russell1968 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 THIS IS SO TRUE!!!!!! Every last word of it. WGW, Craig, myself, and anyone else on here who is going through this needs to get this tattooed on our forearms, Memento style. Yep, very true!! Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 (edited) and another thing.. I'm sure she's thinking yep, yet another time this f*cker doesn't listen to me and doesn't respect my feelings!! New guy does! Mainly cause new guy will do anything to get in her pants at this point, and I've opened the door for him! She also doesn't know new guy, not enough time to really get a sample of what he really is. I mean, on his second divorce at 36? Being a guy I can clearly see what this dude is.. she's doesn't know any better and is enjoying all the attention and the newness of it all. OH and he likes my family!! Oh, and he'll go shopping with me!! He bought me a new puuuuuurse!! Ohhh he drives an entry level Lexuussss.. woowoo. Hah.. thaaat girl is pooooooooooison.... Edited April 18, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 thaaat girl is pooooooooooison.... hahaha! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 Yeah she told me that I was pushing her further away,making her believe she was making the right choice by doing that. Said I was selfish. Guess she is done. Just weird that last week we spent all the time and even slept in the same bed together,heck the one night I tried to sleep on the couch she got pissed at me. Figures me trying to save our family makes her not want me anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 Steadfast. She's been pretty honest with me abiut everything and has said she's not seeing or speaking with him(or anybody). Not saying she couldn't be lying to me but she has been honest with everything so far. I'm sure he's not doing what I'm doing tho and making him seem a lot more interesting tho. She doesn't get that he probably doesn't care only knowing her for 4 months and we have 11 years,a marriage and a kid thats why I'm fighting for her. I don't get how things changed so quick from last week till now. Then i can't even get a reason from her? Bs! Thanks everyone Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 (edited) I almost want to share Steadfasts posts with her... like haha WE'RE ONTO YOU!! (of course, that would push her even FURTHER away, if thats possible, lol) Craig, man, you just gotta relax and realize she is playing you right now. She knows she has your wrapped around her finger. Don't let her know anymore! Edited April 18, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 What's worse is I started to have dreams abiut her now. So not only do I think about her non stop all day but I can't even escape her while I'm sleeping Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 What's worse is I started to have dreams abiut her now. So not only do I think about her non stop all day but I can't even escape her while I'm sleeping yep... shes been in my dreams for almost a year. You'll learn to deal... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 A year? Jesus,i can't imagine having to deal with this for that long. Funny how two weeks ago I had the girl vote that she was confused abiut us but I guess she just wanted to Fu-k with my head. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 A year? Jesus,i can't imagine having to deal with this for that long. Funny how two weeks ago I had the girl vote that she was confused abiut us but I guess she just wanted to Fu-k with my head. I'm extra sensitive and am pretty much obsessed with my ex, so results may vary. it'll probably be less time for you. I remember the first few months I'd wake up out of the blue and go to check on her and my son only to find the condo was empty, except for my senile jack russell terrier and my tropical fish. that really hurt. I can laugh about it now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 Isn't it funny(well not really) that we the one who wants are families all do the same thing. Beg,plead,chase,cry and the other spouse pretty much 110% of the time all follow suit and do and say what everyone here before us says they'll do,say. Yet we don't listen. We think they don't know us.they live in another state or even country. My wife would never do this to me but guess what? They are doing just that. Why is it so hard for me to not contact her? She's treat me like sh-t and I'm begging for more please. I would never let anyone do this to me, why her? Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Isn't it funny(well not really) that we the one who wants are families all do the same thing. Beg,plead,chase,cry and the other spouse pretty much 110% of the time all follow suit and do and say what everyone here before us says they'll do,say. Yet we don't listen. We think they don't know us.they live in another state or even country. My wife would never do this to me but guess what? They are doing just that. Why is it so hard for me to not contact her? She's treat me like sh-t and I'm begging for more please. I would never let anyone do this to me, why her? I promise you, she thinks she has been wronged, and this is payback. How about this? Maybe she is really happy now? In my case I don't know how my ex could be after all thats happened but maybe she thinks this OM is her soulmate or something? Maybe she finds him way more attractive then she ever did me? Who knows man. Yea, we're hurt cause we want our families and really, at the end of the day: MY WIFE PROMISED SOOOOO MUCH AND NEVER DELIVERED ON ANY OF IT!! She never gave me her heart, then blamed it on me saying she would've if I hadn't treated her poorly blah blah (copout). Its broken promises. Jealousy. Watching your child hurt because of it. The financial side.. the fact I'm dying to connect with her again, the fear that I may have peaked out with her.. all this stuff man. My God I haven't been laid in almost a YEAR. Its brutal. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I would never let anyone do this to me, why her? Because we (the royal 'we') suffer from the delusion that a series of right words or right gestures will make them snap out of their fog in the blink of an eye. I'm beginning to see the metaphorical relationship to the phrase "Never try to awaken a sleepwalker". This applies here, in marital-hell-ville. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 We couldn't have a kid for the longest time.took us over two years of trying drugs and finally surgery. How we could try so hard then and not now is crazy to me. Even tho I'm saying all this and would give anything to be a family again I'm feeling a little better today. I thought I was feeling a little better yesterday but wasn't sure. I know it's still early today but I don't want to call or text her. Hope it's not just for a bit Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 (edited) We couldn't have a kid for the longest time.took us over two years of trying drugs and finally surgery. How we could try so hard then and not now is crazy to me. Even tho I'm saying all this and would give anything to be a family again I'm feeling a little better today. I thought I was feeling a little better yesterday but wasn't sure. I know it's still early today but I don't want to call or text her. Hope it's not just for a bit see, you're struggling with the "HOW COULD SHE...." thing. Well, she can and she is. So, what are you gonna do Craig? I promise you, if do your best to snap out of this and be the best man you can be, she will take notice.. you won't have to say a word. And even if she doesn't, you'll be better for it, right?? I'll also add--- she doesn't want to feel ANY guilt about this. She just wants to move on and doesn't want any you to get in her way, most likely. I told my ex how I felt completely empty and useless w/o my family and she said I sounded DESPERATE. Its completely normal for a man to feel this way, she's either too ignorant or just doesn't care enough to think that through. From her perspective -- gosh I'm doing just fine, why is HE having such a hard time?? Must be something wrong with him... oh the OM is so dreamy!! Edited April 18, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 Of course I have questions who wouldn't? But you guys are right I'm wasting a lot of energy for nothing as what I'm doing is making things worse and I'm being a doormat. A lot has happened in the last two weeks that's why I want answers so bad. Thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I will post to you what I posted in another thread.... Hang in there and cut yourself some slack...Do our ex's drive us mad sometimes, YES!! I think because we try to apply logic to their actions when there is no logic. We look for answers or the truth because they will not give it to us and they tend to lay blame at our feet to knock us off-balance leading us to this state of mind. It's when we realize that there is absolutely nothing we can do about them, only ourselves that we finally break through to the other side of indifference and acceptance with internal introspection and push on with our lives and let go...even let go with love because at some point in our lives, we did love them and that's okay too. You will get there, it just takes time. It does get better. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I'm glad you re-posted this Trippi. Feel free to post it in my "Through the Separation Jungle" thread so that I have it in a place I can REMEMBER it. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 (edited) Thanks trippi. I take it you too were also acting crazy at one time like myself. How long did it take you to realize this? I can't wait for that day to come for me. Edited April 18, 2011 by Craig2425 Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Well Craig, we all do things that we later feel humbled for, regret ...etc. You do crazy things when you feel like the bottom is falling out from under you...when you can't let go of what you love because it is too painful, or you feel like the safety of what you had is being taken from you (your family unit). I guess with my exH, I stopped trying when he got with his other woman...more so, it was when I asked him to move out of his drinking buddies house, move in with his mom so we could work on us and to stop seeing this woman he only claimed to know for 2 weeks. He stood right about where I am sitting right now and said "I can't do that to HER!!". Yes, to a woman he had only known for 2 weeks...but could do all this hurt and pain to his wife and child of 15 years. He then moved in with her once she kicked her husband out a few days later. That was 16 months ago. I didn't beg for him back after that, I did move on....however; for a month or so, when they were at odds...he would text me up telling me the Grass Wasn't Greener....see my post -> http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=210902 (A little sentimental actually because my favorite pirate was active on that thread...missing my Gunny...) Or you may want to read this one...where the stress of it all led to an eventual breakdown....but I am still here...wounded and staying clear of emotional attachments almost 2 years later....http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222509/ Can't say that I have stopped acting crazy Craig...lol! I think it is a long process to healing...sometimes you start healing over and over again until you learn how to stop putting your hand in the fire. I guess it should be said, you can't heal until you take yourself out of the equation as part of the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 Thanks for posting the links I'm gonna check them out later tonight. It still amazes me that all of our stories and the things we've had said to us are so similar. Link to post Share on other sites
willowthewisp Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 A year? Jesus,i can't imagine having to deal with this for that long. Funny how two weeks ago I had the girl vote that she was confused abiut us but I guess she just wanted to Fu-k with my head. That's because we really thought your wife is like us, the women on LS are here precisely because we aren't like the women that walk, I thought your wife was confused. I still dream of my ex every night pretty much, it's been two years, it's exhausting and when I wake up now I am really p**** off that he is still in my mind. In the day, he isn't there as much as he used to be. I guess what I am trying to say is that it does get easier, it doesn't stay as raw, right now you are in the trauma stage. You asked Trippi how long it would be before you go NC and stop trying to get her back, reason with her? If it's any help, it was about 4 months for me and I have been NC ever since. I guess it is different for everyone, but there comes a point where you can't take them saying hurtful things and being cold with you anymore and you decide to jsut cut contact altogether to save yourself from the pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 I'm not blaming anyone here for advice. Just was stating that it sucks that two weeks ago even the ladies here thought she was confused and wanted to try. Trust me I wished that was the case Link to post Share on other sites
willowthewisp Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Oh I know you weren't, sorry if it sounded like that, I just wanted to explain why that advice was given. I wish it were too :-( Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 No worries. Just wanted you to know that I appreciate the advice. I'm sure everybody here wished that for everybody. I think I'm really starting to feel better. I would never hurt her on purpose and I'm pretty sick of the horrible things she's said to me. I'm wasting energy and getting things like I never loved you like I should for being marked I knew the day of our wedding we wouldn't make it The list goes on. Pretty shi--y things to say to someone trying to keep their family together. I can't take that hurt anymore I don't deserve that sh-t. I screwed up but nobody deserves to be hurt like that on purpose. Hope I continue to feel this way Link to post Share on other sites
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