Clep Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Well, if it were the case, I think it would be subconscious in most people. I always find it amusing when people respond with the subconscious being an explanation. Eckhart Tolle has some very enlightening books on the consciousness of the mind, finding and being ourselves and our life's purpose. Might make for some good reading. They did for me each time I read them.
Author Fay Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 I always find it amusing when people respond with the subconscious being an explanation. Eckhart Tolle has some very enlightening books on the consciousness of the mind, finding and being ourselves and our life's purpose. Might make for some good reading. They did for me each time I read them. Call me when the majority of the population is fully conscious. Because the way I see it, I see a bunch of people walking down the street completely un-self-aware, oblivious to the roots of their actions, thoughts and opinions. They're like animals operating on instinct and preprogrammed responses (I'm not calling anyone here an animal, BTW) Anyway, back to the topic at hand...
tami-chan Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 A - 1 If I'm not attracted to her body or face, 7 as far as increasing existing attraction. B - 1 If I'm not attracted to her body or face, 5 as far as increasing existing attraction. C - 1 If I'm not attracted to her body or face, 6 as far as increasing existing attraction. D - 1-5 E - 1-4 F - 1-7 G - 10 H - 7 I - 8 Point is, most men I know and myself could care less about A-F on a woman with an unappealing body. Sorry, it's true. This is why we get mad when women say they go to "all this trouble" for men involving A-F when it's blatantly obvious they are doing those things for themselves and competition with other women, yet steadfastly refuse to do the basic thing we men require most, get their bodies in decent shape. Not perfect, not without signs of age, not model standard, not stick thin, just IN SHAPE. Most of my married friends who are happy have wives who have eaten right and exercised to stay in decent shape. Most of my married friends who are unhappy are so because their wives have allowed themsleves to turn into shapeless blobs. Simple. What the....only 5 for hairstyle???????? I cut my long, beautiful hair for you for this dreadlock extensions and it is only 5???:mad:...why do I even bother?
meerkat stew Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Is the fact that I do these things for ME pointless then? OP asked for male assessments. No one said (or I missed it if they did) there was anything wrong with doing things for oneself, just that we hear lots of "men expect us to do all these things," as if it is some standard that men -impose- on women, when actual male expectations have little to do with much of the higher maintenance aspects of female appearance.
florence of suburbia Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 The flaw w/ this question is that men often have no idea how women achieve a certain look. For example (and this has been discussed here before) men will claim they like women with little or no makeup, not realizing that achieving a subtle yet flattering look can require more products, time and money than does a face they consider to be excessively made up. Same with the breasts. How would a man observing from a distance know whether or not a woman is wearing a pushup bra? He would either find her breasts pleasing to look at or not.
meerkat stew Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Call me when the majority of the population is fully conscious. Because the way I see it, I see a bunch of people walking down the street completely un-self-aware, oblivious to the roots of their actions, thoughts and opinions. They're like animals operating on instinct and preprogrammed responses (I'm not calling anyone here an animal, BTW) Ooo ooo make that thread! make that thread! Bears directly on dating advice. I want to play. << Gets out the "Being and Time," an old Skinner paper and a bowl of popcorn.
meerkat stew Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) What the....only 5 for hairstyle???????? I cut my long, beautiful hair for you for this dreadlock extensions and it is only 5???:mad:...why do I even bother? Baby I gotta break it to ya gentle, I got you to cut your hair so I could sell it, that meth we huff up ain't gettin any cheaper now is it? I love your beautiful new dreadlocks don't get me wrong, the red one, the gold one AND the green one, and especially how they carved an image of Haile Selassie in your scalp, but man can not live on Jah alone, he needs METH, and to get meth ya gotta have bread. Hope you understand, my little guantanamera. Edited August 26, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
MrNate Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I think one thing we can take from this is that being in shape is pretty important when you want your selection of guys to be as large as possible. Being in shape is something that can't be covered up in makeup or clothed over. If you can at least get that part down then I personally think that's probably the biggest hurdle covered. And NO, being in shape doesn't mean you have to be a size 2 or less. Guys can tell when a woman is in shape or not. I know for me, shape definitely carries a weight of about 50-65%, (i.e. the biggest priority when considering a woman). I don't care how awesome your personality is, how intellectually stimulating you are, how beautiful your face is, nor what kind of make up you have on. If I can't see myself mating with you, it's a no go. Just being honest.
meerkat stew Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 The flaw w/ this question is that men often have no idea how women achieve a certain look. Yeah, there's some truth in that and what follows, but by and large, we aren't as stupid as women think. Just like at the movies, we do lots of "suspending of disbelief," and once a certain experience level is crossed, the dew is pretty much off the lily as far as what women really look like versus what makeup looks like. After that point, we really just want you prancing around in the bedroom with one of our wife-beaters or dress shirts on and completely messed up hair. In a similar fashion, as you play along with certain of our "rugged outdoorsman" or "sports prowess" fictions, we play along with some of your appearance fabrications. Makes the hard realities of life and aging a little more palatable for all.
Sphere Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Ok. But more generally speaking, anything a guy does to make himself more attractive to women is done to compete with other men. Just think about it... And I'd confidently say that a vast majority of people who work out in a gym do so to be more attractive to the opposite gender. I agree, but that's not true in my case, I see no competition. The only time I have competition is when I am playing sport and I play Rugby Union to win matches and accolades, not too impress women. Women do not play that much of an important role in my life If I'm honest. They're like a fine wine at the end of the day. A luxury item, not a necessity.
OliveOyl Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 So obviously for the majority of men, body shape/weight - e.g. being "in shape" count the most as far as obvious efforts a woman can take to improve her physical attractiveness. Here's a related question... two women. One has a very pretty face/pretty features, and a slightly plump figure (not obese, but more like a middle-aged housewife). The second has a toned, athletic, very fit figure, but her facial features are average or not "traditionally" attractive (think Sarah Jessica Parker). All other factors are the same (clothing, manicure, etc.) Who would you find more attractive - for you - overall?
horsegirl Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Hello you only hear what you want to hear If you actally looked at the numbers nearly ALL yes ALL of the guys polled said body shape was a 9-10 on their scale ie body shape is the #1 factor a guy looks at
horsegirl Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 so stop bothering with manicures and the latest styles of clothes you saw on TV guys DOnT CARE get in shape then they will pay attention
Sphere Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 So obviously for the majority of men, body shape/weight - e.g. being "in shape" count the most as far as obvious efforts a woman can take to improve her physical attractiveness. Here's a related question... two women. One has a very pretty face/pretty features, and a slightly plump figure (not obese, but more like a middle-aged housewife). The second has a toned, athletic, very fit figure, but her facial features are average or not "traditionally" attractive (think Sarah Jessica Parker). All other factors are the same (clothing, manicure, etc.) Who would you find more attractive - for you - overall? The second woman. I'm not attracted to plumpness at all. I'm not attracted to skinny either before you try and sink my battleship, but I feel it's important that as humans we look after ourselves to the best of our ability. Even at 40+ men and women can still keep in shape.
MrNate Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 So obviously for the majority of men, body shape/weight - e.g. being "in shape" count the most as far as obvious efforts a woman can take to improve her physical attractiveness. Here's a related question... two women. One has a very pretty face/pretty features, and a slightly plump figure (not obese, but more like a middle-aged housewife). The second has a toned, athletic, very fit figure, but her facial features are average or not "traditionally" attractive (think Sarah Jessica Parker). All other factors are the same (clothing, manicure, etc.) Who would you find more attractive - for you - overall? Woah now. We're talking about priorities, not "either or's"
alexlakeman Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Really? No one else gets a big turn on from a chick with sexy hands and a nice french tip, or deep red polished nails? Almost everyone rated manicure so low. Well at least Meerkat understands me. I was wrong, I put makeup too high and skin too low. I get a major turn on as well with well kept manicures and hands with little or no veins popping out or wrinkles on top of hands. My fav? French manicure on long nails (u know when they do their nails, arcrylic or gel I think they call it lol). If a girl's nails are short, or not painted or well kept, no way lol. Well not "no way" that's fixable. But hands could very nice.
Philetus Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 So obviously for the majority of men, body shape/weight - e.g. being "in shape" count the most as far as obvious efforts a woman can take to improve her physical attractiveness. Here's a related question... two women. One has a very pretty face/pretty features, and a slightly plump figure (not obese, but more like a middle-aged housewife). The second has a toned, athletic, very fit figure, but her facial features are average or not "traditionally" attractive (think Sarah Jessica Parker). All other factors are the same (clothing, manicure, etc.) Who would you find more attractive - for you - overall? #2 and it's not even close. I love a woman's body way more than her face.
carhill Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 high heels and nice feet Indeed, and the feel of nicely manicured nails running down my back during lovemaking
MrNate Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 #2 and it's not even close. I love a woman's body way more than her face. I'm gonna have to go with this. If I can't pump 'em, gotta dump 'em. Brown paper bags are for more than just bagging groceries.
Mikki Mars Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 very important: how fit she is very important: nice breasts, no flat-ass, hourglass(preferable) very important: nice smile, good and white teeth between pretty and very important: having all hair aside from head hair and eyebrows shaved: no moustaches, no leg hai, no goatees important: clothes preferable: 4. nice manicure pretty important: smell good very important: nice pedicure, no bent toes, and especially no toe hair
Philetus Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I'm gonna have to go with this. If I can't pump 'em, gotta dump 'em. Brown paper bags are for more than just bagging groceries. You managed to stay a lot classier than I did.
USMCHokie Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 If I can't pump 'em, gotta dump 'em. Brown paper bags are for more than just bagging groceries. You managed to stay a lot classier than I did. Don't you know that Nate simply oozes class...?
MrNate Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Don't you know that Nate simply oozes class...? LOL. I'm not sure what to take from this. But I think the brown paper bag jab was golden
Jilly Bean Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 The problem is that most people are insecure with themselves...so life becomes a competition with those of their gender... Agreed. Sad. But, a lot of people grow out of that by 30. lol OP asked for male assessments. No one said (or I missed it if they did) there was anything wrong with doing things for oneself, just that we hear lots of "men expect us to do all these things," as if it is some standard that men -impose- on women, when actual male expectations have little to do with much of the higher maintenance aspects of female appearance. Then you missed the OP where she wrote the list was meant for a woman to: improve their appearance to attract a mate. Secure women don't keep themselves fit and groomed to grab a dude. If a woman does, then pity the guy who grabs her, as the illusion will all fade away as soon as she married. MANY women believe in keeping themselves nice for themselves. Either you have pride in your appearance for your own reasons, or you're doing it for all the wrong ones and it's a phony effort.
Philetus Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 MANY women believe in keeping themselves nice for themselves. Either you have pride in your appearance for your own reasons, or you're doing it for all the wrong ones and it's a phony effort. Everyone should write this down and refer back to it often - women and men. It should be extended to not just your appearance but your whole person. Look in the mirror and change what you don't like about yourself. Get laser eye surgery, lose 10 pounds, or add 20, get a good hair cut or ask a friend to help you pick out nice clothes. Take an improv comedy class to think better on your feet, read the newspaper to stay current, and on and on. The bottom line though is to do it FOR yourself, not what you think someone else likes. The only person's expectations you have a hope in hell of constantly meeting is your own. Happiness is found within, not through your relationships with other people or what they think of you. Even if you're cock of the walk, that kind of ego inflation is dependent on others and can go in an instant. Address your weaknesses, show off your strengths, and the opposite sex will flock to you. And even if they don't you'll love the person you are.
Recommended Posts