Author Confused728 Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Why did i do that, oh my god im so hurt...if i was talkin to him and texting still being freinds i would have been invited... i wonder if he even thinks about me.. what an EFin jerk. im soo mad right now like ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Author Confused728 Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 guess he really doesnt care since we started no contact and i didnt asnwer him in two weeks he didnt invite me again. what a jerk im so hurt right now its bad
Metal_Muffin Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 I know....I do understand how your feeling and it sucks but you are better then this they are just idiots and you know what one day they will look back and regret this!!
Author Confused728 Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 its bad i feel so angery upset and hurt, i hope he is feeling this though as much as me.. he a jerk really a bas**d i hate him so much right now really how could he do this to me and put me threw this
2sunny Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 its bad i feel so angery upset and hurt, i hope he is feeling this though as much as me.. he a jerk really a bas**d i hate him so much right now really how could he do this to me and put me threw this he's not feeling a thing... he doesn't care enough to feel. why do you want to care more than he does? he hasn't given it a second thought... moving forward and past the pain and disappointment would be useful. it is an illusion... a relationship that never was what you THOUGHT it was... he is incapable while using - an empty person of a shell that you are giving all your emotions and power to - an empty shell of a person... full of nothingness... and capable of no feelings... this is what is tying up all your time, energy and emotions... an empty shell of what he could have been. face reality - face what he actually is - and what he isn't... it may be easier to get over him if you face the reality of what he isn't... just what you thought he could be.
Author Confused728 Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 sunny very true good way to look at things! just hurts id like to think that he cares about me to some extent. how do i stop worring about if hes havein sex with some one else and stuff? i just wish he woudl go away im glad i am doing no contact cause its forcing me to deal with my emotions rather than hearing from him and having a rollercoaster ride. i feel must steadier doing it by myself.
Metal_Muffin Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 I know my ex is doing drugs but I'm not going to say that it ruined my whole relationship. I know he loved me...he might not feel the same now but he did! Still we need up move on...it's hard bloody hard but just need to take each day at a time
Author Confused728 Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 metal im startin to think mabey it was really the drugs, we were just in the way and they didnt want anyone in the way of that, we were on to them, i hope thats it i dont think its us
2sunny Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 from listening to the HONEST side of the druggies many times - AFTER they quit using - it is always the same story... NOTHING and NO ONE would have stopped them from getting the drugs they wanted... if anything or anyone got in the way (no matter how great they were) they were pushed out of their lives. no looking back for them. they simply didn't care about anyone or anything because they were completely numb to the emotions and oblivious to the pain they were inflicting at the time.
Author Confused728 Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 sunny i think ur right its just so hard cause he told me so many things and i wonder if its really me thats what makes it hard, he never really had a firm reason for breaking up with me always somting diffent..but when he told me these things he didnt apear high or sound high but i dont know cause it was over text only a few times in person... how long does the effects of cocaine last...you right about how they seem oblivous to pain of others, though i cried he said he felt bad, but then he started turning it around saying i was only doing it to manipulte him and that me being hurt was just a form of me trying to manipulate him
Author Confused728 Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 i never belived him when it came to the drug stuff because he always took on a diffent tone and it sounded fake... he would say that hes better than that sh*t then one time he told me that his freinds where over and he told them not to bring that stuff around and they respected that.. it just sounded all so fake. then toward end i told him that he has to let me hear him say it to them and he didnt wanna do that... then he would try to say me questioning him was me not trusting him and if i couldnt trust him then why be together, wich i think he was using to manipulte me so i wouldnt ask.. u think thats what he was doing sunny?
2sunny Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 that's part of their deal - they LIE, LIE, LIE. when the disease is active you will always get manipulation and lies. that's why it's impossible for you to make sense of it at all... so stop wasting your good energy - it will never make sense unless he is clean and sober one day/year and decides to let you in on the truth of it all. for now, he will never allow you to know... that's just the way it works for them.
Metal_Muffin Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Confused u think you ate right we are in the way. My ex didn't even have the nerve to break up with me face to face let alone over the phone. All done by txt...he won't even see or speak to me now. He's not one for taking responsibility for his actions. I feel crap tonight though went over my mates and I just sat there while so cuddled up to her boyfriend. I don't want my mates to unhappy I'm glad she's with someone she loves...just makes me miss him even more!
Author Confused728 Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 sunny you seem to know alot about this how do u know so much, have u had this experince also
Metal_Muffin Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Today I'm angry...I can't be bothered to cry over him anymore. He's not even thinking straight so what's the point! I'm just wasting my time!!
Author Confused728 Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 ya im starting to think do i really wanna deal with this either why do i want him back, he not the person i thought he was ike sunny said, he drinks to much, prob doing drugs, and is treating me pretty bad.. though i still think he nice i guess that wasnt the real him.. im still fustrated though.. i just hope he missing me as much as i miss him,
Metal_Muffin Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 I know I hope me ex misses me but I just don't know how much longer I can justify sit and wallowing over him if he's quite happily moving on! He's not the bloke I fell in love with...while at the moment he's this stoned nervous person he's no good for me...like your better then your ex
Metal_Muffin Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Well im still angry today...I just can't believe I've not heard from him! How can they be finding this so easy?! Makes me question If he ever loved me at all
Author Confused728 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 its so hard, i havent heard from mine either, plus he is going away at the end of this week with the druggies.. if he calls or text me prob wont be till sometime when he gets back cause he prob doesnt want me to ruin his time... it bothers me so much that he is going away with them... just pours salt in my wounds thats why i decided to stop talking to him
Metal_Muffin Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I know...for a few weeks Ive been debating hanging on, waiting or trying to convince him. I can't though I just can't do this anymore I'm only hurting myself so I just need to crack on and move on! Do you think your hear from him after his week away? Would you reply?!
Author Confused728 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 i have a feelin that if he does contact me it will be after he comes back, he wont want to contact me before to ruin his time. i honestly dont think i should answer and may not, i told myself i would be done with him once he went away with them, he goes i dont think i ever want to talk to him again, i feel its a slap in the face, and even though he wants my freindship and even if i wanted his, i wont give it to him jsut for that reason, i wont care if i talk to him till the day i die, ill cut him out and deal with it. that simple..
Metal_Muffin Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I don't know if I'll hear from my ex again. Deep down I think I will but it won't be soon and I'm not going to stop myself moving on. I do miss him a lot tonight but I just need to remind myself that he's done this not me and I don't deserve it!
Author Confused728 Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 ya seems like we are in the same place i dont expect to hear from mine for a while but feel like i will sooner or later... but i wont count on it.. i feel good today and i am hating him right now so i feel good lol
Metal_Muffin Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Yeah it might be in 6 months time but I'm pretty sure I'll hear from him but he can't expect me to just sit and wait which is what he's thinking I'll be doing! I'm angry today I've just had enough of feeling rubbish and crying so I'm going to try and ignore those moments where I muss him and try keep how I'm feeling now! When does your ex go away?
Author Confused728 Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 i havent cried over him in almost two months. ya i think they really belive we are sitting around waiting... mine seemed shocked when i told him that i was gonna see other guys. i said what do you think i was gonna sit around in the house whey you went out hanging out with druggies... i kinda give tough love.. not sure if thats good or not lol
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