Author shadowplay Posted January 4, 2010 Author Share Posted January 4, 2010 Someone mentioned Benicio del Toro...rubbery lips, narrow eyes, craggy skin...but, sexy as hell. He just exudes it and all those things that should be faults are no longer faults but part of one sexy package...swoon In any case, I've found that the women men find attractive and the women that women find attractive are often two very different things. Sorry, but I too think Penelope Cruz can look stunning at times and rat-faced at others. I think Rene Zellweger looks pretty and attractive when moving, i.e. in a motion picture, but somehow she's just not photogenic in still photos. I think Madonna is an attractive woman, but not a 'beauty' and I think one of the reasons why I think that is that she looks like a complete b**ch and someone I'd not like to spend one minute of my time with in reality. I think men's take on women's sexiness is their face and shaggableness, I think women maybe factor in other elements. There's been numerous studies on how women can spot fake smiles in photos, or the true emotion of the person in the photo, whereas men cannot, so that might be the difference in opinion as to which woman is ugly/sexy, we are just wired differently in a visual way. I'm going to partially disagree with this. I think part of the difference is that women don't factor sex appeal into the equation. They just objectively pick apart a woman's appearance. A woman will notice the flaws in another woman's face, while a guy will just look at the overall picture. Look at how harsh women are on someone like Jennifer Aniston because her face is imperfect, while most guys would happily shag her (since she's hot overall: good enough face + well groomed + nice hair + hot body). Women also focus more on faces than bodies. They're less forgiving of imperfect faces than men are, and more forgiving of imperfect bodies. By the same token, a woman can have an objectively very attractive face but little appeal to men because she doesn't exude sexiness. In this case, most of her admirers will be women. Gwyneth Paltrow is a good example. She has a very pretty face, but seems like a cold fish and her body isn't especially curvy. Another type women appreciate more than men are women with warm, pleasing faces that may not be conventionally beautiful (here's where I agree with you). I'd argue that Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchett fall into this category. They're both very attractive, but neither has a conventionally sexy face or body as movie stars go. Hence most of their fans are women. Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 I'm going to partially disagree with this. I think part of the difference is that women don't factor sex appeal into the equation. They just objectively pick apart a woman's appearance. A woman will notice the flaws in another woman's face, while a guy will just look at the overall picture. Look at how harsh women are on someone like Jennifer Aniston because her face is imperfect, while most guys would happily shag her (since she's hot overall: good enough face + well groomed + nice hair + hot body). Women also focus more on faces than bodies. They're less forgiving of imperfect faces than men are, and more forgiving of imperfect bodies. By the same token, a woman can have an objectively very attractive face but little appeal to men because she doesn't exude sexiness. In this case, most of her admirers will be women. Gwyneth Paltrow is a good example. She has a very pretty face, but seems like a cold fish and her body isn't especially curvy. Another type women appreciate more than men are women with warm, pleasing faces that may not be conventionally beautiful (here's where I agree with you). I'd argue that Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchett fall into this category. They're both very attractive, but neither has a conventionally sexy face or body as movie stars go. Hence most of their fans are women. Yeah I think you've hit the nail on the head there. It is the sexiness factor, hence maybe why I wonder sometimes about my gorgeous single friends and why they are single...but maybe it's just me who sees them as gorgeous, but they lack the sexy, overall package that you mentioned. Link to post Share on other sites
b52s Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Who are some celebrities you find attractive simply because of their personalities, talent, intelligence even if they don't qualify as physically attractive? I'll start: 1) Thom Yorke. Yeah he looks like an embryo, but I'd totally date him because of his insane talent. He also seems like a good person. And British accents are hot. 2) Neil Young. The way he shreds on the guitar is orgasmic. And he also seems like a really good person. Kathy Bates Link to post Share on other sites
cognac Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Someone mentioned Benicio del Toro...rubbery lips, narrow eyes, craggy skin...but, sexy as hell. He just exudes it and all those things that should be faults are no longer faults but part of one sexy package...swoon LOL, are you serious? Benicio Del Toro= Brad Pitt with dark hair. Look at pictures of the two and you'll see what I'm talking about. Do I have to find Ms. Cruz to be the hottest thing to walk the Earth? I am put off by certain features she and others have when not made up perfectly and making certain facial expressions, but I am able to see that they can be quite sexy as well sometimes. I am able to see that the characters they play in movies are not how they look all day everyday. I also don't dig blondes so Ms. Zellwegger and I just won't be dating. I'm sure she is fine with it. Way more fine with it than some of the posters in this thread seem to be and that is becoming sort of sad and creepy.....Put down the Cruz and Zellwegger fanzines; the relationship you pretend to have with them while you mastubate is not real. [/Quote] If Penelope Cruz or Zellwegger disappeared tomorrow, I wouldn't even know the difference. However, using ugly (even if in the silly "ugly sexy"(wtf does that even mean) context) in the same sentence as their names is just silly. What do you call people who are actually ugly? Or do they not exist , because they are invisible to you ? Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 NO he is NOT Brad Pitt with dark hair...so there!!! Waaah!! I think Brad Pitt looks like some kind of criminal to be honest, specifically the type who would knife you in a dark alley and steal your wallet. Some people are ugly, or unattractive or whatever you want to call it...but the joy of it is, to others that 'ugliness' can be seen as sexy when wrapped up in the whole package of how they speak, hold themselves etc. This is why IMO dating sites are a dreadful source for dating on the whole, as you have some still photos to judge and some text to go with it and unless you take some chances don't ever get to find out that that girl with the goofy looking smile is actually kind of sexy with it in person and so on. I can't count the amount of times that I've met some guy in person, who I initially thought 'not my type' but then he opens his mouth and has a cheeky sense of humour or whatever and suddenly the looks that at first were not attractive, become attractive. That is what is magical about the sexy ugly paradox. Link to post Share on other sites
cognac Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 NO he is NOT Brad Pitt with dark hair...so there!!! Waaah!! I think Brad Pitt looks like some kind of criminal to be honest, specifically the type who would knife you in a dark alley and steal your wallet.[/Quote] What a saint. How did you ever force yourself to be sexually attracted to the dark haired brad pitt. Wow if Brad pitt with dark hair can get women to like him, anyone can http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/86/60/benicio_del_toro-brad_pitt.0.0.0x0.400x250.jpeg Some people are ugly, or unattractive or whatever you want to call it...but the joy of it is, to others that 'ugliness' can be seen as sexy when wrapped up in the whole package of how they speak, hold themselves etc. This is why IMO dating sites are a dreadful source for dating on the whole, as you have some still photos to judge and some text to go with it and unless you take some chances don't ever get to find out that that girl with the goofy looking smile is actually kind of sexy with it in person and so on.[/Quote] Yeah right. Whenever women date a guy who they claim is "ugly in a sexy way", it's usually a guy who is in their league lookswise , yet they feel so holy and saintly going out with him. It's a reflection of the fact that women in America have an absurdly low opinion of the looks of the average man, rather than the fact that all these guys you girls name are ugly. I have however seen women going out with not that good looking guys in other countries however. In places like Uruguay, bulgaria, etc where good looking girls are the norm and men are beaten by a really hard life, you see this quite often. Never seen a toothless guy score with a girl in America (ugly girl or not), while in other countries Ive seen guys with black teeth walking hand in hand with models LOL! I can't count the amount of times that I've met some guy in person, who I initially thought 'not my type' but then he opens his mouth and has a cheeky sense of humour or whatever and suddenly the looks that at first were not attractive, become attractive. That is what is magical about the sexy ugly paradox.[/Quote] It was probably just a guy who checks 54 of your 60 "ideal man" boxes, I doubt you've ever been with a guy who most people would consider below average , or even average . Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 What a saint. How did you ever force yourself to be sexually attracted to the dark haired brad pitt. Wow if Brad pitt with dark hair can get women to like him, anyone can http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/86/60/benicio_del_toro-brad_pitt.0.0.0x0.400x250.jpeg Ok, I admit they do look similar. The difference is, for me, that I can see that Brad Pitt is good looking, but I don't find him attractive, whereas, I think Benicio is ugly, but yet I find him attractive. Yeah right. Whenever women date a guy who they claim is "ugly in a sexy way", it's usually a guy who is in their league lookswise , yet they feel so holy and saintly going out with him. It's a reflection of the fact that women in America have an absurdly low opinion of the looks of the average man, rather than the fact that all these guys you girls name are ugly. Jesus you are one bitter man. I've never, ever gone out with someone that I considered less attractive to me to make myself look better, that is just a horrible thought. I will say this though, that I am glad I am not in my twenties now. I think there has been so much impact of the media and reality shows etc, that we've all lost touch a bit with reality, what a normal man or woman is like, the average, not the super good looking, or super unattractive and that we are not, no matter how much we hope and wish, are going to end up with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, that we may end up leading pretty normal lives with ordinary people in it, including those we date, have sex with and marry. Maybe there are a lot of unreal expectations about what kind of guy or girl people think they can get, and the average Joe/Jane doesn't live up to that fantasy expectation which has been fuelled by too much perfection in the media, dreams of instant fame, instant sucess, instant sexiness. I have however seen women going out with not that good looking guys in other countries however. In places like Uruguay, bulgaria, etc where good looking girls are the norm and men are beaten by a really hard life, you see this quite often. Never seen a toothless guy score with a girl in America (ugly girl or not), while in other countries Ive seen guys with black teeth walking hand in hand with models LOL! I don't come from the states or live there, so I can't really comment on what it's like there, but I've seen all sorts, the beautiful couples, the couples where you think what on earth does he/she see in him/her. It was probably just a guy who checks 54 of your 60 "ideal man" boxes, I doubt you've ever been with a guy who most people would consider below average , or even average . You have no idea what I look like, I could be ugly as sin! You are assuming that I'm sitting there on a throne or something 'deigning' to go out with some average guy. I'm not ugly as sin, but nor am I miss universe, attractive enough I guess, but I have my insecurities as does everyone else. Who am I to think that I'm all that? I've been out with extremely good looking guys - one LTR, but he was pretty on the outside and totally messed up on the inside, which made him ultimately ugly, because his looks couldn't make up for his other internal problems. I've been out with bald men, short men. No long and skinnies yet, no glasses yet for some reason. Guy I'm kind of having an affair with now has little to no education and can barely read and write and I've got two university degrees. Ok, so maybe that last one is going nowhere in terms of compatibility and shared interests for long, long term, but he was kind to me at a time I needed a kind man in my life, he makes me laugh, I feel comfortable in his company and for now that's ok and I appreciate having someone who is kind to me around, even if he can't read a book (and I love reading books). I'm rambling...the point is, you are making massive assumptions based on your own experiences and bitterness towards women because you've had bad luck. I've been where you are, the more you look for the same nasty aspects of men or women, the more you will see them until that's all you see and you start to believe that that's all that's out there. Start assuming that every women you meet will be sweet and nice and you might start noticing that about more and more women. It works! Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 this thread makes me think about.. my dog! http://http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Jpdmm_npp4o/R_uJ0n3waXI/AAAAAAAADjM/u3wGxZdRlyg/s1600-h/2261625666_dfc4146eb6.jpg I have a pug and to me she is the cutest thing ever.... but I used to think (and have heard other people say as well) that pugs are so ugly that they are cute. Hmmm.... when I think about it, that statement kind of offends me now! Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 (edited) I find him sexy as well, but only when he's performing. There is something intoxicating about his stage presence. yeah, Jack is a f-in' musical genius! I have yet to see him live though. I'm not a huge fan of Dead Weather (who he's touring with now) I mean, they're good but I would LOVE to see the White Stripes or even the Raconteurs... both really! sigh.... Edited January 5, 2010 by tkgirl Link to post Share on other sites
Joe Normal Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 No one mentioned on this thread is actually "ugly" (except Dennis Franz, and he's fat bald and 60something!). Everyone is basically putting forward people who are 5/10, 7/10 etc i.e. not stunningly gorgeous or handsome, but still ok or decent-looking. Cmon, how about some people who are 4/10 or worse? I put forward Bette Midler as "ugly sexy". I'd rate her looks 3/10 but she has that kind of look that makes you think she'd be hot stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 What about old sexy? Id like to do Lauren Bacall just because Bogie did her Link to post Share on other sites
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