Just some honest online dating critiquing would be great!

[shadowplay]

I don't like tattoos. Personal preference.

 

That's fine, but will you at least consider a haircut?

[Raderick]

I think you need to retake your photos once you've gotten a decent hair cut and shaved your face.

 

It's frustrating that I know this would help you a lot, but you probably won't follow my advice.

 

Let me ask you this: What do YOU constitute to be a "decent" haircut? Pictures would be helpful. I totally get the shaved face and all, but not the haircut part.

[shadowplay]

Let me ask you this: What do YOU constitute to be a "decent" haircut? Pictures would be helpful. I totally get the shaved face and all, but not the haircut part.

 

Just a normal haircut with a bit of subtle style like:

 

http://worldhairstyles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/short-hairstyle-for-guys.jpg

 

http://bp1.blogger.com/_LouYd9QyGVo/RxfPj9rNhWI/AAAAAAAAAA0/hEkcYpKOk44/s320/brad_pitt1_300_400.jpg

 

In your most recent photo your hair is in this uncomfortable place between long and short. You should cut it shorter, and lose the bangs (they almost never look good on guys). Get it professionally cut by somebody good.

[Raderick]

That sucks. Those pics were the best ones.

 

Well in all honesty, those were pretty bad. My pants I have to admit were too big; I was basically in a transitional period in which I was losing weight at the time. I knew I didn't want to buy pants at the time knowing I'm losing more weight, and then those pants would end up too big.

[zengirl]

OK here is mine Critique it please.

 

 

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LusciousLuke3

 

Photos

 

1) Two dirt bike pictures are superfluous. Unless you really, really, really only want a girl who's into dirt bikes, cut one.

 

2) I don't like cell phone pics. But OKCupid says they do just fine (though that was for women I think. . . ) So, it may not be an issue. I don't think you look good in it anyway, compared to the others.

 

3) I might put a different picture for the first one. Only because when I see "hat," in the top pic I think, "No hair/losing hair." Really, that's a bigger thing with me than height---which is almost a nonissue---and same goes with most women I know. Though you're 23, so it might not be as immediate in a girl's mind.

 

4) Good dress-up/dress-down variety. I think you need more pics that show character, though.

 

Self-Summary

You need one. The essential you-ness of you should shine here. It definitely doesn't unless you are just a cliche, blank guy that dirt-bikes.

 

I'm a hard working, honest, trustworthy guy. I go for what I want.

 

Show, don't tell. This is lame. And never say you're honest and trustworthy. All that does is remind people of dishonest, untrustworthy people.

 

I love riding dirt bikes, I own a 2007 YZ450F

 

I'd stay clear of listing the kind of bike you own, unless you're ONLY looking for girls who also like it. (If she does like it, she can ask you what kind or observe the picture.) Also, WHY do you love riding dirt bikes? That's 100x more interesting than the fact that you like it, generally, if you can manage to express it. Keep in mind the girl probably isn't going to like it.

 

What I'm Doing

 

I'm currently in an Electrical Apprenticeship program.

Have been working as an Electrician since the age of 16.

 

This is fine, though I'd re-word it in such a way to look like you're advancing your career:

 

"I've been working as an electrician since I was 16, and I'm currently working on the Electrical Apprenticeship program."

 

Just re-writing the order, makes it seem psychologically like you're keeping up with training, which is more ambitious and thus better. Do you have further goals for it? I'm not saying you have to, but if you want to be a contractor someday, or get further certifications, I'd at least mention that. If you don't, don't lie or anything.

 

Are you doing anything else with your life? Dreams? Passions? Volunteer work?

 

Really Good At

 

Giving you my honest opinion.

 

This is not a skill. Everyone can do this. And lose the word "Honest!"

 

Working with my hands.

Building things.

 

"Working with my hands" is a cliche that makes me think smarmy. Building things is good. Maybe elaborate on what. I'd add fixing things too (I'm assuming that you can also fix things if you can build them.)

 

Making you smile.

 

Ugh. Cheesy. Write a profile that makes a girl smile, if you want to be seem as a fun, funny guy. Never say things like this; it automatically makes me think, "Yeah, right" and has the opposite effect. It's like when someone says, "Trust me"

 

First Things

 

My smile. I get a lot of people that ask me what I'm smiling or laughing about. I'm just happy, everyday is a gift. Some days are better then others but it's still a gift.

 

Cheesy again. And over-selling. The more you sell, the less I believe. Lose the underlined part. The rest says it for you. We get it: You're smiling. You're happy. Thus, you're a positive person. Let people draw their own inferences; with one this easy, anyone can.

 

My Favorites

 

1.) I always advise everyone to add at least 1 book or something they've read. But if you really hate reading, I understand leaving it off.

 

2.) It's really short. Most people have much larger walls. I use mine to click-through the tags to see people with similar interests. Of course, some of the walls of text are lame and too much, and at least you don't suffer from the whole "I like everything." But your profile is too short to have much to talk about unless she likes dirt bikes. So, add what you can, if there are other things you like.

 

3.) Radio stations. . . eh, I always think band lists are more effective. But that may be because I like mostly things they don't play as much on the radio, so what do I know?

 

4) "Mexican is my favorite food. Spicy food is the best." (I'm not fixing all the grammar errors in the profile, as I think there were a few others. And some minor ones aren't going to be a big deal to most folks. But this one was pretty glaring to me because it made me re-read the sentence for meaning.)

 

6 Things

 

Really boring. You don't have to be so literal. Just list 6 things you like -- and specific things are better. Everyone lists friends and family (FWIW, I do too, usually) but list some other, specific-to-you stuff.

 

The "my career" is odd. . . maybe because you haven't expressed any particular reason why you like your career yet. (I mean, everybody needs money, but nobody really lists it there.)

 

I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About

 

This whole thing is pretty trite. Isn't there one concrete (specific) thing that you can list?

 

Blahblahblah happycakes. I mean. Look, I'm "zen"girl. But my profile doesn't talk about how happy and present and aware I am, really, it just references things that show those things are interwoven into my life, like certain things I do and the reason behind them. For instance, in this spot, I have a zen koan I heard from a friend the other day and a silly comment from a student that I pondered. Just sit down and think of something. And then write it.

 

Typical Friday Night

 

The no negatives rule dictates removing this one:

 

Staying in after busting my ass all week long.

 

You can say something like "Staying in after a long work-week" or something if you want, though. (I don't really see the point in it; everybody stays in when tired and it tells little about you.) "Busting my ass" just sounds so angry/negative.

 

The rest is fine, but clubs/casinos are going to attract a certain kind of gal, even writing about them. Just be aware.

 

Most Private Thing

 

My heart has been absolutely ripped out in the past. That doesn't mean I'll give up on finding that special someone. I never will.

 

Just don't say it.

 

Man, you don't really have to say the most private thing you'd ever admit. Say something endearing. I list some "flaws" here and fears here, but they're the "Aww... that's cute" flaws and the "That's so funny!" fears.

 

Besides, as Haruki Murakami says,

 

"What do you think? I'm not a starfish or a pepper tree. I'm a living, breathing human being. Of course I've been in love."

 

People assume you've been in love after a certain age. That doesn't mean they want to hear about it right away!

 

You Should Message Me If

 

Are looking for a man not a boy. You want to get to know me. You want a guy who wouldn't always be looking to upgrade. ALSO dont waste my time if you are just seeking attention through emails on this site.

 

It's all negative stuff, except "You want to get to know me." This is your chance to write about things in other people that interest you. EVEN AS A GIRL, who gets tons of creepy, creepy emails, I refrain from putting any "don'ts" or "You're not" statements in.

 

Mostly, they don't keep away the people you want them to, if they want to contact you (Not a problem for guys anyway, usually). And they certainly don't appeal to the people you want them to.

 

Besides, why would anyone want to get to know you? You haven't really said much of anything about yourself. All I know is you're an emotionally-wounded, angry electrician with a dirtbike who likes Mexican food. I don't even know if/why you like your job or why you like dirtbiking. Who are you?

 

Sorry if I sound harsh. . . just trying to help. Good luck.

[Raderick]

I have to admit, I also went straight for the pics and didn't read the profile. When I saw the Comic Con pics I thought "Oh, this is a guy that would be interesting to me". But my avatar is from a webcomic, my top two favorite series are graphic novels, and I use to be a moderator at a manga forum, so I'm biased.

 

Quite funny!

[zengirl]

Originally Posted by Raderick

What do you folks think of this?

 

http://k0.cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_ok...980658040.jpeg

 

Honestly, it's a good picture for your friend, and a not-so-great one for you. He looks more animated, fun, and cuter in it. Thus, I wouldn't put it up personally. I always try to put up pictures where I'm the most attractive person in them. (Shallow, sure, but it's the ugly bridesmaids dress principle, and it's worked since the beginning of time.)

[Raderick]

Honestly, it's a good picture for your friend, and a not-so-great one for you. He looks more animated, fun, and cuter in it. Thus, I wouldn't put it up personally. I always try to put up pictures where I'm the most attractive person in them. (Shallow, sure, but it's the ugly bridesmaids dress principle, and it's worked since the beginning of time.)

 

That's Steve-O. It's in my caption.

[zengirl]

That's Steve-O. It's in my caption.

 

Well, it doesn't matter his name. The principle is still the same is all I'm saying.

 

I forgot. . . I don't think the haircut is an issue in it. (Actually, I didn't think your haircut was all that bad in the others. The ill-fitting clothes, if they're not a style for you and just a weight loss in-between, might be an issue. The facial hair here looks meh---not committed and not clean-shaven. But I'm not a fan of facial hair.) I think the Brad Pitt/guy from the Fast and the Furious haircut pics the other poster put up would look pretty bad on you.

 

I wonder how old the "Get a haircut!" folks are. I mean, I like a cleaner look, but it mattered way less when I was 22. There is a certain point at which we all get a haircut---my hair had hot pink in it when I was 22.

[Knittress]

This is not against you Raderick, but the general theme of profile-helping that's been cropping up these past few days. If we HELP folks sound less arrogant, clingy, meanspirited, or what-have-you - how are we going to be able to avoid having bad dates with those types of people?

[Raderick]

Steve-O is a celebrity. When I saw the pic I thought he looked the way fans always look when they take their pics with celebrities.

 

^^^ Gets it. He's the goofball of all goofballs.

[Raderick]

This is not against you Raderick, but the general theme of profile-helping that's been cropping up these past few days. If we HELP folks sound less arrogant, clingy, meanspirited, or what-have-you - how are we going to be able to avoid having bad dates with those types of people?

 

I couldn't tell if that was directed at me or at everyone else

[shadowplay]

Well, it doesn't matter his name. The principle is still the same is all I'm saying.

 

I forgot. . . I don't think the haircut is an issue in it. (Actually, I didn't think your haircut was all that bad in the others. The ill-fitting clothes, if they're not a style for you and just a weight loss in-between, might be an issue. The facial hair here looks meh---not committed and not clean-shaven. But I'm not a fan of facial hair.) I think the Brad Pitt/guy from the Fast and the Furious haircut pics the other poster put up would look pretty bad on you.

 

I wonder how old the "Get a haircut!" folks are. I mean, I like a cleaner look, but it mattered way less when I was 22. There is a certain point at which we all get a haircut---my hair had hot pink in it when I was 22.

 

I'm 26, and I definitely think his hair is a problem. It's something all girls notice.

[Raderick]

Well, it doesn't matter his name. The principle is still the same is all I'm saying.

 

I forgot. . . I don't think the haircut is an issue in it. (Actually, I didn't think your haircut was all that bad in the others. The ill-fitting clothes, if they're not a style for you and just a weight loss in-between, might be an issue. The facial hair here looks meh---not committed and not clean-shaven. But I'm not a fan of facial hair.) I think the Brad Pitt/guy from the Fast and the Furious haircut pics the other poster put up would look pretty bad on you.

 

I wonder how old the "Get a haircut!" folks are. I mean, I like a cleaner look, but it mattered way less when I was 22. There is a certain point at which we all get a haircut---my hair had hot pink in it when I was 22.

 

I understand the short hair and why certain women would be attracted to it. I usually got compliments about the long hair, then I hacked it off and I got a few "you look good in short hair" comments. The look has to fit the person.

[zengirl]

I'm 26, and I definitely think his hair is a problem. It's something all girls notice.

 

I'm 25. I don't love the old hair, but the shorter hair seems fine. It wouldn't be an issue for me. Mullets bother me. Hair loss bothers me. A little bit of nerdy/grunge mess is pretty typical of the guys I know.

 

Honestly, I don't see him dating a salon-type gal anyway (But maybe I'm wrong). What with being an outdoorsy nerd, I just assumed he'd find someone a little more nerdy/granola.

[Raderick]

I'm 25. I don't love the old hair, but the shorter hair seems fine. It wouldn't be an issue for me. Mullets bother me. Hair loss bothers me. A little bit of nerdy/grunge mess is pretty typical of the guys I know.

 

Honestly, I don't see him dating a salon-type gal anyway (But maybe I'm wrong). What with being an outdoorsy nerd, I just assumed he'd find someone a little more nerdy/granola.

 

I like that you folks are debating on what women I'm trying to date. It's making my day, that's for sure!

[zengirl]

I like that you folks are debating on what women I'm trying to date. It's making my day, that's for sure!

 

Well, I was kind of waiting for you to interject. . . hence the "(But I really don't know!)"

 

It's true that some girls won't date a fellow who's not clean cut.

Or who has comicon pictures.

Or

Or

Or

Or

 

Besides, a few basics about how to write about yourself, a lot of it is finding someone compatible.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I like that you folks are debating on what women I'm trying to date. It's making my day, that's for sure!

 

Actually it's the key point of creating your profile. You should gear it towards the woman you want to attract. Know your audience!

[Raderick]

Well, I was kind of waiting for you to interject. . . hence the "(But I really don't know!)"

 

It's true that some girls won't date a fellow who's not clean cut.

Or who has comicon pictures.

Or

Or

Or

Or

 

Besides, a few basics about how to write about yourself, a lot of it is finding someone compatible.

 

Well to be honest I don't look for a certain "type" in that I'm looking for specifically an athlete or a nerd-type or a gamer. I dated three types of people (the popular girl, the up-tight evangelical and the gamer/bookworm type) and all three had their positives and negatives.

[Raderick]

I guess hair isn't the be all end all for me. I am more turned off by his height than his hair.

 

No offense, Raderick.

 

It's totally fine!

[Raderick]

Well to be honest I don't look for a certain "type" in that I'm looking for specifically an athlete or a nerd-type or a gamer. I dated three types of people (the popular girl, the up-tight evangelical and the gamer/bookworm type) and all three had their positives and negatives.

 

I also can't really characterize myself. I played sports for a long time and I still love sports with a passion. I love music and it's almost therapy to me, and I like to play video games. The one thing I guess wouldn't fit my bill is partying. I'll go to parties if I'm given a formal invite and may enjoy them but I wouldn't go out of my way to find a party just for the hell of it.

[zengirl]

I also can't really characterize myself. I played sports for a long time and I still love sports with a passion. I love music and it's almost therapy to me, and I like to play video games. The one thing I guess wouldn't fit my bill is partying. I'll go to parties if I'm given a formal invite and may enjoy them but I wouldn't go out of my way to find a party just for the hell of it.

 

You have to build your own character. That's likely what's missing from the writing.

 

For instance, I'm nerdy, into traveling, into meditation, into hiking/outdoorsy things, and I love fashion. All of that is in my profile, but I paint a picture, geared towards (a) the guys I like, (b) the person I am. So, I portray myself as basically: brainy, whimsical, and adventurous (traveling/outdoorsy/spirituality all go into here). I think OKCupid had the right idea with the 3 traits back in the day.

 

Since I can only list so many "favorites" without posting a wall of text, I list my absolute favorites but also favor the ones I know a guy will favor, over some maybe equal favorites that is less likely to be in the guy's list. For instance, if I like Douglas Adams and Jane Austen equally (which I do), Douglas Adams is going to get profile-space first, because a guy who's searching is more likely to see the common interest. That said, my favorite book is terribly girly, and it still gets listed. And I doubt the men who read my profile have a collection of bird-themed jewelry, but I still show it off in my pictures in a whimsical way and note it with a caption.

[TaurusTerp]

I dont think the long hair is so much the problem as the goatee/beard thing. It looks really bad.

 

Style is subjective, and I'm sure the case could be made for a grungy rocker look, but I think you'd be better suited with less baggy clothes. Of course, then it's not a real depiction of you...but hey everyone lies

 

I also second the better "main picture". Guy on rock is not going to get a high response rate.

[Raderick]

...but I think you'd be better suited with less baggy clothes. Of course, then it's not a real depiction of you...but hey everyone lies

 

I already explained why the baggy pants are there, since then I already bought some pants that fit better. Some of my shirts still fit pretty well so I have them around.

[TaurusTerp]

I already explained why the baggy pants are there, since then I already bought some pants that fit better. Some of my shirts still fit pretty well so I have them around.

 

Ah, sorry, missed that. Well shave the goatee, take some new pictures, and best of luck man