Lovelybird Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 what is BBW? Anyway, if any man makes that comment, just tell him, "I love my weight, just deal with it":D Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Haha porn has nothing to do with it. It's just a tool to get off on. I watch it myself sometimes and I know that the guys in porn don't really matter at all. Speaking of porn, I just remembered that when I was snooping (please no lectures, it's over and done with) - I found that one of his searches was for BBW porn. I thought WTH at the time. Hah, that was the same s*it I came across on my ex's computer by accident. And he cheated on me with a, ahem, 'big' lady. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 BBW=Big Boned Women Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelybird Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Hah, that was the same s*it I came across on my ex's computer by accident. And he cheated on me with a, ahem, 'big' lady. Maybe there is a parttern for porn guy? they easily cheat on someone BBW=Big Boned Women I see Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 BBW=Big Boned Women Finally someone with a correct meaning Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 So his preference for you would to have been thinner, but he gets off on big women porn? And they say women are confusing, pffft. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 BBW=Big Boned Women Wouldn't ES fit that description? Perhaps he was looking for porn that emulated her? What's wrong with that? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 So his preference for you would to have been thinner, but he gets off on big women porn? And they say women are confusing, pffft. Exactly. I don't get it either. Link to post Share on other sites
torn_curtain Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 His comments about what his brother thought and his parents would think combined with the type of porn he looks at makes me wonder if his problem with your weight had more to do with what other people thought than his personal preferences. From what you've written about him elsewhere he was extremely focused on getting the approval of others--typical people pleaser, so this would make sense. Anyway, it's all bridge under the water. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Traditionally, at least back the 20+ years I've been familiar with the term, BBW meant/means 'Big Beautiful Woman' Sexual attraction to 'Rubenesque' women. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 sExactly. I don't get it either. I guess it's the "men like variety" thing... Link to post Share on other sites
torn_curtain Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 *water under the bridge Link to post Share on other sites
JHS Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Exactly. It's not like he was telling her to do something dangerous or unhealthy. People just like to make excuses and play the victim. No one wants to accept responsibility for their choices these days. If a man had posted the same thing, the replies would have been far different. The easiest way to expand your dating pool is to improve your physical appearance. Physical attraction is the difference between a friend and a lover. Get over it! Can I call you? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Wouldn't ES fit that description? Perhaps he was looking for porn that emulated her? What's wrong with that? Do a google image search for BBW. It doesn't describe ES at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 BTW my ex bf was what I would call skinny fat. Even though he played sports, his body was really soft. He also seemed to store fat around his hips. He looked good with his clothes on but it was a different story with the clothes off. I think it's just genetics and didn't think losing weight would really help him. I am just sayin' dude, look in the mirror - your body is far from perfect, why should mine be? Sure, I would be more attracted if he had a hard body. But I would never dream to comment on it, not even in a subtle way. Note though that developing and maintaining a hard body is a lot more work than just losing weight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Hmmm torn_curtain you might be on to something. I am nowhere close to BBW. BBW are morbidly obese women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Note though that developing and maintaining a hard body is a lot more work than just losing weight. Yes, but I have been with other men that don't work out much and they didn't feel as "soft". I mean there is "soft" and there is "soft". Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Chick Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Wrong. It just means women who are over normal weight. Look up the definition. But you are not happy with your weight...you might as well be morbidly obese because you are cutting out a large part of the dating pool by not being fit. don't complain when you can't find quality prospects because you yourself are keeping the pool small. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 His comments about what his brother thought and his parents would think combined with the type of porn he looks at makes me wonder if his problem with your weight had more to do with what other people thought than his personal preferences. From what you've written about him elsewhere he was extremely focused on getting the approval of others--typical people pleaser, so this would make sense. Anyway, it's all bridge under the water. That's just like ES. Their personalities are very similar, I'm realizing. But I don't really buy that ES never discussed her body insecurities with her ex. She said she bared her soul to him, exposed every insecurity and vulnerability. It's only natural for a guy who hears complaints about his GF's body to say something to suggest she fix it rather than continue complaining about it. Particularly in a "subtle" way, as described by the very title. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Hmmm torn_curtain you might be on to something. I am nowhere close to BBW. BBW are morbidly obese women. There's a 'range' A couple datapoints along the range would be exemplified by well-known examples like Valerie Bertinelli when she weighed 172 lbs. She'd fall into the BBW-'lite' category. A more 'serious' BBW would be Kirstie Alley when she was over 200 lbs. Since both ladies make/made their living at least partially with their looks at their more 'ideal' weights, it makes for a good comparison. My exW trended more towards the 'serious' side for the majority of our M. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Star asked you whether you had shared your worries about being fat with him, and you responded: No, I actually did not -it's a very sensitive issues for me. Only once his comments became more frequent did I say something like "yeah, I should really lose some weight". Before that, I was silent or would just change the topic of conversation. He only seemed more and more obvious with the hints. Is that the truth? If so, was this part of your past "insecurities" thread a ... lie? I told him how I think I am fat all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Wrong. It just means women who are over normal weight. Look up the definition. But you are not happy with your weight...you might as well be morbidly obese because you are cutting out a large part of the dating pool by not being fit. don't complain when you can't find quality prospects because you yourself are keeping the pool small. So you are saying that the dating pool is equally small for women that are in the upper range of the normal weight and those that are morbidly obese? Seriously? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Star asked you whether you had shared your worries about being fat with him, and you responded: Is that the truth? If so, was this part of your past "insecurities" thread a ... lie? I have only shared that I am fat after he made repetitive comments about gym/weight etc. Not before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Basically, at my weight some men don't consider me fat, others do. I was hoping that my ex was in the former category so that's why I didn't say anything. After it was clear that he is not, I shared that I am insecure about my body. He only kept at me with the comments. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 P.S. I am back on OKCupid. I feel ready to date if an interesting prospect came up. Link to post Share on other sites
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