Does breast size matter?

[dispatch3d]

He said we would've had to see, because if he lost his attraction to me we would've had to split, or maybe he would've paid for my implants. I'd never get implants, by the way.

 

Now that I'm single I've noticed how men favor women with large breasts a lot more.

 

I even met a guy recently. He says I'd caught his attention from some time ago. However, he had this perception of me, as sort of an innocent, asexual, even religious girl.it was just the way I look, maybe the way I dress.

 

To the first your x-boyfriend sounds like a complete *******. I guess it's good that he's honest about what he values? (Breast size) more than anything else? Praying on a women's insecurities like this really isn't nice. Don't date guys with this attitude.

 

I am definitely into bigger breasts, but I wouldn't not date a girl because she had small breasts. My roomates girlfriend is self-conscious about the same thing. It really is an insecurity you have and has less to do with what actually matters.

 

The prude thing. A few things are happening here IMO. The guy may view most girls as prude/not into sex/don't want to have sex etc. This a pure cultural thing and a veryvery common limiting belief of most guys. The second thing is you are definitely projecting your insecurities onto the problem (he doesn't mention cleavage at all). It would be hard to pin down why you come off "as a prude". Are you bitter/mean/unfriendly/bitchy to random guys? Are you not talkative? Do you not give most guys or people in general the time of day? Are you disrespectful about the guys who do hit on you? All of these things factor in with a guy who screens....

[dispatch3d]

oh just realize - he could also get this impression because you aren't overly flirty. The flirty girls always seem sexual to me.

[aerogurl87]

Well my boobs aren't huge, hell I barely have any cleavage, but I still seem to have a steady stream of men coming after me. OP just wear clothes that highlight your other features more and don't worry about guys who aren't attracted to you because you don't have double Ds. I once was self conscience about mine as well, but my boyfriend and all my exes seemed to be enthralled by my body for one reason or another, so not all guys want girls with huge melons.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I'm rather small chested. I've been single for a while. And while my ex still begs me to take him back, and he always showed attraction to my body, well, a couple times he made insensitive jokes about my meager cups and I noticed how he lusted after busty actresses or porn stars...

 

One more point of importance with regard to your ex having "lusted after busty actresses".

 

As the human inspiration to pick one person and make that person seem like the most awesome one in the world kicks in, people do everything in their power to immerse themselves in the extremely individual elements of their partner's physicality. Then, and with no surprise, various random other people whom they encounter will be most revered in areas where they are most unique to one's steady partner.

 

Imaging being in China when some blond and blue-eyed caucasian moved to the neighborhood. Nearly everyone around has naturally black hair with dark eyes and suddenly there is this complete contrast in the vicinity.

 

There is an element there of her not being admired beCAUSE she is blond and/or blue-eyed, but rather beCAUSE she is merely considerably unique. Nothing about this suggests blond is 'better', but it is natural for people to observe the uniquenesses of others. And if one selects one random partner from the vast numbers of humans on this earth, then he/she sets himself/herself up for developing a routine in their appreciation of the other, and inspires some of what catches the eye about different people in the process.

 

That part isn't as inappropriate as you seem to feel.

[LosingBattle]

One more point of importance with regard to your ex having "lusted after busty actresses".

 

As the human inspiration to pick one person and make that person seem like the most awesome one in the world kicks in, people do everything in their power to immerse themselves in the extremely individual elements of their partner's physicality. Then, and with no surprise, various random other people whom they encounter will be most revered in areas where they are most unique to one's steady partner.

 

Imaging being in China when some blond and blue-eyed caucasian moved to the neighborhood. Nearly everyone around has naturally black hair with dark eyes and suddenly there is this complete contrast in the vicinity.

 

There is an element there of her not being admired beCAUSE she is blond and/or blue-eyed, but rather beCAUSE she is merely considerably unique. Nothing about this suggests blond is 'better', but it is natural for people to observe the uniquenesses of others. And if one selects one random partner from the vast numbers of humans on this earth, then he/she sets himself/herself up for developing a routine in their appreciation of the other, and inspires some of what catches the eye about different people in the process.

 

That part isn't as inappropriate as you seem to feel.

 

But why did he have to tell me? Couldn't he lie a bit about it? Or at least keep quiet? I believe in selective lying, and lying about such things is not bad in my book. Lying about other things is.

 

Plus, what's your point? That committing to one person makes that person not as interesting as 'unique' others? Then why the hell did he date me in the first place if I didn't satisfy his boob crazed desires?

 

It is inappropriate, just as inappropriate as if I had told him I liked bigger penises better. Which I don't. And even if I did, I would have never mentioned it to him.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

But why did he have to tell me? Couldn't he lie a bit about it? Or at least keep quiet? I believe in selective lying, and lying about such things is not bad in my book. Lying about other things is.

 

Plus, what's your point? That committing to one person makes that person not as interesting as 'unique' others? Then why the hell did he date me in the first place if I didn't satisfy his boob crazed desires?

 

It is inappropriate, just as inappropriate as if I had told him I liked bigger penises better. Which I don't. And even if I did, I would have never mentioned it to him.

 

 

You should take stock of yourself. Now your ex has "boob crazed desires" ??

 

The difference between breasts and penises is that men, for the most part, have a general sense for what is going to be under the wrapper on a newfound female interest. For women, what's under the male wrapper is going to be a complete surprise.

 

So the rest of us are going to believe that your ex had a general sense for the size of your breasts when he first took romantic interest in you. Not so many of us are going to believe that you had a clear sense of how big his dong was going to be at the same time.

 

And whether he was inclined to "lie" about your perceived-in-him lust for giant boobs is secondary to the insecurity that leaps off the page here.

 

Where is the girl who "would never get implants" and who implied some amount of self-satisfaction in that stance?

 

There are lots of us who totally don't care about the size of your breasts as long as they are random (AND as long as you don't feel you have to conceal them shamefully once we're between the sheets).

 

Finally, that "randomness" would matter less and less were we never to watch porn and never to notice other, random women who help to comprise a complete realm of humanity.

 

I mean, how do you even know your breasts are small-ish???

[ViciousViolet]

Well I am working with more than a handful and I guarantee that it has never helped me pull a guy outside of someone just wanting sex. I wish these things could snag me a man. My friends working with small/average assets pull guys left and right. Then again, the butt has become more popular, so perhaps that has something to do with it.

[meerkat stew]

Mine are a tiny, tiny A-cup, flattish even, and have never had any women complain that they are too small.

[LosingBattle]

Mine are a tiny, tiny A-cup, flattish even, and have never had any women complain that they are too small.

 

:/

 

I'm sorry, but that's stupid and offensive. I am an A cup. So stupid.

 

And to SincereOnlineGuy, well that's the beauty of being a man. You don't have to worry about feeling your penis size exposed. I mean, imagine if guys had some equivalent of 'cleavage' regarding their penis size, that somehow, all women could automatically see how big or small it is at the first glance. Wouldn't that suck? Wouldn't that make some men hyper insecure?

 

Well that's what I face. And hell, maybe my ex was just settling for me in that regard. The way in which he talked about my breasts sure made it seem like it. I mean, he bluntly said big breasts were better, and once asked me what I thought about implants. He said if I ever ended up completely flat we'd either have to break up or I'd have to get implants because he probably wouldn't be attracted to me anymore. I mean, come on, yes he had big boob crazed desires. He even tried to t*t w*nk with me and IT DID NOT WORK! And how do you think I felt when I saw the utter disappointment in his face? NOT GOOD!

 

Why did he approach me? I don't know, we met at a smokey club, during a gig. The music was loud, the place was dark and there was a lot of smoke. I probably charmed him with my personality before anything else. He probably didn't even check out my breast size until we had already talked more. I mean, we met that time at the pub, and then started flirting online, a lot. By the time we next saw in person, he was already into my personality.

 

But all the celebs he liked were busty. I think the one with smaller breasts he liked was probably a C cup. That's gigantic next to my A cups! I mean some guys (and some women for that regard) are jerks, and you can't deny it. They will date someone and just settle. Just because they date you doesn't mean they are really attracted to you.

 

He probably just wanted a musician girlfriend, and since not many girls around here are musicians, he picked me.

 

I still it was inappropriate of him, and douchey. Yes I'm insecure and it is partly my fault, but NOT all my fault. From the moment we started having sex, he knew I was insecure about my breasts. Why, oh why would anyone with an IQ higher than 80 would tell an insecure woman that he prefers big breasts and that if her breasts become flat, he'll dump her? He seemed like a very intelligent guy. He is, really. He's done very well in his life, one of the better educated guys I've met. But you can't deny that only a retarded, stupid man would comment negatively on the main aspect of a girlfriend's insecurity!

 

He was insecure too, about different reasons. And what did I do? I tried to reassure him as much as I can, like loving, intelligent, non-jerk people do!

[Knittress]

Maybe breast size doesn't matter that much to a lot of guys. Maybe it doesn't even matter as much to this particular guy as you (and he) thinks it does. But you definitely don't sound like this relationship is bringing out the best in you or making you happy.

[meerkat stew]

:/

 

I'm sorry, but that's stupid and offensive. I am an A cup. So stupid.

 

So your response to my very obvious, harmless joke is to internalize and personalize it unduly and call me stupid twice.

 

Small breasts aren't your problem.

 

There was recently a very long small penis thread here on LS, with lots of humor included from men and women, in which I can't remember any man taking the thread personally. Perhaps you should read that thread and learn from it.

[GorillaTheater]

But you definitely don't sound like this relationship is bringing out the best in you or making you happy.

 

This is the real problem you have; it's certainly not the size of your breasts. It just doesn't sound like this relationship is healthy for you. And if it's not healthy, why are you staying in it? There are plenty of men out there, and I do mean plenty, who would think that your breasts are fantastic, who would love you just as you are. So why put up with this guy's crap behavior?

[Philetus]

To me size on its own is irrelevant.

 

I'm attracted to proportion. There are women at my gym who are thin/skinny and have large breasts (implants?) and I don't find it attractive.

 

I prefer smaller breasts on a smaller woman, larger breasts on a curvy woman although I rarely date curvy women anymore.

 

Besides, I'm a leg man. I love legs.

[LosingBattle]

This is the real problem you have; it's certainly not the size of your breasts. It just doesn't sound like this relationship is healthy for you. And if it's not healthy, why are you staying in it? There are plenty of men out there, and I do mean plenty, who would think that your breasts are fantastic, who would love you just as you are. So why put up with this guy's crap behavior?

 

 

I'm not in a relationship now. I broke up with my ex a few months ago. We had sex the other day because, you know, that's what happens when you've recently broken up.

 

The guy I met recently, we talked and he said he kind of saw me as asexual because he tends to sort of separate sex from romantic interest. He said that he kind of has romantic interest in me, and thus, it's weird for him to think of me sexually.

 

That kind of sucks too, since I have no romantic interest in him, although he's quite attractive. I just don't want a relationship right now. That's why sometimes I just don't care if a guy "loves me for me" I want to be hot, I don't want to feel like "well at least guys don't want me for sex", like my small breasts act as a filter or any of those pity answers.

[threebyfate]

The breast size threads remind me of men's height or penis size threads. Zooming in on the physical, doesn't fix what needs fixing on the inside.

 

OP, you're looking for external validation to offset internal self-esteem issues. Genetics gave you what you have. Accept this and rather than zeroing in on something as meaningless as breasts, be happy that as you've stated, the rest of what you were given by genetics.

 

Most importantly, start working from the inside-out. When it comes down to it, a lot of attention from the wrong kind of men is way, way, way worse than having fewer of the right kind of men.

[JustJoe]

Tit size is only important in Dairy cattle, OP. In humans, unless you've got triplets or more, then the size of your top shelf isn't all that earth-shattering. My GF has fairly good-sized ones, but she's the only girl I've dated who has been so well-endowed. Mostly, as long as they are there, and natural, and in their proper place, size isn't an issue with me or with most men , either.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Well I am working with more than a handful and I guarantee that it has never helped me pull a guy outside of someone just wanting sex. I wish these things could snag me a man. My friends working with small/average assets pull guys left and right. Then again, the butt has become more popular, so perhaps that has something to do with it.

 

 

Hey wait a minute! I missed the scientifically calculated POINT in evolution when the butt passed breasts as being "more popular".

 

Did that happen somewhere near the point where PLUTO was deemed no longer a planet? Or when Haley's Comet roared back around?

 

 

C'mon, stop it ladies... the insecurities you're demonstrating are going to be your downfall.

 

 

This one is "working with more than a handful" and that factor "has never helped".

 

And "LosingBattle" finds a way to turn-around the obvious advantages to being gauged by breast size vs. being gauged by penis size.

 

*****************

Being gauged by penis size would have a guy playing suave and debonair at the hook-up joint before wooing a woman back to his place only to hit her with something ABOUT as jarring as would be disclosure of an STD, and doing so RIGHT at the moment where he is most exposed.

 

Not only that, but it can also work in the way of a woman who has made a long habit of dating only guys with giant, meaty penises, who then arrives at an average guy's bedroom only to react in near-horror at his average penis.

 

Women, by contrast, do not have to reach the point of greatest vulnerability (first naked moment) and spring any true breast-related SURPRISES on a sex partner.

 

*****************

 

Clarity: NO GUY who wouldn't touch breasts of whatever size yours might happen to be is going to be that person fawning all over you at whatever party or night spot you're at, wanting to date you tomorrow or go home with you tonight.

 

Thus, you take him home tonight... or next Friday... and you bare those breasts of exactly your size, and you play your hand as if you're the most fiery, foxy, and f*ckable babe who ever doffed her top.

 

*********************

 

Read more of LosingBattle's latest reply now:

 

(imagining just how thick the smoke might have been in that club) <ponders: "billowing" as a descriptive word>

 

Anyway, LosingBattle, your entire stance here doesn't allow for the CHANCE that YOUR GUY was the FLAWED INDIVIDUAL here... and that your BREASTS are fine!!

 

You DO need to do whatever you can to reverse the effects on your self-esteem that this BAD EX brought about.

 

It so totally ISN'T your breasts that are slowing your social life... it is the insecurity inspired in you by that bad ex. (now some foolish women would suggest implants would suddenly reverse that insecurity... but alas, implants are the biggest insecurity flag of all)

 

I was so hopeful at the first entry where you said: "I'd never" (get implants)

 

 

But you really have to convince yourself that your EX was the flawed individual, BOTH in terms of breasts, and in terms of the other reasons why you divorced him.

[meerkat stew]

Hey wait a minute! I missed the scientifically calculated POINT in evolution when the butt passed breasts as being "more popular".

 

This is actually the case, simple fact of anthropology going all the way back to when all primate sex was from behind. The missionary position is a relatively new development. It's why the ass is generally more covered than the breasts in female attire. Read a study years ago that cleavage display is actually totemic of the female rear end, not the breasts themselves. So in some ways, it's all about the view from the rear.

[LosingBattle]

A general question for men - do all of you think porn stars are hotter than normal women? I once asked my ex and he said he did think so, and that all guys do. That of course porn stars must be hotter than average because it's their job. And that yes, breast size did play a part in their hotness.

 

He said I shouldn't care because he enjoyed sex with me, and those girls wouldn't give him the time of day anyway.

 

Needless to say how all that made me feel =/

 

So do all guys feel that way about the bodies of porn stars? (Sluttiness and STDs aside... just the body types).

[Cracker Jack]

A general question for men - do all of you think porn stars are hotter than normal women? I once asked my ex and he said he did think so, and that all guys do. That of course porn stars must be hotter than average because it's their job. And that yes, breast size did play a part in their hotness.

 

He said I shouldn't care because he enjoyed sex with me, and those girls wouldn't give him the time of day anyway.

 

Needless to say how all that made me feel =/

 

So do all guys feel that way about the bodies of porn stars? (Sluttiness and STDs aside... just the body types).

 

Not at all.

 

Your ex clearly was not a good source for assessing a male's opinion.

[carhill]

A general question for men - do all of you think porn stars are hotter than normal women?

 

IMO, no. I don't think I could name a memorable porn star since the late 80's. The 70's and 80's, when VHS brought films into the home, was the 'golden age' of porn, IMO.

 

Here's one of the ladies from that era (mid 80's), Melissa Bardizbanian (aka Christy Canyon), signing autographs. I'm sure plenty of men would have and do find her natural breasts mesmerizing, but my memories of her were how she could kiss a man on screen and make you believe in her passion. If I saw her in an airport today, at 44, she'd be just like any other lady. A lot of the older former porn stars who still live in the LA area fly out of LAX and I have occasionally recognized them, but never have seen Melissa.

 

IMO, every man has an individual perspective on this subject. I personally feel the woman I'm in love with is the hottest woman on the planet. When I was in love with stbx, I had eyes for no other woman, sincerely. Other men may still love deeply, but their eyes wander situationally. Others may project those images upon their partner, desiring her to fulfill that fantasy. IMO, such are matters of compatibility and it's important to communicate how you feel. As an example, stbx ignored my 20 year collection of old Playboys on the condition that they were stored away in a tub in the shop office; there they have remained since, untouched for over ten years. What do you want?

[somedude81]

Christy Canyon is/was very attractive. Though her boobs are kind of wild when they aren't controlled

 

One of my favorite porn girls is Bree Olson up until the point where she started looking washed out.

 

My favorite girl is Jada Fire.

 

I guess I'm not really helping the OP's cause since I am posting pictures of attractive, large busted women. It's late and I don't even know what I should be doing

[MrNate]

Now this thread is taking a more fruitful turn.

 

 

Yes, it is all about the ass. Boobs are fairly irrelevant/outdated in my opinion. Plus one benefit is that you (women) have more control of the shape of your ass (squats, lunges, etc.) than you do with the type of chest you have, with out going under the knife.

 

So i say, win/win.

Edited August 19, 2010 by MrNate

[BlackLovely]

Speak for yourself. If you try to justify your preferences blaming women for other things, well, that shows your ignorance. For most decent women I know, penis size is low in the preference list. Also there is a thing as too big, you know. In my experience, average is best.

 

I'm guessing that since you are insecure about your breast size, you feel the need to lash out when someone gives his honest opinion.

Is a woman less decent if penis size is a high priority?? I once had a guy who was as small as my second finger...so glad I'm marrying a man with a gloriously satisfying penis.

[Philetus]

A general question for men - do all of you think porn stars are hotter than normal women?

 

So do all guys feel that way about the bodies of porn stars? (Sluttiness and STDs aside... just the body types).

 

No.

 

To be sure, there are some who are attractive but the general trend to have those enormous fake breasts doesn't do it for me.

 

There's something almost grotesque about them, borderline satirical.