youngwife25 Posted October 4, 2004 Share Posted October 4, 2004 Hi Shareher, my husband and I have done some crazy stuff (both together and before we were together) and he has a similar fantasy. It turns me on to think about a lot, and we have done some mild stuff (I've gone down on a guy in front of him, etc. and it was hot). but sometimes when we're fantasizing he gets so into it, it seems obsessive and even masturbatory, like its not about me but about this idea in his head. which is fine for when he's on his own, but i feel like, since i am the one who is going to get ****ed (for real), i need to be the one who's initiating and enthusiastic. because if he is too much, i start feeling a little pressured, like there are expectations, like his fantasy is dominant and not our experience together. and that's not hot. so i would say that the best way to get your wife into it is...pretend you're not so into it. she knows you like the idea, so I would say take the attitude of, sure you think it's a hot fantasy, but hey, who cares. it might not even be that great anyway. i can tell you that feeling like there are no expectations and no pressure on me to do anything makes me want to be a dirty girl much, much more. Link to post Share on other sites
ShareHer Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Originally posted by Hilarious Your wife doesn't want it, and no other woman does, as you can see from the responses. Well, it's obvious you picked the perfect username for yourself! I can appreciate the fact that you speak for all women throughout the world. How did you ever find time to poll all of them? You want the best of both worlds, but this is one case where it is not possible. To be loyal and not to be loyal, to be married and remain single, in other words, to be sitting on two chairs. I have to think that anyone that doesn't want the best of both worlds is setting their goals too low. Judging by what you are saying, you love her, but you don't want her. You don't want her, unless you feel jealous, threatened, or challenged. Oh my. I can only imagine how upset she will be when I call her today and let her know I don't want her. But one woman can never provide you with these thrills, you have to choose, what's more important to you, exciting sex, or a stable relationship. I must've skipped over the pages in the marriage reference manual that stated that exciting sex, as we know it, becomes non-existant when one says "I do". Another thing, that is strange, is that you claim not to be religious, but you are constantly implying, that sex is dirty, and that a woman is a whore.. Let me get out my checklist ... ok, here it is ... I claimed to not be religious. Check. ...sex is dirty. Check. (I like it dirty sometimes) ... a woman is a whore. Check. (Sometimes it's fun to have her role play a whore. That reminds me, I forgot to pay her for last night.) But that's what religious fanatics do. It's like you enjoy a forbidden fruit, but if it's not forbidden (and it's not), then you are not interested. Oh, so now you're bashing the religious fanatics. I though bashing sexual deviates (like me) would be enough for you. You have some sort of a split personality, I resent that remark! And so do I! As do I! ...your mind, heart and body don't function together in coordination. Now hold on there one minute Buster! My mind functions pretty well ... ummm, well sometimes. And my yearly checkup proved my heart is doing well. The body? Yeah, so what? It's getting saggy but what do you expect at my age? Ok, ok, so there IS that irritable bowel thing but so what? You cannot experience an act of lovemaking in its totality, when you melt into your partner with all your body, heart and soul. If you did, you wouldn't enjoy watching your wife like an object with another man. Degrading her, because you hate yourself. That's a case of sado-masochism. Well thanks for your input. Please supply your mailing address so I can get the check for the analysis in the mail ... like I do with all my other shrinks! Thanks for brightening my day! Link to post Share on other sites
ShareHer Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Originally posted by youngwife25 Hi Shareher, my husband and I have done some crazy stuff (both together and before we were together) and he has a similar fantasy. It turns me on to think about a lot, and we have done some mild stuff (I've gone down on a guy in front of him, etc. and it was hot). but sometimes when we're fantasizing he gets so into it, it seems obsessive and even masturbatory, like its not about me but about this idea in his head. which is fine for when he's on his own, but i feel like, since i am the one who is going to get ****ed (for real), i need to be the one who's initiating and enthusiastic. because if he is too much, i start feeling a little pressured, like there are expectations, like his fantasy is dominant and not our experience together. and that's not hot. so i would say that the best way to get your wife into it is...pretend you're not so into it. she knows you like the idea, so I would say take the attitude of, sure you think it's a hot fantasy, but hey, who cares. it might not even be that great anyway. i can tell you that feeling like there are no expectations and no pressure on me to do anything makes me want to be a dirty girl much, much more. Hi youngwifie! Wow. I may have to slip off and find a dark, quiet room here at work after reading your post! If going down on another guy is mild stuff, I can't wait to hear about the wild stuff! And who got hurt by you doing that? No one. Your husband was turned on by it, you seemed to like it and most likely, the guy on the receiving end was a happy camper. I'd say that was a Win-Win-Win proposition! I realize that I have to make time for both sides of my sex life ... the naughty side and the romantic, loving side. I can separate them and I do. I wouldn't want to have to live without either of the sides. My wife knows I use some of her previous sexcapades as masturbation themes and also on occasion when we're having sex. But when we're having a romantic moment, that other stuff isn't in the picture. I'd have a difficult time convincing my wife that I wasn't into watching her with another man. She knows me too well. I won't pressure her into it. For the time being, I'll continue to think about her and the other guy she had. If she does it again one day, that will be great. If she doesn't, I guess that's just the way it will be. Keep me posted if you two have any additional mild/wild sessions. Link to post Share on other sites
flavius Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Okay, I can relate to your fantasy. I don't know why, but it seems to be fairly common. But just because it's common doesn't make it a good idea. I think fantasies are great. But I also think, almost by definition, they are things to be avoided in reality. I think I can hear something pretty corrosive in your "voice", and that your relationship is headed for trouble. I also think you know it, but that you're pretty much willing to sacrifice your marriage just to see your girl in a dogpile of men. Darn shame. Link to post Share on other sites
redriding Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 an ex boyfriend of mine wanted me to have sex wiht another guy infront of him. I contemplated it for a while ..but thought it would be too weird. On an emotional level i think that it might have caused alot of unforseen strain. Once its done the damge would have been done. I wasnt going to risk an emotional sabotage. Link to post Share on other sites
Confissledone Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 ShareHer I know EXACTLY how you feel, I'm 18 years old and so is my girlfriend, we have been together nearly 3 years and I currently have a fantasy of her having sex with other men(the more the better), I'm about to state part of my fantasy below and the reason why I like it is because I want her to beg for it and be a little slut which indeed she is quite a flirt, so the whole slut role fits her. My fantasy would be to be at a nice mansion in a room with a pool table, having my girlfriend stripped down from a real small halter top and a real mini mini skirt and high heels to just her halter top, a matching thong, and her high heels, laying on the pool table waiting desperately for us to tell her what position to assume and waiting to get ****ed by all of us, me and about 3 to 10 other guys waiting to **** her after me. Once we've all ****ed her, some how tie her down and **** her like crazy till she cant walk from all the cock. Thats my fantasy. Pardon the language. Link to post Share on other sites
juzme Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 I don't see what these people are so mad about you treating your wife this way. It's obvious she's already willing to do another man so you asking her to do it in your home of you is abuse. Don't make sense to me I think that if you ask eventually she'll do it just look at the outcome. She refused to have sex with another man then she eventually did it. SO eveneutally she will have sex with him in your bed I'm sure of it. And your not a sicko obviously your wife feels the same way about the whole situation of having sex with another guy.so yeah the other people who reply are just jealous of you because you gotta wife like that. I am like that myself..I'd love to see your wife in action too. Link to post Share on other sites
ShareHer Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Originally posted by Confissledone ShareHer I know EXACTLY how you feel, I'm 18 years old and so is my girlfriend, we have been together nearly 3 years and I currently have a fantasy of her having sex with other men(the more the better), I'm about to state part of my fantasy below and the reason why I like it is because I want her to beg for it and be a little slut which indeed she is quite a flirt, so the whole slut role fits her. My fantasy would be to be at a nice mansion in a room with a pool table, having my girlfriend stripped down from a real small halter top and a real mini mini skirt and high heels to just her halter top, a matching thong, and her high heels, laying on the pool table waiting desperately for us to tell her what position to assume and waiting to get ****ed by all of us, me and about 3 to 10 other guys waiting to **** her after me. Once we've all ****ed her, some how tie her down and **** her like crazy till she cant walk from all the cock. Thats my fantasy. Pardon the language. Holy Hell Confissledone!! That's a pretty hot fantasy you've got there! What surprises me though is your age. Most guys your age would either be jealous or angry or both if that fantasy played out. I was a jealous guy at your age but I believe when I hit my mid-20's, that useless emotion went away. Hmmmm, I think I'll borrow your fantasy if you don't mind and insert my wife. Maybe I'll include a blindfold for her for good measure. Link to post Share on other sites
ShareHer Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Originally posted by juzme I don't see what these people are so mad about you treating your wife this way. It's obvious she's already willing to do another man so you asking her to do it in your home of you is abuse. Don't make sense to me I think that if you ask eventually she'll do it just look at the outcome. She refused to have sex with another man then she eventually did it. SO eveneutally she will have sex with him in your bed I'm sure of it. And your not a sicko obviously your wife feels the same way about the whole situation of having sex with another guy.so yeah the other people who reply are just jealous of you because you gotta wife like that. I am like that myself..I'd love to see your wife in action too. juzme, it almost seems logical doesn't it? If she had sex once with another guy, why shouldn't she consider it again? I suppose it's possible that she will eventually outgrow what's known as the hotwife lifestyle but I just wish she'd let me watch her inaction just one time before she does. Link to post Share on other sites
thewedge Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 I have the same fantasy and have acted on it. It is probably something in our make up. My wife has gone along with the fantasy because she knows it turns me on. She has seduced two different men so far - both of whom we both knew fairly well. She is OK with me watching but the other men are not always keen on the idea. Our problem now is finding the right man. Link to post Share on other sites
Confissledone Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Thanks, it is a hot fantasy isnt it :-) I like the blindfold Idea too... Hey I also posted a link/url but it was removed by the moderator...it talks about and defines the meaning of hotwives which is what I've been reading lately...its pretty hot. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 ShareHer, The more I read this thread silently, the more I realize.... ... I also want to watch your wife have sex with other men. Small world. Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker ShareHer, The more I read this thread silently, the more I realize.... ... I also want to watch your wife have sex with other men. Small world. genius. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Originally posted by balths The reason it turns on virtually millions of men around the world is quite simple and biological. When a man sees his partner with another man, or simply suspects it, or even is just absent from her for some time, he will have an orgasm 3 times stronger than usual, his pelvic thrusts will be 3 times as hard. There's one simple reason for this: he wants to make sure the baby is his. How does the power of pelvic thrusts increase the likelihood of paternity? The speed of ejaculation is relative to the reflex of the contraction of the vas deferens, not how hard you're hitting it. Link to post Share on other sites
dixieman Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Shareher - thank you for all the great posts. It's good to know we're not the only ones... My wife slowly revealed her fantasy of wanting me to have sex with another woman. She said she wanted to hear all the details and wanted to watch. While my wife was able to arrange for me to have a year+ relationship with one of her friends, her friend didn't want her to watch. But my wife was incredibly turned on when I returned from being with the other woman. She was particularly turned on by the smell and performed oral. My wife still finds it an incredible turn on and often asks me to describe aspects of our love making. Of course, the whole thing is fine with me. My wife is still looking for the right girl that will let her watch; it's more difficult than one would think to find someone with her head screwed on right. Even though the other woman was a young hottie 15 years younger than my wife, it was never a threat to our relationship - it definitely made it stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
Confissledone Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Hey ShareHer, since dyermaker wants to watch your wife have sex with other men, if it were possible would you actually let him and be ok with it? lol just wondering Link to post Share on other sites
StylinZ Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Everybody has a threshold for this type of thing. It's not for anybody else to judge what is acceptable or not acceptable to another couple. One thing strikes me and that is that this couple talks openly about their fantasies while the majority of us keep them to ourselves, never to be told or fulfilled. Is that good or bad. many relationships die because people aren't honest about what they want. Others fail because the feeling just isn't mutual about certain fantasies, usually discovered later in the relationship when it's a shocking revelation. Clearly, in this case Shareher has been open from the get go. The other point is that, like myself, I have been able to dialogue openly about fantasies such a female partner for my GF. She has expressed interest but has wanted to control the when the where and the who. I am allowed to talk openly about it, use it as sexual stimulation during sex; but, in no way can I push her into it. And that's fair. However, we have been very honest about what is good for role play and what can actually be acted on. I would love to participate with this fantasy physically versus just watching but I know she would not want that so I have accepted her ground rules should this ever play out. Sometimes the very fact that you can say anything to your loved one in terms of sexual fantasy is arousal enough, while others have the need to act it out. The point has been made that one shouldn't be pushed into anything they don't want to do. But, if the door is kept open and a comfortable level of acceptance is reached eventually some fantasies can be safetly and willingly acted out. To each his/her own. Link to post Share on other sites
ShareHer Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 Originally posted by Confissledone Hey ShareHer, since dyermaker wants to watch your wife have sex with other men, if it were possible would you actually let him and be ok with it? lol just wondering That depends on a couple of things. #1, if that's an actual picture of him in his avatar then I would say no because my wife wouldn't want little boys present during sex. #2, if his statement was just him being a little smartazzed puzzy then I would again say no and for the same reason. #3, if he's a man and he really wanted to watch, as long as my wife was ok with it, sure, let him watch. Link to post Share on other sites
Confissledone Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 So.......ShareHer...any updates about your wife? On my behalf I feel my girlfriend is slowly thinking about doing something because she has asked me a couple of "what if (I)" questions. Hopefully she doesnt read this so she doesnt get defensive. Any guys out there with the same fantasy that have acted on it started by their girl or wife asking "what if" questions? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 ShareHer, the deal's still on the table. Link to post Share on other sites
Confissledone Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 lol dyermarker, wonder what ShareHer is gonna repond now....he's got some good comebacks all the damn time Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 But my wife was incredibly turned on when I returned from being with the other woman. She was particularly turned on by the smell and performed oral. I'm not being judgemental about this but all I could think when I read this was just EWWWWWW!!! Link to post Share on other sites
P_Spahr Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 ShareHer - Thank you for starting this thread and your articulate posts. My wife and I have both had other sex partners during our 12 year marriage. She likes to watch and sometimes participate (she's bi with the right woman); I sometimes watch, but always like knowing and hearing about her getting some variety. In response to a previous comment, "I think it's safe to say most people would like to have the best of both worlds..." You replied, "Well, that's what I thought too when I originally started this thread. I asked the same question of women on a stay-at-home-moms site and got very different answers than here." Link to post Share on other sites
dixieman Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 dixieman quote:But my wife was incredibly turned on when I returned from being with the other woman. She was particularly turned on by the smell and performed oral. Vivian quote: I'm not being judgemental about this but all I could think when I read this was just EWWWWWW!!! All I can say is that from a man's point of view, I myself like the taste and smell, and my wife hints at bi tendancies so maybe that explains it. The motivator for her is the jealousy, it drove her crazy when she would set it up and send me out, but the satisfaction she got when I came home and she "reclaimed" me made it worthwhile for her. It will be interesting if we do find a woman that lets her watch - I don't think she could just sit there. But I do agree with you, if another man were to have my wife I wouldn't be interested in playing in it afterwards the way she wants to. Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 Originally posted by dixieman dixieman quote:But my wife was incredibly turned on when I returned from being with the other woman. She was particularly turned on by the smell and performed oral. Vivian quote: I'm not being judgemental about this but all I could think when I read this was just EWWWWWW!!! All I can say is that from a man's point of view, I myself like the taste and smell, and my wife hints at bi tendancies so maybe that explains it. The motivator for her is the jealousy, it drove her crazy when she would set it up and send me out, but the satisfaction she got when I came home and she "reclaimed" me made it worthwhile for her. It will be interesting if we do find a woman that lets her watch - I don't think she could just sit there. But I do agree with you, if another man were to have my wife I wouldn't be interested in playing in it afterwards the way she wants to. Okay...thanks for not being "put out" by my statement....after reading LS and this thread, I truly realize that people get turned on by soooo many different things, yours wasn't any over the top than others just being a female and apparently not bi-curious, it made me feel a little icky! Link to post Share on other sites
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