Sid6.7 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I take issue with any female that thinks a man should pay money for the company of a female. What does this really tell us? We live in a different era, and if we are going to go by that stereotype in this day and age I guess you could also say woman's place is in the kitchen. That doesn't see fair does it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 This topic is never-ending on LS, where real life doesn't reflect the obsession with nickels and dimes. Dating is so simple. If you're dating someone who has different views about money, don't date them. If you can't afford to pay, you can either split the bill or ensure that dates are inexpensive ones. Absolutely. The degree to which this dead horse is beaten, dragged, and pummeled in LS is incredibly amusing in the context of real life. If such a simple and minor issue occupies so much time and real estate in some LSers' minds, no wonder there is no space left to consider the aspects of relationships that are genuinely important. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Well, I guess we can apply the same logic to women's concern about being used for sex. If a woman would not sleep with you on the first date because being used for sex is a top priority in her mind, I would not want to date her anyway...seems like awfully damaged thinking to me. And if she is regularly getting used for sex, she should reexamine the kind of men she's attracted to I agree with your POINT, but not where you go with it. If a woman is on a date and is focusing on whether she's being used rather than enjoying getting to know someone, you are right - damaged thinking. BUT that obviously doesn't mean that in order to prove she's not worrying about it, she must sleep with him immediately. LOL If someone is worrying more about being used/dumped/lied to than getting to know someone, they have personal work they need to do before they are ready to date. Dating should be approached with HOPE... if you are approaching it with FEAR, that is not good. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I take issue with any female that thinks a man should pay money for the company of a female. What does this really tell us? We live in a different era, and if we are going to go by that stereotype in this day and age I guess you could also say woman's place is in the kitchen. That doesn't see fair does it? I am older than a lot of the posters here, so I will admit my views may be a bit old-fashioned. I don't see it as a stereotype though. It's just a preference. I am sure there are men who prefer their women in the kitchen too, and there are women out there who would LOVE to be a stay-at-home mom caring for their house and children. I see no issue with either, as long as all parties agree. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Absolutely. The degree to which this dead horse is beaten, dragged, and pummeled in LS is incredibly amusing in the context of real life. If such a simple and minor issue occupies so much time and real estate in some LSers' minds, no wonder there is no space left to consider the aspects of relationships that are genuinely important.Seriously. Such a no-brainer petty issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I agree with your POINT, but not where you go with it. If a woman is on a date and is focusing on whether she's being used rather than enjoying getting to know someone, you are right - damaged thinking. BUT that obviously doesn't mean that in order to prove she's not worrying about it, she must sleep with him immediately. LOL So why not sleep with him on the first date if you feel the connection? After all, dating is supposed to be approached with HOPE (were you quoting Obama there? ) Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I seriously don't care who pays. As long as neither feel like their taken advantage of. I find each partner should contribute. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 So why not sleep with him on the first date if you feel the connection? After all, dating is supposed to be approached with HOPE (were you quoting Obama there? ) LOL. Sure. Hope and change, baby. I have no issues with people sleeping together on the first date, if that's what they want to do. I only have issues with someone feeling like they SHOULD sleep with someone on the first date in order to prove something. If both people are feeling it and the date goes there, whatever! BUT - sometimes sleeping together too soon gets in the way of getting to know the rest of a person, and you end up with someone who is compatible sexually, but makes the rest of your life miserable. Not that I know anything about that or anything. Cough cough. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Mine won't be the popular opinion (as usual!) but I think a guy should pay for dates. I like the feeling of being taken care of by a man, and it makes me feel special. I agree with this post 100%. I feel the exact same way. Then how do you take care of the man? You at least give him a BJ at the end of the day right? Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Absolutely. The degree to which this dead horse is beaten, dragged, and pummeled in LS is incredibly amusing in the context of real life. If such a simple and minor issue occupies so much time and real estate in some LSers' minds, no wonder there is no space left to consider the aspects of relationships that are genuinely important. They called the above "Let them eat cake" when Marie Antoinette said it (or something similarly dismissive), just a modernized version. It's interesting that it's always women who post about this issue being a dead horse when it doesn't even affect them other than favorably. This issue costs a lot of men a lot of money, pay or be slandered, and signals very clearly that women aren't equal, or rather view equality as a cafeteria plan where they pick and choose what is favorable to them and exclude what is not. That's not equality, that's making allowances for a true "weak sex." What's it like to be the weak sex, ladies? Wonder what the response would have been were females seeking the vote after the Civil War told, "we are so tired of hearing this, it just isn't a big deal IRL and you are all just beating a dead horse?" Somehow all issues that affect women turn out to be a big deal and no issues that affect men are. Funny how that works here on LS and elswhere. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I am older than a lot of the posters here, so I will admit my views may be a bit old-fashioned. For an older person like yourself, it's okay to have such views. You are a product of a different era and you were raised differently. The problem is when younger women like Frustrated Standard try to pretend that 1950's style dating etiquette is still the norm (which it most certainly is NOT). Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Then how do you take care of the man? You at least give him a BJ at the end of the day right? On a first date? Not likely. But once the relationship goes there, sure. Or more. Paying for a date isn't about "I did this for you; now you do this for me" though. It's about being a gentleman; showing respect; courting; wooing; whatever you want to call it. Like I said - I'm older... I know my opinion isn't the popular one. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 What's it like to be the weak sex, ladies? It's awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 If I invite...I pay. That being said. I think a good woman will offer to help pay for dates after the first few if she can. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Paying for a date isn't about "I did this for you; now you do this for me" though. It's exactly what it's about. It's about being a gentleman; showing respect; courting; wooing; whatever you want to call it. Like I said - I'm older... I know my opinion isn't the popular one. I understand if you are old enough to come from a generation where women didn't work. But if a woman has a job, why the hell should a man pay for everything? What does he get out of it? The pleasure of being in her company? Then there is the tired belief that the person who asks out is the one should pay. That would be great if men didn't do 99% of the asking out. Why do women expect to be able to sit back and just let things happen to them? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 creature LOL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Ah Masha, I like your style. Well... I'll be frank... Until I joined LS I never gave a second thought to who paid on dates. I always offer to pay my share, and if he pays for dinner, I'll try to swing the next part of the date or something on the next date. If, however, he insists on paying, I say a heartfelt thank you. To be honest, I do enjoy when a man insists on paying (flashback to fond memories of last night's date:love:). I can't really figure out why. I think, to me, it makes them even more manly. (And I realize that's problematic, but go ahead guys, tear me apart ). Link to post Share on other sites
DjinnAgain Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I bring money to pay, but unless it was discussed in advance, a guy would lose serious points for not paying. I am perfectly happy with free or cheap dates, though! Go for a walk around a park, a picnic, whatever. Inviting a girl out to dinner, finding a place, and not paying suggest no imagination and no manners! (Most the guys I personally know say they always at least try to pay for girls they are really into - less so if they are in the fence. I take that to heart.) Link to post Share on other sites
DjinnAgain Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Why do women expect to be able to sit back and just let things happen to them? Moot point. It does. Not very hard to date and find the type of man that has similar views to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I don't mind women who have old fashioned views but more often they are only old fashioned when it works to their advantage. Say what you want about the old school career women from back in the day but at least they were consistent about things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sid6.7 Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I am older than a lot of the posters here, so I will admit my views may be a bit old-fashioned. I don't see it as a stereotype though. It's just a preference. I am sure there are men who prefer their women in the kitchen too, and there are women out there who would LOVE to be a stay-at-home mom caring for their house and children. I see no issue with either, as long as all parties agree. I am speaking in regards to dates or initial dates. Which, I think the OP was referring to as well. Not children or possibly marriage at this point. <on soap box now> See, this is what some women think when they are on a date with a man. The thoughts that go through their mind is astounding! Things such as: I wonder if he has a good job, I wonder if he will be a good provider, I wonder if he has a good credit score, I wonder if he is marriage material. I could go on and on. Most men on a date are just wondering about the current transaction at hand. When am I going to get laid? Let's be honest. Dating = Sex. So, you have these men that are chumps that will dish out an entire weeks paycheck on a date thinking this will get them laid. They think by paying for a date this will give them a shoe in. Oh, I'm in like Flynn, they'll say. Of course this does not guarantee a damn thing does it? But there are men out there that are willing to pay for the company of a female and some women take full advantage of it. I don't know about you but I work hard for my money and I have learned over time this entire dating payment system is a ruse. It's antiquated. Instead I have come up with creative and clever ways to date that don't require me to spend much money at all. I refuse to be the chump that spends hard earned money on a date with no return on investment. I don't spend money unless I am getting something in return. Much like many people out there when they spend their hard earned money. Two week ago, spent 2.75 on an ice cream cone. Guess what? She appreciated the fact that i didn't try to lavish her with boring dinners and the movie routine (and for the curious men out there, yes we did). And this is not the first time I have heard this. There is no reason for a man to spend an absorbent amount of money on a female during a date. None! Why would men be dumb enough to do such a thing? </off soapbox> Sorry, haha had to get that out. Phew! Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Why do some women expect to be able to sit back and just let things happen to them? Fixed this for you. The answer is: Because it happens, for those women. Positive feedback and conditioning. Who do you think is responsible for that? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I don't believe women are inferior but people will take what is given to them. If society gave every man 100 dollars a week just for being male not many men would turn it down and men would get angry if a new leader got elected that tried to end the practice. With so many men out there willing to drain their wallets for a woman's time some women have come to expect it and feel entitled to it. This attitude is a product of society and not biology. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FrustratedStandards Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Then how do you take care of the man? You at least give him a BJ at the end of the day right? If we are in a relationship at this point, then definitely! You repay by cooking for him, taking care of him in other ways (maintaining the place if you live together, cook him meals) and of course, sex. For the record, BJ's can be given any time of day 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Just so the guys know. There are women out there who will buy a man dinner or a few drinks just because they enjoy his company. Link to post Share on other sites
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