Blade Runner Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 See there are hundreds of guys you probably skip because you erroneously think you won't be attracted to them in person based off a photo.[/Quote] This. Sadly this is why online dating is often not that great. It is excellent for some people. But what a huge difference motion can make to the equation. An average looking person can easily fly by the online dating thing without any replies or interest, because it's just like a bar -- people are often looking for whatever strikes them as best initially. I'd never try approaching anyone off an online dating site because I know I could easily fall into this trap too. How people act and move around in motion can make a huge difference to the way you percieve appearance. More on topic, I agree with the others about the photos, keep some of them for sure, but I'd have at least one that's just a medium close up of you. Photos of you with a blurred out face or sun flare etc is just pointless. Photos of you doing things and being active etc are good but you have to have a "headshot".
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 Zengirl could you pm me please. I tried to pm you but it wouldnt let me ;( You beat me to this exact post. Go figure
BobSacamento Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Dude, lose the AIG shirt...unless it's supposed to be a joke then it's kind of funny.
ReadyforLove Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 I didn't look at the POF, just the OKC...It's hard to see what you really look like in your pics. I say take a few snapshots with your face in full view (no hair in your eyes, no sun glare in front of your face etc.) And..um..I would remove the income from your OKC profile. Just sayin...
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 Dude, lose the AIG shirt...unless it's supposed to be a joke then it's kind of funny. D00d, it's a Manchester United jersey.
BobSacamento Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 D00d, it's a Manchester United jersey. Don't make it worse...
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 Thanks for the comments folks. I expected many of the comments to be subjected and based on what only they are looking for in a man (meh, different stroke for different folks). I'm very anti-photogenic, so I take very few pictures, thus the lack of photos that may appeal to women. I also tried the clean shaven look, and just in my own opinion, I don't think I look very good; though I really like the goatee look. Also, since when those pictures were taken, I did in fact hack off much of the hair, but I plan on growing it back out.
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 Don't make it worse... Oh gawd......
zengirl Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Zengirl could you pm me please. I tried to pm you but it wouldnt let me ;( I've no idea why, but it appears it doesn't let me PM. Perhaps my account isn't old enough, or maybe because I changed my email addy just a couple days ago?
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 You could do everything she said and maybe get a few more messages. Or you could just get ripped in the gym, take a pic with your shirt off, and in your profile just say "Hello :)". On PoF the shirt off thing is going to do much better. Guys with more to offer (intelligence, reliability, uniqueness) do better in real life not online dating. If you are an athletic guy and like to travel the world, you will stick out well in online dating. If not, you'll often get labeled as ordinary. There are way too many guys on PoF, and a lot of them are jock/athletic types. It's hard to beat out those guys. Get in an environment where they are not, and you will shine much brighter. I have noticed more and more of the guys on OKCupid as of late that are ripped, showing off their bikes/import cars and other women they hang out with. Ultimately that is what attracts a good majority of women, so be it.
dispatch3d Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 I'm female, 26. Kudos on having the guts to post your profile on here to be critiqued. In order of importance: 1. Cut your hair! It makes you look unnecessarily sloppy. 2. Take pictures in which you're wearing less schleppy clothes. 3. I'd take out the convention pictures, unless you're limiting your target audience to dorky women. 4. Posture, posture, posture. You're slouching, especially in the second picture. This makes you look unconfident. 5. The last picture is random and doesn't really add anything. I'd get rid of it. I pretty much agree with this and the other huge post. I actually pegged your clothes wrong and thought.... man is anyone else going to think this? At any rate. Get a shirt that fits, stop wearing baggy pants. You can play the cool-nerd or metro-nerd look. Just make sure the clothes FIT and get some ORIGINAL clothes. Band shirts aren't terrible - although if you're going to go metallica there's an entire outfit to go with it. Pick up a GQ magazine. You can tryout sites like http://www.threadless.com that offer cheap ORIGINAL one-off shirts that you will get a ton of compliments on. That's what I do right now but if I had money (sounds like you do) I would DEFINITELY go the GQ route and get a more defined look. Expensive pants are important, try to cheap out on the shirts. Nice pants cost +$150 and are raw denim. Don't get something else. You can just buy one/two of these and wear your old ****ty jeans to makeup for the difference. $100 jeans and less LOOK A LOT WORSE. Don't fool yourself. Picture one and three are good. Hiking is alright but this photo sucks (posture is pretty bad and wtf you taking hikes on your own or something?). You need some pictures of yourself doing stuff with friends that isn't that comic thing. What immediately comes to mind is halloween **** since you really should have some kickass costumes. If a joke is soso funny don't tell it. I'm pretty sure I tell too many jokes and that's even KNOWING I make people laugh/they are funny. You don't have to be funny to get girls. Stop making bad jokes it comes off try-hard. Girls are going to hate the walks on the beach thing and you posing as this all romantic guy. Sorry you can't directly state you are romantic - you have to show it in some other much more indirect way. "My favourite times have always been those blablabla". If you really want to add something. Write it first draft really scaled back then scale it back 2 more notches. Honestly even this may be too much. The writing stuff is great. Talking about your ambitions is by far the best thing you've done so far. If anything I would be slightly more ambigious in this stuff to spark some curiosity, and talk more about the emotions/etc. of the whole writing process. By far your strongest stuff though. IT is kinda dorky. "Building and destroying computers" is decent. I like this way of describing it. I think if you can get a little more creative with the job stuff (eeasssy on the jokes) in this kind of light it'll be good. Try to parallel the writing ****. Play up your artistic side. The pictures I liked were the artistic kind. And I'm a dude fwiw. So don't get too queer on me. Have fun big boy ;-)
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 I've no idea why, but it appears it doesn't let me PM. Perhaps my account isn't old enough, or maybe because I changed my email addy just a couple days ago? It appears that established members are only allowed to send PMs to other established members. Then again, you have over 3x the amount of posts I have. Do you have AIM or some sort of instant messenger?
that girl Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Like pretty much everyone has said, you need new photos. I think you can keep the arty rock one and maybe one of the convention ones, but get rid of the rest. You need at least one photo that clearly shows your face with your eyes open in decent lighting. Get someone to take a bunch of photos of you.
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 I pretty much agree with this and the other huge post. I actually pegged your clothes wrong and thought.... man is anyone else going to think this? Nice pants cost +$150 and are raw denim. Don't get something else. You can just buy one/two of these and wear your old ****ty jeans to makeup for the difference. $100 jeans and less LOOK A LOT WORSE. Don't fool yourself. And I'm a dude fwiw. So don't get too queer on me. Please take no offense here, but I would NEVER pay no more than $30 for a pair of jeans. And the GQ route...seriously?
dispatch3d Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 and by GQ look I mean pick a style you see in that magazine and attempt to copy it as closely as possible. It seems like a hardrocker style may be best? Not sure, keep in mind the sort of stuff you wear is going to somewhat influence the kind of girls you attract.
zengirl Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Thanks for the comments folks. I expected many of the comments to be subjected and based on what only they are looking for in a man (meh, different stroke for different folks). I'm very anti-photogenic, thus the lack of photos that may appeal to women. I also tried the clean shaven look, and just in my own opinion, I don't think I look very good; though I really like the goatee look. Also, since when those pictures were taken, I did in fact hack off much of the hair, but I plan on growing it back out. I think if you hacked off your facial hair, there should be at least one picture showing what you actually look like. If I cut my hair or dye it or change it substantially, I always put up a new picture in a fairly timely fashion. (I'm not saying they all need to come down; just show the other look too.) I think all the comments about your pictures are fairly true. . . the convention pictures are only going to attract nerdy girls (hence why I suggested not leading with them), but you seem like kind of a nerd. So, I figured you'd want nerdy girls. It certainly wouldn't hurt to put in one with a more cleaned up look . . . but I don't know what you have. And I don't think it's ever worthwhile to put up a picture of you looking how you wouldn't normally look (unless there's some clear context: Like, "here's me cleaned up at a wedding") unless you're going to keep up the facade all whilst dating someone. But that's just me. My dating profile is almost unflinchingly honest in terms of the pictures --- there's even a photo of me with no make-up. Really depends on how badly you want to be contacted vs. how many bad first dates you want.
dispatch3d Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Please take no offense here, but I would NEVER pay no more than $30 for a pair of jeans. And the GQ route...seriously? IT SHOWS I get comments/compliments from girls all the time. They also say **** like "You probably own a lot of clothes", etc. Basically subtexting I'm into fashion/where did you get that shirt/etc. Until you are getting consistent comments on some particular clothing item being cool assume you need to improve.
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 What do you folks think of this? http://k0.cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/153x51/714x612/0/1718042105980658040.jpeg
dispatch3d Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 I think if you hacked off your facial hair, there should be at least one picture showing what you actually look like. If I cut my hair or dye it or change it substantially, I always put up a new picture in a fairly timely fashion. (I'm not saying they all need to come down; just show the other look too.) I think all the comments about your pictures are fairly true. . . the convention pictures are only going to attract nerdy girls (hence why I suggested not leading with them), but you seem like kind of a nerd. So, I figured you'd want nerdy girls. It certainly wouldn't hurt to put in one with a more cleaned up look . . . but I don't know what you have. And I don't think it's ever worthwhile to put up a picture of you looking how you wouldn't normally look (unless there's some clear context: Like, "here's me cleaned up at a wedding") unless you're going to keep up the facade all whilst dating someone. But that's just me. My dating profile is almost unflinchingly honest in terms of the pictures --- there's even a photo of me with no make-up. Really depends on how badly you want to be contacted vs. how many bad first dates you want. I think he could go more hard-assed if he went bad-ass. Not sure who to look up exactly, but heavy metal is what I'm thinking. My old roomate had a decent look in that genre, and he went with metal-studded belts, long hair, metal necklaces, lip rings, darker clothing, metal bands, I'd probably put something over top not sure what. Usually wear some kinda hat (live in Canada kinda cold). Dunno. Obviously not the guy you are into, but he's better off going for something in particular that this mismash of bad fitting jeans and baggy metallica shirts. he can probably google someone whose look he likes and start to piece together stuff that goes with it.
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 Just a FYI, I trashed all of the Comic Con pictures.
shadowplay Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 A few nicely done tattoos would make you more desirable to a lot of women. You need more edge.
dispatch3d Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 yeah shorter hair looks better...basically what I figured for your current clothes... Change your profile again and we'll see if there are anymore suggestions. Don't really have anything else clothes wise to add and I feel very gay talking about it. missed tattoo's, but yeah that's a clear one for the badass....
shadowplay Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 What do you folks think of this? http://k0.cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/153x51/714x612/0/1718042105980658040.jpeg I think you need to retake your photos once you've gotten a decent hair cut and shaved your face. It's frustrating that I know this would help you a lot, but you probably won't follow my advice.
Author Raderick Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 A few nicely done tattoos would make you more desirable to a lot of women. You need more edge. I don't like tattoos. Personal preference.
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