FryFish Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 No matter what she tells you you will KNOW that she ****ed some other guy and that this other guy got to do what you never have... cum inside her without a condom. She is probably ****ing guys in Ireland RIGHT NOW!... lol... so what course of action are you going to take? and what could she possibly say to change your mind? Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 My course of action is that if I can't trust her after she's given me an explanation, I will break up with her. Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 She is either going to lie and say she DIDNT **** some other guy or tell the truth and say she DID **** some other guy... So what will your course of action be if she lies? What will it be if she tells the truth? Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 I don't know if I can believe her anymore. It is such a big lie, and I am having a hard time coping with the idea that her and I are going to break up. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 The problem is that she has continued to lie to you about all of this so why in the world would she tell you the truth now? You sound like a level headed guy so you really have to ask yourself how can you trust someone who apparently has had no problem lying to you? If she lied to you about these things then what else has she lied to you about and will lie to you about in the future? A successful relationship has to be built on trust, honesty and respect. This issues has shown you that she has failed on all three. I think you deserve better then worrying about whether or not your health will be at risk now or in the future. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 (edited) The problem is that she has continued to lie to you about all of this so why in the world would she tell you the truth now? You sound like a level headed guy so you really have to ask yourself how can you trust someone who apparently has had no problem lying to you? If she lied to you about these things then what else has she lied to you about and will lie to you about in the future? A successful relationship has to be built on trust, honesty and respect. This issues has shown you that she has failed on all three. I think you deserve better then worrying about whether or not your health will be at risk now or in the future. Good luck. You're absolutely right. I don't know if I can trust her anymore. It seems to me that the foundation of our relationship is cracked. I don't know if I can live with myself knowing that I can never be sure what she's up too, or what happened in this situation. I need to take my life into consideration, I'm nearly 25 years old, I have a chronic illness, and have 2 years of university left. I am working in my field already too, I have made such good progress in my life in the last couple of years. I don't need the added stress of this looming over my head, I need to stay focused on school, so I can continue on my path in life. Edited December 28, 2010 by teardrop86 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 Again it sounds like you have a solid future ahead of you. You may wish to consider setting up a polygraph test for her to take. It costs about $400 to $500. The reaction to this request may tell you a great deal. If she freaks out then it will tell you something. If she is enthusiastic to take it then it will also tell you something. Be clear that this issue is a deal breaker for you and that you cannot have a positive healthy relationship without feeling confident that you have all of the truth. Her lies have left you conflicted. Many times when it comes close to actually taking the test the cheater will confess beforehand. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 (edited) Again it sounds like you have a solid future ahead of you. You may wish to consider setting up a polygraph test for her to take. It costs about $400 to $500. The reaction to this request may tell you a great deal. If she freaks out then it will tell you something. If she is enthusiastic to take it then it will also tell you something. Be clear that this issue is a deal breaker for you and that you cannot have a positive healthy relationship without feeling confident that you have all of the truth. Her lies have left you conflicted. Many times when it comes close to actually taking the test the cheater will confess beforehand. I wish you luck. I've never thought of things from this perspective. If she truly was telling the truth then she would have no issues taking the polygraph test. If she's serious about winning me back, then she would be willing to do whatever it takes to gain my trust again. My question is, if I propose this to her, does it make me come across as a psychopath? Edited December 28, 2010 by teardrop86 Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 No... Just someone who isnt planning on being this bitches chump... But the evidence you ALREADY HAVE is pretty damning man... Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 I don't want to be played for a fool. Maybe I will bring this up on Saturday, see what's truly going on. Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 Bring what up? Dude... you have to be willing to actually FOLLOW THROUGH with a lie detector test... That means if you are going to do it you need to have a place already picked out before you even bring it up to her... then call them to set up an appointment right in front of her the very second she agrees... Make sure you have the money AND the balls to actually do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 I do not think this comes across as being a psychopath. It is due to her lying to you that has caused of all of this. If she had been truthful from the beginning then you would not even be talking about this. The fact is that you have caught her in lies which makes impossible for you to discern the truth. The polygraph is just a tool to help you in finding the truth which again would nit have been a problem if she had not lied to you. I think you are absolutely correct that if she wants to take it that it will say a great deal. Have some fun with it and maybe make a deal that if it comes out the way she said then you will take her to her favorite place for dinner. The bottom line is that you have to protect your health and your integrity. If she is lying to you (which I suspect) then she is showing you that she is dishonest and has no respect for you and putting your health at risk for STD's. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 Bring what up? Dude... you have to be willing to actually FOLLOW THROUGH with a lie detector test... That means if you are going to do it you need to have a place already picked out before you even bring it up to her... then call them to set up an appointment right in front of her the very second she agrees... Make sure you have the money AND the balls to actually do it. I'm going to have a place picked out then. If she's willing to do it I will book it on the spot. Money isn't an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 (edited) I do not think this comes across as being a psychopath. It is due to her lying to you that has caused of all of this. If she had been truthful from the beginning then you would not even be talking about this. The fact is that you have caught her in lies which makes impossible for you to discern the truth. The polygraph is just a tool to help you in finding the truth which again would nit have been a problem if she had not lied to you. I think you are absolutely correct that if she wants to take it that it will say a great deal. Have some fun with it and maybe make a deal that if it comes out the way she said then you will take her to her favorite place for dinner. The bottom line is that you have to protect your health and your integrity. If she is lying to you (which I suspect) then she is showing you that she is dishonest and has no respect for you and putting your health at risk for STD's. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Good luck. This is really helpful advice. Thank you so much! I have the number and name of a place already. Edited December 28, 2010 by teardrop86 Link to post Share on other sites
michaelhopes Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 If at any time, in any relationship, one person asks another to take a polygraph test, that relationship is already over. Work on your career and when the grief from losing this relationship subsides ask yourself what red flags did you miss about this girl. There were red flags. You just didnt see them because you were in too big of a hurry to not be alone. The best thing for you right now is to be alone and be OK with that. Take your time and choose wisely Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 29, 2010 Author Share Posted December 29, 2010 (edited) I'm so torn up, I don't know what to do anymore. The more I think about it the harder it becomes. It's bad enough that I have to bring this up to her, but what's worse is the wait until Saturday. I feel like falling to pieces right now. My mom keeps saying that I need to remain neutral and hear her story before I begin to make my decision. She also said, to sit next to my girlfriend, look her in the eyes, hold her hand, and ask her flat out if she cheated on me after I've heard my girlfriend out. edit: My mom and uncle also asked me not to go into our conversation on Saturday with a negative attitude, they said I needed to be logical, neutral, strong, and concerned. Edited December 29, 2010 by teardrop86 Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 29, 2010 Author Share Posted December 29, 2010 Listen. I feel for you bro, I really do. I say go with your gut with this one. A lot of posters on here will reflect their past experiences of being cheated on into their opinion as to what they think happened. Things are not always what they seem in life. Did she cheat ? Probably. Is there a possibility she didn't ? Anything in life is possible. The lieing is a big red flag. My advice is don't interrogate her. When she comes home, leave a copy of the credit card print out where she can see it, and write on the bottom, when your ready to be truthful then I will take the time to talk to you, other then that best of luck. Chances are you are going to never know the real truth. Go no contact. Cut off all communication with her. This all boils down to what you are willing to tolerate. If I were you, I would of ended it at the lieing. I like your idea about leaving the Visa bill out in the open. The issue is that I am picking her up from the airport on Saturday night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 29, 2010 Author Share Posted December 29, 2010 If you feel that strongly about this, I would contact her and advise her you cannot pick her up from the airport and have her take a cab and make alternate arrangements. This will raise a flag in her mind and she will know that something is up. Again its up to you. This is 50/50. 50% percent she cheated, 50% conjecture. You know her best, we are just anonymous posters expressing our opinions as to what we think happened. I don't assume the worst in any situation, but given the fact that she lied, I would tend to lean on the side of she is not trustworthy. Even if she lied for a friend, why compromise a relationship and lie to help a friend ? That's what I don't understand. Why would she put our relationship in jeopardy for a friend of hers? Link to post Share on other sites
michaelhopes Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 Never tip your hand if you dont have to...... I would suggest that you do not tell her that you looked at her Visa bill. Ask her straight out if she bought the Plan B for a friend. I would suggest that between now and Saturday you accept that its over ,so that when you do see her youre not a drama queen pile of mush. You'll be a hell of a lot more proud of yourself in the future.....and women will have a lot more respect for you Link to post Share on other sites
USCGAviator Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 Reading your posts I have a hard time believing that you have a solid backbone in this relationship. Based on the hard evidence you have from the purchase to her acct and her blatant lie that she had no idea what she bought is grounds for immediate curb kicking. Were not talking about a purchase at taco bell or red lobster. And still with this evidence your trying to rationalize and come up with some kind of excuse for her. Sadly your fishing for someone here to tell you to hear her side of the story. And even more sad your probably gonna get suckered back in after you let her lie through her teeth and woo you back in. Doormat much? Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 Ya you chump... She lets some other guy cum inside her and you are gonna go pick her up from the airport? Let the other guy go get her FFS! Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 We know that she LIED about looking it up the night after partying all night and she bought it the next day... We know enough to know what happened. We KNOW she cheated and we KNOW she was worried about becoming pregnant. We also know that the OP doesnt want to accept this. If YOU dont like my posts you can put me on ignore... forthwith. Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 If what the OP has told us is the truth then the evidence is damning for her. Statistically, MOST people cheat... Given statistics, circumstance, evidence, and anything else weighing in here, there is a 99.9999% chance he is dealing with a girl who cheated on him a very short time ago... 1 in a million that everything is on the level... We know she cheated as surely as we know that if you drop something it will accelerate towards the center of the earth. There is a very small chance it wont but for all intents and purposes is safe to "know" that it will... Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegood Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 I am sorry, but a number of things about this story are really irking me. So much so that I actually signed up for LS to comment. First of all, if you read her Visa account statement for a transaction that happened on Dec 7th, this statement would have come to her home fairly recently. As in, you opened her private mail/logged into her private banking account to get this information. WTF dude? That goes beyond snooping. Second of all, I think your talking to her boss (your uncle) about this situation is way out of line. Even if your girlfriend DID cheat, it does not mean she is not responsible within her job and therefore cannot be trusted to handle money. Also, her job is not your business and something you should not be messing with. The fact that you are considering this makes you sound extremely manipulative. It has gotten to the point that I wouldn't really blame her if she cheated. You kind of sound like a psychopath. All in all, the "evidence" you've provided, doesn't convince me that she cheated. And a polygraph test? REALLY? I'm sorry buddy, but reading this frustrated me. A lot. If I were her I would RUN AWAY as fast as I could! Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 29, 2010 Author Share Posted December 29, 2010 This thread has become a little too negative/toxic for my liking. I'm sorry that you feel that I'm a psychopath but I'm not. Just an FYI: the Visa bill was laying on the floor in plain sight and I picked it up, I didn't go searching for it. I don't think I will be coming back here until I speak with my girlfriend on Saturday. The negativity is messing with my head, it's ironic really, I came to LS for clarification and some insight, and all I got was negativity and accusations. Link to post Share on other sites
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