Author MeaganRaye Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 I have to say when I was insecure I hated porn, now I think it's fine. I use it, my H uses it. We still have sex, we still love each other, so what's the big deal. My H got rid of his movies, because he thought I still didn't like them. So a few weks ago I went an picked up some new ones for him...I feel it isn't normal for a man not to look at porn. You had to be TRAINED to think it's okay, though. Somehow, I am going to have to train myself to accept this. It goes to show you its not a natural reaction for a woman to think this is okay, there has to be a level of programming to not feel threatened by it. And some women, like me, may be resistant to this. So in this day and time, I guess I will be forced to remain single if I don't hop on this bandwagon of allowing my husband/boyfriend to look at porn and salivate over naked women Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 A woman has a good reason to be insecure if her S/O is looking at naked women having sex. I can't have self esteem and accept this from a man. I don't know how some women do itWhy? I don't see why a woman has good reason to be insecure. There's no interaction or even the slightest glimmer of opportunity for cheating, unless the man becomes obsessed with a porn star. If so, he's got worse issues... I can see why a woman wouldn't want to date a sex addict due to all kinds of psychological issues assocated to addiction or if she dislikes porn, to date men who aren't into it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 I don't agree. How is it about insecurity? Maybe about lack of self-control, but insecurity? Look Meagan, I know where you are coming from. I used to be exactly like you until I left my slimeball ex. He used porn but also lied and cheated and did other horrible things so the idea of porn really became a turn-off and I was very insecure about it for a variety of reasons. Mostly it was because of him. The secrecy and deception helped to kill us as a couple. Now I am with someone who I fully trust. He also looks at porn but it's not an issue for me like it was... now 'porn' is merely something my bf sometimes watches in his alone time. We openly talk about it and I never come across to him as if I have an issue with it. Unless porn negatively impacts my relationship somehow I don't have a problem with it. One thing to remember is that you cannot fight it. You either date someone who doesn't watch it (and good luck finding this person and believing that he truly isn't into porn...) or you just go with the flow. Men watch it, that's life. Why fight something you have zero control over? And for those of you that say 'just talk to your man about it, let him know how it bothers you, if he loves you he will stop' ... whatever. Won't happen. I don't like porn for what it has done to society and for all the problems it has caused in men (yes, MEN, not to say there aren't any women with issues from it). It is too easily accessible, there is too much of it available to people of all ages, including our children, and so many men out there rely on it and stop giving a rats-arse about the flesh and blood female right before them. All those porn advocators know this is true. No, not everyone has this problem... some people can watch it from time to time (like me) and without it changing their sexual abilities and interest for their partner, but many cannot and it's very disturbing. Okay, but I feel like I have no control over my life if I am being forced to accept a man who looks at porn. If I don't want a man who likes that kind of stuff, I should be able to find one. But to hear that the majority of men look at it, and I am going to have to accept this makes me feel like I have no control over who I choose in a partner. I do not like this. It should be easy to find a man who is not into porn. I shouldn't have to deal with this if I don't want to. I don't want to be emotionally distressed. The only way I have control is unless I remain single. Link to post Share on other sites
sxyNYCcpl Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 You had to be TRAINED to think it's okay, though. Au, contraire mon friere. It is you that have been brainwashed into believing that your sexuality is supposed to be shoved into some little tiny box, where rules and regulations outnumber fun and frivolity. I'll pass on your rules. I guess I will be forced to remain single if I don't hop on this bandwagon of allowing my husband/boyfriend to look at porn and salivate over naked women Your husband, were he to exist, is not your subordinate, and it's not your place to "allow" or not "allow" him to do anything. If you truly want a man who never views porn, go find one. If you discover finding one is difficult, you may have to reassess your priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Talk about a smackdown, that would be one for the ages! Better yet, since Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon do a radio show on Sirius, how about them going breast to breast with two of the greatest porn stars in history on live radio If I were married to someone like Christy, I'd still look at porn, likely hers from the old days. Is it really cheating with porn if it's your partner on the screen? Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 shoved into some little tiny box.. Nothing wrong with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 Why? I don't see why a woman has good reason to be insecure. There's no interaction or even the slightest glimmer of opportunity for cheating, unless the man becomes obsessed with a porn star. If so, he's got worse issues... It shows that he is not happy with what he has at home. That's why. If I let myself go, became fat and ugly, then okay maybe I can understand. But if I bust my ass staying fit, keeping my hair and nails done and you still need to look at porn and pinups of other women than that is a problem, add that on top of cooking, cleaning, and being the best wife/parnter I can be...it's distressing and I cannot accept this. Link to post Share on other sites
Shock Me Sane Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 If you're willing to experiment sexually, have sex on a regular basis, and watch porn with your partner... I don't think there's any reason for your SO to be watching porn and whacking off behind your back. If you do all three of those things, I'm sure most men would be pretty satisfied. Plus, I don't know about men, but... are you really fantasizing about having sex with the other women specifically? Because I'm mostly just thinking about the penis going into the vagina or whatever when I watch porn... and not so much about the people. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Christy CanyonI wouldn't be bragging about this if I were her! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 On an aside note, did you people know that there is PREGNANT porn? Yes, thats right. Pregnant women doing porn. Good grief. I guess being paid for it is a way to overcome the lack of libido one has when ones belly and butt are sticking out a mile and you have sore boobs and are very tired. Maybe H and I should video something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 If you're willing to experiment sexually, have sex on a regular basis, and watch porn with your partner... I don't think there's any reason for your SO to be watching porn and whacking off behind your back. If you do all three of those things, I'm sure most men would be pretty satisfied. Plus, I don't know about men, but... are you really fantasizing about having sex with the other women specifically? Because I'm mostly just thinking about the penis going into the vagina or whatever when I watch porn... and not so much about the people. What if I don't want to do that? Then everything else i do becomes null and void? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Yup. Thats about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Shock Me Sane Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 What if I don't want to do that? Then everything else i do becomes null and void? What do you mean everything else you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 They do! lol And there's nothing wrong with that. but according to JS and MR, the world crumbles when a man looks at porn and gets off. Then he's also bisexual. And I do not want to be with a man who is bisexual and fantasizes about having sex with another man in a video Link to post Share on other sites
Jaytb Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 It shows that he is not happy with what he has at home. That's why. If I let myself go, became fat and ugly, then okay maybe I can understand. But if I bust my ass staying fit, keeping my hair and nails done and you still need to look at porn and pinups of other women than that is a problem, add that on top of cooking, cleaning, and being the best wife/parnter I can be...it's distressing and I cannot accept this. wrong. If I eat a hamburger from time to time, it doesn't mean I hate filet mignon. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I think she is saying that if a man looks at porn AT ALL then that de-validates her and her physical self and any physical activities she may participate in with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 What do you mean everything else you do? having sex with my partner, cooking cleaning, staying fit, bieng nice and perfect Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 You forgot to mention obsessive, controlling and insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 You forgot to mention obsessive, controlling and insecure. No, I'm not. And who wouldn't be insecure when discussing the issue of your s/o looking at naked women. I have good reason to be Link to post Share on other sites
sxyNYCcpl Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Okay, but I feel like I have no control over my life if I am being forced to accept a man who looks at porn. If I don't want a man who likes that kind of stuff, I should be able to find one. But to hear that the majority of men look at it, and I am going to have to accept this makes me feel like I have no control over who I choose in a partner. I do not like this. It should be easy to find a man who is not into porn. I shouldn't have to deal with this if I don't want to. I don't want to be emotionally distressed. The only way I have control is unless I remain single. I fixed your post for you. See below. Okay, but I feel like I have no control over my life if I am being forced to accept a woman who has a vagina. If I don't want a woman who has a hairy, smelly crack, I should be able to find one. But to hear that the majority of women have one, and I am going to have to accept this makes me feel like I have no control over who I choose in a partner. I do not like this. It should be easy to find a woman who does not have one. I shouldn't have to deal with this if I don't want to. I don't want to be emotionally distressed. The only way I have control is unless I remain single. Link to post Share on other sites
lizzylizliz Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I think she is saying that if a man looks at porn AT ALL then that de-validates her and her physical self and any physical activities she may participate in with him. I don't get that. I'm a 22 y/o girl, and I couldn't care less if a SO watches porn. It's up to them, it's their choice. I don't find it disrespectful at all, because it's not the same. My ex was kind, loving, and worshipped the ground I walked on. He had what was pretty much a porn addiction, even though we had a healthy sex life. It'd only bother me if it got in the way of that, really. I mean...seriously?? When I'm with guys, I have better things to pick fights with them than that. If they want to watch porn, that's fine....and likewise, they can't complain if I'm blatantly perving up Johnny Depp or whatever tasty piece of male I find Porn, cheating, and disloyalty are very different, keep it in mind! Link to post Share on other sites
sxyNYCcpl Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 And who wouldn't be insecure when discussing the issue of your s/o looking at naked women. A woman who is confident enough in her own self to realize that said naked women are not a threat to her relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 No, I'm not. And who wouldn't be insecure when discussing the issue of your s/o looking at naked women. I have good reason to beThat's because you don't believe you can keep your SO interested. No matter how "perfect" you want to believe you are, there will always be someone more "perfect" than you. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 No, I'm not. And who wouldn't be insecure when discussing the issue of your s/o looking at naked women. I have good reason to be Ummm OK. Okay, but I feel like I have no control over my life if I am being forced to accept a woman who has a vagina. If I don't want a woman who has a hairy, smelly crack, I should be able to find one. But to hear that the majority of women have one, and I am going to have to accept this makes me feel like I have no control over who I choose in a partner. I do not like this. It should be easy to find a woman who does not have one. I shouldn't have to deal with this if I don't want to. I don't want to be emotionally distressed. The only way I have control is unless I remain single. :laugh: Lizzy- I don't get it either, was just helping to OP out in getting her point across. That's because you don't believe you can keep your SO interested. No matter how "perfect" you want to believe you are, there will always be someone more "perfect" than you. And THAT my dear MR, IS insecurity. The root (pardon the pun) of all your problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 I don't get that. I'm a 22 y/o girl, and I couldn't care less if a SO watches porn. It's up to them, it's their choice. I don't find it disrespectful at all, because it's not the same. My ex was kind, loving, and worshipped the ground I walked on. He had what was pretty much a porn addiction, even though we had a healthy sex life. It'd only bother me if it got in the way of that, really. I mean...seriously?? When I'm with guys, I have better things to pick fights with them than that. If they want to watch porn, that's fine....and likewise, they can't complain if I'm blatantly perving up Johnny Depp or whatever tasty piece of male I find Porn, cheating, and disloyalty are very different, keep it in mind! It is your choice to not be bothered by it. But what about women who are bothered by it and don't find it acceptable? I shouldn't be forced to think its okay just because women like you are fine with it Link to post Share on other sites
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