Ex girlfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, and texts me this...

[Thorgs]

Kids aren't very nice, but it's because they are still trying understand emotions and get a sense of life. I wouldn't take the kid's attitude towards you so hard. They don't what they're doing.

 

If it's not too painful, I'd let her sit and eat with you if she wants. You need to be the more mature person here.

 

Yeah that's what I was leaning towards, thanks AC.

[Thorgs]

On to day 7 of NC. This is so ****ing hard. I feel like I'm going crazy, like I'm fighting with my heart to let go of these feelings. On top of it, I'm 90% sure I saw her in some man's car yesterday. That pissed me off so much and at the same time made me realize how heartless she is.

[cookiecrumbles]

ok i read this thread and well its frustrates me sooooo bad!!

 

Not your fault though, because you cant help it.

But you ask anyone on these forums who have been through what your going through, What their biggest regret or what they wish they had done from the beginning?

I would put a million dollars most of the answers will be

I wish i went NC

Hell i wish i did, my ex is just like yours, its about power! She isnt getting back with you, she doesnt care about your feelings (look at how much your hurting), she just wants to keep you around! she is textbook, selfish ex!

 

And your text book too.

Afraid if you dont text back you might risk her not giving you a second chance. Well let me tell you, texting her back is making it worse. She doesnt see the strong, great guy she used to be with, she sees this pining, weak and vulnerable guy and she can do anything with you because she knows you will always come back to her.

 

I hope you listen to what people are saying, because in few years time i bet you, you will wish you did it.

 

I always liked the saying

 

If you love them

set them free

if they love you, they will come back

and its meant to be

Edited July 14, 2010 by cookiecrumbles

[Thorgs]

Well, I'm on day 7 of NC and it's really hard. I don't think she has any feelings for me anyways because she hasn't tried contacting me at all.

 

Blah. I hate this.

[usagi]

Buddy I've just passed 2 months NC and received a text from her despite my previous communication specifically asking her not to contact me. General gist of it was that she hates us not talking, and that she thinks of me and cares for me a lot.

 

It wasn't exactly a 'I've made a huge mistake and you're the best thing that ever happened to me' it was more of a 'please make me feel better about the fact that I broke up the relationship and please don't hate me' text. This is more than likely the type of communication she will make with you when she does.

 

Classic cake and eat it scenario. You have to realise that she may have ended the relationship but she didn't take away your ability to govern your life and your feelings. You just have to tough it out.

 

On a side note, I've browsed around and 2 months seems to be a fairly common 'contact window' from ex's who've been treated to NC. Tough it out LS'ers

[Thorgs]

Thanks man. Did you just ignore the text?

 

The part that I don't get is, when the dumper has already released all the emotions before the break up (which is why they have it so much easier) that they still try contacting the ones they dump afterward to see if they can get them to "hang on" until they find someone else.

 

Psychology...something I may never understand!

[Thorgs]

BTW, sorry I keep bumping this thread to the top...I just have no one else to talk to. LS is my rock right now.

[lunita]

Honestly a week may seem like forever but it's not that long. Since you have reached the 1 week mark, take it 1 week at a time instead of 1 day at a time now.

 

She can't miss you if you're available to her. And if she doesn't, do you really want to be with someone who can't be bothered?

[Thorgs]

Honestly a week may seem like forever but it's not that long. Since you have reached the 1 week mark, take it 1 week at a time instead of 1 day at a time now.

 

She can't miss you if you're available to her. And if she doesn't, do you really want to be with someone who can't be bothered?

 

Nope, I just don't how people can be so heartless, ya know? I did so much for her and her girls. oh well, live and learn.

[lunita]

Believe me I totally understand. In the end, people like that think they are making the right decision at the time, and sometimes months later or even years, they regret it.

 

I remember ending a 6 year relationship with my boyfriend and doing it over the PHONE. I wasn't very nice about it and completely cut him off. Years later I missed him and felt like an ass about what I did. It was wrong and heartless. By the time I reached out to him he was engaged to be married. Too late. We all do stupid stuff because sometimes we just don't know how to handle things. She's probably confused as hell and only "thinks" she knows what she wants.

 

Stay strong and stay true to yourself. If she comes around she comes around and it was meant to be. But for now you have to let go.

 

Hugs.

[usagi]

Thanks man. Did you just ignore the text?

 

The part that I don't get is, when the dumper has already released all the emotions before the break up (which is why they have it so much easier) that they still try contacting the ones they dump afterward to see if they can get them to "hang on" until they find someone else.

 

Psychology...something I may never understand!

 

Believe me I totally understand. In the end, people like that think they are making the right decision at the time, and sometimes months later or even years, they regret it.

 

I remember ending a 6 year relationship with my boyfriend and doing it over the PHONE. I wasn't very nice about it and completely cut him off. Years later I missed him and felt like an ass about what I did. It was wrong and heartless. By the time I reached out to him he was engaged to be married. Too late. We all do stupid stuff because sometimes we just don't know how to handle things. She's probably confused as hell and only "thinks" she knows what she wants.

 

Stay strong and stay true to yourself. If she comes around she comes around and it was meant to be. But for now you have to let go.

 

Hugs.

 

Actually, as said here (above) I don't really think they have it that easy. I know my ex cared for me but I, like you, also know that I was a good guy and that essentially it's her loss. I know this sounds egotistical but the reality is they make a decision, we have to deal with it.

 

I'm freelance with my work and had to endure 21 days immediately after my last contact with no work and no human company while my ex lives just half a mile away from me. It's not easy but...like I say you have to just endure.

[usagi]

* yes I do ignore the text messages and delete them immediately. I have also deleted her number, all of her texts from my iPhone and all of my contacts for her. This means that I can't get in touch with her in my weaker moments even if I want to...of course I could walk around to her house but that'd be darn right weird.

[Thorgs]

I'm freelance with my work and had to endure 21 days immediately after my last contact with no work and no human company while my ex lives just half a mile away from me. It's not easy but...like I say you have to just endure.

 

Yeah, the only human contact I have is 4 hours a day at work and the kids are starting to pick up on me bummin' hard. So today I faked being my normal upbeat funny self and it helped a little bit, but I didn't want the day to end because I come home to an empty house with nothing to do. It sucks, I moved to my current location 3 years ago and the friends I made here turned out to be some of the shadiest people I've ever met. So I dropped them like bad habits. No human contact sucks and I think enhances the difficult times we are going through.

[Thorgs]

goddamn this is ****ing hard.

[linwood]

Hey! Sorry I couldn't answer but I had two hookers all over me and the game on and cake everywhere from my friends celebrating one less bitch in my life -- but thanks for the courtesy call."

 

Normally I wouldn`t recommend breaking NC but this could be an exception.

 

[Binster]

Dont do it mate, stay N/C.

[Thorgs]

Still NC, I don't think she will ever contact me again anyways, so I am just trying to move on. If she does try contacting me again I'll post here so I don't make any irrational decisions.

 

10 days in counting.

[Thorgs]

15 days NC and this is hard as hell.

 

I want to contact her so badly. I wrote her a letter and want to send it to her, but didn't send it. I just put it in my closet. I hurting badly right now.

[Jilly Bean]

Aw.... *hugs*

 

Maybe go for a walk around the block to clear your head a bit? Call a friend or family member?

 

I'm with you on the isolation. But, try to make your alone time productive. Do something you love - cook, paint, work on your car, write, play music... keep yourself distracted as best you can.

[rager]

Good stuff mate, hang in there. I'm on day 29 now and its really hardcore. So tempted, but I keep finding something to do when I have the thoughts of speaking with her again. Something keeps telling me that I'm just not ready.

 

Draw strength from each time you have the urge but don't contact her.

[Thorgs]

Aw.... *hugs*

 

Maybe go for a walk around the block to clear your head a bit? Call a friend or family member?

Thanks J.Bean. I don't have any friends and my family doesn't really talk to me. I just went for a short drive.

[Thorgs]

Good stuff mate, hang in there. I'm on day 29 now and its really hardcore. So tempted, but I keep finding something to do when I have the thoughts of speaking with her again. Something keeps telling me that I'm just not ready.

 

Draw strength from each time you have the urge but don't contact her.

It sure doesn't feel good rager. I don't think she'll ever attempt to contact me and I feel like I'm already in her back burners, which makes it so hard. I don't get how can someone just give up on someone that meant so much to them and was there for them through their toughest struggles.

[Binster]

I know it might not seem it but the best thing for you is if she doesn't contact you. Stay N/C and try to stay off face book. Good luck mate.

[Thorgs]

Why???! Her youngest daughter just text me, "hey...i just wanted to say hey and make sure you're ok..."

 

I hate this.

[BellaBellaBella]

That sucks! How are you doing today? Come down and visit us!