Raderick Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=17673392 http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DGreen024 Thanks in advanced!
Author Raderick Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 Too add on (because LS won't let me edit my open posts after two minutes), I've been having a hard time getting responses. yeah, I understand the male:female ratio, but I do try to mention things about their profile, ask questions and introduce myself and wish for a reply back, but usually with little results (maybe one message every other month from women that I have no interest in)
Knittress Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I generally like you, but you're too young for me to consider sexy. Sorry! Hm... your okc profile is a bit too wordy, that'd be my biggest complaint. For some reason I associate too much self reflection in a profile as a tendency to be a stick-in-the-mud or potentially-emo type - based solely and unfairly on my OWN youth and bad profile writing. We're 69% compatible. ;>)
Author Raderick Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 I generally like you, but you're too young for me to consider sexy. Sorry! Hm... your okc profile is a bit too wordy, that'd be my biggest complaint. For some reason I associate too much self reflection in a profile as a tendency to be a stick-in-the-mud or potentially-emo type - based solely and unfairly on my OWN youth and bad profile writing. We're 69% compatible. ;>) Totally understood, and thanks!
zengirl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 (edited) I don't know anything about POF (who's on there, etc), so I just looked at the OKCupid. Sorry if this is nitpicky. It's basically everything I thought, and I like to be thorough: Overall thoughts: I highlighted any actual issues. . . most of these are nitpicks. I will say, your profile doesn't strike me as the profile of a writer. It lacks specific details and paints a really broad picture, and specifics are something writers are generally really good at finding. I'd encourage you to challenge yourself to find specifics and "Show, don't tell" just as a writing exercise, if nothing else. Most people can't write worth a damn, and I'm not implying your writing is terrible or anything, so this isn't necessarily going to significantly impact your success rate. (Most people just look at interests and pictures, a few actually read for tone, and a very select few consider diction at all. . . though those interested in writing are most likely to, if you like girls who also write.) But it could help with quality of initial conversations. It paints a clearer picture. Pictures I think you do a pretty decent job of using your pictures to tell a story too. I'm surprised at how few people do this --- too many people put up just a plain shot of themselves or a bunch of plain shots. Weird to me. As if a photo can only tell us what they look like! 1) I'm unsure at the effectiveness of your initial picture. This may be less necessary for me, who do most of the first-messaging, but generally, if I can't see a face in a person's picture when they pop up somewhere on the site, I feel like I'm less likely to click-through (not an issue with messages). However, the shot is interesting in composition, so the artsy person in me likes it. Just not sure it isn't a bit self-defeating here. Of course, you don't really have a good portrait shot. As boring as they are, I think everybody should just have a basic plain photo that shows their face. 2) I do like that first picture as a picture a lot, and I think it achieves showing personality through photos. But isn't it Big Sur? The ComicCon and fair shot also do something to show personality (though they're going to turn certain women off---it depends how broad you want your net to be), as do the hiking/outdoors shots. 3) I think the Top 3 photos (that fan out) are most important, as its the first thing I check as a gal when looking at a fellow's profile. In your profile, I'd change it so that you have a basic portrait shot (not there yet), the black and white shot, and either the eyes-closed outside shot or the hiking shot just below it to the Top 3. I'd mix in the different kinds of shots (instead of having both ComicCon shots in a row, mingle them with the hiking, etc). It's kind of like a lead-in. Don't bury the lead. The outdoorsy stuff is likely to interest a larger segment of women than the ComicCon shots which fan out currently. Self Summary 1) Is that quote truly important to you. I like quotes in profiles, but that one doesn't seem terribly original or telling about you. (I'm not saying you don't like to be nice and all, but is that a quote you had in your head, or just one you looked up that you felt said something you wanted to say?) It feels a bit generic and weak as a lead-in. 2) This bit So is this the part where I talk about myself? Yes it is! So I like long walks on the beach, sunsets, singing in the rain…etc. etc. Seriously. I do.is also weak. It's not going to send people running away or anything, but it's a joke that falls a little flat. I think the humor behind it is good, but I think you can come up with a more interesting lead-in. Personal-ad cliches, even recognizing they're cliches and making the joke, and "Is this the part where I talk about myself?" are almost generic on that site. I mean, if you are a writer, challenge yourself to write something where you don't require a rambling introduction, where you dive right into the meat of who you are. Show, don't tell. 3) Eliminate all negatives is still a rule. Yours is minor, but I'd get rid of or re-word: Not exactly the greatest of townsThis joke also fails and looks a bit critical/negative in tone to me, but in an extremely minor way (Meaning, it flagged in my mind, but if you really like it, even I'd say "keep it") I know you didn't mean it literally. . . but the tone is just weird. had I not been a sports fan, I would have been sent off to a foster home as a kid4) My favorite part of this portion of the profile is this: Beach + Rain = Greatness. It's concise, says something about you, and doesn't seem cliche. 5) There are a huge number of cliches in your writing. I mostly mention these because you also claim to be a writer in the profile -- most people have loads of cliches, and I've accepted many people just aren't natural writers -- and it looks like a first-off. It doesn't look edited or focused at all. I think people who claim to be writers are held to a higher standard, even in dating profiles. All of that said: I think it largely portrays you in a positive fashion. I get a vibe of someone who has their own well-developed interests, a sense of where he's going and where he's been, and has a good, silly sense of humor. What I'm Doing With My Life 1) The cheap plug goes to a suspended account. That's weird. 2) Why did you [[highlight]] random words. That annoys me. A lot. 3) This isn't the only incidence, but passive phrasing is an issue. A place where it really bothers me is Creative writing has been a passion for virtually all of my speaking life. I'd re-write things like this sharper, like: "Since I could speak, I've wanted to tell and write stories." (Although in general, it's an odd statement, because who can write when they learn to speak?) Meaning: You should be the subject here, not the writing. The "has been" gives it a weird passive tone. And while we're on this subject, WHAT do you write? You talk about writing so much, but not what you write. Again, none of these really matter in the grand scheme of these. 4) Actual Issue: This is an actual content issue, so I'll highlight it --- the way you highlight living alone ("not depending on anyone") makes you seem like a loner to me. I don't know if that was intentional. Really Good At You say you don't like cookie cutter stuff, but this is totally cookie cutter. What do you do out of the norm? This one strikes me as odd in a bad way: being calm in uncomfortable and unknown situations. The others just seem really cliche, except for maybe the remembering useless trivia (that denotes a specific type of person at least). Everybody says they're a good listener, you give no examples for how you surprise people, and everybody talks about random things. The key is to be specific. The First Thing Honestly, (2) and (3) come off wrong. And anyway, the "My smile" bit conveys optimism all by itself. (If they're noticing it, that means they see you smiling right-off, not just that it's attractive: Kills 2 birds with 1 stone, to borrow a cliche.) I'd cut down to "My smile" and leave it at that. Books, etc 1) It's "piques" (my interest). 2) I'd advise you to cut the writing bit from the Books list (yes, yes, you're a writer, it's becoming redundant). List an adventure novel or two that you really like, if you like the genre. What kind of autobiographies? Memoir? Famous folks? Historical figures? Artists? Writers? 3) A lot of "currently" with books, movies, etc which seems weird. I prefer listing favorites to "currents" since current changes more than people update their profiles and favorites say more about you. This tends to be the first section most folk I know look at, in terms of the written pieces, as it's easy to see common interests. 4) An actual issue The mocking sexual joke in the TV section is going to come across as cheesy or even turn some folks off. I'd always stay away from that stuff. Remember, this is a first introduction. 5) I hate when folks just say they're all over the place musically. Man, everybody thinks they like everything. Just put down a Desert Island list, you know you have one. And then feel free to mention you like other stuff too, but at least give people a gist and something to talk about. No thoughts on 6 things or spend a lot of time thinking about. Typical Friday Night While I hate this question and generally put the lame responses (though every once and awhile, I do see an awesome one) down to the question itself being silly, I don't get the "far, far away in another world" line unless it's a drug reference. Less is more here, unless you're going to write something interesting. Everyone says the same things. Most Private Thing These are a dime a dozen: Well, it wouldn't be so private here on the Internet, right? Just ask, and ye shall receive! I used to say something like this too, I think, so I don't blame you. But it's a lot of folks (men and women I've talked to) pet peeves when people answer this way. (Actually, my profile is down now, due to moving, but I'll throw one back up again when I do; I still mock the question, but I also mention some "Just me" kind of facts under here.) Message Me If: ...we share the same interestinterests ...you want to meet a person that will listen to what you have to sayI'd delete. Seems trying-to-hard/cliche/ish. ...you think I am worth a conversation?"...you want to talk to me." would be so much better. The word "worth" has such a negative tone attached here. Edited July 25, 2010 by zengirl
Author Raderick Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 I don't know anything about POF (who's on there, etc), so I just looked at the OKCupid. Sorry if this is nitpicky. It's basically everything I thought, and I like to be thorough: Overall thoughts: I highlighted any actual issues. . . most of these are nitpicks. I will say, your profile doesn't strike me as the profile of a writer. It lacks specific details and paints a really broad picture, and specifics are something writers are generally really good at finding. I'd encourage you to challenge yourself to find specifics and "Show, don't tell" just as a writing exercise, if nothing else. Most people can't write worth a damn, and I'm not implying your writing is terrible or anything, so this isn't necessarily going to significantly impact your success rate. (Most people just look at interests and pictures, a few actually read for tone, and a very select few consider diction at all. . . though those interested in writing are most likely to, if you like girls who also write.) But it could help with quality of initial conversations. It paints a clearer picture. Pictures I think you do a pretty decent job of using your pictures to tell a story too. I'm surprised at how few people do this --- too many people put up just a plain shot of themselves or a bunch of plain shots. Weird to me. As if a photo can only tell us what they look like! 1) I'm unsure at the effectiveness of your initial picture. This may be less necessary for me, who do most of the first-messaging, but generally, if I can't see a face in a person's picture when they pop up somewhere on the site, I feel like I'm less likely to click-through (not an issue with messages). However, the shot is interesting in composition, so the artsy person in me likes it. Just not sure it isn't a bit self-defeating here. Of course, you don't really have a good portrait shot. As boring as they are, I think everybody should just have a basic plain photo that shows their face. 2) I do like that first picture as a picture a lot, and I think it achieves showing personality through photos. But isn't it Big Sur? The ComicCon and fair shot also do something to show personality (though they're going to turn certain women off---it depends how broad you want your net to be), as do the hiking/outdoors shots. 3) I think the Top 3 photos (that fan out) are most important, as its the first thing I check as a gal when looking at a fellow's profile. In your profile, I'd change it so that you have a basic portrait shot (not there yet), the black and white shot, and either the eyes-closed outside shot or the hiking shot just below it to the Top 3. I'd mix in the different kinds of shots (instead of having both ComicCon shots in a row, mingle them with the hiking, etc). It's kind of like a lead-in. Don't bury the lead. The outdoorsy stuff is likely to interest a larger segment of women than the ComicCon shots which fan out currently. Self Summary 1) Is that quote truly important to you. I like quotes in profiles, but that one doesn't seem terribly original or telling about you. (I'm not saying you don't like to be nice and all, but is that a quote you had in your head, or just one you looked up that you felt said something you wanted to say?) It feels a bit generic and weak as a lead-in. 2) This bit is also weak. It's not going to send people running away or anything, but it's a joke that falls a little flat. I think the humor behind it is good, but I think you can come up with a more interesting lead-in. Personal-ad cliches, even recognizing they're cliches and making the joke, and "Is this the part where I talk about myself?" are almost generic on that site. I mean, if you are a writer, challenge yourself to write something where you don't require a rambling introduction, where you dive right into the meat of who you are. Show, don't tell. 3) Eliminate all negatives is still a rule. Yours is minor, but I'd get rid of or re-word: This joke also fails and looks a bit critical/negative in tone to me, but in an extremely minor way (Meaning, it flagged in my mind, but if you really like it, even I'd say "keep it") I know you didn't mean it literally. . . but the tone is just weird. 4) My favorite part of this portion of the profile is this: It's concise, says something about you, and doesn't seem cliche. 5) There are a huge number of cliches in your writing. I mostly mention these because you also claim to be a writer in the profile -- most people have loads of cliches, and I've accepted many people just aren't natural writers -- and it looks like a first-off. It doesn't look edited or focused at all. I think people who claim to be writers are held to a higher standard, even in dating profiles. All of that said: I think it largely portrays you in a positive fashion. I get a vibe of someone who has their own well-developed interests, a sense of where he's going and where he's been, and has a good, silly sense of humor. What I'm Doing With My Life 1) The cheap plug goes to a suspended account. That's weird. 2) Why did you [[highlight]] random words. That annoys me. A lot. 3) This isn't the only incidence, but passive phrasing is an issue. A place where it really bothers me is I'd re-write things like this sharper, like: "Since I could speak, I've wanted to tell and write stories." (Although in general, it's an odd statement, because who can write when they learn to speak?) Meaning: You should be the subject here, not the writing. The "has been" gives it a weird passive tone. And while we're on this subject, WHAT do you write? You talk about writing so much, but not what you write. Again, none of these really matter in the grand scheme of these. 4) Actual Issue: This is an actual content issue, so I'll highlight it --- the way you highlight living alone ("not depending on anyone") makes you seem like a loner to me. I don't know if that was intentional. Really Good At You say you don't like cookie cutter stuff, but this is totally cookie cutter. What do you do out of the norm? This one strikes me as odd in a bad way: The others just seem really cliche, except for maybe the remembering useless trivia (that denotes a specific type of person at least). Everybody says they're a good listener, you give no examples for how you surprise people, and everybody talks about random things. The key is to be specific. The First Thing Honestly, (2) and (3) come off wrong. And anyway, the "My smile" bit conveys optimism all by itself. (If they're noticing it, that means they see you smiling right-off, not just that it's attractive: Kills 2 birds with 1 stone, to borrow a cliche.) I'd cut down to "My smile" and leave it at that. Books, etc 1) It's "piques" (my interest). 2) I'd advise you to cut the writing bit from the Books list (yes, yes, you're a writer, it's becoming redundant). List an adventure novel or two that you really like, if you like the genre. What kind of autobiographies? Memoir? Famous folks? Historical figures? Artists? Writers? 3) A lot of "currently" with books, movies, etc which seems weird. I prefer listing favorites to "currents" since current changes more than people update their profiles and favorites say more about you. This tends to be the first section most folk I know look at, in terms of the written pieces, as it's easy to see common interests. 4) An actual issue The mocking sexual joke in the TV section is going to come across as cheesy or even turn some folks off. I'd always stay away from that stuff. Remember, this is a first introduction. 5) I hate when folks just say they're all over the place musically. Man, everybody thinks they like everything. Just put down a Desert Island list, you know you have one. And then feel free to mention you like other stuff too, but at least give people a gist and something to talk about. No thoughts on 6 things or spend a lot of time thinking about. Typical Friday Night While I hate this question and generally put the lame responses (though every once and awhile, I do see an awesome one) down to the question itself being silly, I don't get the "far, far away in another world" line unless it's a drug reference. Less is more here, unless you're going to write something interesting. Everyone says the same things. Most Private Thing These are a dime a dozen: I used to say something like this too, I think, so I don't blame you. But it's a lot of folks (men and women I've talked to) pet peeves when people answer this way. (Actually, my profile is down now, due to moving, but I'll throw one back up again when I do; I still mock the question, but I also mention some "Just me" kind of facts under here.) Message Me If: interests I'd delete. Seems trying-to-hard/cliche/ish. "...you want to talk to me." would be so much better. The word "worth" has such a negative tone attached here. Holy freaking crap I didn't expect this much detail, but thanks a lot!
zengirl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Holy freaking crap I didn't expect this much detail, but thanks a lot! You're welcome. Sorry if I inundated you. Man, I wish there was a company I could work for that helped people edit these things. I've helped loads of friends re-write them. It's fun. My favorite part of my writing workshops in college was always helping others make their own stories better.
lab_brat Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I looked at the OkCupid one and personally think you look lovely - sorry, i realise this isn't particularly helpful for feedback - but i loved the humour and enthusiasm, cute photos - if i was 5 years younger and lived in the same state i'd jump you in a second Perhaps it is just your age, i don't know how many nice, decent, normal women that age would be into online dating? Stick it out, try to meet people in real life too and keep an open mind, there is someone out there that's decent and lovely and will absolutely adore you.
WalkInThePark Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 (edited) I think it is a great profile: original and profound, pure, straight from the heart. Just one warning: you talk a lot about you, what you want and your dreams. Don't forget that if you want a relationship, it is also about HER. She will also have dreams, things she likes and dislikes and you can only have a relationship if you are willing to also participate in what makes her happy. It is unrealistic to expect someone to just go along with the way you live and want to live; that would be someone who has no own personality. Maybe you need to talk more about the things you would like to do with your girlfriend if you were in a relationship. Personally I would go for a neater haircut and get rid of that attempt of a beard, and dress a bit neater. I know you are only 22 so that is the perfect age to have a grunch look. But the same jeans with a shirt and a jacket would look a lot better and it would still be casual. I can't speak for all women but a guy who dresses well is a turn-on. If I would be a girl your age, I would definitely be interested in your profile. But I am old enough to be your mother, albeit a young one and I am in Europe. One last remark: don't expect too much from internet dating. Do things in real life where you can meet girls in a relaxed atmosphere, as friends. Try to be the best person you can be and make sure that you can and want to offer something to a girl. Edited July 25, 2010 by WalkInThePark
sagetalk Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Holy freaking crap I didn't expect this much detail, but thanks a lot! You could do everything she said and maybe get a few more messages. Or you could just get ripped in the gym, take a pic with your shirt off, and in your profile just say "Hello :)". On PoF the shirt off thing is going to do much better. Guys with more to offer (intelligence, reliability, uniqueness) do better in real life not online dating. If you are an athletic guy and like to travel the world, you will stick out well in online dating. If not, you'll often get labeled as ordinary. There are way too many guys on PoF, and a lot of them are jock/athletic types. It's hard to beat out those guys. Get in an environment where they are not, and you will shine much brighter.
zengirl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 (edited) I'm not saying your suggestion is a terrible one, or even that my edits will necessarily work (some of it is age and geography; I really don't know what 22 year olds in San Diego like). Guys with more to offer (intelligence, reliability, uniqueness) do better in real life not online dating. I think this is a big myth. I always look for those qualities --- and I don't like gym rats (though yeah, looks matter) --- and I've met 2 of my boyfriends (1 short term through OKCupid in Asia, 1 long term back home, through Match, though he did recognize me from growing up in the same town but we'd never actually "met") though online dating sites. I've been on dates with dozens of others. I've met guys in other places, too. But I like online dating because I can more easily surmise things like intelligence, wit, and quirkiness through the quality of their writing and the way they describe themselves. (I also find excellent grammar and proper spelling sexy, bonus points if they spell things in the English way because that's just a way I'm damn quirky. Of course, the fellow also has to be someone who interests me looks-wise. Yeah, yeah, life isn't fair.) I think the nerdier you are, the more OKCupid works for you, but that may just be where I've lived. All the people I know who've developed decent relationships through online dating are pretty nerdy. I know nothing about POF, but I've heard it's awful. Maybe because it's full of jock guys (which would be "meh" in my circle), as you say. ETA: Actually, I think, if online dating puts anyone at a disadvantage, it's the good talkers. The ones who just have charm to make up for what they lack in intelligence or looks. I think also "average" people who don't have some help in describing themselves don't do well -- if you have average or below average looks, cliche answers, and you're into a little bit of everything without ever naming what these things are. . . why would anyone want to talk to you? You're boring. Edited July 25, 2010 by zengirl
blueberries Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 i've never done online dating so i'm not sure how your profile compares with other men... but i asked myself what i would look for if i were looking and i've come up with this conclusion... 1. people's words online usually don't reflect who they are in real life. for example me, on an anonymous forum such as this, i'm honest because i don't know anyone here in real life so i don't censor. but on something public, people usually put their best foot forward. so for me, i just skimmed your wordy profile, and the things you write don't add much weight. 2. i head straight to your pictures. for me, and i may be superficial for saying this... but your pictures tell me more about you than your words. i think you like metallica (unless it was a hand-me down or you bought it at a sale?), and you love going to conventions (which i think is cool and fun). now for the critique. i'm not sure the type of women you're looking for...but personally i like shorter hair, and clean cut. unkempt hair makes me feel like you don't take care of yourself. i like a man who's well dressed (i'm not saying dress shirt and blazer every day of the week sorta guy). like his clothes fit him properly, shirts that aren't too big, pants that aren't overflowing. ok that's my 2 cents. good luck!
PhillyDude Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=17673392 http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DGreen024 Thanks in advanced! Please get rid of the line-"I like long walks on the beach" LOL.
Pfiend101 Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Zengirl could you pm me please. I tried to pm you but it wouldnt let me ;(
D-Lish Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 You could do everything she said and maybe get a few more messages. Or you could just get ripped in the gym, take a pic with your shirt off, and in your profile just say "Hello :)". On PoF the shirt off thing is going to do much better. Guys with more to offer (intelligence, reliability, uniqueness) do better in real life not online dating. If you are an athletic guy and like to travel the world, you will stick out well in online dating. If not, you'll often get labeled as ordinary. There are way too many guys on PoF, and a lot of them are jock/athletic types. It's hard to beat out those guys. Get in an environment where they are not, and you will shine much brighter. Are you serious? A shirtless picture is the most douchey move in the universe! It's second only to posting a pic of yourself with copious amonts of random bar chicks. Ugh. OP, I think you need better pictures. I am obviously a lot older than you, but I can't really tell what you look like in your pics- they are all too far away or somewhat contrived with your poses. I'd get some better pics. You need at least one good close up.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Are you serious? A shirtless picture is the most douchey move in the universe! It's second only to posting a pic of yourself with copious amonts of random bar chicks. Ugh. Hey!! I've done both of those... and I had a BMW. Ok... You are officially banned from calling anything douchey. It's starting to hurt my feelings. OP, I think you need better pictures. I am obviously a lot older than you, but I can't really tell what you look like in your pics- they are all too far away or somewhat contrived with your poses. I'd get some better pics. You need at least one good close up. I see him just fine... maybe you need reading glasses?
D-Lish Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Are you serious? A shirtless picture is the most douchey move in the universe! It's second only to posting a pic of yourself with copious amonts of random bar chicks. Ugh. Hey!! I've done both of those... and I had a BMW. Ok... You are officially banned from calling anything douchey. It's starting to hurt my feelings. I see him just fine... maybe you need reading glasses? Sorry UF:D Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule:rolleyes: I have been accused of needing reading glasses- I am 40 now! He has a lot of pics up, but it's still hard to see him.
shadowplay Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 I'm female, 26. Kudos on having the guts to post your profile on here to be critiqued. In order of importance: 1. Cut your hair! It makes you look unnecessarily sloppy. 2. Take pictures in which you're wearing less schleppy clothes. 3. I'd take out the convention pictures, unless you're limiting your target audience to dorky women. 4. Posture, posture, posture. You're slouching, especially in the second picture. This makes you look unconfident. 5. The last picture is random and doesn't really add anything. I'd get rid of it.
Pfiend101 Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 OK here is mine Critique it please. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LusciousLuke3
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 I'm female, 26. Kudos on having the guts to post your profile on here to be critiqued. In order of importance: 1. Cut your hair! It makes you look unnecessarily sloppy. 2. Take pictures in which you're wearing less schleppy clothes. 3. I'd take out the convention pictures, unless you're limiting your target audience to dorky women. 4. Posture, posture, posture. You're slouching, especially in the second picture. This makes you look unconfident. 5. The last picture is random and doesn't really add anything. I'd get rid of it. 4 shallow comments and 1 trivial suggestion. No offence but... I'd like to point out that there is a clear reason you struggle with men.
shadowplay Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 OK here is mine Critique it please. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LusciousLuke3 Pictures: Good with a few minor areas for improvement. 1. I'd chuck the last picture because of the ridiculous sideways hat. Not a good look unless you're under the age of 16. I think you should retake that photo without the hat. Everything else about it is great. Love your smile! 2. I'd replace the "my sexy self :)" caption with something else. I know you probably meant it tongue in cheek, but it still sounds a bit lame. Words: 1. My name is Luke? Weak opener. You don't have to tell people your name. Also, your name is already obvious from your username. 2. Why do people need to know where you were born? 3. Tell us more about you. The dirt bike thing is good, but I want to know some of your other interests and unique qualities. 4. "I've made mistakes but that's what makes me human. No one is perfect." Ax this line. It's so cliche and also focuses on the negative. You sound preemptively defensive, as if you're harboring a lot of regrets. 5. I'm really good at... "just about everything I do." Delete. Way too arrogant.
bac Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 How many girls of your age are out there to reply to you? It is not clear who you are looking for, but, perhaps I missed it. It is not clear if you are attractive. It could be better if your pictures were clear and direct about your appearance. The best picture is your face picture where you look directly without sunglasses, so, a girl can figure out right away by looking at your eyes if she has chemistry with you and if you are attractive for her. The same about picture of your body. Also, if I had my profile online, I would not mention my income unless I was a man older than 45 with income more than 70K.
shadowplay Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 4 shallow comments and 1 trivial suggestion. No offence but... I'd like to point out that there is a clear reason you struggle with men. You're right: let's pretend the online dating world's not shallow.
D-Lish Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 You're right: let's pretend the online dating world's not shallow. No one wants to admit it, but pictures are paramount to this discussion. I look at pics first, then decide if I want to read a profile. Shirtless pics, and pics with other women will deter me from even reading a profile.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 You're right: let's pretend the online dating world's not shallow. It's only as shallow as you make it. I'm not saying go after guys your not attracted to... that's a bad idea. I'm saying don't put all your focus there. See there are hundreds of guys you probably skip because you erroneously think you won't be attracted to them in person based off a photo. I've seen women with terrible photos who looked great in person. No one wants to admit it, but pictures are paramount to this discussion. I look at pics first, then decide if I want to read a profile. Shirtless pics, and pics with other women will deter me from even reading a profile. I always read the profile first to get a sense of a person then look at the photos.
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