Mad Max Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Without respect, there's can't be love. Just about anyone would agree with that. Maybe this will sound shallow, but I lose absolutely all interest in a guy if: -his career does not appear to be at least on its way to being better than mine -he isn't athletic Why does his career have to be better than yours? Just because someone isn't in the corporate world or making 6 figures, doesn't mean they're not ambitious. I'm a construction worker, so obviously not educated. But, I make good money, pay all my bills, am self-sufficient, and have a lot to offer. Don't you think it's the least bit shallow to turn someone down simply because of their career? As for athletic, not everyone is. You can be in shape without being athletic. I don't care if the guy is short, bald, ugly, whatever, I don't even care about the lifestyle that the career in question can buy, but to me, the above signify a lack of ambition or intelligence and a willingness to settle for mediocrity, which in addition to being HUGE turnoff's, make me reason that the person in question will hold me back/ bring me down. So because I repair highways, that doesn't make me ambitious or intelligent? That will "bring you down"? I don't really see this as changing anytime soon, but I am wondering: is this shallow?? It's your choice in the end but ultimately, yes it is shallow. What if I turned you down because you worked in retail instead of some other job? What if I turned you down because you were 20-30 pounds overweight? What if I turned you down because you were a brunette instead of a blonde? There's no difference. It's all shallow, but you cannot prove that someone that works a blue collar job(like myself) is not ambitious. And if we keep you down, I'm sorry to hear that. There's plenty of women that will accept us blue collar workers.
tincanman99 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Im 30 and never had a women, i cant wait for somebody to settle with me for emotional and financial security while shes not that into me:rolleyes: Yeah thats my fantasy too ! And for the added bonus she gets to take out her hostility on you because she settled.
Badmotorfinger Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 It's NOT about money. As an example, in my field, I'm underpaid, but I'm choosing to stay at a company that feels like family and aims to do the right thing. That's more important to me than the extra money I could be making somewhere else. I still work my ass off. Huh? You're smart and ambitious and expect someone who has a more prestigious/well paying job (because I'm assuming that's what your definition of ambition is based on).. And yet you're underpaid and "settling" for a company that feels like family and aims to do the right thing, yet you'd likely turn down an emotionally/mentally stable, financially secure guy who lives a comfortable, quiet life of contentment in a less urban setting with an average job that pays decent because he isn't "ambitious".. Yet he likely has hobbies or likes to travel or something.. Is a career the only gauge for ambition? Because I'm sure I could think of a dozen. And a lack of ambition is a VERY general statement in itself, as I'm sure everyone who's been given the gift of existing HAS to have SOME sort of ambition for SOMETHING.. but I'm getting the vibe that you're really just worried about money and financial security. I guess you expect someone else to support you financially? If you're just worried about living the high life, that's fine, just be honest about what you're really attracted to. Not trying to dog on you, but you certainly sound a bit shallow to me, maybe it's just me. If you have very little to offer but have a nice long list, no wonder you're still alone. Having a hole inbetween your legs doesn't give you the right to feel entitled to more for less. Good luck, anyway. I'm sure someone out there with low self esteem would be willing to pay to have sex with you.
PJKino Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Yeah thats my fantasy too ! And for the added bonus she gets to take out her hostility on you because she settled. I know its not all women but readign womens posts on here i sometimes feel like i dodged a bullet with women not liking me
Woggle Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Yeah thats my fantasy too ! And for the added bonus she gets to take out her hostility on you because she settled. You also get a complete lack of affection that she instead gives to a married coworker. Where do I sign up! It sure does sound like the life to me.
AD1980 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I feel women act like theyre a lotto ticket that they have to cash in before they expire.. You always hear how women just want a good guy who treats em right and to be loved and that they are the hopeless romantic gender where Men just want sex or a trophy on here and other sites it seems to be the opposite.. Women seem to want love only if its soemthing they could cash in on and/or show off
Badmotorfinger Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 C'mon, guys, it's just a natural way to filter out members of the opposite sex who're truly ugly and hollow and undeveloped on the inside, regardless of your gender. If you're trying to avoid that stuff, just by being the complete opposite of it, you can naturally keep it away and in most other cases see it from a mile away before it screws you over. Consider that a blessing in the long run. I personally am happy with the fact that superficial vapid females who don't see the big picture would probably never go for me, because I'm not superficial or vapid or looking for a girl who might look good but is 100% vanilla. Opposites don't always attract, and in this case it's a good thing.
Citizen Erased Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Spookie, have you even been single a week yet?
that girl Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 -his career does not appear to be at least on its way to being better than mine Why is this important? I get wanting someone who is athletic and someone who as their act together professionally, but I don't get Even if he's stable and cool with his whatever job, it would bother me if he's not ambitious. I have dumped guys for this, because my sexual attraction goes out the window if I perceive them as some combo of lazier-dumber than I am. (Unfortunately, I am neither lazy nor dumb, which rules out a LOT of people.) Particularly when you yourself are not a high flyer. What if he was a great middle school teacher? No ambitions to go into higher education administration, but he is really motivated about being the best middle school teacher he can be. What if he was a fireman who totally loved his job and could maybe see himself moving up the ranks, but just being a regular old fireman was enough for him? Honestly, it kind of sounds like you want someone impressive on your arm.
Author spookie Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 Spookie, have you even been single a week yet? Lol. No not yet. But how is that relevent?
that girl Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I feel women act like theyre a lotto ticket that they have to cash in before they expire.. You always hear how women just want a good guy who treats em right and to be loved and that they are the hopeless romantic gender where Men just want sex or a trophy on here and other sites it seems to be the opposite.. Women seem to want love only if its soemthing they could cash in on and/or show off How about we focus on spookie's question rather than making sweeping generalizations about half the world's population?
Mad Max Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 BTW Spookie, your gender says your male. Yet you're referring to finding guys???
Badmotorfinger Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 What if he was a fireman who totally loved his job and could maybe see himself moving up the ranks, but just being a regular old fireman was enough for him? Honestly, it kind of sounds like you want someone impressive on your arm. I'd have to concur. There really is NO need for that if you already have what you NEED..
Author spookie Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 I realize I mis-worded my post. What I really meant is "at least as ambitious". And for the record, I am not equating "ambition" with money or a corporate career, although oftentimes the former is implicit in the latter. The quality I'm referring to is the constant need to make oneself more useful and effective. Example: a middle school teacher in a suburb somewhere content to be a "nice guy" and a decent middle school teacher: turn off. A middle school teacher obsessed with reaching beyond the scope of the classroom to improve kids' lives (whether by writing a book or going into administration or whatever), that would be cool. A construction worker who can "pay his bills" - not interested. A construction worker w/ a vision for his own company and a plan to get there: yummy. It's complacency that's a turn-off for me. The attitude that one can be fulfilled simply by paying one's bills. In the context of online profiles, this complacency shines through when a guy writes that he has a "stable" job but "work isn't his life" or something to that extent. I think work SHOULD be one's life.
Mad Max Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I realize I mis-worded my post. What I really meant is "at least as ambitious". And for the record, I am not equating "ambition" with money or a corporate career, although oftentimes the former is implicit in the latter. The quality I'm referring to is the constant need to make oneself more useful and effective. Example: a middle school teacher in a suburb somewhere content to be a "nice guy" and a decent middle school teacher: turn off. A middle school teacher obsessed with reaching beyond the scope of the classroom to improve kids' lives (whether by writing a book or going into administration or whatever), that would be cool. A construction worker who can "pay his bills" - not interested. A construction worker w/ a vision for his own company and a plan to get there: yummy. It's complacency that's a turn-off for me. The attitude that one can be fulfilled simply by paying one's bills. In the context of online profiles, this complacency shines through when a guy writes that he has a "stable" job but "work isn't his life" or something to that extent. I think work SHOULD be one's life. You will never find a decent guy with your attitude. Just because I'm content with where I am doesn't mean I'm not ambitious. Good luck with your love life. Believe me, you'll need it.
Mad Max Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 It's NOT about money. As an example, in my field, I'm underpaid, but I'm choosing to stay at a company that feels like family and aims to do the right thing. That's more important to me than the extra money I could be making somewhere else. I still work my ass off. It's not about money for me either. I work hard too. My hands are rough and calloused and I am to do the right thing. I work my ass off too and it doesn't mean I'm not ambitious. Don't demand ambitious men when you show no signs of being ambitious yourself.
Author spookie Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 Huh? You're smart and ambitious and expect someone who has a more prestigious/well paying job (because I'm assuming that's what your definition of ambition is based on).. And yet you're underpaid and "settling" for a company that feels like family and aims to do the right thing, yet you'd likely turn down an emotionally/mentally stable, financially secure guy who lives a comfortable, quiet life of contentment in a less urban setting with an average job that pays decent because he isn't "ambitious".. Yet he likely has hobbies or likes to travel or something.. Is a career the only gauge for ambition? Because I'm sure I could think of a dozen. And a lack of ambition is a VERY general statement in itself, as I'm sure everyone who's been given the gift of existing HAS to have SOME sort of ambition for SOMETHING.. but I'm getting the vibe that you're really just worried about money and financial security. I guess you expect someone else to support you financially? If you're just worried about living the high life, that's fine, just be honest about what you're really attracted to. Not trying to dog on you, but you certainly sound a bit shallow to me, maybe it's just me. If you have very little to offer but have a nice long list, no wonder you're still alone. Having a hole inbetween your legs doesn't give you the right to feel entitled to more for less. Good luck, anyway. I'm sure someone out there with low self esteem would be willing to pay to have sex with you. Read my posts... I never said ambitious = well-paid. I'm "settling" for my company and I'm a tad underpaid but: I still work my ass off because I plan to one day be king (and honestly... in that regard I am doing pretty well for myself). You must be pretty bitter to say this: "I'm sure someone out there with low self esteem would be willing to pay to have sex with you."
Author spookie Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 It's not about money for me either. I work hard too. My hands are rough and calloused and I am to do the right thing. I work my ass off too and it doesn't mean I'm not ambitious. Don't demand ambitious men when you show no signs of being ambitious yourself. Actually, I'm very ambitious.
johan Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 You will never find a decent guy with your attitude. Just because I'm content with where I am doesn't mean I'm not ambitious. Good luck with your love life. Believe me, you'll need it. I'd say there are plenty of guys like she describes. I can name at least a few in my life. So I'm not sure she'll need luck. She'll just need to be able to tell which ones have the traits she's after and which ones are more like you.
USMCHokie Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Spookie, just keep in mind that "excessive" career ambition can often translate to mixed priorities and a sh*tty family life...ambition is certainly an admirable trait, but there are also real consequences to it...
Mad Max Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I'd say there are plenty of guys like she describes. I can name at least a few in my life. So I'm not sure she'll need luck. She'll just need to be able to tell which ones have the traits she's after and which ones are more like you. I'm every bit as ambitious as the guys the OP mentioned. The only thing that seperates us is I don't make 6 figures.
Woggle Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Some people just realize the American dream for the lie that it is. I am pretty well off myself but most of it is from investing and not a career. Modern American society is designed for only a small elite to really become king or queen.
Citizen Erased Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Lol. No not yet. But how is that relevent? if only breakups were as easy for everyone else. I'm just concerned for you, that you're jumping right back into things without giving yourself a breather.
Author spookie Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 if only breakups were as easy for everyone else. I'm just concerned for you, that you're jumping right back into things without giving yourself a breather. I just want to get started so it's not 2+ years till I have a relationship again.
hydorclops Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 What you're hoping for doesn't seem wildly picky on it's face. But somehow it seems off-putting. It seems like you're looking down on people or something. Are you really world class when it comes to ambition? Do people that plan to rule the world spend much time thinking about dating?
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