Do men avoid settling as women get older?

[Shaun-Dro]

Men don't make it harder on you just as women didn't make it harder on me when I had little money. The dating market is what it is. No one is saying you should have married anyone. However, don't complain if you chose to forgo proposals during the prime marriage years and now it is more difficult for you. It is like complaining that you chose to pass up a great job when the economy was good to travel and now you can't find one half as good. No one says that you must take that job, but you can't blame the economy for your decision.

 

Sanman gave you the best, most modest reply you're going to get on here OP so run with it.

 

Since you're 35, believe it or not, you still have some time, but do try your damnest to avoid that dreadful 40 though, because then it will look nearly impossible to snag that now-elusive flashy ring.

[musemaj11]

You are right. Older women are whiney and suck. You win the debate due to your superior male reading comprehension and logic. I am an idiot and women are users and weak. There is nothing more to add to this thread. Since you are the thread champion and all women, excuse me--Ameriacan women are users, and have a specific sell by date. There is really nothing more to say anymore on this topic. In all actuality it has exhausted itself. No one will change.

 

Oh there I go being an emotional, whiney, stupid, old women again. Oh well.

Your words, not mine.

 

I have a lot of friends in their mid 30s and above who are single and they are having the same problems. First of all, when you're past 33, men know that women above this age would be very very comfortable in their own skin and are set in their own ways. Guys are more likely to want to build a family with a girl in her 20s as compared to a girl in her 30s because it's easier to compromise in the relationship. Also when a woman is in her 30s, it's just not so exciting anymore unless you get a guy in his 40s or 50s.

Get off your fantasy island.

 

I am 44 and I am not miss america by any means but I go to the gym 5 days a week, and many people who meet me, don't think I look my age at all. With that being said, I sympathize with you because it seems the only thing men offer me is a fling. They dont want anything serious and because of that I have remained single for many years.

Would you marry a guy who makes minimum wage and needs you to help him provide for himself?

 

Im asking this because on the other hand a lot of men are willing to bear such burden in exchange for a woman's youth and beauty.

 

Men who got divorced because their wife had kids and let herself go and/or had no time for them, no interest in sex, think they are hot **** getting a younger, attractive woman. Arm candy. The joke is on them most of the time because these women quickly become pregnant when they find a man with a steady income. They let themselves go, lose interest in sex and have no time for them either, but the man is too broke from the first divorce to leave. Women have the last laugh.

If being young and attractive is all you need, why don't majority of people marry in their 20s anymore?

If being young and attractive is all you need, why can't I find someone who wants more than sex? Why haven't I been married yet?

I wouldn't have minded getting married in my 20s either, but I had no luck. So where are all these relationship-/married-minded guys in their 20s? I think it's a myth because in my opinion 90 % of men in their 20s wanna party, drink, f*** and live the fratboy lifestyle. So I think it's just something men like to tell women out of hurt feelings. "You should've gotten married when you were in your 20s cos now you're too old and now finally us guys who you rejected back then are having the upper hand, har har."

Over the past couple decades, more and more men of the newer generations have learned that for a man, marriage leads to more disadvantages than advantages.

 

Marriage for a man: Committing forever your continually growing financial investment on a single woman who will only get older and uglier with time, losing half your assets in the event of a breakdown of the marriage, confined to having sex with only one woman for the rest of your life.

 

You think the average woman out there would take a beautiful 21 year old man who was a nobody over let's say the president of the united states??

 

You think the average man out there would take Hilary Clinton (if she was the president) over a perfect looking 21 year old babe??

 

that's pretty much all you need to know - men will always be judged on status and women will always be judged on beauty

Talking logic with women is often a waste of breath.

 

 

Women basically get screwed over no matter what age. If they are young and beautiful enough during their 20s, they get tons of attention only because of that, but it's no real commitment, just being used as a trophy.

No different than women being attracted to a man with a good, steady job. Its no real commitment either by the same logic.

 

You're asking her to be sympathetic without being sympathetic yourself. What shy guys see are PARTICULAR women getting hit on.... not every woman has that experience. It sounds like Disenchanted gets hit on unevenly.

 

Me myself, I don't get hit on AT ALL. And yet guys seem to completely ignore our (girls like me) experiences. Why? Probably because they don't notice the girls that AREN'T getting hit on, because the girls that aren't getting hit on aren't gorgeous. And isn't that just a bit hypocritical... that shy guys complain that women don't notice them, when they themselves are ignoring all the women who aren't attractive enough to get hit on.

Are you complaining that you dont get to simply sit pretty while having guys flocking to you like the hot girls?

 

Except I HAVE. How the heck do you think I ever end up in relationships... the ONLY way I get a boyfriend is by being the one to make the first move.

 

And guess what? The guy dates me, but never really wants me, and is dating me purely because hey why not, no better prospects, she initiated, etc.... but always ends up dumping me some handful of months later for the hotter girl.

 

Do I get to be part of the club yet?

At least you know how it feels to be a man.

 

This is an insightful thread, but sorry to burst your bubble with this pointy needle: it's unfair for good men to sit there and wait for women to decline physically, finish letting scumbags bang her and dust herself off before she decides that it's time to give the better man a shot. Not gonna happen.

That man is a really great example of men of the doormat generation of old.

 

My own attitude about my looks was not the point. The point was that dating ISN'T easy for women. You actually illustrate a perfect example... The attitude I and Disenchanted were criticizing is that if a woman is attractive, then all she needs to do is sit back and guys will come to her, but they'll all be players, and she's ignoring the shy/good guys, etc. Except THEN you say that the reason I'm NOT getting hit on is because of my "good looks!"

 

In other words, a shy guy should recognize that dating ISN'T easy for women, especially as a lot of women DON'T get hit on.

Getting hit on all the time by players is a lot better than not getting hit on at all. At least you know that you are attractive enough to have men approaching you and you know that your looks are not the problem.

[Aryanna]

These endless threads always seem to happen when most posters can't conceive of any experience outside their own. I guess it's natural, but it sure makes relationships difficult.

 

As to the OP, I think you shouldn't let statistics bother you. That being said, knowing the realities of society is a useful tool to help you overcome any limitations you might have. Knowing that many men are looking for younger women to start families is useful. It's useful because:

 

-you now know you have to offer more than your looks

-you now know that men are wary of 30-something women looking to settle down so you can play it cool when you're getting to know them

-you now know that men who value women based only on their age won't be interested in you. This is a good thing.

-it's good to know your "market" so you can learn how to appeal to it.

-you don't have to appeal to 95 percent of the male population. You only need a few good men who are interested. Since you seem to have a lot going for you, this shouldn't be too difficult, although it might take some time. It also helps to be open-minded.

 

Since everyone seems fixated on their own experiences, let me tell you about mine. I found myself widowed at 37 after 12 years of marriage and started dating about 18 months after that. By all statistical accounts, I should have been unsuccessful. I was "old," widowed (a huge red flag for many men), I'm tall, pretty average in looks and I have short hair. These things probably disqualified me to most men in my age group. Fortunately, I didn't know this, and went on my merry way.

 

Frankly, I was shocked at how many men I met who were interested in starting (or re-starting) families. At the time, that was the last thing I wanted, and I have a feeling my lack of interest in that made me more interesting to them.

 

Since I wasn't looking for anything in particular, I flung my net wide and figured I'd meet a bunch of different people. It was a lot of fun! I met mostly really great guys. I felt really confident and much more attractive than I'd been at 21. I had conquered some serious adversity, I'd learned who I was, and had figured out how to live my life to maximum effect. My enthusiasm was apparently, contagious.

 

After nine months of dating around, I contacted a guy I'd met on a dating site forum, we met a few weeks later, and three years later, we're planning our wedding. He's nearly five years younger. Age never entered into any of our calculations. We both have what some people would call baggage, but because both of us have learned how to deal with it, we've become better, stronger and have learned a lot about being in relationships. We have common values and goals and are building a great life together. This is only possible if you aren't fixated on externalities (although we are crazy-attracted to each other) and aren't bitter about how the opposite sex has "done you wrong."

 

 

You are still young and attractive enough to appeal to a great many men; just make sure your personality is lovely too. Fling your net wide- don't just go for doctors. There are lots of other types of men out there. If you always go for a specific type with no luck, try something else.

 

 

Good luck!

[Emilia]

These endless threads always seem to happen when most posters can't conceive of any experience outside their own. I guess it's natural, but it sure makes relationships difficult.

 

As to the OP, I think you shouldn't let statistics bother you. That being said, knowing the realities of society is a useful tool to help you overcome any limitations you might have. Knowing that many men are looking for younger women to start families is useful. It's useful because:

 

-you now know you have to offer more than your looks

-you now know that men are wary of 30-something women looking to settle down so you can play it cool when you're getting to know them

-you now know that men who value women based only on their age won't be interested in you. This is a good thing.

-it's good to know your "market" so you can learn how to appeal to it.

-you don't have to appeal to 95 percent of the male population. You only need a few good men who are interested. Since you seem to have a lot going for you, this shouldn't be too difficult, although it might take some time. It also helps to be open-minded.

 

Since everyone seems fixated on their own experiences, let me tell you about mine. I found myself widowed at 37 after 12 years of marriage and started dating about 18 months after that. By all statistical accounts, I should have been unsuccessful. I was "old," widowed (a huge red flag for many men), I'm tall, pretty average in looks and I have short hair. These things probably disqualified me to most men in my age group. Fortunately, I didn't know this, and went on my merry way.

 

Frankly, I was shocked at how many men I met who were interested in starting (or re-starting) families. At the time, that was the last thing I wanted, and I have a feeling my lack of interest in that made me more interesting to them.

 

Since I wasn't looking for anything in particular, I flung my net wide and figured I'd meet a bunch of different people. It was a lot of fun! I met mostly really great guys. I felt really confident and much more attractive than I'd been at 21. I had conquered some serious adversity, I'd learned who I was, and had figured out how to live my life to maximum effect. My enthusiasm was apparently, contagious.

 

After nine months of dating around, I contacted a guy I'd met on a dating site forum, we met a few weeks later, and three years later, we're planning our wedding. He's nearly five years younger. Age never entered into any of our calculations. We both have what some people would call baggage, but because both of us have learned how to deal with it, we've become better, stronger and have learned a lot about being in relationships. We have common values and goals and are building a great life together. This is only possible if you aren't fixated on externalities (although we are crazy-attracted to each other) and aren't bitter about how the opposite sex has "done you wrong."

 

 

You are still young and attractive enough to appeal to a great many men; just make sure your personality is lovely too. Fling your net wide- don't just go for doctors. There are lots of other types of men out there. If you always go for a specific type with no luck, try something else.

 

 

Good luck!

 

Very good post.

 

Look at some of the male posters that keep posting here and look at their past posts. Some are really young (they should be ignored, not enough life experiences) one in his late 40s dating some young thai girl (no success with his peers) etc. If you worked with these guys in the office, would you get on with them at all or would you avoid them at all costs? They have a voice on the internet, do they have a voice in real life?

 

Now that said I don't believe age is just a number either but the above post is a great one, sums it all up so well it saves me the trouble.

[ascendotum]

This is an insightful thread, but sorry to burst your bubble with this pointy needle: it's unfair for good men to sit there and wait for women to decline physically, finish letting scumbags bang her and dust herself off before she decides that it's time to give the better man a shot. Not gonna happen.

 

Yukon’s post was pretty good, as regards companionship, shared pastimes but for many mid-30s male, sexual desire is still right up there (along with those) in priorities. There's plenty of years to come for the hand holding + walks on the beach + raising children. Looks fade for everyone, but there are quite a few guys (not all) that want the relationship that’s going to last a lifetime to start out with lust, then the love then the devotion. They also want to enjoy some carefree footloose, years with their wife before the responsibility of raising a family comes on.

While his last paragraph, was meant to boost the spirits of nice guys, I don't know how many will be warmed by the sentiments that they will be appreciated more when the woman is older and matured from her earlier experiences with other guys when she was young & adventurous. Just do a random survey of 100 guys and ask them which would they prefer, to be a big hit with women when they're in their teens, 20s & 30s, when they are young but have poor success when older, or to have poor success when young and be a big hit with women in their 40s, 50s & 60s when they are older themselves. If one answer didn't outstrip the other by a factor 20, I'd be surprised. I'm not being a prick here, just realist, and I would not expect the responses from a 100 women to differ much, it just wont be with the same level of conviction as it would for men, imo.

I also thought Sanman's last post was a pretty succinct wrap up to the OPs situation as well.

[123321]

Thank u so much! Why does this thread feel like a men vs. women issue and not about the root of the problem, which is that men make it harder on a woman once she reaches 30 and over.

 

It's not the fault of men, it's just the way life is.

 

 

 

I want you guys to stop the ageist nonsense I'm seeing in here. We dont do that crap to you so why do it to us?

 

I also don't appreciate comments on how I should've just married up when I was given offers back then. I was settling into my career at the time so why should I grab up the first bachelor that approaches with a flashy ring?

 

Well so what was your question? I mean, you asked right? Now the answers don't suit you and it's our fault?

 

 

 

Look at some of the male posters that keep posting here and look at their past posts. Some are really young (they should be ignored, not enough life experiences) one in his late 40s dating some young thai girl (no success with his peers) etc.

 

Well I've dated from 17 years older to 25 younger, was married almost 20 years, and have been in several multi-year relationships since. No "success with his peers" cracks me up, BTW. Success with "women my age" is defined by not having to depend on them for any sort of LTR situation.

 

 

 

I'm genuinely sorry you are finding it hard to get what you want but it's not my fault (or men in general) and while some of the comments here got a bit spiteful I'e always tried to be detached and simply honest about it.

[thatone]

 

Frankly, I was shocked at how many men I met who were interested in starting (or re-starting) families. At the time, that was the last thing I wanted, and I have a feeling my lack of interest in that made me more interesting to them.

 

 

that's not too far off. people who marry in their 20s i can see being all for the idea of kids/family. the kids will be grown before they're 50, so they still have good years to enjoy approaching retirement age.

 

in my mid 30s? i'm a lot more leery of the idea of children the older i get, and i'm sure it'll be moreso as i get into my 40s. i'm not too big on the idea of having a 20 year old just moving out of the house when i'm 55-60.

[Easyguy14]

Thank u so much! Why does this thread feel like a men vs. women issue and not about the root of the problem, which is that men make it harder on a woman once she reaches 30 and over.

 

I've read some posts on here and while some seemed honest to a degree, others were downright sexist, ageist, and just insulting

 

I cant remember all the names in here but a few guys claimed that a lady is worthless unless she has youth and beauty? Get real! Looks fade for all people in time. The only thing that remains is a good heart. To me that's what counts. I have all of that and then some, clear?

 

I want you guys to stop the ageist nonsense I'm seeing in here. We dont do that crap to you so why do it to us?

 

I also don't appreciate comments on how I should've just married up when I was given offers back then. I was settling into my career at the time so why should I grab up the first bachelor that approaches with a flashy ring?

 

I have no clue how this thread turned so popular; over 600 replies? wow I say lol. anyway I kind of feel you blew some good opportunities when you had the chance. only naturally will there be a decrease in options now for there was much more when you were in your 20s. I think you should marry up instead of looking down the age ladder. older men in their 40s and 50s would be delighted to take out a 30+ blonde in good shape. like I said way back when, I'd like to take you out as well.

[Negative Nancy]

It's not the fault of men, it's just the way life is.

 

vonErik, is that you?

[Metis]

Febreze: you can't put a sock in every mouth. Some people just have a problem with the opposite sex, some can't look beyond their personal experience, some engage in a lot of wishful thinking (hint, guys: being a 40-year-old man doesn't make you a 40-year-old movie star). Forget them, and just live on your own terms.

 

You don't have to get married, if that's not what you want. Above all, don't get married just because a bunch of idiots are screaming that you MUST!! GET!! MARRIED!! NOW!! to any man, on any terms, or it will be "too late". Being never married is not the end of the world. What are you missing besides a shiny ring, anyway? Lots of extra cleaning, laundry, looking after a man-child, and having to answer for your spending -- there isn't much besides. Marriage isn't the alpha and omega of a woman's existence (and even my grandmother, who lived through "the good old days" says that).

 

As for what men like -- men who have a good head on their shoulders know that each age bracket presents its own set of complications. Women in their 20's are generally better looking than women in their 30's and have more energy and better health. But they also tend to have less money and more debt (thus making it necessary for an older husband to support his wife and pay off her student loans), while combining his income with that of an older wife can allow for more luxuries and leisure. For a man who does NOT want to have children, marrying a woman of prime child bearing age (even if she says NOW that she doesn't want kids either) is potentially very problematic, and smart men realize this. So each age bracket has its own set of advantages and disadvantages.

 

Finally, if you discard the idea that a woman MUST get married or her life is a total waste, it actually makes eminent sense that women's expectations get higher with age. After all, marriage represents an overhaul. The older you are, the more and more set in your ways, the higher the stakes become in undergoing such a huge upheaval. It's much easier to jump into marriage at 23, when you have nothing to lose, than at 38, when you have certain habits and are used to not answering to anyone. It makes sense for a woman at that point to decide that she won't get married unless a really special guy comes along.

[The Way I Am]

Holy crap! I only got a couple pages in before I decided not to read any more of that unhealthy garbage.

 

Reading all those answers, I really feel bad for you, Febreze. I hardly had the slightest worry about being "too old", and this thread almost gave ME a complex. I can imagine how bad it might have made you feel when you were already worrying about it.

 

I'll be 30 in a couple months, and I've not had the same experience as you at all. The only time I had guys interested in marriage is when I was 21 and under -- and the guys were too. And while they didn't, I recognized that we were too young to be committed and the relationships were not healthy.

 

From 21 - 27, I didn't have much interest from guys as far as wanting to commit. Most guys I dated then were practically commitment phobic.

 

I still have a lot of guys express interest in me. Quite a few men are clearly only interested in sex, but others are interested in relationships. I don't feel like my options are limited. I feel like I have more options right now that I did 5 years ago. It's simply because my attitude has changed and I get out and am more active socially than when I was younger.

 

When I was 21 -27, (when guys didn't want to to be in a serious relationship) I was more worried about finding someone who wanted to commit to being a boyfriend. For lack of a better word, I was more desperate for companionship. Now I'm focused on enjoying life, and if I find a man to enjoy it with me, all the better.

 

I'm guessing it has to do more with the impression you're giving off than your age. You've gone from enjoying life to desperately (again for lack of better word) looking for a man, because you think you're running out of time. Maybe you ought to try to get back in touch with the part of you that wasn't so concerned about meeting Mr Right and see if things start to look up.

Edited November 9, 2011 by The Way I Am

[Shaun-Dro]

Holy crap! I only got a couple pages in before I decided not to read any more of that unhealthy garbage.

 

Reading all those answers, I really feel bad for you, Febreze. I hardly had the slightest worry about being "too old", and this thread almost gave ME a complex. I can imagine how bad it might have made you feel when you were already worrying about it.

 

I'll be 30 in a couple months, and I've not had the same experience as you at all. The only time I had guys interested in marriage is when I was 21 and under -- and the guys were too. And while they didn't, I recognized that we were too young to be committed and the relationships were not healthy.

 

From 21 - 27, I didn't have much interest from guys as far as wanting to commit. Most guys I dated then were practically commitment phobic.

 

I still have a lot of guys express interest in me. Quite a few men are clearly only interested in sex, but others are interested in relationships. I don't feel like my options are limited. I feel like I have more options right now that I did 5 years ago. It's simply because my attitude has changed and I get out and am more active socially than when I was younger.

 

When I was 21 -27, (when guys didn't want to to be in a serious relationship) I was more worried about finding someone who wanted to commit to being a boyfriend. For lack of a better word, I was more desperate for companionship. Now I'm focused on enjoying life, and if I find a man to enjoy it with me, all the better.

 

I'm guessing it has to do more with the impression you're giving off than your age. You've gone from enjoying life to desperately (again for lack of better word) looking for a man, because you think you're running out of time. Maybe you ought to try to get back in touch with the part of you that wasn't so concerned about meeting Mr Right and see if things start to look up.

 

I applaud your attempt to make the OP feel better, but she knows deep in her heart that everything spewed in here from us honest men is nothing but the truth.

[underpants]

Who cares?

 

Find you own vision true.

 

All that matters.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I applaud your attempt to make the OP feel better, but she knows deep in her heart that everything spewed in here from us honest men is nothing but the truth.

 

That's what Hitler and the Nazi's told the Jews. That they knew the 'truth" about their worth. When really all that was in their hearts was hate and blackness.

 

I sense a lot of hate and blackness in this thread. Liking younger women has nothing to do with a man really liking women. Men that like younger women don't even have that much respect for that younger woman. Because his like of her is only dependent on something she can't even control. His like is based on using her, not really loving her.

[thatone]

Liking younger women has nothing to do with a man really liking women. Men that like younger women don't even have that much respect for that younger woman. Because his like of her is only dependent on something she can't even control. His like is based on using her, not really loving her.

 

that sounds exactly like all of the bitter 20-35 year old male virgins who post on this forum, mind you.

[ThsAmericanLife]

that sounds exactly like all of the bitter 20-35 year old male virgins who post on this forum, mind you.

 

I disagree.

 

I personally believe that people (both men and women) who make a point of dating 'younger' are not looking for compatibility.

 

Since it is usually men who date much younger, I have to believe for them it is usually the fact that they are only propping up their flagging libidos and tenuous egos.

 

I have seen situations where women date younger... but since our culture frowns on it so much, it is usually the case for these couples that they have above average compatibility. It's not an 'age' thing for them.

 

Sure, there is the rare woman out there who routinely hits on much younger men for the same reasons as older men seek out younger women.... but it is pretty rare.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Sanman gave you the best, most modest reply you're going to get on here OP so run with it.

 

Since you're 35, believe it or not, you still have some time, but do try your damnest to avoid that dreadful 40 though, because then it will look nearly impossible to snag that now-elusive flashy ring.

 

Not true..

 

At the ripe old age of 42, I had my choice of two marriage proposals...

 

One to a three time Emmy winning cinematographer... the other to a prominent local politician.

 

I chose the first... and he died of an unknown genetic condition (our bad luck, I guess). The prominent local politician chose someone else to marry after I said no.

 

...but tried many times recently to get me to have an affair with him.

[Anela]

It's not the fault of men, it's just the way life is.

 

It's the fault of a large number of men, if they're making life that way. If they're choosing to take part in it, and then turning around, smirking, and telling women to suck it up, because that's the way life is.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Are we twins? You sound exactly like me.

 

I make the first move so they date me out of convenience not want.

 

Yep, that's been my experience when I made the first move too.

 

I'm not shy... and have no problems whatsoever making the first move for any reason at all except...

 

It doesn't lead to long-term relationships...

 

so, I

 

A forthright, 'equality' minded woman...

 

sit on my hands when I'd rather just make the first move and help us both out...

 

because most men don't REALLY want what they don't pick first.

 

plain and simple.

[Anela]

Yep, that's been my experience when I made the first move too.

 

I'm not shy... and have no problems whatsoever making the first move for any reason at all except...

 

It doesn't lead to long-term relationships...

 

so, I

 

A forthright, 'equality' minded woman...

 

sit on my hands when I'd rather just make the first move and help us both out...

 

because most men don't REALLY want what they don't pick first.

 

plain and simple.

 

Exactly right. That's been my experience, too.

[Anela]

Men don't make it harder on you just as women didn't make it harder on me when I had little money. The dating market is what it is. No one is saying you should have married anyone. However, don't complain if you chose to forgo proposals during the prime marriage years and now it is more difficult for you. It is like complaining that you chose to pass up a great job when the economy was good to travel and now you can't find one half as good. No one says that you must take that job, but you can't blame the economy for your decision.

 

And what about those of us who were a) trying to work on their issues (so, *gasp* they wouldn't be a burden to a man), and b) hoping like hell to not attract certain types of men (part of the reason for working on themselves)? Only to find a lot of men chasing trophies, and informing women that they're losing their shelf life once they're over a certain age?

[ThsAmericanLife]

Your words, not mine.

 

 

Get off your fantasy island.

 

 

Would you marry a guy who makes minimum wage and needs you to help him provide for himself?

 

Im asking this because on the other hand a lot of men are willing to bear such burden in exchange for a woman's youth and beauty.

 

 

 

 

Over the past couple decades, more and more men of the newer generations have learned that for a man, marriage leads to more disadvantages than advantages.

 

Marriage for a man: Committing forever your continually growing financial investment on a single woman who will only get older and uglier with time, losing half your assets in the event of a breakdown of the marriage, confined to having sex with only one woman for the rest of your life.

 

 

Talking logic with women is often a waste of breath.

 

 

 

No different than women being attracted to a man with a good, steady job. Its no real commitment either by the same logic.

 

 

Are you complaining that you dont get to simply sit pretty while having guys flocking to you like the hot girls?

 

 

At least you know how it feels to be a man.

 

 

That man is a really great example of men of the doormat generation of old.

 

 

Getting hit on all the time by players is a lot better than not getting hit on at all. At least you know that you are attractive enough to have men approaching you and you know that your looks are not the problem.

 

Do you have any suggestions or ideas on ways you can improve your life and find someone compatible with you?

 

I'm not seeing any.

 

Just an endless chain of whining about how the world is supposed to revolve around you and how everyone else has it better than you.

 

Doesn't sound like a recipe for success...

[verhrzn]

http://jezebel.com/5857933/the-real-reason-why-older-men-want-to-date-you

 

Just like to note that this piece was written by a man, so it's not "feminist propaganda."

 

Still... reading about this topic just makes me feel depressed down to my bones. At 26, I get no attention from men as it is. Maybe it's time to prepare myself for a life alone, eh?

[Anela]

http://jezebel.com/5857933/the-real-reason-why-older-men-want-to-date-you

 

Just like to note that this piece was written by a man, so it's not "feminist propaganda."

 

Still... reading about this topic just makes me feel depressed down to my bones. At 26, I get no attention from men as it is. Maybe it's time to prepare myself for a life alone, eh?

 

That's depressing, and true of my own experience. I'm in that bracket where I was hearing from the low and high ends of the age spectrum, and barely anyone close to my own age (mid-thirties). Men my age go for 25 and up, generally, and I heard from mostly college guys or men in their forties and fifties.

[ThsAmericanLife]

http://jezebel.com/5857933/the-real-reason-why-older-men-want-to-date-you

 

Just like to note that this piece was written by a man, so it's not "feminist propaganda."

 

Still... reading about this topic just makes me feel depressed down to my bones. At 26, I get no attention from men as it is. Maybe it's time to prepare myself for a life alone, eh?

 

Thanks for posting this.. it definately squares with my experience of online dating... which is why I don't do it anymore.

 

The men there are in hardcore fantasy land. It's not about compatibility for them...

 

Funny thing is... these same guys come here and whine about how low their response rate is on OLD...

 

Attractive women their own age (the ones they'd be most compatible with) won't touch them because these men ooze insecurity. I can't tell you how many men I 'nexted' when I saw their posted age-range or their 'young at heart' BS in their profiles.

 

I'd much rather be 'alone' than deal with a man-boy who needs to date younger to validate his self-worth...

 

You are a very smart and articulate woman... and objectively speaking, attractive too. You are on the right track...