Mangomonkey Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Is marriage worth getting into now and days? For many reasons it seem like its not something thats someone should get into. For one reason or another it seems like marriage is something that is becoming more and more like a fantasy that people like to experience then jump out. My personal opinion. It might be worth it but me myself as a man is scared to death for many reasons. It seems like the only people that stay together in marriages now are people in their 2nd and 3rd marriages simply because. They try really hard to make it work since they messed up before. Im not saying is bad for anyone who wanna try it but being realistic and looking from the outside in. Way too many people want to get married but dont like being married.It makes you think. So what do you guys think. Is marriage worth it? Would you get married/remarried? If you can answer yes to the last the questions Are you able to stay married?
Mad Max Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 As a man, only worth it if she signs a pre-nup.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 I'd like to marry [at least] once before I croak.
phineas Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 The 3 rings of marriage. The engagement ring The wedding ring. The suffering. Then to top it off you get to give her half your **** when she gets tired of hanging out with you. But hey, with craigs list you can replace most of that stuff on what you have left over after you pay her child support & alimony. Along with the payments to the lawyer for the bankruptcy so you can at least avoid living in your parents basement. I'm not against getting married again however there would have to be a pre-nup & if she wants nice big ring she can buy it herself. I'll be lucky to get a quarter of what I paid for the ex's ring.
Pyro Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 You don't get married if and only if you get someone pregnant. That is stupid. You get married after you have known the person enough to where you feel comfortable with them and you feel you know enough about them (the good and the bad) and you know for sure that you want to do it.
Sphere Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 As a man, only worth it if she signs a pre-nup. I couldn't agree more with this, any man who marries without one of these is a complete idiot.
USMCHokie Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Yes, I absolutely want to some day... The problem is a lot of people get married too young in their life or too soon in their relationship.
Pyro Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Yes, I absolutely want to some day... The problem is a lot of people get married too young in their life or too soon in their relationship. they are lead by that high they experience at first and run with it. Very irresponsible. Part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high.
D-Lish Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 At this stage, I don't think I would get married again. I didn't bail on my first marriage because it was the easy way out, I bailed because he cheated. Some people feel the need to define themselves through being a couple- I'll never be that person. The way I see it, I had my "white dress day", I don't feel the need to have another. I did it once, we went big with our party- to this day, my friends tell me that my wedding was the one that blew all other celebrations out of the water. I guess that makes me an awesome party planner- but not so awesome of a wife. Sure, marriage can still be worth it. I certainly didn't go into my marriage thinking it would end some day- didn't even consider the possibility. One thing I am thankful for is that I had the option to leave when things went sour. I can't help but think of my grandparents marriage. They were so unhappy- he cheated on her constantly, she had no way out because of the era she lived in. By the end of her life, they hated one another, but stayed together because neither felt like they had a choice. My grandparents were characters straight out of "Men Men". My grandma was Betty Draper. She lived her life as a wife, not an individual. It was so sad. She was a woman with so much potential that spent her entire life living with a man that made her unhappy- she was completely stifled. Times have changed- marriage IS different than it was 10-20-30 years ago. The institution of marriage has changed because the nature of society and male/female relationships has progressed. When I think of my grandma, and what she could have become if she lived in my time...
USMCHokie Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 they are lead by that high they experience at first and run with it. Very irresponsible. Part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high. Absolutely. People are often driven to do certain things way too prematurely based on that 'high' such as moving in together or getting married because it "feels" so right... The chemical high does not factor things like actual compatibility and the ability for two separate lives to merge into a single life in a practical sense...
Sphere Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 =D-Lish;2983610. The institution of marriage has changed because the nature of society and male/female relationships has progressed Yep which is why I'm hoping I find a woman who doesn't want marriage and who doesn't want to move in together. The problem will come when I want to have children - do they stay with me or her or do we alternate?
confused192 Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Yes, I absolutely want to some day... The problem is a lot of people get married too young in their life or too soon in their relationship. I agree with this for sure. It takes a significant amount of time being in a relationship with someone before you really truly know the other person. Especially if you are young, you may both still be figuring out who you are and may come to find out that you don't make that good a match after all. I agree that its better to wait until you are a bit older, more mature, etc. I look back at myself when I was 22 and 23, the age when a lot of my friends were off getting married, and I am astonished at how much I've grown and matured since then...and that was only 2-3 years ago! I could not imagine getting married at that age nor right now. There is no rush:)
Sphere Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 I agree with this for sure. It takes a significant amount of time being in a relationship with someone before you really truly know the other person. If that's the case is there any need to get married then? I don't think so.
D-Lish Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Yep which is why I'm hoping I find a woman who doesn't want marriage and who doesn't want to move in together. The problem will come when I want to have children - do they stay with me or her or do we alternate? Well, hopefully when you get to the point where you are ready to have children with a woman, you will feel differently than you do at the moment.
confused192 Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 If that's the case is there any need to get married then? I don't think so. Well, I don't believe there is a NEED to get married. It's up to each individual really...me personally, I would love to get married one day but I am not pushing anything or rushing into it. I was just saying that it takes awhile before you really know someone and, when you are young especially, there is a greater tendency to move too quickly before you really know the ins and outs of that person. That is really key obviously because you are making a (hopefully) lifelong commitment to this other person.
USMCHokie Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 they are lead by that high they experience at first and run with it. Very irresponsible. Part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high. And I can say with first hand experience that I've fallen prey to this...during my last serious relationship, we had already started talking about marriage by the 6 month point...it seemed to "make sense" and we thought we were getting along so well...looking back, holy **** did I dodge a bullet... But then again, military guys are often known to get married too young and too soon...
USMCHokie Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Well, I don't believe there is a NEED to get married. It's up to each individual really...me personally, I would love to get married one day but I am not pushing anything or rushing into it. I was just saying that it takes awhile before you really know someone and, when you are young especially, there is a greater tendency to move too quickly before you really know the ins and outs of that person. That is really key obviously because you are making a (hopefully) lifelong commitment to this other person. And as you aluded to before, younger folks don't even know the ins and outs of themselves...
Sphere Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Well, hopefully when you get to the point where you are ready to have children with a woman, you will feel differently than you do at the moment. Call me sexist, but a woman to me is like a fine wine or a fine cigar, they are a luxurious item and when they run out or go dry you just replace them. That's been my attitude for the past few years and it has put me in good stead, I cannot fathom ever crying over losing a woman again, that said when I am with a woman, she gets treated with respect, love and I'm fully committed, I've just accepted that nothing lasts forever, so savour every moment you can before it all turns horribly sour.
Gattica Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 I don't know how I feel about marriage. I do know that it isn't something I need. I would like to find one person to share/spend my life with, but it doesn't have to lead to marriage. I did almost marry in my 20's and glad that I did not. I am open to it, but it isn't something that has to happen. I see too many people not only jump into marriage, but jump from relationship to relationship. So many people hate to be alone and not a part of a couple. I see some of those people (talking about a few a I know personally and quite well) that look down their noses at me because I am single and I am not actively trying to find a partner. I am tired of explaining myself. I am told I have issues because I am not partnered up or looking at the moment, but these folks that can't spend any amount of time on their own...they are healthy? /rant
Woggle Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 I am already married and I would do it again under the same conditions. I would never do it without a prenup and if things go sour I know a lawyer that is good at getting men out of a marriage in one piece. A man should never marry without a prenup though. Not with the way some women are these days.
Stung Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Call me sexist, but a woman to me is like a fine wine or a fine cigar, they are a luxurious item and when they run out or go dry you just replace them. That's been my attitude for the past few years and it has put me in good stead, I cannot fathom ever crying over losing a woman again, that said when I am with a woman, she gets treated with respect, love and I'm fully committed, I've just accepted that nothing lasts forever, so savour every moment you can before it all turns horribly sour. Fair enough, if that's how you like to approach it. But you're talking about children, and the mother of your children. Not replaceable, a totally different relationship.
AverageJoe Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 No. There is no advantage for a man to get married. If, and only IF you do, a prenup is mandatory. You are a fool to think otherwise. Some women campaign for marriage, an audition so to speak. At the time you just cant BELIEVE how great she is. You are getting it six ways from sunday, sex anywhere, everywhere, anytime. Hey, dont get up from watching that football game, let me grab another beer for you sweetheart. And you just cant believe it! You have a positon open, its not filled, and currently no one is playing Mrs (insert name). That audition tape is incredible isnt it? Some people are dumb enough to believe its going to continue after you sign that contract. Holy cow! You sign that contract, it goes to your state capital and gets the stamp on it. You know, the state seal that you see on those things and other legal documents. In some states you have just effectively set yourself up a corporation with you and her. A business arrangement. Where is the romance in that? I see no reason for a man to be involved with that.
D-Lish Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Call me sexist, but a woman to me is like a fine wine or a fine cigar, they are a luxurious item and when they run out or go dry you just replace them. That's been my attitude for the past few years and it has put me in good stead, I cannot fathom ever crying over losing a woman again, that said when I am with a woman, she gets treated with respect, love and I'm fully committed, I've just accepted that nothing lasts forever, so savour every moment you can before it all turns horribly sour. Then re-producing probably isn't in your bext interest, or the best interest of a child.
Woggle Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 My wife is certainly more than a luxery item but I know I am strong enough to bounce back if things do go bad.
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