Confessions of a bad boy friend...

[sour_pikle]

lol of course ill be smarter! the pull and prey method still works these days right??? jk jk

 

But seriously, I'm not gunna deny that my brain isn't messing with me and telling me to try and work things out with her. The whole reason I stayed in this mess for so long was to be with my son. Doing a week on week off with her sharing custody right now. Its very hard to deal with but im sure its for the best in the end. Only took 4 years to get it through my thick skull!!

[sour_pikle]

I thought it would be neat to update this post five years later.

 

 

well I have ended my previous relationship with my sons mother after a bit of on and off. I have him a week on week off. She has been gone since Aug 2015.

 

 

So weird to look back on these posts, seeing the correct advice that I was given by other posters that although I knew they were right, I had to learn the hard way. Reading through them made so much sense now in hindsight. I thank everyone who took the time to reply to my post. You all helped or made your way into my thoughts during that time one way or another.

 

 

I've always been the type to take a long time to recover from break ups. To this day I still miss everyone of the people I've had meaningful relationships with in the past. Although I'm sure that's part of being human, it is also the reason why I stayed in unhappy relationships for so long after they had run there course. I was afraid of being alone plain and simple.

 

 

I took a full year to recoup and just be me and figure out who I was again and find where I was and where I wanted to be headed in life. This august I felt ready and started dating again. I met some nice women and made some new friends. Saw that there was a whole world of experiences and happiness waiting for me (and my son).

 

 

I'm currently dating a nurse that I've had mutual friends with. This xmas will be my first in 8 years with someone new. It feels weird and exciting at the same time. She is great, she's beautiful, smart, makes me laugh.

 

 

I feel good about who I am.

[Scarlett94]

I'm glad things worked out for you

[sour_pikle]

Ok buddy,

All the good dudes on this forum wrote you, you ignored their advice and they stopped following.

I read your whole thread(your comments and the ones you respond to) and I hope I can give you words that might actually help.

 

You have no drive to do anything for your self especially if it involves getting started in something new. Once you're in involved with something and the ball is rolling you have no problem showing up everyday and just going with the flow even if the situation is bad.

 

You couldn't even finish school on your own, your ex and her mom got you through it.

 

I have a one year old, the thought of life without her is terrifying but I can say this, if her mom treated my like crap, I'd be gone.

I'd do whatever I could to keep my kid in my life but if I couldn't I would leave to build a sanctuary for her.

 

How does this women treat your son? If she treats you like garbage and begins to see you in him she will get nasty.

 

Do you work out. You need to build self esteem!!!!!!!!!!

Crossfit is great for self esteem, I did it for 14 months, I had a cal out with a coach and moved to body building but what I got from crossfit was support, exercise, a community of people devoted to improving their life and I got strong.

 

Build a life for yourself, don't settle for the life being given to you. You write in this forum as if someone else decides your fat, like it's a story written out, that you have no choice and your just an actor reciting lines.... Your not!

Bro you at both the author and the star of your movie, make it a good movie.

 

 

If you want I'll give you my private email, I want you to live your life the way you want. I hate to see people flush their life away because of fear and inability to act in ones self interest.

Your not a bad dude, stop beating yourself up and punishing yourself for bad decisions, one series of good decisions could rectify all that's been done, nothing is F$&ked her bro, just slightly damaged.

 

Remember being a good father is NOT staying to let your son learn how to be a weak man who let's women treat him like gaRbage, it's NOT taking verbal abuse, it's NOT saying no to what you want(within reason and doing things the appropriate way) when you can get it the right way. Be a man for your son and show him what a real man is.

 

I'm a child development major, kids learn by watching. Your son is watching you be treated like garbage, he's watching you accept your fate, he's watching you be depressed. He will either be like you... A wimp who doesn't stand up for himesf or like his mom, a cheater who treats his dad like crap. If you don't want him to be either of those things(he will if that's all he knows) then give him another option to choose from.

 

 

One last piece of advice. When you stay with a women who cheats on you and you don't make them earn your love, they will not respect you and will disrespect you until she's disgusted by the sight of you, she will take your son and leave you!!!!!! You stayed to be with him but what if you staying leads to her leaving and giving your son to an abusive man??

 

You have to think about these things, this isn't a black and white situation but from wha you have written you are still heading towards disaster.. Get a good game plan!

 

Good luck bro!

OldSpicy...get at me bro! I want to talk to you if you're still out there!!!!

[sour_pikle]

Ok buddy,

All the good dudes on this forum wrote you, you ignored their advice and they stopped following.

I read your whole thread(your comments and the ones you respond to) and I hope I can give you words that might actually help.

 

You have no drive to do anything for your self especially if it involves getting started in something new. Once you're in involved with something and the ball is rolling you have no problem showing up everyday and just going with the flow even if the situation is bad.

 

You couldn't even finish school on your own, your ex and her mom got you through it.

 

I have a one year old, the thought of life without her is terrifying but I can say this, if her mom treated my like crap, I'd be gone.

I'd do whatever I could to keep my kid in my life but if I couldn't I would leave to build a sanctuary for her.

 

How does this women treat your son? If she treats you like garbage and begins to see you in him she will get nasty.

 

Do you work out. You need to build self esteem!!!!!!!!!!

Crossfit is great for self esteem, I did it for 14 months, I had a cal out with a coach and moved to body building but what I got from crossfit was support, exercise, a community of people devoted to improving their life and I got strong.

 

Build a life for yourself, don't settle for the life being given to you. You write in this forum as if someone else decides your fat, like it's a story written out, that you have no choice and your just an actor reciting lines.... Your not!

Bro you at both the author and the star of your movie, make it a good movie.

 

 

If you want I'll give you my private email, I want you to live your life the way you want. I hate to see people flush their life away because of fear and inability to act in ones self interest.

Your not a bad dude, stop beating yourself up and punishing yourself for bad decisions, one series of good decisions could rectify all that's been done, nothing is F$&ked her bro, just slightly damaged.

 

Remember being a good father is NOT staying to let your son learn how to be a weak man who let's women treat him like gaRbage, it's NOT taking verbal abuse, it's NOT saying no to what you want(within reason and doing things the appropriate way) when you can get it the right way. Be a man for your son and show him what a real man is.

 

I'm a child development major, kids learn by watching. Your son is watching you be treated like garbage, he's watching you accept your fate, he's watching you be depressed. He will either be like you... A wimp who doesn't stand up for himesf or like his mom, a cheater who treats his dad like crap. If you don't want him to be either of those things(he will if that's all he knows) then give him another option to choose from.

 

 

One last piece of advice. When you stay with a women who cheats on you and you don't make them earn your love, they will not respect you and will disrespect you until she's disgusted by the sight of you, she will take your son and leave you!!!!!! You stayed to be with him but what if you staying leads to her leaving and giving your son to an abusive man??

 

You have to think about these things, this isn't a black and white situation but from wha you have written you are still heading towards disaster.. Get a good game plan!

 

Good luck bro!

 

 

I still come here to read this comment every few months just to keep it in my mind!!!!

[sour_pikle]

The saga continues...

 

 

My last update was December 2016. Since then I have broken up with the woman I was dating (Lets call her Ashley). Was a good relationship, learned a lot from that. Unfortunately issues arose after a year of dating that could not be worked out. We had broke up on and off a few times throughout the time we dated. We called it quits in October 2017. Because of the pattern we were in, I knew we weren't quite done, however I found out that a week after our break up, Ashely decided to get really drunk and have sex with someone. It was actually a guy I really dislike (druggy scumbag). Perhaps this was a revenge ploy?

 

 

She knew that it would get back to me eventually and a week later she called and told me what had happened and did the whole "it was a mistake, I was so drunk I don't even remember, I still love you" thing whilst crying like a child.

 

 

The funny thing is, I was not mad. I was not hurt. I felt relief. Relief that I didn't need to drag out the break up and find "valid" reasons to move on other than the fact that we both knew it wasn't a long term match. I told her that we were broken up and that she was free to do what she wanted without repercussions. And that was it. Said good luck and good bye and have ignored any of her attempts to contact me.

 

 

 

 

I guess I'm learning...or maybe I've become desensitized to some of the crumby things people can do to each other. In a recent post I spoke about how her family is upset that ive moved on but at this point I don't give AF.

 

 

Ive been dating a new women since December and things are going well, as to be expected with a new relationship. Guess we'll see where this goes.lol

 

 

She the opposite of what ive always dated. Extremely good looking, tattoos, owns her own business and home. She also has a daughter from a previous relationship so im thinking because we both are single parents we might relate to each other very well.

 

 

Has any of the single parents out here had experience dating people with and without kids? was it easier? pros? cons?

 

 

let the fun continue!!!

[DavidJoseph]

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