denise_xo Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Thanks! I never thought of that. I actually have a consultation on Monday, as I'm obviously still struggling and need help. My doctor, and my last doctor, seem to have all but given up on me. They disagree to anymore therapy, and they're against me trying any other meds, even though the ones I'm on are missing the mark. If they're not taking you seriously, try getting another doctor for a second opinion. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Thanks! I never thought of that. I actually have a consultation on Monday, as I'm obviously still struggling and need help. My doctor, and my last doctor, seem to have all but given up on me. They disagree to anymore therapy, and they're against me trying any other meds, even though the ones I'm on are missing the mark. Look into going private for therapy. The NHS only offers CBT, IIRC. I've been thinking I'd like to join a reading club or something like that - somewhere to talk at reasonable depth with people. Maybe something like that would be of interest to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 Look into going private for therapy. The NHS only offers CBT, IIRC. I've been thinking I'd like to join a reading club or something like that - somewhere to talk at reasonable depth with people. Maybe something like that would be of interest to you? I think maybe joining some sort of group could be a good idea. I'm not sure about a reading club though, wouldn't that just entail reading books? I'm not sure how that would give me the opportunity to talk in depth about any issues with people. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Hi Ross I can relate. I also struggle with depression too. I absolutely hate it. Once you get depressed, I find it very difficult to get out of. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 I think maybe joining some sort of group could be a good idea. I'm not sure about a reading club though, wouldn't that just entail reading books? I'm not sure how that would give me the opportunity to talk in depth about any issues with people. Not your personal issues, granted, but talking in depth with nuance and consideration is a joy in itself. One of your challenges is to be more confident in conversations, right? And how do we improve any muscle, skill, facet of our being? By practice. And the best practice is that which we enjoy. Also, books tend to cover lots of issues that you may find interrelated to your personal experience of life, thus giving you a bigger context in which to consider your issues. It's all food, for thought. And there will be people there. Some of which will be ladies... It may turn out to be a pile of pompous shiite, who knows? There's one way to find out and that's by going. 50% of life is turning up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) Hi Ross I can relate. I also struggle with depression too. I absolutely hate it. Once you get depressed, I find it very difficult to get out of. I've found that hypnosis, and self help mp3's seem to help with this. Not so much as getting you out of depression once you're feeling that way, but to help prevent it. In fact I'm sure they've helped a lot with my progress, helped me to become more positive, and have helped me to gain more inner strength. I basically listen to them almost every day, and I carry out the mental exercises that some of them ask you to do. Some good ones to search for, are mp3's by Paul McKenna, Anthony Robbins, and Wendi Friesen. Not your personal issues, granted, but talking in depth with nuance and consideration is a joy in itself. One of your challenges is to be more confident in conversations, right? And how do we improve any muscle, skill, facet of our being? By practice. And the best practice is that which we enjoy. Also, books tend to cover lots of issues that you may find interrelated to your personal experience of life, thus giving you a bigger context in which to consider your issues. It's all food, for thought. And there will be people there. Some of which will be ladies... It may turn out to be a pile of pompous shiite, who knows? There's one way to find out and that's by going. 50% of life is turning up. Yeah, it's a good idea. It's definatley something I'll look into at some point, not a book group, but something else, as I really don't enjoy reading books. Edited June 18, 2011 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 That's the spirit! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 For the last few days, always seeing couples everywhere, all the time, whenever I'm out, has been making me feel like crap. Even just seeing attractive girls on their own has been making me feel bad as well. Today when I was out, I felt so sick of it, that just tried to ignore it all, and really tried avoid looking at any couples or girls. As you can tell I'm having an off day today. Been feeling quite defeatist and depressed. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 For the last few days, always seeing couples everywhere, all the time, whenever I'm out, has been making me feel like crap. Even just seeing attractive girls on their own has been making me feel bad as well. Today when I was out, I felt so sick of it, that just tried to ignore it all, and really tried avoid looking at any couples or girls. As you can tell I'm having an off day today. Been feeling quite defeatist and depressed. A few days ago, in the "bathtub" thread, I posted I could do with drinking myself silly. I'd had a terrible day. An issue I'd thought had been put to rest, came alive again. It sent me into a day long low, feeling I'd made little progress on the situation. Then, after a day and night of feeling like crap, it lifted. I'm back to feeling strong and motivated. My suggestion is to do as you are: Recognize it's a low but not the absolute truth. Allow yourself today but don't go too deeply into the emotion so it extends beyond. In other words, pay special attention to your self talk. Stay away from "Things will never get better" and "I'll never find someone" and opt for the less damaging "Today's lousy. I feel like crap. But that's the extent of it." Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Yeah, some days are just bollocks. They're good days to read a book or watch a film. What was the weather like? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 Yeah, some days are just bollocks. They're good days to read a book or watch a film. What was the weather like? Nice and sunny. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Nice and sunny. Sounds like Maltesers and Kronenbourg time. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Maybe you're afraid of feeling good. Sitting in a park, on a sunny day, watching people, can be fun. It's okay to feel good. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Maybe you're afraid of feeling good. Sitting in a park, on a sunny day, watching people, can be fun. It's okay to feel good. Really interesting, betterdeal! I just happen to be reading something about common self-defeating attitudes. One happens to be: "If I worry or feel bad about a situation, it will somehow make things better. It's not really safe to feel happy and optimistic." Huh. Wonder why. Link to post Share on other sites
coffeeaddict Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Jack Lalanne was a good motivational speaker, he was a health guru so it's not specifically related to social anxiety, but it's just all around good motivational stuff. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEboAJf9UVc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT0q7tCSUZM Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Really interesting, betterdeal! I just happen to be reading something about common self-defeating attitudes. One happens to be: "If I worry or feel bad about a situation, it will somehow make things better. It's not really safe to feel happy and optimistic." Huh. Wonder why. Yeah, fear of success I used to call it! It's familiar; we know who we are when we are fearful if we are fearful most of the time. It feels comfortable. Like a smoker's cough. That's one possibility. Another is (and this is not exclusive from the first) is that in the past something traumatic happened when we were happy and optimistic and we haven't healed from that. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Yeah, off-days are definitely normal. I'll usually have those more often than I'd like, but as Dorie mentioned--it's only temporary. I'm definitely no stranger to feeling down while seeing happy couples together in the city, or seeing an attractive woman in general. It seems to be random for me, but sometimes it doesn't bother me at all. I think you'll get better with this. Glad to see you're on the path of improvement, Ross. I look forward to reading more positive updates from you throughout your journey. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) A few days ago, in the "bathtub" thread, I posted I could do with drinking myself silly. I'd had a terrible day. An issue I'd thought had been put to rest, came alive again. It sent me into a day long low, feeling I'd made little progress on the situation. Then, after a day and night of feeling like crap, it lifted. I'm back to feeling strong and motivated. My suggestion is to do as you are: Recognize it's a low but not the absolute truth. Allow yourself today but don't go too deeply into the emotion so it extends beyond. In other words, pay special attention to your self talk. Stay away from "Things will never get better" and "I'll never find someone" and opt for the less damaging "Today's lousy. I feel like crap. But that's the extent of it." I'm fine now. Sounds like Maltesers and Kronenbourg time. Ha ha! Maybe you're afraid of feeling good. Sitting in a park, on a sunny day, watching people, can be fun. It's okay to feel good. Nah, that's not true at all. Yeah, off-days are definitely normal. I'll usually have those more often than I'd like, but as Dorie mentioned--it's only temporary. I'm definitely no stranger to feeling down while seeing happy couples together in the city, or seeing an attractive woman in general. It seems to be random for me, but sometimes it doesn't bother me at all. I think you'll get better with this. Yeah, same here, sometimes seeing couples and attractive women everywhere doesn't bother me at all. When I'm feeling really down about stuff, I just need to keep in mind that it's not always going to feel that way, and I may even feel perfectly fine by the next day. Glad to see you're on the path of improvement, Ross. I look forward to reading more positive updates from you throughout your journey. Thanks. Lol! As corny as it sounds, I guess I am on a journey. Edited June 20, 2011 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 Keep it up, Ross. Don't get weak like some of us do. I've got no choice. There's no way I want to continue living like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 I know, man....I wish everyone could find happiness. I hate being unhappy....the thing is, unlike me, yo uhave the balls to do something about it.. Keep on that path, man...don't get off of it. Hopefully I'll/this topic will be able to inspire you. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I know, man....I wish everyone could find happiness. I hate being unhappy....the thing is, unlike me, yo uhave the balls to do something about it.. Keep on that path, man...don't get off of it. The first step in any journey is deciding where you want to go. Do you want to be happy or unhappy? Link to post Share on other sites
quaderas1 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 ty for share Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Hopefully I'll/this topic will be able to inspire you. I am inspired by this thread Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Ross you look bloody gorgeous in your new avatar. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) I am inspired by this thread Thanks. Ross you look bloody gorgeous in your new avatar. Lol! Thanks. If only you women would say this sort of stuff to me in real life. Edited June 21, 2011 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
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