Just some honest online dating critiquing would be great!

[dispatch3d]

The hair is fine, both short and long. The facial scruff is what is meh to me. Everybody looks better clean shaven.

 

I guess hair isn't the be all end all for me. I am more turned off by his height than his hair.

 

No offense, Raderick.

 

I can't even comprehend the height thing. I could understand if he was like 7 feed tall or 5 feet tall (ie. way out of the norm), but it seems like 5'3->6'4, at least from my perspective, shouldn't be a big deal.

 

I mean for me, 6'+ girls I probably wouldn't date unless I realllyyy liked her... Some lower limit would be like 4'9 or something. I'd muchmuch rather discriminate against more important things tho like interests/intellect/overall looks/etc.

[Raderick]

I guess my only problem right now is to figure out how to compound the three paragraph About Myself section into one nicely wrapped in a bow tie.

 

Gah I hate writing about myself!

[Raderick]

And I think I found me a good balance. I moved some stuff to other sections while trimming much of the fat.

[zengirl]

I guess my only problem right now is to figure out how to compound the three paragraph About Myself section into one nicely wrapped in a bow tie.

 

Gah I hate writing about myself!

 

How can a self-professed writer hate writing about themselves? I've never understood that. But that might be because it was the first thing we learned in my BFA program. . . all my teachers took a very sharp "If you can't write about yourself, you can't write about anything" POV.

 

I also find it amusing, because most people would say this, writers or no (They hate writing about themselves) and yet I've found, universally, and it's been well-documented long before I even lived, that everyone likes talking about themselves, whether they admit it or not.

 

I can't even comprehend the height thing. I could understand if he was like 7 feed tall or 5 feet tall (ie. way out of the norm), but it seems like 5'3->6'4, at least from my perspective, shouldn't be a big deal.

 

I mean for me, 6'+ girls I probably wouldn't date unless I realllyyy liked her... Some lower limit would be like 4'9 or something. I'd muchmuch rather discriminate against more important things tho like interests/intellect/overall looks/etc.

 

He's tall, so perhaps the girl who mentioned it was shorter. I know lots of short gals who don't particularly like dating tall guys. I'm about medium height myself, and not into wearing heels everywhere, so my thing is usually "taller than me" but not crazy-tall. But more than say a foot in height difference seems like it'd be a logistics issue, so I get that.

[Raderick]

How can a self-professed writer hate writing about themselves? I've never understood that. But that might be because it was the first thing we learned in my BFA program. . . all my teachers took a very sharp "If you can't write about yourself, you can't write about anything" POV.

 

I also find it amusing, because most people would say this, writers or no (They hate writing about themselves) and yet I've found, universally, and it's been well-documented long before I even lived, that everyone likes talking about themselves, whether they admit it or not.

 

I think you're confusing "don't want to" with "can't". I can easily write about myself without any issues, I just don't like to.

 

1. I tend to ramble, sometimes saying a little too much than what is needed

1a. I don't have a very good memory of my past, because of all that happened in my childhood. Long story.

2. I'd rather hear others' life stories, dissect them, and then go from there.

[zengirl]

I think you're confusing "don't want to" with "can't". I can easily write about myself without any issues, I just don't like to.

 

1. I tend to ramble, sometimes saying a little too much than what is needed

1a. I don't have a very good memory of my past, because of all that happened in my childhood. Long story.

2. I'd rather hear others' life stories, dissect them, and then go from there.

 

I suppose I'm thinking of how it reads on the actual profile (Your doesn't say this, thank goodness, but so many of them -- men and women -- say, "I hate writing about myself" and this amuses me.)

 

Also, this is where my own thorny viewpoint comes into view---I don't think anybody can do something well they didn't do with absolute joy. But that's got my whole view of life and the universe wrapped up in it. At any rate, I didn't mean any offense. Just thought it was funny.

 

As to your #2, I think that's how most people tend to react. It's the same as poker. There's strength in the last position to bet.

[MrNate]

Can someone critique my loveshack profile please?

 

 

 

[Raderick]

I suppose I'm thinking of how it reads on the actual profile (Your doesn't say this, thank goodness, but so many of them -- men and women -- say, "I hate writing about myself" and this amuses me.)

 

Also, this is where my own thorny viewpoint comes into view---I don't think anybody can do something well they didn't do with absolute joy. But that's got my whole view of life and the universe wrapped up in it. At any rate, I didn't mean any offense. Just thought it was funny.

 

As to your #2, I think that's how most people tend to react. It's the same as poker. There's strength in the last position to bet.

 

Trust me I don't like it just as much as you do and I find it just as amusing. And no offense taken, I didn't think of it as that way.

[Blade Runner]

I don't get why all these people are telling to to get a haircut. For every woman who hates long hair, there is another who would find it very attractive. But maybe not so much "in text". Put it this way. Sarah is 25. She says she won't date a guy with tattoos. Online, she filters out everyone who mentions tattoos. Two weeks later she's in a bar, she meets the best guy ever, he rolls up his shirt and he has a tattoo. By that stage, it doesn't matter, because she found out what a great guy he is. This match may never have happened online.

 

Your hair isn't even super long and I think it suits you pretty well. It's a kind of tidy-scruffy look. You seem like a cool guy man. I'd man-date you.

 

I don't know how many people in our age groups use online dating, maybe there are a decent amount in your area...but look at how picky and fickle everyone is about a profile. You could change it up a hundred ways and it would just turn someone else away anyway.

 

Anyone can say anything online. I find dating profiles phony as ever. They allow you to mould yourself into your own ideal. And that's not realistic. I suppose it can be. But who knows? It's all words. And it gives people reason to cut out of your profile before you've had a real shot. Alright so I see the point in giving out hobbies and the illusion of some kind of image, but even then, unless you really know what you're like (which most people really don't), then it's gonna seem tacky and contrived. That's just how I feel, though. Obviously people benifit from online dating. So there you go.

 

As for this..

 

-I don't think anybody can do something well they didn't do with absolute joy.[/Quote]You know to some degree, I agree. But I see it more as a bittersweet thing when it comes to writing, or other types of art. Many of the great poets, artists, writers have said how much they hate writing about themselves but not because of the actual task, but because of what they think of themselves. And afterall, it is often a mirror reflection. Not many great writers look like Brad Pitt, are 6' + and have women around their shoulders at all times. And that's where the great stuff comes from. And it's not beautiful. It's not a pretty eighteen year old who says how much writing means to him or her. It's a wounded soldier pouring his guts out on the page and cringing at every thought. And then maybe he says, "Damn it, I did good". But it was painful. And beautiful. But that's love right? That's why we're all here. It's no easy ride.

 

To quote George Orwell:

 

"Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand. "

Of course there are plenty of people who would disagree...although maybe not quite as many on his level. Either way, he certainly did it well.

 

All I really wanted to say was Good luck Rederick. So Good luck.

Edited July 29, 2010 by Blade Runner

[bac]

I have noticed more and more of the guys on OKCupid as of late that are ripped, showing off their bikes/import cars and other women they hang out with. Ultimately that is what attracts a good majority of women, so be it.

 

When I saw your pic with your face visible, I thought that you were very attractive, so, you have a good potential to take quality pics of yourself someday.

Being ripped typically helps unless you are shirtless (being shirtless is great on AFF), quality bikes and cars are OK, a picture with another woman creates instant rejection, any pictures with your eyes not visible (sunglasses, or bad quality of picture) are useless.

Women automatically/unconsiously read all the chemistry from your eyes expression right away. That is why your eyes are the first thing girls want to see. If they feel some chemistry from your pictures, they will continue reading your profile.

[zengirl]

Touche. I actually had a miserable time reading Animal Farm in school. Maybe I could sense his torture.

I definitely think the best dating profiles are written by the people who had fun writing them, though. Just my experience, reading them.

 

But that's just a little observation.

 

...but look at how picky and fickle everyone is about a profile. You could change it up a hundred ways and it would just turn someone else away anyway.

So true!

 

I really don't think good dating profiles are all that fake---once you've done online dating for awhile (I did it at 20-25 now, whenever I didn't have a fellow, though didn't meet all my guys on there), you get pretty good at reading people through the profile. Of course, that might also be my particular somewhat nerdy demo. It's easy to spot the places where they've puffed it up or been at a loss for what to say. Especially with the OKCupid format. I like their general way of asking things because it shows who's willing to be reflective and who's not.

[Raderick]

I'm adding this little bulb to the very beginning:

 

"The name's Dakota, not Fanning. Figured I'd get it out of the way right from the get-go."

 

Thoughts?

[zengirl]

I'm adding this little bulb to the very beginning:

 

"The name's Dakota, not Fanning. Figured I'd get it out of the way right from the get-go."

 

Thoughts?

 

I hate it. It's one of those jokes that screams of "trying too hard." Like it makes you want to say, "Ha ha" but not laugh because it's obviously a joke and not at all funny. Those only work, in person, if you're a really goofy person with good delivery and some charm. Never in print.

 

If you want to include your name, I think the best place is in the "Message Me If" but since you're a fellow, and let's be honest, nobody's going to be contacting you that much (You're going to have to write folks), you can always just put your name in the message.

[LexiB]

I'm adding this little bulb to the very beginning:

 

"The name's Dakota, not Fanning. Figured I'd get it out of the way right from the get-go."

 

Thoughts?

 

ixna the okeja

[Raderick]

ixna the okeja

 

Hahahaha.

[Raderick]

If you folks want to, you can re-critique the OKCupid profile, sans photos.

 

p.s. The hair's staying put