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Using a gift card on a first date??


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Posted
Maybe the guy is feeling OP out. Maybe he got some hesitation on her part when speaking on the phone. Maybe she said something (unknowingly?) that made him think she might not be interested. Some people hate talking on the phone. If it's not your preference to be asked out a certain way, then don't accept.

 

Yeah he could be feeling her out to see if she's really interested.

 

Personally I hate the phone, and don't like talking on it, so I use txt, email most...

Posted
If a guy feels like a girl is not interested, then he shouldn't ask her out.

 

What if the guy feels like she might be interested? How would he know? Maybe the method of asking her out is a sort of barometer for how he feels on how interested she is in him.

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Posted

Well, based on the texts I've gotten from him recently, he's not shy at all. In fact, I've actually decided that he's very forward...and maybe a little psycho. So, I think it's safe to say I'm calling the date off.

Posted
Well, based on the texts I've gotten from him recently, he's not shy at all. In fact, I've actually decided that he's very forward...and maybe a little psycho. So, I think it's safe to say I'm calling the date off.

 

Oh my. You must elaborate. What has he said to you? Psycho? :confused:

Posted
Well, based on the texts I've gotten from him recently, he's not shy at all. In fact, I've actually decided that he's very forward...and maybe a little psycho. So, I think it's safe to say I'm calling the date off.

 

You make ZERO sense.

 

You call him cheap and tacky. You proceed to accept a date from him.

You then say he's not trying hard enough, but still maintain to be okay with going out with him. You don't blame him for asking you out via text because you understand being shy, then claim he's very forward and now a little psycho. Now you are calling off the date.

 

I'd put money on that he 100% sensed this back and forth attitude from you. Hence the text asking you out. Hence testing the waters by throwing out an easy approach to asking you out.

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Posted

I'm exaggerating with the psycho, probably.

Just some pretty vulgar stuff. I just found out that I'll be moving soon. He found out from some facebook comments people left, so he sends me a text saying, "hope I get to lick you all over before you leave..." and stuff like that.

And texts like, "I wish you were here to cuddle with" or "c*m over"...

Just weird.

  • Author
Posted
You make ZERO sense.

 

You call him cheap and tacky. You proceed to accept a date from him.

You then say he's not trying hard enough, but still maintain to be okay with going out with him. You don't blame him for asking you out via text because you understand being shy, then claim he's very forward and now a little psycho. Now you are calling off the date.

 

I'd put money on that he 100% sensed this back and forth attitude from you. Hence the text asking you out. Hence testing the waters by throwing out an easy approach to asking you out.

 

Why would he need to test the waters when I'd already both agreed and suggested dates?

Posted
I'm exaggerating with the psycho, probably.

Just some pretty vulgar stuff. I just found out that I'll be moving soon. He found out from some facebook comments people left, so he sends me a text saying, "hope I get to lick you all over before you leave..." and stuff like that.

And texts like, "I wish you were here to cuddle with" or "c*m over"...

Just weird.

 

He doesn't know you that well right? Wow, how can he use such language as that? Yeah, I would say screw it all, he sounds weird. Maybe all he wants is sex, and didn't want to have to pay for dinner for you, so he wanted to use his GIFT CARD. :laugh:

Posted

If a guy wants to "test the water" with a girl, he needs to either talk to her on the phone or in person. Text, email, chat, facebook is such a passive way to communicate, and it's impossible to truly gauge someone's interested through those forms of communication.

Posted
Why would he need to test the waters when I'd already both agreed and suggested dates?

 

Lets be honest. In the world of dating, just because someone says yes, doesn't mean they mean it. How many people have gotten phone numbers, but no answer. How many people agree to a second date, but give a person the blow off. There is no certainty in dating.

 

I also find it odd that all of a sudden he started sending vulgar messages. If a guy was out for sex, you'd have seen signs before, or he would have went out with you and tried for sex.

 

Either he was prompted for the messages, or since you never mentioned you were moving - he figured you were just out for a fling before moving - or he never sent these messages recently and you're just validating yourself.

Posted
If a guy wants to "test the water" with a girl, he needs to either talk to her on the phone or in person. Text, email, chat, facebook is such a passive way to communicate, and it's impossible to truly gauge someone's interested through those forms of communication.

 

Not true, it's easier for people to test the waters through written conversation. Written rejection is often perceived easier then verbal. Btw, did you miss the part where OP said they talked on the phone?

Posted

No, I didn't miss that part. The issue I had was that he asked her out by sending her a text message. And while it may be easier to perceive that someone is not interested through written communication, it is also easier for that person to lie to you. When I'm talking with a girl in person, I can tell if she's genuinely interested in me. That, or she's great at acting. When using written communication, it's really easy to add exclamation points and smiley faces without putting any true meaning behind it.

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Posted
He doesn't know you that well right? Wow, how can he use such language as that? Yeah, I would say screw it all, he sounds weird. Maybe all he wants is sex, and didn't want to have to pay for dinner for you, so he wanted to use his GIFT CARD. :laugh:

 

 

Too funny :lmao:

Posted

How is it sudden if he sends dirty text? Signs before? There is no before. Even if they have talked a bit, they haven't gone out. I think he is trying to see if she is easy, because he wants to get in her pants soon. :rolleyes:

 

He probably wasn't even serious about dinner or using a gift card. Now, see all this discussion for nothing. No telling what he is up to. Did you meet him online? That would explain a lot.

Posted
No, I didn't miss that part. The issue I had was that he asked her out by sending her a text message. And while it may be easier to perceive that someone is not interested through written communication, it is also easier for that person to lie to you. When I'm talking with a girl in person, I can tell if she's genuinely interested in me. That, or she's great at acting. When using written communication, it's really easy to add exclamation points and smiley faces without putting any true meaning behind it.

 

And anyone can add a white lie when speaking or exaggerate any claim...

 

Congrats on being the only person in the world who can see through every spoken lie and interpret every physical gesture.

Posted

Yeah, it's impossible to tell that someone is not interested in you when that person looks everywhere but at you when having a conversation with you and that person responds with a bunch of one-word answers.

Posted
Yeah, it's impossible to tell that someone is not interested in you when that person looks everywhere but at you when having a conversation with you and that person responds with a bunch of one-word answers.

 

That's not the situation. The question was amount of interest, not zero interest. And obviously there was some initially or else this thread wouldn't exist ;)

Posted
No, I didn't miss that part. The issue I had was that he asked her out by sending her a text message. And while it may be easier to perceive that someone is not interested through written communication, it is also easier for that person to lie to you. When I'm talking with a girl in person, I can tell if she's genuinely interested in me. That, or she's great at acting. When using written communication, it's really easy to add exclamation points and smiley faces without putting any true meaning behind it.

 

Please... How many people genuinely have thought a person was interested in them after a date and then nothing? And I said it is perceived that it is easy to be rejected via written conversation.

 

How is it sudden if he sends dirty text? Signs before? There is no before. Even if they have talked a bit, they haven't gone out. I think he is trying to see if she is easy, because he wants to get in her pants soon. :rolleyes:

 

He probably wasn't even serious about dinner or using a gift card. Now, see all this discussion for nothing. No telling what he is up to. Did you meet him online? That would explain a lot.

 

Well OP claimed that recently he started sending these supposed dirty texts. If he was just looking for sex, she should have seen it before. Someone looking for sex is going to show signs sooner then later. Hence, why I think it's more of a fabrication on OP's part to validate her feelings on how tacky he is.

 

And anyone can add a white lie when speaking or exaggerate any claim...

 

Congrats on being the only person in the world who can see through every spoken lie and interpret every physical gesture.

 

Right. I wish I had those skillz :rolleyes:

 

Yeah, it's impossible to tell that someone is not interested in you when that person looks everywhere but at you when having a conversation with you and that person responds with a bunch of one-word answers.

 

A person can be not interested in still give you eye to eye contact, make conversation. They may want to be friendly and not rude. Get real man.

Posted
:

Originally Posted by dreamergrl

And anyone can add a white lie when speaking or exaggerate any claim...

 

Congrats on being the only person in the world who can see through every spoken lie and interpret every physical gesture.Right. I wish I had those skillz :rolleyes:[/Quote]=====

 

I've seen your posts on here. I bet you do ;)

Posted

I've seen your posts on here. I bet you do ;)

 

I really do. But lets face it. It is not possible to see through everyone. If it was so easy, there would be so many less posts about "are they interested".

 

It is also easier to access another person's situation then it is your own. When it is your own, you have thoughts and feelings that others do not.

Posted

Well actually some guys don't want a woman to know they are about sex. At the very beginning, there may be no signs or very few. You don't always know, or least from experience I haven't.

Posted
I really do. But lets face it. It is not possible to see through everyone.

I agree. It's too funny when people claim they have abilities to read women. Ha!

Posted
I really do. But lets face it. It is not possible to see through everyone. If it was so easy, there would be so many less posts about "are they interested".

 

It is also easier to access another person's situation then it is your own. When it is your own, you have thoughts and feelings that others do not.

 

I know, I was just posting sarcastically ;)

Posted
Well actually some guys don't want a woman to know they are about sex. At the very beginning, there may be no signs or very few. You don't always know, or least from experience I haven't.

 

Sorry, but someone looking for a quick lay isn't going to talk, make plans, reschedule plans, and then all of a sudden start sending sexual messages (Unless provoked).

 

They haven't even met yet. So obviously if he wanted to score with her, he'd have waited until they do, or started this from the very beginning to get to the point.

Posted
Sorry, but someone looking for a quick lay isn't going to talk, make plans, reschedule plans, and then all of a sudden start sending sexual messages (Unless provoked).

 

They haven't even met yet. So obviously if he wanted to score with her, he'd have waited until they do, or started this from the very beginning to get to the point.

 

Glad you think so. Well, its not always the case. I've had guys chat with me online and on phone, without actually meeting me. They seem genuine at first, then suddenly they tell me they were hoping I was an easy lay or something to that effect. Or ask me to "come over". Things like that. Yes, he did reschedule, but that doesn't mean he isn't looking to get laid.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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