thehead Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Have you ever thought about becoming an umpire? I umpire basketball and get all sorts of abuse hurled at me on a weekly basis. It was rough at first but now anytime someone abuses me it just rolls right off my back. It might help you deal with situations like these. It doesn't matter what the mistake was, you just need to try and leave the abuse at the construction site. When you let it come home with you and consume you I personally know how devastating that can be. Dude, that's a rough time! But a GREAT time for us hecklers. How long you been doing it? Link to post Share on other sites
Eclypse Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Dude, that's a rough time! But a GREAT time for us hecklers. How long you been doing it? Been doing it about 3 years now. I don't get as heckled now that I'm better but you get some crazies every now and then. It's pretty good character building. I don't like the job that much though, only really doing it till I graduate from university. I think you need to put yourself out there Ross and conquer all your problems. It's hard but it will be rewarding. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 I'm not sure if that be good for my well being even in the long term. I mean, you always hear people give the advice about getting toxic people out of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 To be honest, I've got no idea how to recognise the negative thought patterns as being something that settled down in me early on in my life. google The Lefkoe Method and you will know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 Had to cut someone off because I was in the wrong lane today. They looked like they were slowing down to allow me to go, but when I changed lanes they beeped at me. I also nearly reversed into a guy pushing shopping carts at the supermarket as well, because I forgot to look in my rear view mirror and through my back window. Another car was beeping at me to warn me, and the guy himself was shouting to warn me as well. I wonder what's going to be next? Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Had to cut someone off because I was in the wrong lane today. They looked like they were slowing down to allow me to go, but when I changed lanes they beeped at me. I also nearly reversed into a guy pushing shopping carts at the supermarket as well, because I forgot to look in my rear view mirror and through my back window. Another car was beeping at me to warn me, and the guy himself was shouting to warn me as well. I wonder what's going to be next? As do I. Will Ross continue to take more note of the negative than the positive? Will he forever be unmerciless about forgiving his mistakes? Will he continue to see himself as "especially defective" for these errors? Only time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 As do I. Will Ross continue to take more note of the negative than the positive? Will he forever be unmerciless about forgiving his mistakes? Will he continue to see himself as "especially defective" for these errors? Only time will tell. I know I know. Surely if I was that much of a buffoon and shouldn't have a license I wouldn't have passed my test the first time. I should look at the positives about my driving, because there are a lot more. Also, talking to Cerridwen on IM has helped me feel a lot better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 Blood test results show there's nothing wrong. Made an appointment with the last doc I saw about my voice, to see where to go from here. Trouble is is that the soonest he can see me is early Sept. Not sure whether to make a sooner appointment with another doc. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Blood test results show there's nothing wrong. Made an appointment with the last doc I saw about my voice, to see where to go from here. Trouble is is that the soonest he can see me is early Sept. Not sure whether to make a sooner appointment with another doc. Are you unable to speak at length, or has it worsened? If it is no better the doctor would want to see you sooner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 14, 2011 Author Share Posted August 14, 2011 Are you unable to speak at length, or has it worsened? If it is no better the doctor would want to see you sooner. It seems to be getting better. But still, some days it'll just sound completely wrecked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 (edited) I thought I'd wait until I got the whole voice thing out of the way first. But I've decided to start trying to look for voluntary work with animals, but so far I haven't been able to find anywhere near to me. I'm not sure why but I'm finding it very stressful and like I just cannot be bothered, even though I would really like to get some voluntary work with animals. The only closest places that I know about so far is an animal sanctury and the RSPCA. But they're still really far away from me, so I'd be having to deal with the whole 'driving thing' as well as doing voluntary work and working with other people. So I guess I might have to end up going to one of those two places. And unfortunatley if I do, I wont be able to work any more than once a week since it'll cost me a fortune in petrol and I can't afford it. If only there was somewhere nice near to me. Edited August 23, 2011 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
Eclypse Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Oh well we all gotta make sacrifices. I spend 4 hours commuting each day. It sucks balls, but what are you gonna do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 Oh well we all gotta make sacrifices. I spend 4 hours commuting each day. It sucks balls, but what are you gonna do? Yeah but you don't have the issues I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I thought I'd wait until I got the whole voice thing out of the way first. But I've decided to start trying to look for voluntary work with animals, but so far I haven't been able to find anywhere near to me. I'm not sure why but I'm finding it very stressful and like I just cannot be bothered, even though I would really like to get some voluntary work with animals. The only closest places that I know about so far is an animal sanctury and the RSPCA. But they're still really far away from me, so I'd be having to deal with the whole 'driving thing' as well as doing voluntary work and working with other people. So I guess I might have to end up going to one of those two places. And unfortunatley if I do, I wont be able to work any more than once a week since it'll cost me a fortune in petrol and I can't afford it. If only there was somewhere nice near to me. What is the purpose of volunteering? It sounds counterproductive if it stalls out your ability to work and costs you out of pocket. Ultimately, if volunteering doesn't benefit you, you may want to skip it and find work in a low stress environment instead. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I'm with Dorie here. It's nice to volunteer, but not necessary. Did you look into the Cinnamon Trust? They might be more up your street. I volunteered at an Oxfam shop last summer. It was okay - lots of sexy posh students to serve, but it was dull as ditch-water otherwise. I went to see about being a guide at a National Trust farm but that would mean driving and that means having a car and insurance and MOT and blah blah blah. Too much effort. If you can find ways to be charitable just day to day, informally, that can be what you do to give back to the community. It could be as simple as a smile and a "hello" to an old dear at the bus stop. Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 It's interesting because people say "Oh yeh, sure volunteer..." but then it's actually very difficult to get in with some of these volunteer run organizations... I was offered some volunteer work today but I politely refused because I have enough responsibilities as it is. There comes a point when you need to focus on yourself and I'd never volunteer in order to make myself feel better about anything. It's got to be truly selfless and you'll only truly benefit if you volunteer expecting to gain nothing in return. I know, counter intuitive, but true. I agree with BetterDeal: see what you can do on a daily basis informally within your local community. You never know, opportunities might then present themselves to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 What is the purpose of volunteering? It sounds counterproductive if it stalls out your ability to work and costs you out of pocket. Ultimately, if volunteering doesn't benefit you, you may want to skip it and find work in a low stress environment instead. Volunteering would be a good way to get me used to working again, as I may only have to go once or twice a week. Also, it will make it more likely for me to be able to get a paying job which involves working with animals, since I haven't worked for many years. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Maybe do something closer to home that doesn't involve animals to get the work vibe then go from there? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 I'm with Dorie here. It's nice to volunteer, but not necessary. Did you look into the Cinnamon Trust? They might be more up your street. I volunteered at an Oxfam shop last summer. It was okay - lots of sexy posh students to serve, but it was dull as ditch-water otherwise. I went to see about being a guide at a National Trust farm but that would mean driving and that means having a car and insurance and MOT and blah blah blah. Too much effort. If you can find ways to be charitable just day to day, informally, that can be what you do to give back to the community. It could be as simple as a smile and a "hello" to an old dear at the bus stop. Yeah I looked at Cinnamon Trust, but it's hundreds of miles away from me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Change of plan. I'm going to try and get some sort of support system first, and then look into volunteering. Been looking on the MIND website. Link to post Share on other sites
Yellow_Duck'y Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Not sure if I can post direct links, but here are a few websites you can look into for volunteering with animals (if you haven't already looked into them): Direct Gov UK website (under "Home and Community") Animal Jobs Direct UK website RSPCA UK website Wildlife Aid UK website The Wildlife Trusts UK website The Blue Cross Animal Welfare Charity website The Dog Rescue Pages UK website Dogs Blog UK website The Cat Rescue Resource UK website Hopefully you can find something local. Hope it works out. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Start up a dog-walking business. Just need to print some leaflets and put them through doors to start with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 25, 2011 Author Share Posted August 25, 2011 Found where the nearest MIND is to me but it's really far away, I wouldn't know the directions in the car, and I wouldn't have enough guts to drive all that way anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted August 25, 2011 Author Share Posted August 25, 2011 I just hate doing this kind of stuff, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. There's so much stuff to read, so many links to click on which leads to even more stuff to read. I don't know which direction to go in, I find it all so duanting. And then in the end I just don't seem to get anywhere, and I just feel so depressed. It just feels like trying to climb a slippery mountain and I never get anywhere. I just feel like I don't have the mental energy for it. This is why I hate trying to do stuff like this. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 It's called "Yak Shaving" in computer programming circles - you set out to do one thing and 4 hours later find yourself shaving yak... Just find things that are going in near you. So long as they're not dangerous, give them a go. Being more open minded is one way to lose some anxiety. You might find, say, a church group nearby. Maybe in 6 weeks you'll wonder what the hell you were doing bashing a tambourine with a bunch of blue rinsers, but you might also enjoy it, and meet some nice people. Even if it doesn't turn out to be much fun, what harm has been done? Link to post Share on other sites
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