Girls who are size ZERO and smaller look GREAT

[tinktronik]

She shifted the perspective from the first post to the second. I responded to her first post. Her second post was unrealistic. I might as well answer a question about having one pink elephant for a child and one blue elephant.

 

As far as letting a plain or ugly child know they were plain/ugly. No. I would encourage their strengths, rather than insult them unnecessarily. For the child who's attractive, I would also encourage her strengths.

 

Not sure why this is such a difficult concept to understand. It's not rocket science.

 

As a mother of 3, I absolutely agree with you. If I did not point to one child's accomplishments or strengths due to the other's lack of accomplishment in that area for fear they would somehow lose self-esteem because of it I would never ever compliment any of my children on anything.

 

While I do encourage my children to dream big, I also encourage them subtly to dream realistic and to go for whatever it is they want, wether it be astronaut or beach bum. I also make sure my children know about the costs associated with certain choices of career or family raising in life. If you coddle and sugarcoat your children will never be able to navigate in the real world.

[Crazy Magnet]

So I didn't read the entire thread but I entirely agree with the OP. I'm one of those tiny girls, about 5'5" and 105lbs. I've been this weight since I was 16 (now 30) and it doesn't matter what I eat or how much of it I eat, I stay exactly the same. I'm also very curvy (32-D, wide hips, cute butt) and I can't TELL you the number of people who feel it's perfectly acceptable to tell me to "gain weight" or tell me to "eat more" and what not.

 

Typically, on an average day at least one person will feel the need to tell me this. From the lady I purchase my lunch from, to someone in a clothing store, to a work colleague. Ugh. I hate it. It's so freaking rude and disrespectful. I would never walk up to a fat girl and tell her to set down the cheeseburger so why is it ok for a fat girl to tell me to "fatten up?"

 

It's NOT OK!!!!

 

My favorite is when someone tells me to eat more and then screams at their friend nearby, "Hey look at this tiny girl, doesn't she need to eat??" like I'm not even there. WTF?!? When did it become ok to insult me to my face because I'm smaller? Why is ok to be rude to me because....I have no idea, because I'm what society deems pretty?

 

Don't even get me started on clothing. I'm a 00 if I can ever find them. When did the world stop making clothing for small people? My mom and grandmother were the same size as me and never had problems finding clothes when they were my age. It's so frustrating. Sometimes I can find stuff in the Jr's section but who wants to shop there at 30? Shirts there never fit because my boobs are too big.

 

aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is one of the most frustrating things I deal with on a daily basis.

[LoveLace]

I am a former anorexic myself...horrible way to live. I think society has put more emphasis on "fuller" sized women because they are trying to discourage this very dangerous, self consuming behavior. The media is a huge influence on women and the way they want to look, so I think some of that media has finally taken a small amount of responsibilty for that. But it's also lead to judgment of very thin girls, the same way there has always been judgement about very over weight girls.

 

Society has tried harder to say "it's okay to have a little meat on your bones". So, very thin girls might have to deal with the heat that comes with that. Which makes it even, because average sized women have always dealt with being told they are too fat, while they are not. However those who are very over weight should continue to be educated on the whole losing weight issue..

[theBrokenMuse]

Typically, on an average day at least one person will feel the need to tell me this. From the lady I purchase my lunch from, to someone in a clothing store, to a work colleague. Ugh. I hate it. It's so freaking rude and disrespectful. I would never walk up to a fat girl and tell her to set down the cheeseburger so why is it ok for a fat girl to tell me to "fatten up?"

Do you ask to speak to the managers of these establishments when people make these comments to you? It is NOT ACCEPTABLE for employees of any establishment of which you are a valued customer to be making any disparaging remarks about you in that manner and maybe if enough women speak up and complain the point will get across when these untactful people end up getting a pink slip for driving away business. Hanging around my sister who happens to be extremely thin, I have never personally witnessed this happen but if I did I would be spitting mad.

 

I have only had one server make a "women like you don't need to be ordering that" type of snide remark to me (during my birthday dinner out with my friends no less) and I as well as my friends made sure that the manager knew that this person had made statements that were completely out of line and we would not again be visiting their establishment as long as they supported keeping bigots on their waitstaff. No one should be subjected to that kind of treatment. It is unprofessional and unnecessary.

[D-Lish]

I believe it is encouraged to a degree. Rivalry, competitiveness, and snotty behavior is high among women today, and I believe has been for the last 20 something years. For example, look at what we view as young celebrities today. The Hills, Jersey Shore... superficiality and cattiness is celebrated in the media. There is a reason why so many women say that they get along better with men than those of their own gender. It's sad, really. We are our own worst enemy.

 

You're right Lisa, we are, and it's been going on since the beginning of time.

That's why I make it a habit of embracing other women instead of playing into the rivalry.

 

I make it a point every day when I am floating amongst the stores in my district to fit women and let them know how amazing they look. I'm not particularly confident, but that's the thing- I know most women aren't overly confident- so in having that insight, I feel I have some sort of duty to make women feel good about themselves. I think that's really important.

 

I'm not an exceptional salesperson in the sense that I can sell anyone anything by throwing out false compliments or turn on some sort of false charm. Because my job entails dealing with women- I rely on sincerity- and I am a strong advocate of selling confidence.

 

When I see a post from a guy advocating for size zero frames, it bothers me a lot. Sadly, women of all ages/shapes/stages of life will read it and possibly embrace it as the norm for what all men want.

 

Green likes what he likes-and he's chosen to post about what he likes- and that's fine. As much as Green likes what he likes, there are copious amounts of other men that don't celebrate skin and bones. Unfortunately. any woman reading this thread will feel the impact of one opinion over a majority that says otherwise.

[BB07]

I find that women are their own worst critics. I rarely look at other women and think harsh thoughts, but I certainly beat myself up if I put on a few lbs, notice cellulite, or a facial wrinkle.

 

Everyone carries their weight differently. I am 5'7" and am currently 125lbs. I have been fluctuating back and forth between that and 130- but if I go over 130, I start to notice the weight in my face, hips and boobs and that bothers me. I can wear anything from a size 2 to an 8 depending on the manufacturer- sizing isn't at all universal.

 

Right now my bra size is a 30H- small back and big boobs, and I find bigger boobs make me look bigger all over which makes me uncomfortable:(.

 

I size women for a living, and it saddens me, the amount of women that aren't comfortable in their own skin. When I size someone I do everything in my power to make them feel great about themselves. The smallest of women have just as much body insecurities as a size 20- and to be honest, a lot of larger women celebrate themselves more than some of the smaller women- and that confidence is really sexy! I admire women like that.

 

There is always going to be someone that is going to pass judgement on you because you don't measure up to their ideal weight, height, intelligence, age, etc. Screw 'em!

 

Posts like these remind me how important it is to compliment a stranger. It may seem strange, but I make a habit of telling strangers that they look great in a pair of boots, that they are rockin' an outfit, that they have great legs, etc. I think as women we should all try and do that more often to one another. I don't know about anyone else, but a compliment from a stranger often means more than a compliment from someone you know.

 

What a lovely post D-Lish..........you rock girl!

[theBrokenMuse]

Green likes what he likes-and he's chosen to post about what he likes- and that's fine.

Green likes what he likes and is entitled to do so, however his many fat women bashing threads or threads about thin women that are put together so that they purposely lead into fat bashing threads is not okay, imo. There are ways to state you like something without going out of your way to degrade entire groups of people. It is immature and it is cruel and it needs to stop.

[threebyfate]

As a mother of 3, I absolutely agree with you. If I did not point to one child's accomplishments or strengths due to the other's lack of accomplishment in that area for fear they would somehow lose self-esteem because of it I would never ever compliment any of my children on anything.

 

While I do encourage my children to dream big, I also encourage them subtly to dream realistic and to go for whatever it is they want, wether it be astronaut or beach bum. I also make sure my children know about the costs associated with certain choices of career or family raising in life. If you coddle and sugarcoat your children will never be able to navigate in the real world.

That's a great way to do it, explaining the ramifications of major life decisions. This will hopefully provide them with a solid internal compass when it comes time to take the left or right fork in the road. Every major decision can be costly, where the cost falls solely on the shoulders of the decision maker. As well, every major decision can have big returns, which also fall solely on the shoulders of the decision makers. Parents don't live forever.

 

To tie this into the opening post, if someone makes the choice of living a healthy lifestyle, their body will pay returns. If someone makes the choice of living an unhealthy lifestyle, their body will also speak but not in a nice way.

Edited October 18, 2010 by threebyfate

[D-Lish]

Green likes what he likes and is entitled to do so, however his many fat women bashing threads or threads about thin women that are put together so that they purposely lead into fat bashing threads is not okay, imo. There are ways to state you like something without going out of your way to degrade entire groups of people. It is immature and it is cruel and it needs to stop.

 

Well, there are many ways to stop it and make a difference at the same time.

 

Firstly and foremost;

1) don't buy into it.

Secondly;

2) don't give credence to it by responding.

3) Make a point of telling another woman they look great tomorrow when you encounter them.

[threebyfate]

D, Green has a few demons within him, of which one is that he has openly stated that he enjoys putting women down. It's a control issue on his part and IMO, that he battles with his own masculinity or sense of it, from what I've seen on LS.

[alphamale]

Size zero and smaller women look really hot.

i don't want to have sex with skin 'n bones. size 4 to 6 is more my type

[D-Lish]

D, Green has a few demons within him, of which one is that he has openly stated that he enjoys putting women down. It's a control issue on his part and IMO, that he battles with his own masculinity or sense of it, from what I've seen on LS.

 

Well aware of said demons, lol... But here we are, responding to the antagonism regardless.

[theBrokenMuse]

1) don't buy into it.

I don't but I'm strong and have been for a very long time... there are so many who are not though and while we can't shelter people from the harsh reality that bigots in all forms exist everywhere it would be nice if we could keep it to a minimum on this forum.

2) don't give credence to it by responding.

I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. - Elie Weisel

 

3) Make a point of telling another woman they look great tomorrow when you encounter them.

I will

[D-Lish]

I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. - Elie Weisel

 

And of course you should never be stifled BM, that's not what I meant my friend- only that there are times to rise above antagonism.

 

A tormentor only has credence when we give them that advantage of affecting us.

[theBrokenMuse]

A tormentor only has credence when we give them that advantage of affecting us.

Well yes and no... ignoring folks works with some attention seeking trolls but I think it is important that when someone does make openly bigoted comments that people let them know this is not acceptable behavior and is not going to be tolerated just like people do with openly racial slurs and gay bashing when it is done in the public arena. A complete lack of opposition allows for this type of behavior to drastically ramp up since it's going completely unchallenged while being validated by other like minded individuals.

[brainygirl]

Well yes and no... ignoring folks works with some attention seeking trolls but I think it is important that when someone does make openly bigoted comments that people let them know this is not acceptable behavior and is not going to be tolerated just like people do with openly racial slurs and gay bashing when it is done in the public arena. A complete lack of opposition allows for this type of behavior to drastically ramp up since it's going completely unchallenged while being validated by other like minded individuals.

 

I have to agree with this just looking at the change in tone since I started teh "find them" thread. The mods have taken down lots of unpleasant posts and a couple of the guilty parties have backed off the aggressively anti-female posts.

 

I don't want to see things go the other way, with rampant anti guy posts, but its nice to be able to read a thread without having something so hateful waiting. I think directly and calmly confronting the culprits helps with that.

 

so Green, your attitude towards women's bodies is disturbing. Please keep it to yourself.

[D-Lish]

Well yes and no... ignoring folks works with some attention seeking trolls but I think it is important that when someone does make openly bigoted comments that people let them know this is not acceptable behavior and is not going to be tolerated just like people do with openly racial slurs and gay bashing when it is done in the public arena. A complete lack of opposition allows for this type of behavior to drastically ramp up since it's going completely unchallenged while being validated by other like minded individuals.

 

 

Just as long as you also pay attention to the individuals that don't give credence to those arguments, who agree with you, and choose to speak out against it just like you do. The key to moving anything forward? Momentum.

[sanskrit]

Have you ever stopped to think that tossing around terms like "oppressor," "tormentor," "bigot," and "culprit" is just as bad if not worse in a thread where OP states he likes 0 size women, and -several- men have replied that they prefer heavier women?

 

Hyperbole, "band-wagoning," and the tendency to keep harping and harping over and over and over about an OP's supposed character flaws cause these threads to go pear-shaped moreso than whatever the OP in question posted.

[Green]

I post this thread and so many posters twist and turn my words because their own insecurities.

 

I used the example of telling woman to lose weight or eat less to show how ridiculous it is that people regularly tell pretty woman to gain weight and eat more out of jealousy.

 

I find it funny that every time I post about not enjoying fat women some one brings up pregnancy. I have no problem with pregnant women looking pregnant. It’s just that it seems like every woman looks pregnant these days. (especially the ones who are not)

 

I’m not surprised at all this thread has degenerated into bashing thin women and the men who enjoy it.

 

Finally I want to make it clear I don’t celebrate (skin and bones) I celebrate healthy looking women who are thin. (You know sexy) Any time a thread on here comes up where some silly guys rants he likes women with curves (aka over 160lbs) he’s given high fives and praised. I don’t think most if any women look healthy over 160lbs. Women who eat 4-5 meals a day and get recommended cal’s and have healthy skin and fat (real curves like nice shaped butt good hips and nice shaped breast) and weigh and look good(what used to be normal until processed foods and now considered thin)… that’s what I like.

[D-Lish]

That's not at all what you called for in your headline though Green.

 

What you have is a bunch of girls that are reading your headline that a size 00 is desired- when most of these girls are struggling with size 6 - both above and under.... and they are questioning themselves because of your post.

 

The things you say do affect people- anonymous or not. It's actually turned into a thread about women feeling bad about themselves.

[Green]

I don't care if people get insecure thats on them not me. Seriously if my gf had big breasts and all day random woman told her "you need to tape those down" I'd make a thread "I love big breasts"... What I do have is a sexy as hell gf and jelouse people (mostly women) who feel the need to stay stuff like "eat more" and "to skinny" ect. in nasty rude ways.

 

I hope I made the beautiful women like Crazy Magnet who have to put up with this crap feel better about themselves. Seriously I'm so tired of it and I've seen it first hand.

 

I'm also not tired of the reverse discrimination I have to endure because of fat people. Seriously

[porter218]

I don't care if people get insecure thats on them not me. Seriously if my gf had big breasts and all day random woman told her "you need to tape those down" I'd make a thread "I love big breasts"... What I do have is a sexy as hell gf and jelouse people (mostly women) who feel the need to stay stuff like "eat more" and "to skinny" ect. in nasty rude ways.

 

I hope I mad the beautiful women like Crazy Magnet who have to put up with this crap feel better about themselves. Seriously I'm so tired of it and I've seen it first hand.

 

I'm also not tired of the reverse discrimination I have to endure because of fat people. Seriously

I don't know if you noticed...but you have at least 3 girls with anorexia commenting on this thread. Not to mentioned the ones that just read it and didn't post.

 

And also...why does it bother you so much? I get those comments too, but I don't care. I like how I look and could care less what someone else says about it. If I had a bf that got pissed about it I would think thats even more odd. You're happy, she's happy(?) so whats the big deal?

[Green]

I can't take responsibility for peoples body issues. I think its sad that you think I should keep quite about liking women who arn't fat because it will cause anorexia. I don't like the way anorexic women look. I like the way women who eat 4-5 meals a day and work out (a little bit but not to much) look. It's actualy a really easy body to achieve for young women who don't eat/drink processed foods and do a small amount of physical activities.

[Knittress]

Yeah, well, isn't your girlfriend medically underweight according to the BMI? (And no, I'm not hating on her - but seriously? Not something to shoot for. ) And not that the BMI is perfect but a woman who's 5'8" can weigh as much as 164 pounds and still not be overweight, much less "fat."

[theBrokenMuse]

And also...why does it bother you so much? I get those comments too, but I don't care. I like how I look and could care less what someone else says about it. If I had a bf that got pissed about it I would think thats even more odd. You're happy, she's happy(?) so whats the big deal?

I can understand why he would be upset about people mistreating his girlfriend but the post wasn't composed to show offense about his girlfriend being wronged as much as it was to quickly transition into the whole spiel about how women should be and how hideous he thinks fat women look as opposed to his preferred type, yada, yada, yada. It's just wash, rinse and repeat with these bashing threads. Hell, not even the insults are new.