brainygirl Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Sounds like a mess. My rule of thumb is to avoid jealousy. If I feel like I need to snoop through his stuff to confirm he was or wasn't up to no good, its already time to end things right then and there. Because at that point, it isn't about him, its about me. I have to trust someone. If they aren't trustworthy, it doesn't matter whats actually happened or not. On the other hand, I am a very private person. I hate to have my stuff messed with and my actions and location tracked. If a guy wants to date me, he has to accept that I might not tell him everywhere I've been, everyone I've spoken too, or what all I've done. She was wrong for snooping in his wallet and on his account, he was wrong for offering exclusivity and then not sticking to it. This relationship needs to end.
shadowplay Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 What I find most interesting about this thread the forgiving attitude about infidelity, displayed by both the OP and her friends. I suspect it's partly a result of living in NYC, where it's apparently much harder for women to pin down a desirable man. There's also the man's social status to consider. If a woman lands a guy at the top of the heap, I guess she's far more willing to put up with prickish behavior. It's almost expected.
brainygirl Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Well, CE, you stated in another post that you are not thin and are like a 32 FF or something....you have to have junk in your trunk to be that big, and honestly most men are going to see that as a freakshow rather than hot. I know your engaged and whatnot but....yeah, I could see how you could be hard on a poster with a great bod and pretty. Because she must be pretty to have caught the interest of a rich guy who likes to cheat on people he's supposedly exclusive with? And if she is pretty, well, that excuses the behavior of snooping and invading his privacy? nope, it was just a random comment meant to get people mad.
Star Gazer Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Well, CE, you stated in another post that you are not thin and are like a 32 FF or something....you have to have junk in your trunk to be that big, and honestly most men are going to see that as a freakshow rather than hot. I know your engaged and whatnot but....yeah, I could see how you could be hard on a poster with a great bod and pretty. CE may not be like bone-rail thin (gross), but she IS slender from what I've seen and very pretty. I mean, just look at her pictures and avatar, for crying out loud. I'm not sure where you get these ideas...
2sunny Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 It's just rude the way it was stated and run in the ground to the poster, though. I do sense bitterness, because she is obviously attractive and has a nice body, this is getting to some of you. no one made mention of her body, attractiveness or anything about her looks. why are you? looks never came into this equation. this has nothing to do with looks. we are going off of behavior... to which you aren't acknowledging. how is your post even slightly helpful? stop being accusatory to others when there is no reason. start being helpful to the OP.
brainygirl Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 blunt... more so rude. why post anything personal here about another poster? POST ABOUT YOURSELF. stop being rude, critical and mean spirited. get back on topic. this isn't helpful! She identifies with the behavior of the OP and considers it reasonable, so she's attacking the most eloqent voice pointing out that the behavior isn't appropriate. Discredit the poster, discredit her opinions, establish legitimacy for her own points. There are political parties who often do this.
Pyro Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 CE was particularly hard on the poster and what I stated isn't any different. CE has stated she isn't that slender and with FFs breasts or something...lots of men in NYC or anywhere else wouldn't find that even close to attractive but freakish, sorry. her face really isn't that slender when you look at it on the avatar and you can't see the body. But with that huge of boobs, they're going to be sagging big time, especially as they get older and that big on that short of girl just doesn't look that good. since we are being blunt, as CE was about the OP, I'm being blunt, too. and I'm assuming you are single.
Citizen Erased Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Well, CE, you stated in another post that you are not thin and are like a 32 FF or something....you have to have junk in your trunk to be that big, and honestly most men are going to see that as a freakshow rather than hot. I know your engaged and whatnot but....yeah, I could see how you could be hard on a poster with a great bod and pretty. I'm a 30F. And 30 is thin. But nice try.
Pyro Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 You assume incorrectly. But star gazer is. kudos to him for tolerating you.
2sunny Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 my point was is if you and CE are going to be rude and critical to the OP, I'm going to do the same to such posters. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: i pointed out actions and behavior to the OP that she and her man were exhibiting that may have been causing her confusion without being mean... just honest. if you don't recognize the difference then i'm not surprised.
brainygirl Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 You assume incorrectly. But star gazer is. And that means she has no right to think that going through a man's wallet is inappropriate?
brainygirl Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 OP, please don't think that PC is in any way being reasonable. I think you need to just let this one go and consider yourself lucky, he has issues that you don't want to deal with. And next time you are tempted to poke through a wallet, don't, cause its rude.
2sunny Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 and when he exhibits behavior that shows clearly he is ONLY into you - then you can believe that he's seriously only seeing you. a guy who is most always missing one night of each weekend is usually seeing someone else too.
IronMaiden Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 This guy is not trustworthy and he has more game than you are giving him credit for. He dated a model, had a gorgeous ex, and he has you wanting to keep hold of him too. He is not necessarily wanting to upgrade, he is just really enjoying the fact that he can date MULTIPLE women at once and pull it off. And, he has learned that by being so nice, and considerate, he gets more women. Plain and simple. Not because he really IS so nice. He also knows that talking about kids and the white picket fence is a GREAT way to score with women in their late 20's...
Star Gazer Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 But star gazer is. I'm sorry, but why are you bringing my love life into this thread??
2sunny Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 This guy is not trustworthy and he has more game than you are giving him credit for. He dated a model, had a gorgeous ex, and he has you wanting to keep hold of him too. He is not necessarily wanting to upgrade, he is just really enjoying the fact that he can date MULTIPLE women at once and pull it off. And, he has learned that by being so nice, and considerate, he gets more women. Plain and simple. Not because he really IS so nice. He also knows that talking about kids and the white picket fence is a GREAT way to score with women in their late 20's... i'd call that game. so is wooing women with weekends away and expensive dinners... he's got game...
elaina Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 my point was is if you and CE are going to be rude and critical to the OP, I'm going to do the same to such posters. I reported you for what you wrote against CE, which I think is extremely rude, to talk badly about her body in such a manner. Even though I don't know her, from her pictures, I think she is beautiful. Your words are extremely offensive against her for no reason. Besides, just because you consider someone is being rude to somebody else, that doesn't mean you should be rude too. if you think someone is being rude, tell them "you're being rude" without insulting them, and/or report them, like I did you. To the person who wrote this thread, if you are scared that he is cheating and you have talked to him and you're not willing to trust him, then wouldn't the best thing for you to do be to let him go? Trust is really important in exclusive relationships.
naya1 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 nah. too much work girl.. to hire an investigator or w/e. peace of mind over money
BWLoca Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Man, I feel bad for any newcomers to this board, who innocently post a thread on here looking for advice. It must be like being hit with this sudden WTF wave of bitterness. Agree. I think she gets it now. "Snooping is bad." Moving on... Yeah, if you have to get a private investigator, it's really not worth it.
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