Author Confused728 Posted October 25, 2009 Author Share Posted October 25, 2009 well, its tough people thought i could do better looking though he was good looking, but i never really told people about me catching him going into bathroom with three guys and that he told me he used to do drugs somtimes, i never told people that, hes a nice guy people liked him. but they thought i was better lookin one. today is my third week of no contact, he hasnt contacted me now in evelen days since i stoped answering him, though when we broke up in agust he wanted to talk and would hang out if i asked and text every few days. should i keep no contact up or should i eventurally contact him or wait if he contacts me, do u think he will try again? im really missing him today and did love him alot and i think he loved me to but who knows. i just dont know what hes doing this... i agree that in short term we are ones worse of and them better. i seen my ex last three weeks ago and he wanted me to stay over, i told him i would sleep in other room he wanted me to sleep in bed with him and not for sex but just to have some one to sleep with, lol he doesnt usally have sex late at night like that, then i left and he stoped me from going and he was like i dont wanna mess with ur emotions but id like u to stay for night, but i was mad cause he told me he woudl be going away with those drug addicts so thats why i broke off all contact cause i just cant go threw that again, that pretty much made up my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Its been three weeks for me...i always miss him, its like an ache in my stomache i carry around with me. Try and NC him, i made the massive mistake of going out on thursday and ringing my ex and stupid o clock basically telling him this was the only way i had any nerve, i miss him, love him, want him back. I realised though all the time im talking to him, making this effort hes got me where he wants. He can pick me up and have me back when he wants because he knows im waiting. They need to realise they shot themselves in the foot. Drugs work now but they wont make them feel better, they cant look out for them love them like us and one day whether its next week or 6 months they will see that. I guess we just need to find some strength and move on even though its hard! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 25, 2009 Author Share Posted October 25, 2009 i just hate all the self doubt because i wonder if its really somting i did wrong, but he can never stick to one issue about me. if it was cause of his freinds and drugs i would be able to say skrew that but i start to wonder whats wrong with me, then another time he said i did nothing wrong and that it was him, and one time when we were fighting over the drugs and his freinds he said "this is why i dont love you", but another time he did say it, so i dont know what to think. mostly everytime he said he wanted a break from me or to break up its when we were fightign over his freinds it never came up any other time, though the last few months he seemed alittle more distant. but i miss everthing not just him but his family, we got along great his family and i, they all liked me, his druggie freinds hated me though and talked about me behind my back, but his family liked me and i miss them alot like we used to have great times on weekend and have dinners, was really quaitly time. even one time when we first started going threw these problems he text me saying that he ejoyed time with me and that it was quaility time and better than going out and partying and stuff, but lol guess he didnt feel that way to much. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I know what you mean. Even if he had cheated or i know it was something that i would of done, maybe if i was really difficult or i was a massive cow then i could move on from this quicker. Plus when thens nothing final from them it makes it TWICE of hard. I miss my ex's family too...specially his sister and dad we used to get on really well. I cant imagine what he will tell them but they dont live near me so i wont see them. Even my bloody dog misses my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 so do you think alot of out break ups had to do with drugs, or really what they said about us lol, even three weeks ago when we talked again people said he and i should work it out and we talked about that and he said "well they werent the ones in a relationship with you, know one knows how it is, i dont care what anyone says it doesnt change my mind, your not gonna change, you are how you are. then i asked what i could do in my next relationship so i dont **** up he was like just trust them and dont take away their dignity by accuing them of stuff and stop twisting words" like i couldnt belive it. i think he just trying to make me bad, but its confusing what u think Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Your ex is doing drugs. Guys just sometimes like to piss together? Is he kidding? No, no, no. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 ya i never belived that, he said that about 2 years ago when i caught him, thats why i always doubted his credibiltiy when it came to him denyin he did drugs, he still to this day would admit that he did nothing in that bathroom. but ill never belive that. do you think now he is going into a relapse and doing drugs again? i just cant figure out whats up Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 In my heart of hearts i know drugs are what made my ex finish with me. I know as well that hes going to be smoking loads now im not around. I do know though that im not perfect and i prob am guilty of some of the things he said about me when we used to argue....but i dont think he would of been speaking about spending our lives together a few weeks before if i was that bad?! Also...think of the timing it all went tits up when you and i started questioning how much or what they were doing. I doubt they even know at the moment what a mistake or whatever they've made. We cant put ourselves on hold though or hurt ourselves because of their actions. Have you heard anymore from your ex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 i havent recived a text from him now in 12 days, i broke contact off three weeks ago and he sent a text about three times in those three weeks but its been 12 days now since he has. do you think he will send another? or you think he is waiting for me to give in? what do u think he is thinking about the nc. first few weeks where easy but latley i been thinking about him alot and miss him alot now, and have dreams about him almost everynight. i wouldnt say i was perfect either but i def wasnt as bad as he made me out to be, if i was that bad i dont know why he watns to be freinds with me. but i started questiong him as to why those freinds where comming around more than usual. and the reason we broke up is becuase we were going to go away for a few days with those druggies and i didnt want to go, i made a fuss about it and that was in aug. during that time before we went, i threatened to break up if he went, but we ended up going it was a disaster. but he told me that he didnt love me and alot of other stuff, but he never said any of that and never told me he wanted to break up until a few days before we were supposed to go away. but again he insit we didnt break up becuase of this. and i questioned why he allowed his freinds to bring drugs in his car he pretended he didnt know that they did. at first he ws going to cancel the trip, but then one of the druggies got on the phone with him and yelled at him and he ended up changing his mind to go, i get so mad about it still i feel like calling him now and yelling at him about it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 i keep wondering to if he will change his mind and realize what a mistake he made, i could be fantsizing. but i wonder if he misses me at all or anything, i just dont understand why he doing this Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 I do the same...i think about him all the time, wonder if he misses me, if he struggling with no contact. If your ex is anything like mine then im guessing they would rather save face then say 'yea u were right i let drugs get in the way i made a mistake im sorry' they prob dont even really know that its the drugs that caused all this in the first place. You know one day they will wake up and see how the destroyed all this...not us. I know it is hard, i literally miss mine all the time, i really wish i didnt and even though you know you dont want to be in a relationship consisting of three...you, him and drugs thats not what your relationship was all the time. Ive not heard from mine at all....he replied to me and was all pathetic saying he hopes this gets easier etc and then when i agree and show im missing him he plays the tough guy again saying its for the best etc. Dont txt him though...he has to know he cant treat you like rubbish for drugs or his drug mates. As long as he knows your there waiting he wont be in any rush to deal with it. Thats why im now def doing NC with my ex because while he knows i want him back hes never going to take a step back and see he shot himself in the foot and messed up. Oh and i know how you feel....ive started dreaming about my ex all the time...just makes me miss him more when i wake up....x Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 i do the same wake up and miss him more, lol it happens almost every day im sick of it lol. here another thing, i threatened to break up with him in july, again cause of these drug friends, i told him to chose either me or them and he said he wasnt going to chose and it wasnt fair that i make him chose, then i told him mabey we should break up, and that we should see other people cause i didnt wanna be with some one who chose drugs and drug addicts over me, he changed his tune and said to me he didnt want that. then only about three weeks later all of a sudden, he told me he didnt love me, that i was forcing him to love me,saying he hasnt felt the same, saying im to emotional and always a diffent story, blah all about 2 days before he wanted to go away with his coke head freinds. so i wanted told him we should break up three weeks before he decided not to work things out with me and at that time he didnt want it, why did it change in three weeks? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 also my ex is the same, even if he is regreting it, he wouldnt tell me because he is afraid he would look weak, same exact thing. even if he was missing me i doubt he would tell me, hes not good at expressing his emotions. OMG and same thing here when i tell him i miss him or i wanna work things out he plays tough also, saying same thing, that its for the best and that im never gonna change, and he also says "I thought we agreed to this", i agreed to it at first but i watned to work things out. also he likes to play victim, that if i start NC, he thinks im cutting him out and gets mad, then we made plans to go out for dinner and i didnt feel like going he said i stood him up and then he called me a mind F***K. lol so in some ways he makeing me feel like the dumper beucase hes acting like it. its funny sad and pathetic at same time, he seems to forget that three times i came to him trying to work things out, im kinda sorry i did that now he prob thinks that im waiting around for him Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 I know my ex literally changed his point of view in a matter of days...seriously its nuts i didnt understand it. He went from being all happy and loving and then i started to nag him cause as u can imagine the weed doesnt excalty give him much give up and go...also he got made redundant and i just started a new course in london and then boom...i think we should break up. He says how hes struggling, i hopes it gets easier and then he says this is for the best for us, i dont want to end up resenting you in the future, i cant make you something your not. Seriously they could prob set up their own club where they can just be head f**Ks together. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Oh and dont worry about him now thinking your hanging around, i messed up massively this thursday by ringing him while i was slightly drunk going on about how im sure hes moved on but i cant and all that crap....so i know now that my ex wont be in any massive rush to pull his finger out his ass cause whether its next week or 6months he now just thinks that im waiting and they only thing i can do to try make him realise is to just point blank not txt him...its not easy but i dont want him to think im weak and be manipulated Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 OMG, our stories sound so similar im wondering if your a set up lol, ok he said the same thing that its good we end the relationship now because he doesnt want to resent me, or end up hating me, he said the same exact thing. and he said "You are how you are". I dont know how he is feeling because he doesnt tell me, but when i told him i was gonna see another guy he got all jelous and i told him one of his casual freinds hit on me lol he got jelous so i think he cares to some extent. but him wanting me to stay over and stay in contact with me i think means he still cares. but he going away with those druggies in a few weeks, u think he will be cokeing it up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 ya i miss him at times and want to hear from him, but im definatly stubborn in the fact that i dont plan on texting him EVER unless he does it first, and if its somting stupid im not gonna answer, when he says somting like i miss you, or im sorry, or lets talk then ill answer but until then i dont plan on it, and if i moved on more at that time i wont even answer. I just hope he is suffering just as much as me, i hate to think that hes not bothered at all by me cutting him off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 and another time he said he felt bad that i was cryign but then a few days later said that i was just trying to manipulte him, and that he was "On to me" i think his freinds or somting must have been feeding him bs. i just cant belive he would belive a bunch of junkies over me. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 1. he said the same thing that its good we end the relationship now because he doesnt want to resent me, or end up hating me, he said the same exact thing. and he said "You are how you are". 2. so i think he cares to some extent. but him wanting me to stay over and stay in contact with me i think means he still cares. 3. but he going away with those druggies in a few weeks, u think he will be cokeing it up? 1. he acknowledges that you are great - he isn't capable of having you in his life because his priority over you is his drug use... and you have pointed out your intolerance if he is using. 2. i'm sure he cares to some extent - but the drug is a bigger priority than you will ever be unless he quits ON HIS OWN - not because you want him to. 3. yes. yes. yes... he will be doing the drug thing - why else would he go? face reality - he wants to do the coke more than he wants to be with you. it's not his fault - he can't help it. it is what it is - stay away from him or you will get REALLY hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 lol i know...im thinking your a set up...it does make it so much easier having someone who actually understands though. I know what you mean i wont respond untill he says something like miss you, i love you or anything...and even then ill have my gaurd up. I know that everyone thinks im better off without him etc and drugs are not something i want in my future but i cant pretend that i feel better off without him. Yeah i had the same...i dont to resent you...its for the best in the future...but it sounds more like hes only convincing himself. I dont know if he'll be cokeing it up babe...i cant say i know my ex is smoking loads...prob doing other things because im not there and its just him, his 'alone time' and his mates. We are better then this though hun...even if it does kill to not be with them. I think its also hard to just forget about them because drugs has crept in but that wasnt what your whole relationship was about so you cant just move on...people screw up but that doesnt stop you loving them...does that make sense?! Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Oh and i really hope that my ex is suffering as much as me as well, i dont know but i almost feel like i would feel a bit better if i knew he was. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 i also send him an email around the time we broke up about cocaine addiction and how people behave and hang out with druggies, he flipped out and sent me text saying he wasnt and addict and blah, anytime i mentioned drugs be became very defensive....... it does make sence what you said that its hard to move on, because ur right its not what it was all about, it didnt become a huge issue until this past summer, when i started questioning why these drug addict freinds where comming around... i hate that he doesnt even consider my feelings and just tells me hes going away with those druggies and says it like its not supposed to bother me, what he think i was gonna say oh have fun, i dont know why he woudl tell me unless he just wanted to antagonize me more...then he said before we make great freinds, and that we arent connecting... also one of his good freinds is a drug dealer i forget to mention that, he deals drugs and doesnt work, Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Yeah one of my mates good mates and cousin is a dealer...well only weed and mandy...not good though. So i guess its always on tap for them. Its hard because we love them and bearing in mind we prob know more about the situation and them we know that not even there family are likely to step in and look out for them. See i know my ex is at risk at becoming a recluse and its just going to make him smoke more. I dont know why...its selfish of them to just pin the blame on us. When we went on our break in march i did the same...sent my ex an email about it all and he flipped out saying this was why he couldnt trust me or tell him anything because i just judge and dont understand and trust him. He gave it up but to be honest looking back now i dont think he did that initially for us i think its because his best mate started seeing someone and it was pretty full on so he was never there for my ex to do it with. He then had a really bad experience on something and said he would cut down etc and thats when things really looked good for us but then again withen like a week he's breaking up with me because of a number of reasons that are my fault...When i read what we are going through and how they make us feel i can see how we must be stupid to still love them and want to be with them...but its hard!! i think we should just smash their heads together...lol Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Sorry i meant my ex's mate and cousin....not mine lol! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 another thing that might have pissed my ex off is i told him i was getting asking professional help, because i called a drug hotline to find out signs and symptoms and stuff. I also told one of my friends that was a cop about the situation, and i told the ex that i told my cop freind this. he kinda got mad over it, and told his freind, i told him let him have words with me cause ill give him a peice of my mind im not afraid of him. my ex for some reason would get pushed around by these guys and whatever they told him to do he would just do it. when i told him that he listens and does what they say, he says no i dont, and doesnt belive they push him around. there is one in particular that runs the show and he jumps when he says somting. Link to post Share on other sites
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