Username37's School Log.

[chocolate_boy]

Oh wow XD

 

But her being nervous means she has SOME feelings left right? Honestly, if there's nothing left, she wouldn't be feeling this way.

 

Well I can tell you four years later I was definitely over my ex, I'd had another 2 year relationship since, but I think it's just the fact that we hadn't been in touch for so long, it's natural to be a bit nervous what they'll think of you now, who wants an ex to see them again and think "urgh what was I doing with him/her?"

 

As it turned out we parted on very bad terms, but (not wanting to get anyone false hope here), if that initial attraction was there, it's usually always there somewhere, four years turned out to be enough time for us to forget our bad times, the mind has a funny way of just remembering the happiness later on.

 

Sure we still found each other physically attractive, despite her telling me she didn't love me, we didn't click anymore etc. and being very cold to me when we broke up, years down the line I was that same guy she fell for originally, happy, laid back, she was into me again that night and asked me to kiss her.

 

We did, ended up back at hers, I left at 4am, next day she text me and said she was drunk and we made a mistake, I was aloof and was like "hey don't sweat it, I had fun, take care x", since then we've chatted on Facebook as friends every so often, but nothing romantic since.

 

Take from this what you will, women are not machines, my ex actually cracked a few months after our breakup and missed me and cried, despite being stony faced throughout, if she had feelings for you she can only suppress them for so long, unfortunately it seems to be the way that they only realise this when you're over them.

 

By the time she was ready to come back to me, I was pretty much over her back then. Of course I couldn't resist a no-strings sex hook-up a few years later though

[chocolate_boy]

Naturally she will be feeling something, especially if you two shared a long time with each other. Doesn't mean those feelings are romantic though, but she certainly hasn't reached the point of indifference.

 

One thing I've learned about people is they only feel a certain way today, you've got no idea what tomorrow brings. While I've never re-united for a relationship with an ex, I've had it both ways, girls tell me they don't love me anymore, don't find me attractive, then a few months down the line change their mind. I've also had it the other way, chicks who are hugely into me, chase me for months then after few dates they lose all interest.

 

I generally find if I've screwed up with a girl/girlfriend, they usually do express some kind of interest again at some point in the future, generally though it's not enough to try again with each other, but flirting/kissing has happened with most of my exes again down the line. Like I said in my last post, the mind has an uncanny trick of just remembering the good times, but ONLY once all the drama has ended.

 

You want another shot with her? You need to totally back off, chill, like you are, if you're still the cool/attractive guy she originally fell for (you are), then she will see this eventually, but like I said it might take years, you cannot hang-on on the off-chance that it will either, she might meet someone else, so might you. Let her go, like you are, if she comes back one day (and they often do in my experience) then just play it cool, but chances are you'll feel differently by then, love's a b*tch!

[Username37]

thanks for the advice everyone. i hate how confusing she is and how she changed after the break up. her true colors are showing and its killing me

[chocolate_boy]

thanks for the advice everyone. i hate how confusing she is and how she changed after the break up. her true colors are showing and its killing me

 

That's one of the most tragic parts of breakups, going from being best friends/sharing everything to virtual strangers. I've had it where I'm holding someone in bed, having sex - the most intimate thing two people can do, to ignoring each other in the street a week later, I'll never quite get that.

[Username37]

That's one of the most tragic parts of breakups, going from being best friends/sharing everything to virtual strangers. I've had it where I'm holding someone in bed, having sex - the most intimate thing two people can do, to ignoring each other in the street a week later, I'll never quite get that.

 

I don't get that either. It's the most painful thing ever

[Username37]

Bleh, caved today. But wasn't so bad

 

Checked the ex's facebook. Yep I broke my no facebook streak (I had to log on to reply to my new friends + brother)

 

Took down the pictures of us finally. Didn't hurt me much considering the **** she put me though already. Still restricted. Not a big deal.

[wjg23g]

So does looking at their FB count as breaking NC? How about saying hello to them in passing? I haven't spoken w/ ex in 4 months, so that's one form, but I guess real NC is never looking at FB/pics & just being civil in public?

 

I also looked at ex's fb last week or so (I unfriended her & then she blocked me), but as of this week, I am unblocked. I assume that just means she's completely over it since we haven't talked in months & I assume is still with her 2 yr bf. Either way, she was completely uncivil to me in the end so I'm only going to say hello if she initiates, otherwise just avoid. Should I block her on FB now? I guess I'm not over her still, even though I'd never go back.

 

It's weird- it's been so long since I've even spoken to this person & I still get heated when I see her. I wonder how long it will take for that to pass

 

Username37- have you had any contact other than looking at FB & some pics? The hostility sucks, but it seems like you're giving it too much mind. Most of your posts are very positive, but at the end, doubt creeps in (ex. I wonder what she's thinking/doing). I think you need to come to a conclusion about what you want- do you want to let it go? Is it best for you to let it go? Can you really be friends with her? My guess is, like for me, your answers are likely yes, yes, no. I guess it will just take time to let them fade away/let things heal

[Username37]

So does looking at their FB count as breaking NC? How about saying hello to them in passing? I haven't spoken w/ ex in 4 months, so that's one form, but I guess real NC is never looking at FB/pics & just being civil in public?

 

In a way, looking at FB is considered breaking it due to the fact that NC = No new pain. And saying hi breaks it but if it doesn't affect you then whatever. I haven't spoken to my ex since June 20th and I had opportunities. If you're civil and don't look at their FB you should be fine (but there are those moments where you cave. I'm glad when I caved it didn't hurt much as before)

 

I also looked at ex's fb last week or so (I unfriended her & then she blocked me), but as of this week, I am unblocked. I assume that just means she's completely over it since we haven't talked in months & I assume is still with her 2 yr bf. Either way, she was completely uncivil to me in the end so I'm only going to say hello if she initiates, otherwise just avoid. Should I block her on FB now? I guess I'm not over her still, even though I'd never go back.

 

It's weird- it's been so long since I've even spoken to this person & I still get heated when I see her. I wonder how long it will take for that to pass

 

I say block.

 

Same here. When I see her, I feel sick, angry, scared, so many negative feelings. I remember when I saw my ex before, I felt so happy and I got butterflies and all of that, now it's terrible when I see her.

 

Time will tell my friend.

 

Username37- have you had any contact other than looking at FB & some pics? The hostility sucks, but it seems like you're giving it too much mind. Most of your posts are very positive, but at the end, doubt creeps in (ex. I wonder what she's thinking/doing). I think you need to come to a conclusion about what you want- do you want to let it go? Is it best for you to let it go? Can you really be friends with her? My guess is, like for me, your answers are likely yes, yes, no. I guess it will just take time to let them fade away/let things heal

 

Started my NC on June 20th. She broke it 4 times, all 4 times I ignored. I feel bad blood between us. And yeah, I think sometimes I put a lot of thought into things. I feel good, but there are always those thoughts like "what the **** is she doing?" and "did she see me walk by?" and just small stupid stuff like that.

 

You're answers are like mine haha. We'll see what time does to the both of us k?

[Username37]

Need your opinions on something my fellow LSers.

 

Okay, so I want to work crew for my school's theater department for my last year. This was something my ex and I did together and this was actually the place where we really bonded. This was also the place that broke us apart.

 

I told my ex after the breakup that I will not continue doing crew because it would only bring back bad memories and all that ****.

 

I thought hard about my decision over the summer and I came to the conclusion that I do want to go back and work there.

 

PROBLEM IS, my ex girlfriend became the crew head, meaning she's in charge of everything.

 

I want to do crew for my final year. It was a lot of fun and I made a lot of memories there, plus everyone wants me back. But I have to deal with my ex girlfriend and maybe even seeing her flirting with dudes and ****.

 

So what should I do LS?

[Username37]

So I found an FB convo that my ex and I had a week after our break up. It was so awkward. She kept on asking weird questions and was checking up on me. She started most of the conversations and when I started one, she replied with "hi?" (which is kinda bitchy with the question mark and everything)

 

In the convo, I was trying to be funny and friendly, but her answers were very...idk...can't describe it.

 

This was months ago and it surprises me how much **** I've been through. Looking back it's just wow. She's so goddamn different. Damn her insecure, bipolar ways.

[bonpaw2008]

Need your opinions on something my fellow LSers.

 

Okay, so I want to work crew for my school's theater department for my last year. This was something my ex and I did together and this was actually the place where we really bonded. This was also the place that broke us apart.

 

I told my ex after the breakup that I will not continue doing crew because it would only bring back bad memories and all that ****.

 

I thought hard about my decision over the summer and I came to the conclusion that I do want to go back and work there.

 

PROBLEM IS, my ex girlfriend became the crew head, meaning she's in charge of everything.

 

I want to do crew for my final year. It was a lot of fun and I made a lot of memories there, plus everyone wants me back. But I have to deal with my ex girlfriend and maybe even seeing her flirting with dudes and ****.

 

So what should I do LS?

 

You already know the answer ... I am sure there other fun things to do around your school, this would not be a good move for you rght now. I know you enjoyed it, but go out and find something else you enjoyed equally as well, or go try out to be an actor or something and really blow her mind

[Username37]

I'm torn. I don't want her to ruin my school year and crew was pretty much the majority of my HS life. I don't want to stop doing things I like to do because some bitch tossed me away ya know?

 

New thought:

I'm getting amused walking by her, seeing her turn her head right away when she sees me.

 

She's gonna get whiplash or something XD

[bonpaw2008]

I'm torn. I don't want her to ruin my school year and crew was pretty much the majority of my HS life. I don't want to stop doing things I like to do because some bitch tossed me away ya know?

 

New thought:

I'm getting amused walking by her, seeing her turn her head right away when she sees me.

 

She's gonna get whiplash or something XD

 

OK - so what are you going to do the first time she has to talk to you in the crew? How is she going to act? Dude I just worry about you. She seems like she can be a snotty b and I don't want you to get hurt. Walking by her and laughing is one thing, but her having to be your boss, sounds miserable....

[Username37]

OK - so what are you going to do the first time she has to talk to you in the crew? How is she going to act? Dude I just worry about you. She seems like she can be a snotty b and I don't want you to get hurt. Walking by her and laughing is one thing, but her having to be your boss, sounds miserable....

 

Yeah I understand. But I feel like I can talk to her, it's just that she'll make it awkward (she already is)

 

Whatever, I can find something else

[Username37]

some of my friends are saying she's showing signs that she's missing me.

 

They're not sure, but they think so.

[lullaby]

Hi Username! I'm sorry I've been away these days, it was a really hard busy week.

 

I understand that feeling of being amused when you know the ex is looking at you, or maybe even missing you, but you should focus on what's happening to YOU!!! Do you feel ready to talk to her? If you do, then go ahead and let her be your boss, you will find out when it happens, right? Just be aware it's gonna be tough and if you can avoid the suffering, then do it, but hey... we're all here to support you if it goes wrong

[Username37]

Hi Username! I'm sorry I've been away these days, it was a really hard busy week.

 

I understand that feeling of being amused when you know the ex is looking at you, or maybe even missing you, but you should focus on what's happening to YOU!!! Do you feel ready to talk to her? If you do, then go ahead and let her be your boss, you will find out when it happens, right? Just be aware it's gonna be tough and if you can avoid the suffering, then do it, but hey... we're all here to support you if it goes wrong

 

It's okay lull. I'm not expecting you or anyone to constantly hang around this thread or bookmarking it or anything like that haha

 

And I'm trying to look at things on both sides. I'm torn, but I have a lot of time to think about it.

[Username37]

Question!

 

Why do people find it immature not accepting friendship from your ex? And is it immature to hold a grudge against them?

[Username37]

I'm pretty pissed today at the fact that my ex stole my friends.

 

So we break up right? And my "friends" tell me things like "yeah we got your back" and all of that ****. Then over the summer, THEY BEGAN hanging out with her. It was all of them and her and NOT me. They're now all really close and I barely see them and when I tried texting them, there responses were so bland and uncaring...

 

It seems like they were only friends with me because I was with my ex...what kind of friends are these? And my ex should feel like a bitch for doing this (but she probably doesn't care anyways)

[bonpaw2008]

Question!

 

Why do people find it immature not accepting friendship from your ex? And is it immature to hold a grudge against them?

 

These are people that don't understand. They need to understand that it is not about her, it is about you. You can't heal if she is constantly in your face, and it isn't about holding a grudge, it is about getting over her. You are so much more mature than the people that are saying this to you. And you don't need someone like her as a friend, that is what they need to know.

 

xoxo

[Username37]

These are people that don't understand. They need to understand that it is not about her, it is about you. You can't heal if she is constantly in your face, and it isn't about holding a grudge, it is about getting over her. You are so much more mature than the people that are saying this to you. And you don't need someone like her as a friend, that is what they need to know.

 

xoxo

 

Thanks for the advice and many other advice

 

I always tell people people this:

 

"why would I want to be friends with a person who got tired of me and quit on me?"

[xx.Kael.xx]

You know what bro? Your money XD

 

If crew is your Passion, don't let a dame ruin that. Your only letting her win. This is about you now, so go get what you want

 

While I do agree it may bring more pain, avoiding it could cause future issues. Best to face the pain once in a while mate, your stronger than you think.

[Username37]

You know what bro? Your money XD

 

If crew is your Passion, don't let a dame ruin that. Your only letting her win. This is about you now, so go get what you want

 

While I do agree it may bring more pain, avoiding it could cause future issues. Best to face the pain once in a while mate, your stronger than you think.

 

Naw man. YOU ARE!

 

And not really a passion. Just something fun to do hahaha

And that's what I'm saying! But I understand why bon think I shouldn't.

 

I have a while to think about it

[Username37]

September 13th.

 

Finally crossed eyes in the hallway. Wow, I see no love in her eyes anymore. I see anger and fear. It's so weird....

 

It bugged me a little bit. Now it's pretty much whatever now.

[chocolate_boy]

September 13th.

 

Finally crossed eyes in the hallway. Wow, I see no love in her eyes anymore. I see anger and fear. It's so weird....

 

It bugged me a little bit. Now it's pretty much whatever now.

 

At least yours has the decency to ignore you, mine is either following me around like a bad smell, or pretending we have no history and trying to be friends