janie423 Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 I'm sticking with, "I dump alot of guys because I have no idea what I want". Those kind of girls are some of the most likely to date a loser that cheats on them. but only after she dumps a lot of guys will she know what she wants . . . so I guess there is some truth to what you say . . . but a financially dependent woman will stay with the loser a lot longer . . . Link to post Share on other sites
legallyblonde289 Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 4. Self proclaimed "independent" feminist: "I'm independent, I don't need a man". These girls seem like they have it together and it sounds like it would be a good thing to be independent and not needing a man. BUT what they really mean is, "I dump alot of guys because I have no idea what I want". You've been warned. It's much better to find girls with the mentality, "I'm a women, who wants a man". i disagree with this. i consider myself an independent career woman (altho not really a feminist) i dont NEED a man to take care of me because i can take care of myself but i WANT a man if he's the right one. the two are not mutually exclusive. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 10) Massage therapists 11) Emotional cripples - usually from damaged childhoods. Ever-elusive. No clearly defined emotional center. They 'think' relationships instead of 'feel' them. Usually attractive at the more superficial levels. Link to post Share on other sites
samspade Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Any woman who thinks sweat pants and/or flip flops are acceptable apparel in public (besides the gym or beach). I'd put Attention Whore on here too, but in the USA, show me one who's not. Bottom line is I have no problem banging American girls with red flags, but if I ever get married? Definitely looking for someone with less of an entitlement mentality. Link to post Share on other sites
SilentVoice Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 1 They 'think' relationships instead of 'feel' them. . Can you explain this please? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 I actually have some advice for the fellas I offer you The Alcohol Fuel Banshee! She is fun at first and you're think you might get laid. Till she forgets which guy she is at the bar or party with and starts hanging on some other guy or gets you in a fight. Best case scenario is you get her back to your place and she pukes in your bed before passing out cold. Wakes in the morning with "what happened? did you eff me while I was passed out?! that's rape you know...." And The Primadonna! She is hot sure, but you had to wait at her place for an hour while she finished getting ready. She nitpicks your style of dress and don't even think about touching her hair. Its slightly sprinkling? You will need to drop her at the door before parking. No leisurely stroll cuz these boots are NOT made for walking. Will you hold my purse? And sex? Only her on top practically sitting still because ladies don't sweat and she doesn't want you sweating ON her. The Straight-Curious! You've always had a lezi fantasy but lets face it - one gay girl and you does not a lesbian fantasy make. Feels a whole lot like the regular thing and she want to put it in your butt. No she doesn't want to suck on THAT! She's not even sure she wants it in the same room as her. Hairy legs and pits? You're just going to have to deal with it because this is HER experiment - not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
janie423 Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 11) Emotional cripples - usually from damaged childhoods. Ever-elusive. No clearly defined emotional center. They 'think' relationships instead of 'feel' them. Usually attractive at the more superficial levels. please explain this . . . I might learn something here! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 (edited) Can you explain this please? Example (from my marriage): 'I'm sorry for the issues you're having with your mother. I need help with the grocery shopping'. Add in a deadpan tone, like a reciting of the weather conditions, and you have a general overview. As a layperson, I can't explain it in psychological terms, but our psychologist gave me the simplified understanding I have. Essentially, it's functioning in an intimate relationship with emotional detachment. I wish I knew a better way to explain it. Empathy and caring (other than superficial expressions) are absent. Going through the process of MC helped me identify similar personalities in my past whom I was attracted to. The fault was mine, being attracted to incompatible personalities. I chose. Hence why I included in my list of women to avoid, and will do so in the future. YMMV. I offer you The Alcohol Fuel Banshee! Thanks. Forgot that one..... both the married ladies who have pursued me did so as a result of this. It's like a jekyl and hyde personality. Perhaps they're medicating for a mental problem, IDK. Thankfully, both are getting help and the issues have subsided. It's tough keeping healthy boundaries while divorcing with that kind of stuff coming at one. Thanks for the reminder. I'll add it to the list. Edited May 21, 2010 by carhill Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 The woman who kisses her french poodle is bad. The woman with fricken wild kingdom going on inside her house is much worse. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Thanks. Forgot that one..... both the married ladies who have pursued me did so as a result of this. It's like a jekyl and hyde personality. Perhaps they're medicating for a mental problem, IDK. Thankfully, both are getting help and the issues have subsided. It's tough keeping healthy boundaries while divorcing with that kind of stuff coming at one. Thanks for the reminder. I'll add it to the list. One of my guy friends told me about his run in with one. She does get back to his place and puked on the stairs before passing out in his bed. At 5am, he wakes to her straddling him and putting his unwrapped rascal in her. The she moans about her head hurting and needing some water before falling off him and the bed, on to the floor passed out again. He is freaked out! But he puts a blanket over her and takes a shower. She wakes up and starts freaking out because she is nude from the waist down. Asks if he took advantage of HER before pointing out "You know Cosmo calls that rape! I wasn't in the right frame of mind to choose to have sex with you! I was DRUNK!" He says to me, "so I was raped, but she was drunk and that makes ME the bad guy?" I don't get it either dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Mimolicious Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 I guess the world is flat to some... Apparently and according to this thread, men should avoid ALL WOMEN. Odds are that every women will have one or many of the "flaws" listed here and much more that are missing. On the single mother topic- If a women is capable of managing what was intended to be done by 2 "parents" alone with grace, she is a double blessing. Maybe, she was a bit of an idiot to actually believe the man she went half on a baby with??! So now she becomes undatable by your standards? Nice. I am a single parent, a daughter, sister, friend, career woman, attractive, and self-sustained. If a man doesn't find me "dateable", then maybe you're not so much of a man... go find some puppet to have on your strings or beat Steve Jobs at submitting a patent for an iChick. Bag of skittles... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Asks if he took advantage of HER before pointing out "You know Cosmo calls that rape! I wasn't in the right frame of mind to choose to have sex with you! I was DRUNK!" The commonality in both of my related instances (no intercourse involved, thank heavens) is the duality of personality. The one most recent (in the past few weeks) even shared with me, upon my mentioning this to her, that she 'felt' it, meaning the differences. She said she feels like two people. Both ladies got married quite young and are long-time (20+ years) marrieds. I love them to death as friends but those psychologies are just unhealthy for me. I hope it works out for them and their marriages What you related sounds like alcohol poisoning. Alcohol-induced psychosis. Yikes... Link to post Share on other sites
janie423 Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 I guess the world is flat to some... Apparently and according to this thread, men should avoid ALL WOMEN. Odds are that every women will have one or many of the "flaws" listed here and much more that are missing. but not only do they want women to be devoid of all behavioral flaws, they also want her to look like Heidi Klum! Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 The "I have a bunch of cats" girl: This falls in line with the animal kingdom girl, but I'm ok with dogs. Cats are a different story altogether. Dogs seek love and affection from their owner. Cats mostly tell you to buzz off and do what I say. Any girl that wants to be surrounded by a large number of these creatures is a no in my book. Link to post Share on other sites
Engadget Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 The "I have a bunch of cats" girl: This falls in line with the animal kingdom girl, but I'm ok with dogs. Cats are a different story altogether. Dogs seek love and affection from their owner. Cats mostly tell you to buzz off and do what I say. Any girl that wants to be surrounded by a large number of these creatures is a no in my book. Disagree, I have two cats and they're as loving and awesome as any dogs. They love to cuddle with each other or me, and sadly my ex has to take them soon. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 The commonality in both of my related instances (no intercourse involved, thank heavens) is the duality of personality. The one most recent (in the past few weeks) even shared with me, upon my mentioning this to her, that she 'felt' it, meaning the differences. She said she feels like two people. Both ladies got married quite young and are long-time (20+ years) marrieds. I love them to death as friends but those psychologies are just unhealthy for me. I hope it works out for them and their marriages What you related sounds like alcohol poisoning. Alcohol-induced psychosis. Yikes... The best thing about his situation is he was not sporting a morning wood when she did this. So she never really got him in her and just sorta sat there for a minute, smashing his junk on his zipper under her weight. Its a bit more scary with the male counter part to the Alcohol Fueled Banshee - The Power Drinker. But hey folks! Smokie the Bear says only you can put out forest fires! If you're always running into these problem children - you are part of the problem! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 but not only do they want women to be devoid of all behavioral flaws, they also want her to look like Heidi Klum! OK, that would be my preference Seriously, IME as a married person, it was essential emotional and communication styles which made or broke the marriage, on both sides. IOW, I wasn't compatible for stbx either. It's not one-sided. It's about synergy. Each person's 'avoidance' red flags will be different. Link to post Share on other sites
SilentVoice Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 The "I have a bunch of cats" girl: This falls in line with the animal kingdom girl, but I'm ok with dogs. Cats are a different story altogether. Dogs seek love and affection from their owner. Cats mostly tell you to buzz off and do what I say. Any girl that wants to be surrounded by a large number of these creatures is a no in my book. Ha! this guy once told me this story about is believed Siamese cat..I nearly gagged ... Cat ladys are bad but cat men are far worse -- now that is a turn off. I have one dog ... don't get me wrong I am an animal lover (and can't see them mistreated) but when you are walking around with your cat/dog in a stroller , or telling me about the new leather tote you just got Sparkle Cuddlekins the 3rd -- gag! Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 i disagree with this. i consider myself an independent career woman Most, if not all, young women these days describe themselves as independent. I'm starting to wonder if they know what the word actually means. It also means you don't need mommy and daddy either. So if I only meant independent, I'd be single forever. What I'm talking about is a girl that describes herself as, "An independent women who doesn't need a man". These women are a walking disaster for men. And yes, they are all feminists, so you don't sound like you fall in that category. Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Disagree, I have two cats and they're as loving and awesome as any dogs. They love to cuddle with each other or me, and sadly my ex has to take them soon. Two isn't a bunch and good job on finding dog-cats (that's what I call them). They are rare. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 The "I have a bunch of cats" girl: This falls in line with the animal kingdom girl, but I'm ok with dogs. Cats are a different story altogether. Dogs seek love and affection from their owner. Cats mostly tell you to buzz off and do what I say. Any girl that wants to be surrounded by a large number of these creatures is a no in my book. I think this is one of the few things you and I are going to agree on because I too am put off by The Kitty King. One cat? - fine. Two cats? - not a huge deal breaker but those things can stink up a house quick. Three or more? Gah! And if he only has one but puts it in little kitty outfits, I'm backing slowly away till I can make a dash for my car! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 If you're always running into these problem children - you are part of the problem! Absolutely true, in my case. The stories related are personal friends of many years, so I didn't 'run into them', rather the issues revealed themselves after a long time of relative health, but have been attracted to unhealthy potentials many, many times. To me, that's the benefit of such a 'list', identifying unhealthy dynamics which are unique and personal and consciously taking a different path. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Most, if not all, young women these days describe themselves as independent. I'm starting to wonder if they know what the word actually means. It also means you don't need mommy and daddy either. So if I only meant independent, I'd be single forever. What I'm talking about is a girl that describes herself as, "An independent women who doesn't need a man". These women are a walking disaster for men. And yes, they are all feminists, so you don't sound like you fall in that category. Describing yourself as independent comes from the 80s when Women's Self Defense classes and dating services started catching on. It was advised to do this because a guy looking for a victim would be less likely to have interest in a woman who described herself as independent. Now its practically standard. So now I think if a woman describes herself this way, it just means she wants an partner who won't presume to do her thinking for her or get in a twist when she experiences some measure of professional success. And who can blame them? The Archie Bunker is a headache! Link to post Share on other sites
Twenty-ten Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 What I'm talking about is a girl that describes herself as, "An independent women who doesn't need a man". These women are a walking disaster for men. And yes, they are all feminists, so you don't sound like you fall in that category. Well the reality is that a lot of women don't "need" men, and there are those that do need a guy and trust me that type of woman is no walk in the park either. Just as men don't really "need" women. We all like to have someone in our lives but reaching a point where you don't actually "need" a companion is not a bad thing, it's actually a really good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Ha! this guy once told me this story about is believed Siamese cat..I nearly gagged ... Cat ladys are bad but cat men are far worse -- now that is a turn off. I have one dog ... don't get me wrong I am an animal lover (and can't see them mistreated) but when you are walking around with your cat/dog in a stroller , or telling me about the new leather tote you just got Sparkle Cuddlekins the 3rd -- gag! One of these days when I get my financial situation in order I'm going to get myself a serval or savannah cat. I'd take if for walks on a leash just to show that cats can be cool. They're also pretty big too. Link to post Share on other sites
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