My journal on trying to improve my life

[denise_xo]

Yeah, I'm gonna take them back, there's a pair of trainers there which I think I prefer.

 

About feeling unlikeable. When I was seeing a CBT therapist, he told me to record any evidence in a note pad, from being out and around people that does not fit in with the beliefs that I'm unlikeable.

 

When I feel unlikeable and read all the experiences that I've written in it which seem to contradict that I'm unlikeable, it actualy makes me feel quite a bit better.

 

That's a good strategy. I've tried something similar but not written it down. But I think writing it makes it clearer.

[thehead]

Ross

 

No 1 - it could be either option with the person behind you either just wanting to prompt you or getting annoyed. The way you should look at it is that it was not personal. It just happens. It's happened to me if I have not kept a focus on traffic lights and I have also beeped those in front of me. When I have done it, I have pretty much always done it as the friendly prompt.

 

No 2 - the speed you were doing sounds reasonable. Possibilities - were you in the wrong lane for making the turn off you wanted, was the taxi driver just an ar$e (does happen ). Either way, does it matter now? You would never have done something like this a year ago, how good is it that you are doing this now. Don't beat yourself up.

 

How you felt when shopping - knowing how you worry, you may well have still been out of sorts about the above two incidents and taking things personally when they're not. You're a sensitive guy (which is good IMO) and you want to be liked so you worry about making the right impression. Just remember - most people you meet want to be liked too and have their moments of insecurity and doubt.

 

The trainers? Can you take them back? Maybe to another branch of the same chain so you don't have to travel so far?

 

Good feedback.

 

You traveled some serious roads, dude. Nice work.

 

If the guy at the stoplight wasn't laying on the horn, it was probably a honk to alert you in a helpful way, not to be a dick.

 

The taxi guy? Who knows. In the States, taxis honk up a storm. Means nothing. We ignore them.

 

Sounds like you were just stressed once you hit the shops and feeling self-conscious. No one was hating on you, were they? You're a pretty likeable dude Ross. Just have a couple of beers and congratualte yourself for pushing it.

 

Oh yeah. Return the shoes. Only wear stuff you really, really like.

[Ross MwcFan]

Good feedback.

 

You traveled some serious roads, dude. Nice work.

 

If the guy at the stoplight wasn't laying on the horn, it was probably a honk to alert you in a helpful way, not to be a dick.

 

The taxi guy? Who knows. In the States, taxis honk up a storm. Means nothing. We ignore them.

 

Sounds like you were just stressed once you hit the shops and feeling self-conscious. No one was hating on you, were they? You're a pretty likeable dude Ross. Just have a couple of beers and congratualte yourself for pushing it.

 

Oh yeah. Return the shoes. Only wear stuff you really, really like.

 

Thanks mate.

 

Lol, I've already started having a few beers. I Feel better now.

[HeavenOrHell]

Inspiring thread Ross I suffer with anxiety, depression and shyness (I've got social phobia), and mild agoraphobia. When me and my ex split 2 years ago after 18 years it pushed me to challenge myself and I feel I've come a long way, although my physical health is awful lately (partly stress related), and I'm struggling at the moment to get back on track.

I do voluntary work with with animals and I love it, it's my vocation

I've never learnt to drive, much too nervous, so good on you!

Any reason you can't wear glasses? I actually think some people look even more attractive with glasses on. I wear specs, can't cope with contacts, freak out about anything in my eyes My partner wears contacts but also has glasses, but he doesn't wear them outside, haha, he's had them since he was a teenager (he's late 30's now) and they're the most geeky glasses I have ever seen And I love them

[Ross MwcFan]

Inspiring thread Ross I suffer with anxiety, depression and shyness (I've got social phobia), and mild agoraphobia. When me and my ex split 2 years ago after 18 years it pushed me to challenge myself and I feel I've come a long way, although my physical health is awful lately (partly stress related), and I'm struggling at the moment to get back on track.

I do voluntary work with with animals and I love it, it's my vocation

I've never learnt to drive, much too nervous, so good on you!

Any reason you can't wear glasses? I actually think some people look even more attractive with glasses on. I wear specs, can't cope with contacts, freak out about anything in my eyes My partner wears contacts but also has glasses, but he doesn't wear them outside, haha, he's had them since he was a teenager (he's late 30's now) and they're the most geeky glasses I have ever seen And I love them

 

Hey, HOH. I do have glasses, but like your SO I never wear them outside, only indoors. I just don't think glasses are a good look on me, I think they spoil my looks.

[Ross MwcFan]

Feeling waaaaaaaay better today, went for another long trip in the car too. Georgous weather.

 

Oh and I picked up some more Mountain Dew.

 

Yeah, I've realised I'm eating way too much junk food all the time, so I'm going to cut down. I've figured by cutting down, I could probably at least save myself £6 every week, which is pretty much the same amount that the new contacts work out as each week. They're about £72 for a 3 months supply, which is quite a chunk of money when you're not working, so I'll basically be killing 2 birds with one stone.

Edited June 29, 2011 by Ross MwcFan

[HeavenOrHell]

Hmm, take care of your eyes though, much more important than looks Sorry, stating the obvious there. Anyone who likes or loves you looks beyond the glasses.

How about taking your new friend shopping with you, see if any really suit you

 

Hey, HOH. I do have glasses, but like your SO I never wear them outside, only indoors. I just don't think glasses are a good look on me, I think they spoil my looks.

[Ross MwcFan]

My eyes will be fine since the optician will be checking things. If it turns out these contacts are bad for my eyes, which means I wont be able to wear any contacts again, I'll get laser eye surgery.

[lino]

Good to see you are progressing mate!

[Ross MwcFan]

Pissed off:

 

Went back to the shop where I bought my trainers, saw a great pair but they weren't in my size. Couldn't get a refund either, but I was given credit.

 

So now I'll have to wait until they get the trainers in that I do like in the right size. Could be about a week.

 

Went into quite a few shops but couldn't find any peach cider.

 

Recieved my FM transmitter today, and was looking forward to being able to play my iPod in my car. The FM on my radio doesn't seem to work anymore though. So, that's nearly £10 quid wasted. And I'll have to spend about another £10 on a cassette adaptor so I can use that to play my iPod in my car instead. Being that I'll be buying it off ebay and it's Friday today, I'm going to have to wait until Monday at the earliest until I recieve it.

 

On the positive side though, when driving to town today, I've noticed that I'm much better at judging when I can go while waiting to join roundabouts, so it seems (hopefully) that I should always be able to join them a lot more quickly and not hold up the traffic behind me and have them all beeping at me.

Edited July 1, 2011 by Ross MwcFan

[cerridwen]

Stupid store.

 

Stupid stores with no peach cider.

 

Stupid FM transmitter and waiting until Monday.

[Ross MwcFan]

Stupid store.

 

Stupid stores with no peach cider.

 

Stupid FM transmitter and waiting until Monday.

 

Lol, thanks.

[betterdeal]

On the positive side though, when driving to town today, I've noticed that I'm much better at judging when I can go while waiting to join roundabouts, so it seems (hopefully) that I should always be able to join them a lot more quickly and not hold up the traffic behind me and have them all beeping at me.

 

I failed my first test for hesitation at a roundabout. It was a hellish roundabout, mind.

[Ross MwcFan]

Well, good news. My next door neighbour has offered to give me the money for the credit note because she buys things from that same shop a lot of the time.

 

And, I've found the trainers in the right size on the official Nike site and just ordered them.

 

http://store.nike.com/gb/en_gb/#l=shop,pdp,ctr-inline/cid-300/pid-392560/pgid-432109

 

I just love the neon green on them. they'll really go with one of my T-shirts and my hoodie.

 

Lol, this topic is supposed to be about serious life stuff, and the latest drama that I'm talking about is trying to get hold of a particular pair of trainers.

 

I failed my first test for hesitation at a roundabout. It was a hellish roundabout, mind.

 

I nearly went the wrong way on a roundabout on a driving lesson once.

 

I'm surprised I've been given a licence.

[denise_xo]

Hey, don't underestimate the importance of nice shoes. Women have understood this for a long time :laugh:

 

I'm surprised I ever got my license, too. I have various accidents or near accidents on my record. Among the highlights is driving over a 'no stop' sign. Last time I drove down I95 I thought I would crash and die before I'd come half way. By some miracle I made it down in one piece.

[Ross MwcFan]

Hey, don't underestimate the importance of nice shoes. Women have understood this for a long time :laugh:

 

I'm surprised I ever got my license, too. I have various accidents or near accidents on my record. Among the highlights is driving over a 'no stop' sign. Last time I drove down I95 I thought I would crash and die before I'd come half way. By some miracle I made it down in one piece.

 

If I was a millionaire I'd be just like a woman. I'd have a giant collection of awsome trainers.

[thehead]

Well, good news. My next door neighbour has offered to give me the money for the credit note because she buys things from that same shop a lot of the time.

 

And, I've found the trainers in the right size on the official Nike site and just ordered them.

 

http://store.nike.com/gb/en_gb/#l=shop,pdp,ctr-inline/cid-300/pid-392560/pgid-432109

 

I just love the neon green on them. they'll really go with one of my T-shirts and my hoodie.

 

Lol, this topic is supposed to be about serious life stuff, and the latest drama that I'm talking about is trying to get hold of a particular pair of trainers.

 

 

 

I nearly went the wrong way on a roundabout on a driving lesson once.

 

I'm surprised I've been given a licence.

 

Nice kicks.

[Ross MwcFan]

Not feeling too good, feeling insecure http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t285894/

[anne1707]

Has anything happened to make you feel low and doubt yourself today?

[Ross MwcFan]

Has anything happened to make you feel low and doubt yourself today?

 

I'm not sure, maybe.

[anne1707]

 

Ross

 

We all have good days and bad days. Sometimes because of something that has happened or how we perceive something. Sometimes just because we didn't sleep too well the night before. Try not to come down so hard on yourself - I can promise you that people who you meet are not all thinking you are not worthy or not likeable. Most people want to get on with others and want to like people - just as they want to be liked in return.

 

Your confidence is growing in a nice way. You are modest and not full of yourself plus not blaming others for any problems you have. All of which explains why there are so many on LS who like you and are wishing you well on your journey.

[Ross MwcFan]

Thanks Anne.

 

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better now, I was having another off day yesterday.

[Ross MwcFan]

I need to try and find out how to avoid feeling really down or insecure or whatever in the first place. Or at least try and stop it in it's tracks as soon as it happens. Because if I don't, then it's really hard to get out of feeling like that.

[cerridwen]

I need to try and find out how to avoid feeling really down or insecure or whatever in the first place. Or at least try and stop it in it's tracks as soon as it happens. Because if I don't, then it's really hard to get out of feeling like that.

 

I don't know, Ross. I think you did fine.

So, you had a Human Moment. It happens.

 

We all get into funks of feeling insecure about one thing or another.

The way you handled it seems good. You identified it. Talked about it. Then stepped away from it for awhile. You revisited it later and weighed its validity.

I'd say be more compassionate with yourself.

You did just fine.

[TrueColors]

Hi Ross,

 

So I managed to catch up on your thread. Nice one!

 

Re. the down days. Yeah, happens to even the best of us. I still wake up with a knot in my stomach from the constant realisation that my ex is with someone else.

 

But such is life.

 

One of my firends actually recommended a link to a gratitude site: http://happyrambles.com/ It looks a bit girlie, but don't let that put you off! What it does is sends you an email everyday asking you to name things that you have been grateful for during that day.

 

Similar to your CBT exercise really. So when you are having a down day, you can read back over the stuff you've recorded and it should help to put things back into perspective.

 

Also, have you tried mindfulness meditation? I don't know if they are that much different to hypnosis audios, but the one that I've found useful is "The Mindful Way Through Depression".