Author 96nole Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 Essentially they are not the same person. Their values change the minute that they enter into the affair and therefore, many other attitude changes occur as well. Plus, it sounds like her cheerleader parasite of a boyfriend is probably chiding in with his two cents which doesn't help. The fighting over "pots and pans" just makes the lawyers that much richer and you guys just come out on the short end of things. Save your energy. For what you're paying your attorney in one hour you can probably replace the TV easy enough. Oh I'm very sure he is. He did a great job demonizing me and making himself look like the hero. Now she thinks the sun shines out of his ass. She'll believe anything he says. Last year she wasn't sure who to believe, him or my mother, when we told her the story of the dirtbag chasing after my mothers car giving the "up your ass" symbol. He told her he didn't do that and that we were lying to her. She seriously didn't know who to believe. My mother who treated her like a daughter for 15 years or some dirtbag she knew for a few months and was trying to get into her pants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 96nole Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 TigerCub, you're a little bit animated in this posting! The Tiger has been released!!!:laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I couldn't help it Her actions angered me so much. Isn't it enough what she's done to him, but to sink even lower and just try these silly trashy antics - Gosh! I would so want to do somethin illegal to her if it were me, and I'm so glad that 96 is a lot more rational and mature. So true!! You're much more than a TigerCub. You're more like a Tigress protecting her cubs when you're angry. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 You're much more than a TigerCub. You're more like a Tigress protecting her cubs when you're angry. Why is that a bad thing? Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Oh I'm very sure he is. He did a great job demonizing me and making himself look like the hero. Now she thinks the sun shines out of his ass. She'll believe anything he says. Last year she wasn't sure who to believe, him or my mother, when we told her the story of the dirtbag chasing after my mothers car giving the "up your ass" symbol. He told her he didn't do that and that we were lying to her. She seriously didn't know who to believe. My mother who treated her like a daughter for 15 years or some dirtbag she knew for a few months and was trying to get into her pants. People can only hide their true colors for so long. My guess is he will enjoy this little romp with your soon to be ex and mooch what he can off of her, and then he'll meet some little race-car groopy and be done with your ex or cheat on her until she finds out. Right now she's living the life thinking that it's all going to be downhill as soon as the divorce is behind her. Don't be surprised if she doesn't try reaching out to you when it all blows up on her. I've seen it happen many times. And when they do, the rewritten history begins all over again . . . but from an angle 180 degrees opposite of the first rewritten history. That's when she'll blame the other man for brainwashing her and making her believe things that weren't true about her "wonderful husband." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Why is that a bad thing? Oh it's a good thing . . . as long as I'm wise enough to stay on your side. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Oh it's a good thing . . . as long as I'm wise enough to stay on your side. oh, the thumbs down fooled me. hehe, my family, friends and loved ones like the fact that I'll be in their corner and "release" the tiger if need be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 oh, the thumbs down fooled me. hehe, my family, friends and loved ones like the fact that I'll be in their corner and "release" the tiger if need be. And it's good for 96's STBX that you don't have her GPS whereabouts. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Her bitterness is that she is mad. -She's mad that I've thrown her out of the house twice this year. -Mad that I threw her out the second time before she was ready to make her 'move' or what ever she may have been planning. -Mad that I had her served with divorce papers at her work in front of her boss. -Mad that I didn't make it a quiet divorce like SHE wanted -Mad that the divorce papers show she was hiding money, having an extramarital affair and spending money on the dirtbag. Giving the cruise as an example. None of those are good things to have public record when you work for a bank. -Mad that I won't retract those statements from the divorce papers -Mad that mediation didn't go her way. -Mad that she has to give me 40% of her 401K. -Mad that everyone knows what kind of person she has become -Mad that I didn't stay her doormat and do everything the way she wanted it. -Mad that every time she tried to control the situation, I didn't let her. An example was when she told me yesterday that I didn't have to yell at her. She tried to control me. I told her that I was going to yell. That's when she put the dirtbag on the phone and the screaming match began. Well thought out preemptive strategy 96. You forced the issue when she wouldn't come around and recommit herself to the marriage. Eventually everyone ends up there after repeated exhausting attempts to reconcile and make it work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 96nole Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 And it's good for 96's STBX that you don't have her GPS whereabouts. Do you want them? Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Do you want them? I'm sure you'd call in a drone strike on her location if you could and get away with it. Not to worry. Your distaste for her will wane and in time you won't give her a second thought most of the time, and you'll move on with a much better woman at your side. I'm too far away or I'd take you out for a beer 96. So we'll have to settle for a cyber beer instead. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 96nole Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 I couldn't help it Her actions angered me so much. Isn't it enough what she's done to him, but to sink even lower and just try these silly trashy antics - Gosh! I would so want to do somethin illegal to her if it were me, and I'm so glad that 96 is a lot more rational and mature. In all honesty, it boils down to I don't want to go to jail. That's why I didn't crash his skull in last year. And I didn't this year. As mad and ready I have been to take matters into my own hands, neither of them are worth jail time. And I know if I get my hands on him, I won't stop. So I just have to eat all of this sh*t. I have to eat what he puts on facebook. I have to eat him calling me a p*ssy on the phone. That I'm not man enough to say anything to his face. But he's the one that lives with mommy. He's the one that backed down when I threatened him last year. He's the one that drove past me a few weeks ago with the whore in his truck and then tried to drive away as fast as possible. He's the one that hides behind facebook. I'm not completely rational and mature, but I don't want to go to jail Link to post Share on other sites
Author 96nole Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 I'm sure you'd call in a drone strike on her location if you could and get away with it. Yes I would!!!:laugh: I'm too far away or I'd take you out for a beer 96. So we'll have to settle for a cyber beer instead. Clink. Cheers. Here's to better times with better women. Well you already have your better woman. Congrats! Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 In all honesty, it boils down to I don't want to go to jail. That's why I didn't crash his skull in last year. And I didn't this year. As mad and ready I have been to take matters into my own hands, neither of them are worth jail time. And I know if I get my hands on him, I won't stop. So I just have to eat all of this sh*t. I have to eat what he puts on facebook. I have to eat him calling me a p*ssy on the phone. That I'm not man enough to say anything to his face. But he's the one that lives with mommy. He's the one that backed down when I threatened him last year. He's the one that drove past me a few weeks ago with the whore in his truck and then tried to drive away as fast as possible. He's the one that hides behind facebook. I'm not completely rational and mature, but I don't want to go to jail Good call 96. Look, you're human. We all feel that way. It doesn't make you any less rational or mature. I was in the same boat years ago. Actually breaking him into two would have been far too easy. Unlike you're OM who was shooting his mouth off at you, when I got my OM on the phone his voice was shaking and he said "I know you can kick my @ss" and he was right, but like you, I probably wouldn't have stopped myself and I knew that . . . Besides, I would have lost even more than you because it would have most definitely effected my career as well. When the affair was over (all two weeks of it) she admitted that he couldn't perform (the one time they gave it a try after I packed her bags and kicked her out) and that was a couple days after I spoke to him on the phone. I chose my words carefully, but left him with the impression that I could be unstable and unpredictable and I'm sure all of that was on his mind when he was trying to do the deed. So I did take some pleasure in knowing that I was in his head when he was attempting to be the stud. What you'll realize later on is what I realized. You just won't care as your life moves on and she becomes someone of little importance. Then you'll be extremely glad you didn't do something stupid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 In all honesty, it boils down to I don't want to go to jail. That's why I didn't crash his skull in last year. And I didn't this year. As mad and ready I have been to take matters into my own hands, neither of them are worth jail time. And I know if I get my hands on him, I won't stop. So I just have to eat all of this sh*t. I have to eat what he puts on facebook. I have to eat him calling me a p*ssy on the phone. That I'm not man enough to say anything to his face. But he's the one that lives with mommy. He's the one that backed down when I threatened him last year. He's the one that drove past me a few weeks ago with the whore in his truck and then tried to drive away as fast as possible. He's the one that hides behind facebook. I'm not completely rational and mature, but I don't want to go to jail The funny thing is - I think I would have acted exactly like you did. It is better to come out the classy one at the end and not stoop to their level. I dunno what it is in me though, I forget all that when I see something happening to someone I care about, and I'd be all ready to throw down for them, I probably wouldn't let it get to that point if it was just about me directly though - weird eh?... Honestly though, I don't think anyone can ever really tell what they would do in these situations until they are in them - and its unfortunate that you had to find out at all - but good for you for being rational (knowing they aren't worth a criminal record), being class and being strong. I truly do applaud you Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Do you want them? hehe, I have been meaning to see Florida - but not their prisons - so I'll have to give this some thought Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Yes I would!!!:laugh: Clink. Cheers. Here's to better times with better women. Well you already have your better woman. Congrats! You'll be joining me in the "better women" category soon enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I dunno what it is in me though, I forget all that when I see something happening to someone I care about, and I'd be all ready to throw down for them, I probably wouldn't let it get to that point if it was just about me directly though - weird eh?... Okay, Tiger is officially scaring me now. She's even tossing around street vernacular like "throw down." Not a woman to toy with I'm guessing. Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 just don't let this experience sour you on all women...most are not like your wife...there are lots of good ones out there Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Okay, Tiger is officially scaring me now. She's even tossing around street vernacular like "throw down." Not a woman to toy with I'm guessing. haha - To be more proper I should have said "Oh my, oh yes, I would be willing to cause a ruckus defending or standing up for the ones I care about" I'm actually a very feminine gal, I'm just "cursed" with fierce loyalty and a very short fuse Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Well 96, I hope you are feeling better today. I think your STBXW might be slowly starting to realize that she screwed up...and that is why she is reacting so angrily toward you now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 96nole Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 I'm actually a very feminine gal, I'm just "cursed" with fierce loyalty and a very short fuse OK. Now I'm turned on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 96nole Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 Well 96, I hope you are feeling better today. I think your STBXW might be slowly starting to realize that she screwed up...and that is why she is reacting so angrily toward you now. Actually, I think my sister nailed it tonight, she said the ex is becoming ghetto. If she was realizing she screwed up, she wouldn't have been with him when I called, she wouldn't have been so slimy when she was trying to imply that someone else could have taken the TV, and she wouldn't have stomped on my dead grandmothers sweater. The ex used to proudly wear that sweater since my grandmother died last year. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 96nole Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 just don't let this experience sour you on all women...most are not like your wife...there are lots of good ones out there Don't worry. I know. Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I'm sorry you are going through this and you certainly have every right to yell, stomp, and verbalize whatever anger you may be feeling. Certainly no one has any right to control you or tell you how to feel. But I just wanted to say this: The angrier, the more reactive you are, the more you will fuel the affair dynamic where the horns continue to sit on your head, and the halo on his. And that bonds people to have a common enemy -- you. I know that you are heading towards divorce and probably and rightfully don't give a damn. But if you stay cool, calm, collected, secure, confident and sometimes almost rational and kind.....that, more than anything else will take the wind right out of their sails. If there is adversity, and there is always adversity during a divorce, the common deflection of "Oh no, my lawyer said that is not in my best interests...." and leave it at that. If you really WANT to make your x crazy, be really, really happy if she should call. Ask, how is so and so? I know we got off to a bad start, but I really loved you so it was hard to be civil to him. I'm sure he must be a nice guy cuz you love him, right? I hope all works out for you two. Gotta go." In other words, if you do not take the bait to anger you, if you act as if your life is amazing as soon as this pesky legal matter is taken care of; if you wish her happiness with her choice and assure her that you will do whatever the law requires of you and whatever your lawyer advises you to, no more, no less....gotta go, buh-bye.... Your nice demeanor and apparent kindness....will DRIVE THEM ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. You have a choice here. You've always had a choice on how to act. People will try to whip you into a frenzy of anger during divorce. You have every right to those feelings. BUT you do not have to show them. Take the high rode. Live your life as if you are so over her and her schmo. Be kind to them, but stick to your guns. Blame the lawyer. It will confound them. And it will give them the most important thing they have now to bind over: You, the big, mean, stbxbs! Just some strategy for you to consider. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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