Metal_Muffin Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 What did the drug line come up with when you told them? Its just a case of them not admitting they have a problem and they dont like us not allowing them to hide from it...even though we only do it because we love them and us as a couple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 most everyone i ask and explain the situation, even my doctor lol, they all think that hes doing drugs, but its so hard for me to convict him with out seeing the physical evidence. I just dont understand how he could throw a relationship away for drugs, if thats the reason. are drug addicts known to break up and give other reasons than drugs. I made sure that when i broke up with him i told him it was because of the drugs and no other reason, because i didnt want him spinning the story to something else. And im not sure to what extent his family knows, i know when they ask he just says its to complicated to explain why we broken up, but one cousin he is close with he prob makes it look like im lying about it or somthing, though that person said at one time that since he was with me he calmed down. i think one of his syblings might have an idea as i was heated once and told them, and they said "you think we didnt know he did that". i also told one of his syblings that his friends were doing drugs in the house. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 there is no reason for you to keep questioning your decision. you have your answer. he chose drugs over you - they always do. nothing you can say or do will make any of your situation different until HE decides this is a problem he wants to change. any words he uses or has used are empty - he is a druggy - they lie, cheat and steal for what they want. he removed you from his life because you weren't going along with his plan... which is to do the drugs without you bothering him. that's why he did you a favor. stay away and stop wondering about him - he'll do it his way until he gets tired of it - which may be never. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 i know its just hard to belive that such a otherwise pretty good thing ended over that and that he would try to lie and manipulte me, he just didnt seem like the type, hes a pretty nice guy. I just cant belive i would get tossed aside like that...oh ya one night when he was drunk, we were out and i seen a few guy friends that i know and i was talking to them, and they are decent guys,sucsessful nice, and they are pretty good lookin, and they all like me, and always are happy to see me, well on the walk home my ex said to me in drunk speak, somthing along the lines of, "i know if we broke up those are the kind of guys you could get"...and then said maybe i would be happier with them and maybe there more my type... and he said "they might like you better than i do" whatever that ment, i think he prob wanted to say they might treat you better than i do but prob coudlnt say that. but who knows. but anyway he was like never mind skrew them forget about them.. like he regreted saying that after he said it. again he said this all to me when we where away for a weekend with those druggies Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 oh ya there was another time last december, we went to one of his druggie freinds xmas party, i thought this would be a regular xmas party but it was pretty much a couple guys there all running into the bathroom all night, I was upset about it and we had an argument and when we got home i was ready to leave him, and was gonna go home, but i started crying and he asked me not to leave, and he also started crying wich was the first and only time i ever seen him cry. and one time i cant remember if it was that night or not, but he said "i used to think you were the one but now im not so sure. we are just from diffent worlds" whatever that ment. but usally these comments about not being together mostly always came hand in hand with fights over drugs Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I had the same thing with my male friends. My ex flipped said hownhe wouldn't like going out with me, like clubbing because everyone looks at me an he would only get jealous. He would say the same about if we broke up I would or should be with someone like that! I don't think it's just that easy to stop thinking about them becaus drugs are involved i love my ex and I can't pretend that i don't plus i also worry a lot about him!! My ex said we were from different worlds as well! Even though for three years we had been spot on. I think it's just how this all changed so quickly, one minute everythings fine and the next I'm on here cause he dumped me!! Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Today's a bad day I miss like hell...by not hearing from him it makes me feel like he's doing fine which sucks because I think it hurts more thinking that I'm feeling this and he's just moving on Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 do you think they ever might feel hurt when they think of us moving on? it is hard to pretend your moving on i think about him alot almost everyday, i do things to distract myself but when im doing them i still think of him. What will it take for them to relize that what they are doing is so wrong. do they feel bad at all or know in their own minds why they break up occured or do they also belive the lies they spew at us? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 its been about three weeks now that i started no contact with him, i have my good days and my bad today i feel lousy, kinda miss him and kinda mad and fustrated i wish i could just get on the phone right now and give him a piece of my mind! Good for you for staying strong. And as far as giving him a piece of your mind -- you'd be telling a drug addled brain -- not HIM - and believe me if you did he'd see it as a window to try to manipulate you in some way. Just don't even go there. Rise above as you have been. You are SO much better off. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I really hope so babe...I can't speak for your ex but bearing in mind ours seem like twins I know one day mine will look back and know he messes up. Like I said in the long run we are better off and in the short term thy are. I think the lies they tell us is them convincing themselves or that's how it seems to me. Both our arguement started when the drugs were there and they took away the people we fell in love with. Yeah I'm work and i feel better but he's always there in the back of my mind Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 tommrow will be two weeks since the last time he text me, think he will do it again? I get worried about him too, i hope he doesnt end up dying or overdosing or something. I just feel powerless i wish there was somthing i could do to help him.. I just dont get it what makes them want drugs.. why does some one with alot going for them a good relationship, good job, good family put everthing in jepordy.. why does he want to hang around with a bunch of coke heads... i feel insluted that they get chosen over me Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 If im honest....i think that hes saying it because hes not ready to accept theres a problem with him and hes putting the blame on you. My ex swings between blaming him and me, when i agree that i screwed up etc he goes protective and says not to blame myself because he didnt help. 80%...even more actually of the time its stuff ive done wrong...and its been like that each arguement we have like this. I know i was talking to my aunty this evening about it and she was saying how we were good together and to give him space but it sounds like to her hes letting me go because he knows im hurting watching him do this and she thinks thats a sign of true love, when you let someone go so they spread their wings but if im honest i dont know if my ex actually thinks that deep about things. I think they both have screwed up...look at how still after all this time love them and worry. Neither of them are ready to take any responsability for their actions and therefore we are doing it for them. If you could have the perfect ending....would you be back with him?! Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Also...i think its more a choice over him not accepting the truth not them over you...they are both in denial and with the one person they love questioning them maybe they just cant take it so they pushed us away. Its not easy dealing with the truth when its ugly and they need to work this out...maybe by loosing us it will be what they need. I know that my ex will never find anyone that loves him like me...and one day he will see that too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 if it could be perfect ending hahaha, id like him to stop haning out with drug addicts if he doing the drugs id like him to stop get help, and like to try and work things out.. but i dont see it happening lol mine did the same thing, where he was telling me that i might be happier with some of the other guys that like me, and said they were more my type and he would tell me im not bad and i could get some good guys, and he said "they might like me better than him", id like to think that he ment to say they might treat me better, but i dont know, i would like to think that he is doing it because he cares and knows i dont like that drug lifestyle, but who knows if thats how he ment it. Not sure he thinks that deep either? anyone have any thoughts on this Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 also somtimes feel that people talked him into doing this, because few weeks before he seemed fine, even during the time we had the fight and after, he seemed like he wanted to work things out then all of a sudden he started changing and i asked if someone was influnenceing his mind, and he would just say you made my mind up, and i cant take you saying im using drugs anymore i had enough, and i made his mind up by the way i act. then i tried to talk to him again, and he said trying to work things out was "like trying to polish a terd" like i couldnt belive some of the things he was saying, and i should mean texting because he text all of this never said it face to face or even on phone all text. but when we met in person he just kept saying he was decided. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Bloody hell what a thing to say! Polishing turd!! Is that something he would usually say? Yeah mine all happened over txt...it's the only way my ex had the nerve to end it! Deep down you know your partner..so I can't really say bit I do how quickly my boyfriends mind would change and I know it was cause of the drugs. Maybe sometimes when he was txting all that bull his friends were there, he might of been showing off to them! He prob would if just wanted you to of turned a blind eye to what he was doing. It sounds to me as well like both or ex's have a case of cowardice! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 well when he said the turd thing he was home and texting so not sure if anyone was there or if mabey he did drugs, i dont know... another thing that bothers me is that he might be just moving on and not thinking about me at all and out having a good time and not thinking about it as much as i am. Though at one point i got mad after we broke up he didnt invite me out somehwere and i invited him, he said to me that if one of my other freinds who was supposed to go out with me didnt cancel i woudlnt have even bothered with him so mabey he thinks the same. I just hope he thinks about it as much as i do Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I know what you mean...I wonder if my ex is doing ok. I mean he was never one for going out and that hence why he smoked as much because of his anxiety but because I've not heard from him it makes me think that he's doing ok and that's not nice. Although I think it will be hard for them..it's never an situation whether you finish it or not. I would be really surprised if he is finding this as easy as you think he is, I'm sure he's struggling as well! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 i had a dream about him again last night woke up missing him this morning..i felt like texting him telling him i missed him lol i didnt do it though... i keep wondering if he will ever change his mind and say he wants to work something out. i know this has been goin on since august but we kept contact until oct 3, so mabey the nc thing is a harsher reality where before it prob felt like i never left... what do u think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 i remember that when we started going threw this, 2 days before he wanted to go away with those druggies, he told me that he is been thinking this since march that he wasnt sure he felt the same away about me and that we needed a break and he needed to remember why he loved me... back in march was another party we had a fight over..but he said he didnt wanna push me to the point where we wouldnt talk, he didnt like when i told him we not gonna talk again. i just cant help wondering if its me or if drugs had alot to do with it...so tough Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 oh ya and he said that he kept waiting to see if his feelings would change and come back Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 and another time he said that he would like us to be freinds and i asked how he would feel if i got another boyfreind he said he would feel happy for me, and they he would still like to invite me to his cook outs and things. and wanted to be on good terms. but then if i tell him im dating someone, i told him that to see his reaction he got all jelous called them jerks and other names and he said i just told him that to get an emotion out of him, if we broken up and he doesnt want to work things out, why would he care? i just dont know whats going on Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I know it's hard I actually had a dream about my ex last night and made me miss him...I too wanted to txt him but I held back. Just tend to vent on here when I feel like this! Babe really....everything we have spoken about on here has been about drugs. I can only go by what you tell me and my situation because they are so similar and from what I gather this to me sounds like drugs. Those drugs will make it easier for them to get through this where we just have love shack lol. He must still love you it's not something you can't just turn it off and he's obviously upset about you dating other people and don't forget what we said about them both wanting to save face and they would never come back with their tails between their legs because they are too proud! How are you feeling now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 yesterday i was havign a good day today i feel blah and down i want him back and miss him, i get angery and sad. ya it has to be about the drugs even though he would never admit it, and thats what makes it hard beucase im not 100 percent sure if thats it, so there always that doubt in my mind that the other things he said might be accurate, though the only time he said them is when we fought about the drugs any other type of argument we had we usally worked it out and we really didnt have that many, though he thinks we did lol but not sure why he said back in august he didnt love me, then just 3 weeks ago i said i love you to him and he said i love you too. and i know how he is and wouldnt say somting like that if i didnt mean it. And i also said somting else before i was like "im still in love with you" and i think he kinda got nervos because imediatly he was like SHHHHHHHHH. but its driving me nuts,after he goes away with those guys in 2 weeks i think i definatly dont want him back i feel its a slap in the face to me, what do you think, how can he break up with me and then run and go away with them and think ill be fine with that, thats what really put me over board for doing nc. i dont think he expected me to react like this and i think he misjudged me and the whole situation is a good case of someone digging a hole and not knowing when to put the shovel down Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 I miss him a lot today as well.. I really want to txt him but I know I can't! This is stupid it's so hard lol Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts