. His silence is all you need to hear. And that's a big fat NO. I know it stings honey but no guy is going to crave and desire a woman who lays herself in his path like a deer he hit on the highway. He wants the deer he has to HUNT DOWN.

 

You should have bolted the minute he started talking about all those other women he found to be hot like you two were buddies in the locker room. This was douchebag behavior and no guy would do that in front of his dream girl. I mean really I would have gotten up and left. Gross. He was setting your expectations right then and there and you completely ignored it.

 

Take this as a lesson learned, girl, and please, have higher standards for yourself in the future. DO NOT CHASE UNINTERESTED MEN.

[SmileFace]

When? We were dating and said "see you next time" on our last one like on all our others.

So what?! I am not going to go pull up your next thread.

 

He hasn't contacted you in 7 days!!

See you next time isn't even valid.

 

Do you have him as a friend on any social networks or any mutual friends?

Do you know if he is dead or not?

 

Since the will be the only thing that matters at this point.

[kaylan]

I'm always baffled by the amount of women whom put their foot down and refuse to initiate with a man regardless of the situation.

 

Look, if you haven't heard from him in seven days and you want to at least exchange a hello, then friggin' do it. What is stopping you?

 

Instead of mentally aching from the fact he hasn't contacted you, you could simply contact him and remove that worry. You'll have your answer right there.

 

Grow some she-balls, woMAN!

 

Besides, what if he's sitting in his house right now wondering the SAME EXACT THING. Like, "where is she? Why hasn't she contacted me? We've been on 5 dates," etc. etc. etc.

This.

 

PS - Long haired men unite! lolol

[Sweeetie]

Omg girl please listen up.

 

You are acting like a HUGE doormat here with NO self esteem. He talked about other hot women in front of you, said he DOESN'T want a relationship very clearly, and you actually PROMISED him sex as if waiting a few more dates was going to mean something.

 

Newsflash: it doesn't.

 

You're willing to forgo what it is you want the most just to be in this dude's presence. You're willing to set aside your boundaries, your expectations, your hopes and lay your heart on the line just to "hang out" with this guy?! COME ON. He's JUST ONE DUDE. And from the sound of it, not even a good one!

 

There is only one reason a guy goes silent like this. HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. You heard that right. He simply does NOT CARE. How does that make you feel? When a guy is really interested, he isn't going to risk losing you to someone else or hurting your feelings by going silent for an entire week. This is NOT how interested guys act. FACT.

 

Do not text him and ask if he's still interested. His silence is all you need to hear. And that's a big fat NO. I know it stings honey but no guy is going to crave and desire a woman who lays herself in his path like a deer he hit on the highway. He wants the deer he has to HUNT DOWN.

 

You should have bolted the minute he started talking about all those other women he found to be hot like you two were buddies in the locker room. This was douchebag behavior and no guy would do that in front of his dream girl. I mean really I would have gotten up and left. Gross. He was setting your expectations right then and there and you completely ignored it.

 

Take this as a lesson learned, girl, and please, have higher standards for yourself in the future. DO NOT CHASE UNINTERESTED MEN.

 

Perfect post. You have convinced me full on to not try to re-initiate contact with him. Thanks very much.

[Sweeetie]

Is it going to make you feel better to hear that he found someone else he wanted to have sex with or wanted to get into a relationship with? Is it going to make you feel better to find out that he decided he wasn't interested in you? Is it going to make you feel better to find out that some other girl in his rotation jumped ahead of you for whatever reason?

 

The point is that he obviously didn't want to have sex with you that badly, since he bolted so close to what you contend was the finish line.

 

This and what DrSeussgirl said have convinced me all the way to not text him. I do not want to face that kind of hurt.

[kaylan]

Sure.

 

Women have **** tests, so do men.

 

I don't often text/call women, but I do find ways to contact them as necessary, or at least keep a line of communication open. If I have a good time with a girl, or have some sort of "connection," I will stop to initiate contact after a while. If she doesn't make an attempt to get back at me, then I know she isn't interested enough. We play ball in both ends of the court. If she only wants to play D and never sneak in for some O, then I'm not interested. That's like watching NJ-D hockey of years past-- boring as ****.

I do this too.

 

Sometimes Ill fall off the face of the Earth because I want a girl to actually show interest in me. I dont want to be the one constantly initiating things first.

[Drseussgrrl]

I do this too.

 

Sometimes Ill fall off the face of the Earth because I want a girl to actually show interest in me. I dont want to be the one constantly initiating things first.

 

Even if you stated clearly to a woman that you don't want a relationship with her? You'd still expect her to chase you down?

[miss_jaclynrae]

I do this too.

 

Sometimes Ill fall off the face of the Earth because I want a girl to actually show interest in me. I dont want to be the one constantly initiating things first.

 

And that **** works for you? How old are you?

[Sweeetie]

In all the time that we were dating, I showed more interest than he did. He was always the one to say "Shall we get the cheque now" if we were at a restaurant. He was always the one to give late replies to texts.

[Fondue]

And that **** works for you? How old are you?

Why is this a matter of age?

 

This is about respect.

 

You respect one another and show mutual interest by extending a hand and initiating communication. If everything is one sided, then that is pretty clear that things are simply unfair.

 

Relationships are give and take. Regardless of whether or not it is just courtship, or when you're together for several years. You can't just give-give-give or take-take-take.

 

There is no flippin' way that I will continue to prod somebody without some return. If she doesn't have the decency to initiate with me, then she isn't worth it. She is clearly showing me she isn't interested enough. I'd rather a chase a woman worth my time.

[Fondue]

 

PS - Long haired men unite! lolol

 

Right on, brother. *pound*

 

I'm gonna donate it soon though. That's kind of my thing. Grow, donate. Grow, donate.

 

If someone else can put a use to it, why not?

[SmileFace]

I am sorry regular dating rules don't apply here. This isn't about her initiating contact.

Plus review the whole story.

This guy isn't interested in her.

[Drseussgrrl]

Why is this a matter of age?

 

This is about respect.

 

You respect one another and show mutual interest by extending a hand and initiating communication. If everything is one sided, then that is pretty clear that things are simply unfair.

 

Relationships are give and take. Regardless of whether or not it is just courtship, or when you're together for several years. You can't just give-give-give or take-take-take.

 

There is no flippin' way that I will continue to prod somebody without some return. If she doesn't have the decency to initiate with me, then she isn't worth it. She is clearly showing me she isn't interested enough. I'd rather a chase a woman worth my time.

 

Right. And do you tell these women that you don't want a relationship and talk about other hot women in front of them also? You seem to be missing some very key elements here. Or just ignoring them.

[Fondue]

Right. And do you tell these women that you don't want a relationship and talk about other hot women in front of them also? You seem to be missing some very key elements here. Or just ignoring them.

I am stating for general purposes, for every day application, not for this particular case.

 

I must have not made that clear.

 

I wasn't aware that hits particular's poster's problem was that the man was a bit of weasel. If that is the case, then maybe it is best she avoids contact all together.

[curlygirl40]

Sweeetie

 

You've gotten some great replies here and it looks like you're hopefuly going to follow the advice, I just wanted to add/reiterate some stuff.

 

As much as it sucks to not get closure, you won't always get it. That's one of the biggest lessons in dating. Sometimes you just won't know why. Let go of the why. You don't need to know the why.

 

He has told you everything you need to know, you're just not listening.

 

Asking if he's still interested is not necessary. He's not. A guy who's interested let's his interest be known. Period. And he's not doing that. So you need to move on.

 

You don't need closure. You have your answer.

 

I think every girl who's dating should read the 'He's just not that into you' book. Weekly. Seriously, think about getting that book.

 

Best of luck! Follow the advice. Lose this guy's number.

[AverageCat]

There is so much BS in this thread.

 

SOME OF YOU WOMEN ARE ****KKKED.

 

He has initiated contact for 5 dates and now you wonder why he is not putting the effort anymore? Because you aren't either! How would he know you like him? A connection is supposed to be a mutual thing. Honestly if a girl I was into didn't start at some point to initiate convos I would move on and think she's PROBABLY JUST NOT INTO ME.

 

Do you expect to just do nothing and get a valuable guy by your side?

[SmileFace]

There is so much BS in this thread.

 

SOME OF YOU WOMEN ARE ****KKKED.

 

He has initiated contact for 5 dates and now you wonder why he is not putting the effort anymore? Because you aren't either! How would he know you like him? A connection is supposed to be a mutual thing. Honestly if a girl I was into didn't start at some point to initiate convos I would move on and think she's PROBABLY JUST NOT INTO ME.

 

Do you expect to just do nothing and get a valuable guy by your side?

Did you read her last thread?

[AverageCat]

Did you read her last thread?

 

NO. Either way a simple. What's up will solve all her problems.

[SmileFace]

NO. Either way a simple. What's up will solve all her problems.

I am not saying it wouldn't solve her problem.

If she really wants to get over this - yeah, go ahead and contact him.

However if you read the other thread you can see that the guy isn't interested in her and she is wastin her time.

She is making up this relationship/dating in her head.

But ... if she really wants to make this work or any relationship for that matter - I will agree that she should initiate contact but in this matter, no.

[FitChick]

You wouldn't let him have sex on date 3 when he wanted it, so he's punishing you by not showing up for date 6 when YOU want to have sex.

 

Must be a Scorpio...

[snowflakes88]

I hope you stick to your decision not to contact him. He's given you a gift, really. You think waiting 3 more dates for sex was some major move, something that will make him respect you and make it more likely to move things in a relationship direction - but it wasn't. If you'd met up again and had sex, you'd just be more attached, and he still wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you. Then you'd really be a mess. It's clear from your level of over-analysis so far that you are not built for casual. No point in pretending you are and walking INTO heartbreak for no reason.

[kaylan]

And that **** works for you? How old are you?

I dont literally mean I drop off the face of the earth. I just scale back contact if I notice Im doing most of the initiating and I make the girl work for my attention.

 

And yeah, its worked for me.

[2sure]

" Hey, haven't heard from you in a bit. Did you by any chance dump me? I mean, I've heard it happens."