Badmotorfinger Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Actually, I make a very good living. And yes, there's a lot of "room for improvement". One of the major reasons I am sticking to this place is that its moderate size translates to more opportunities in terms of the types of projects I'm involved in, and how quickly I can progress. Not to brag (because money doesn't have much to do with this convo) but I'd be hard-pressed to too many people my age making more of it than I do. Add in the fact that 2 years ago I had ISSUES what with being a drug addicted stripper and all, and I think my rate of acceleration into the upper middle class has been phenomenal. I'd say that's "moderately ambitious". Ok, well, you can set your standards as high (or low) as you'd like, honey. Good luck. I'm one of those people who see money as pieces of green paper and nothing more, so anybody bragging about accumulating pieces of green paper.. eh, wouldn't really work with me because I know that it doesn't bring direct happiness, nor do I personally need green pieces of paper to validate my personal achievements or make me happy. Honestly, though, there is a point where it can get ridiculous with the high standards related to things that don't really have much to do with actual compatibility to a person. You don't WANT to be a walking job interview, no one wants to feel like everything they say is being recorded to be later analyzed..
EasyHeart Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Maybe this will sound shallow, but I lose absolutely all interest in a guy if: -his career does not appear to be at least on its way to being better than mine -he isn't athletic I don't care if the guy is short, bald, ugly, whatever, I don't even care about the lifestyle that the career in question can buy, but to me, the above signify a lack of ambition or intelligence and a willingness to settle for mediocrity, which in addition to being HUGE turnoff's, make me reason that the person in question will hold me back/ bring me down. I don't really see this as changing anytime soon, but I am wondering: is this shallow?? IMO, your question is kind of silly only because the things you describe are the exact opposite of shallow. Ambition and athleticism (which I'm interpreting as someone committed to a healthy lifestyle, rather than a requirement that they have Olympic gold medals) are completely within a person's control and are a reflection of their personality and character. How on Earth could those things be considered shallow? One question, though: How do you determine ambition or athleticism from a OLD profile? It's certainly not something I would put on a profile. In fact, I tend to downplay those kinds of things, and I do my best not to talk about my career at all on the first few dates. Gotta avoid the golddiggers, y'know. . . . One other thing you should keep in mind: those ambitious and athletic guys may not be looking for the same things you are. Men aren't necessarily looking for women as rich and successful as they are. I've noticed this with my sister and some of my friends, all of whom are educated, successful women. They seem to think the doctors, lawyers and CEOs should be falling all over their female counterparts, but they're not. Many of those men are looking for ex-cheerleaders who want to be stay-at-home moms.
Star Gazer Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I am wondering if OKCupid is the place for you to go. You ought to join Crossfit--the gym is bursting with these types of guys. Agreed! But at mine they're all married!
Star Gazer Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Tell me more. I run a lot but I'm a long-distance runner. No sprints for me. I am concerned that the workouts will kill me. That said, I'm extremely competitive, so I could probably get in the spirit. What do you think? Could I be CrossFit material?? Yes!! Do it, Spook!! You'll become addicted!! I know I am... It's AWESOME.
hydorclops Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 IMO, your question is kind of silly only because the things you describe are the exact opposite of shallow. Ambition and athleticism (which I'm interpreting as someone committed to a healthy lifestyle, rather than a requirement that they have Olympic gold medals) are completely within a person's control and are a reflection of their personality and character. How on Earth could those things be considered shallow? Ambition and athleticism do not say anything about character. You can be a vicious psychopath and be ambitious and athletic. She used the word shallow but her thread title is about being too picky. Picky isn't shallow. Too picky is hard to quantify.
EasyHeart Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Ambition and athleticism do not say anything about character. You can be a vicious psychopath and be ambitious and athletic.Of course they do. They don't say anything about whether you have a personality disorder or other mental health problems, but they certainly say a lot about what kind of person you are. Picky isn't shallow. Too picky is hard to quantify.This I'll agree with. And personally, I don't think it's possible to be too picky (unless you follow it up with whining!)
D-Jam Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Without respect, there's can't be love. Perusing profiles on OkC, my awareness of how I dish out respect has been heightened. Maybe this will sound shallow, but I lose absolutely all interest in a guy if: -his career does not appear to be at least on its way to being better than mine -he isn't athletic I don't care if the guy is short, bald, ugly, whatever, I don't even care about the lifestyle that the career in question can buy, but to me, the above signify a lack of ambition or intelligence and a willingness to settle for mediocrity, which in addition to being HUGE turnoff's, make me reason that the person in question will hold me back/ bring me down. I don't really see this as changing anytime soon, but I am wondering: is this shallow?? I wouldn't call it shallow...since you're willing to date guys who are shorter, bald, and even not some adonis in looks. You simply want a successful guy who stays healthy and in shape. I will say though depending on how you look, where you're at in your own life, etc...that can be the "make or break" in terms of how much you can actually attain those standards. If you're some broke single mom with no college education, dead-end job, lots of debt, and 30+ pounds overweight...then your chances are going to be very small. If you are educated, childless, stay in great shape, aren't a "bitch" to guys in terms of attitude, and take care of yourself...then I could see you finding such men. The reality of life though is you have to pick from what's available in terms of the men who are willing to date and commit to you. So perhaps your ideal men all want women 4-5 years younger than you who put out easily and want nothing more than sex and good times...then obviously it means you won't snag any of those men into a relationship. I've seen successful women complain about that, but they have to realize that people want what they want...and if they can get it, then no one can really tell them or force them to change their ways. My suggestion to you would be to go to health clubs in more high-income neighborhoods...or check out health clubs in areas around your "Wall Street"/financial district. Be open to meeting men who might chance things and come talk to you. I figure there you'll see successful men who stay in shape. I don't think you'll find those "upper echelon" men on a dating site. Not unless you want to hit up one of those gold digger/rich husband/trophy wife sites. Also be careful though that you're not trying to "have it all". He might be athletic and successful, but you might find him working loads of hours, constantly flying out on business, and always at the gym so much that he doesn't make loads of time to be your boyfriend.
Philetus Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Without respect, there's can't be love. Perusing profiles on OkC, my awareness of how I dish out respect has been heightened. Maybe this will sound shallow, but I lose absolutely all interest in a guy if: -his career does not appear to be at least on its way to being better than mine -he isn't athletic I don't really see this as changing anytime soon, but I am wondering: is this shallow?? Possibly. re; career. What criteria do you use to see if his job is 'better'? How much it pays? Status? I preferred to find people who 'have a job/career that they love'. I dated a trader who made bucket loads of cash and was miserable.
elaina Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Hi Spookie, Well, I understand your original post and yeah I think it's fine to want a man whose job you like and who is physically fit. I don't see anything wrong with that. I think there are many men who have preferences (athough are defiitely more flexible) about their mate's job, as well as and especially physical fitness. I think work SHOULD be one's life. I totally disagree with you here. Work is a very important component to life, but there are other extremely important components to life as well, like love, family, friendship, fun, enjoying nature, and so on. There's a saying that goes: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow. " by Evan Esar So, while I agree that work is important, it should in no way be one's life, but rather an important part (out of many) of one's life.
Recommended Posts