Apart and shaken

[lupa]

I hate lawyers. Lawyers and accountants, but mostly lawyers.

 

Mine got a continuance on the spousal support court hearing, extending it out 30 days, and then said, "but I'd like to have it settled before that."

 

This, of course, is after he told me we'd have our counter-offer done by last friday...and he was asking me still preliminary questions on the phone yesterday. I should have been a lawyer so I could be a leech on society and charge $175/hr. What a freaking crock.

 

I still am just baffled why my wife just can't be an adult about this, open up a line of communication, and negotiate directly with me, instead of involving these freaking pit vipers.

 

Grrr.

 

I want this to be over so that I can continue on with my new life.

 

...yes, I'm considering paying her more than she deserves to get the f*ck out of my world. It makes me sick to my stomach, but you guys might be right (chrome I think?) saying it would be worth to be done with her.

 

This was the same woman, of course, that I was about to start a business for just 6 months ago, and she was looking at locations where she could add a "baby room" in the back for the potential kids to sleep in while she was at work.

 

I just feel stunned in my tracks whenever I think of stuff like that.

 

 

Also -- I need to keep my mouth shut with the girlfriend after something happens with my wife or lawyers...it just stresses me out, and talking about it relieves the stress. But talking about it stresses her out, too. She just wants me to be over it. I can understand her position, but at the same time she needs to have patience for when this happens.

 

Not a big deal, we moved on and actually had a great time after that, but I need some kind of way to get the frustration out that doesn't include her.

 

Thoughts?

[MrMayI]

the gf really sounds great. seems to me your stress becomes "her" stress, and she maybe gets tense because she knows she can't help you with it. i agree with chrome. you'll be rid of the stbx very soon, and if it cost you more, it's just going to have to. you understand the world of lawyers now, and know that the more you want to fight the ex, the fatter both lawyers' pockets will get.

seems to me that your stbx is in shock from all of this, and if she's anything like my ex, will take to her grave the regrets she's feeling. she made her bed.

i don't really have many thoughts on it. i actually had a great lawyer, because he's also a friend, and would've fought til the bitter end for the things he felt i deserved, for nothing.

[phineas]

Lupa - i'd sell the house because it's haunted. The ghosts of your past life with your wife manifest everywhere.

 

Just sell it & get a place you can make your own.

 

I had my house before her & decorated with her help.

Now i'm changing that.

Moving furniture, pictures, re-painting ect.

I'm taking it back & making it mine again.

People come over & go "wow", this looks awsome.

[delajoonal]

lupa..

 

sorry to hear your stbx is giving you so much grief...

i KNOW the feeling...well, you know that already..

 

weirder...since i got an attorney, my H has been a GEM...nice as can be...wtf?

and even weirder, HE hasn't even been served by MY attorney yet...so now that i have put up with nearly 7 months of harassment, terrorizing and marathon abusive texts and calls, emails you name it...

its like H ran out of juice or something...and all when i spend my lifes savings to make IT all end...he stops without even being served by my attorney yet..LOL

 

nice...right..at a whopping $375 PER HOUR! OH and let us NOT forget the retainer of 5K...OMG help me..HELPS US ALL!

 

and now i feel the same as u..i just want IT ALL to be over...

 

but yet i haven't been able to stop crying since i pretty much, i hired my lawyer...

 

and, lupa, you might be a good one to ask this???

 

did you have pangs of guilt when you got your attorney??

 

i mean i know your stbx is asking WAYYY TOO MUCH....

and you really needed the legal help, etc...

 

but did you have a point like this...

 

i felt like i was acting like a spoiled brat and possibly even a bully by getting an attorney...

 

i KNOW most of you that know me i sitting there stund, because you all know what my H has done to me...in ALL aspects...so how in the world can i feel this way????

 

lupa..did you?????

 

we are kinda the same...

the spouses decided the grass was greener with an online EA ,etc etc....

 

only thing.. YOU GOT a new gf....

 

i got ...ummm...new shoes....LOL

 

luv an hugs always...

dela;)

[Gunny376]

Your stressing over things that aren't worth stressing over.

 

Its the STBXW's dumb@zz that is making short term decisions with long term decisions?

 

She's selling out for pennies on the dollar compared to what she would have had if she had just hung in like a kitten on a screen door?

 

Your still very young comparatively speaking? You work for a successful "green' business that has great potential for unlimited growth? ( I know this because I work in a lab, where water treatment and air quality at the plant are major issues because of the EPA, the State etc. The "Feds" are all over us like a pack of dogs on a sick legged cat.

 

Your income potential will rise exponentially with each and passing year.

 

Even though we're a fully functional and self supporting/ contained on-site lad? We still pay BIG bugs for independent outside confirmation/consultation/ calibration regarding air, water, and soil analysis.

 

Don't rush this thing? And don't get the quality legal defense that your paying for.

 

Take your time and do it right.

 

Not doing so? Could cost you more over the course of the years.

 

You have no doubt hired a quality divorce attorney, who has years of experience in such matters.

 

Remember, his (or her feet) are not being held to the fire not only by your expectations? But by the State Bar Association. Should it be found that he/she hasn't given you 110% by their standards? He could be dis-barred and lose their license to practice law. (And it happens all the time! IOW's? They don't play!

 

They cannot afford to! Because it only takes one bad apple to make the whole barrel look bad.

 

Lawyers run a business, and as you know its cost money to run a business.

 

I've a step brother who is a real estate attorney. His overhead for clerks, receptionist, para-legals, lights, and one associate attorney is $45,000 a month before he himself draws a single dime. (And he's got his wife and daughter working for him)

 

If he asked for a continuence?

 

It was in your own best interests to do so.

 

BTW? (And I know this for a fact) he's in the office by six, and its a good day if he can get home to catch the ten o'clock news? He's on call 24/7/365.

[LisaUk]

Hi Lupa

 

Things seem like they are going well with the GF?

 

The lawyer fees per hour made me chuckle, I just started law school this week and let me tell ya, THEY HAVE EARNT EVERY PENNY in the qualifying alone, I feel like the walking dead and it's day 6! LOL This week (5 days) I have read 7 law books, 15 Acts of parliment, 7 appeal cases, a law libary task that took 2 and a half hours to find one Satutory Instrument, had training on Lexis and westlaw databases, a presentation done for Monday morning, 5 lectures, two seminars, a court report oh and an exam that I failed! Trust me, they earned their money and still do, the law changes like every 15 mins, they have to keep on top of it, what you see as the client is the tip of the ice-berg so far as the work they do for you goes. OK, rant over! LOL

 

Try not to let thoughts of the ex get you down, like you said she runs from conflict rather than deals with it!

[trippi1432]

*Shaking Head*....man, lawyers do make out good....so glad I have a prenup. Mine is still going to cost me, $250 consultation, $1500 retainer and $2000 more if anything goes to litigation...not planning on that due to the prenup....I do get to keep my azzzz tho.

[LisaUk]

*Shaking Head*....man, lawyers do make out good....so glad I have a prenup. Mine is still going to cost me, $250 consultation, $1500 retainer and $2000 more if anything goes to litigation...not planning on that due to the prenup....I do get to keep my azzzz tho.

 

OK, the lawyers are getting a bad rep on this board! LOL

 

Don't know about the US but this is how it goes here, a solicitor fees goes like this, they get no funded pension, they have to belong to the professional body to be licensed every year that costs a bomb and they have to take out client insurance and mal practice insurance in case they miss something unwittingly and get repremanded for it, ending up paying all tribunal costs and damages as a result, that costs a ton too.

 

Out of the £120 an hour they also have to pay rent on premises, legal secetary wages, admin costs, subscription to Westlaw and Lexis and Law review weekly journal etc. So by the time you subtract all of that a solicitor on average in an average medium firm (so all your divorce lawyers) earns £60,000 a year at the top end of their scale, they work 50-60 hours a week.

 

Now, if your talking about commercial lawyers in the city they earn £37,000 starting on training contract (not qualified) alone and first year qualified £90,000 a year, but bear in mind they are also on call from the multinational firm clients 24 hours a day. Being woken at 3 am to go over a clause in a contract is a regular occurance and they also do an average of 70 hours a week. Not my idea of fun!

 

Right LECTURE over! LOL Had to stick up for myself there, apologies to those I bored to death.

[trippi1432]

OK, the lawyers are getting a bad rep on this board! LOL

 

 

LOL!!

Spoken like the true great lawyer you are destined to become! You Go Girl!!

[tojaz]

You tell'em Lis, although Lawyer seems like a pretty cushy job over here.

[LisaUk]

You tell'em Lis, although Lawyer seems like a pretty cushy job over here.

 

Why's that? Is your legal system not based on precedent?

[tojaz]

Why's that? Is your legal system not based on precedent?

 

I don't think that has anything to do with it, just here they get paid an awful lot for doung a lot less.

[LisaUk]

I don't think that has anything to do with it, just here they get paid an awful lot for doung a lot less.

 

Ok, just wondered as if it's on precedent like here the work the client sees is nothing comparded to the work that goes on behind the scenes. Don't know about there though.

[trippi1432]

Let's just put it this way, I hired a lawyer to sue a car manufacturer.....he got 48% of the settlement and I did most of the work since I kept detailed files to make his case...we never actually went to litigation although I was more than willing. I refused their first offer and they counter with doubling the first offer. That offer was more than what I actually paid for what I was suing for so I settled...he still got 48% for writing a few letters and making some phone calls. I'm his favorite client and he takes me to lunch occasionally.

 

Not sure if based on precedent, but the company I work for pays out more for legal fees each year than it does its own employees.

[delajoonal]

oh, i may complain about the money IT cost me for my divorce attorney...but that is as far is IT goes..complaining about the amount i no longer have in my savings account...

 

because as far as im concerned, MY attorney was worth EVERY PENNY!

 

no more stress, he is amazing, fast and whamo! paper work i could NEVER have understood or gotten done or filed or served to my H...it was DONE AND DONE!

 

thank you Lord for my attorney:love:...he is a Gem!

 

p.s. lisa...you are a gem too...you go get `em girl!!!

 

p.s. they do get paid alot.i mean nearly 400 per hour...BUT think of all the years of school, the paralegals, the overhead, soooooooooooooooooo much paperwork to be done...its monotonous, redundant, repetative...ack!

its ALOT of work..

again...thank you for MY attorney..AMEN!

[Gunny376]

American law is based upon "Old English Law" legislative law, and case law (what you I believe your referring to as 'precedent' law.

 

This is further complicated by the appeals courts, at the state, federal district and ultimately individual State and United States Supreme Court level.

 

That is to say, that a case can be appealed through each individual State appeal and Supreme Court, and then through the Federal Appeal and Supreme Court.

 

The one exception is Louisiana whose "common law" is not based upon "Old English Law" but the Napoleonic Code. Other than that? Once past the state level, the Federal Code kicks in.

 

Which is why it takes so long to execute someone for murder. (Except in the State of Texas, where if you murder someone in front of two or more witnesses? You go to the front of the line?

 

Based upon Texas case law? You use to be found innocent of "justifiable homicide" if you found your spouse cheating on you? In so long as you killed both the spouse and their lover.

 

If you just killed one or the other then it was murder?

 

In the state of North Carolina, its against the law to plow a cotton field with an elephant? (Read a book about "Blue Laws" that are still on the books.)

 

In Alabama you can be arrested in some cities and towns for spitting on the sidewalk. (Legally anyway ~ you would have to know about Rednecks and chewing tobacco.

 

An on-going legal battle that is to this day raging in Alabama, (just read about it in today's newspapers) is over "vibrators" and other "sex toys". Its not against the law to own them? In so long as they are for "medical or law enforcement" purposes?

 

Its against the law to sell them.

[delajoonal]

hey Gunny...

 

how you been?

haven't seen you on the board much lately....

good to see you;)

 

i have heard of that book, about ALL the laws of our country state by state, county by county...and there are some real doozies too...

 

like the one, not sure where, but a woman can't where a watch out in public after 6pm..LOL

 

so many...gosh, i gotta find that book now..its gonna drive me nuts..

:bunny:

[delajoonal]

ok, found some blue law books on that big auction site..not sure if we are allowed to name IT..

 

anyway, each book is state by state...so it would be fun to each get our own state and post some funny laws every now and then for a laugh on the board...

although i am NOT so sure the TRUE TRUE christians would find the laws funny, seeing that is what they are based on...but i am sure they were sooooo long ago..we could get a chuckle..i believe in christian ways..i am SURE i won't find any of them offensive..just a few chuckles at how much our lands have changed with time.

[Gunny376]

hey Gunny...

 

how you been?

haven't seen you on the board much lately....

good to see you;)

 

i have heard of that book, about ALL the laws of our country state by state, county by county...and there are some real doozies too...

 

like the one, not sure where, but a woman can't where a watch out in public after 6pm..LOL

 

so many...gosh, i gotta find that book now..its gonna drive me nuts..

:bunny:

 

Supposedly?

 

In Texas if your found guilty of reading a public library book and then rolling over to have sex with your lawful wedded spouse?

 

Your public library privileges can be suspended for Life! :laugh:r

[delajoonal]

Supposedly?

In Texas if your found guilty of reading a public library book and then rolling over to have sex with your lawful wedded spouse?

Your public library privileges can be suspended for Life! :laugh:r

 

 

OMG! THAT is ridiculous...

 

Texas, i have the feeling, might have the BIGGEST DOOZIES of them all...LOL...

[Gunny376]

hey Gunny...

 

how you been?

haven't seen you on the board much lately....

good to see you;)

 

i have heard of that book, about ALL the laws of our country state by state, county by county...and there are some real doozies too...

 

like the one, not sure where, but a woman can't where a watch out in public after 6pm..LOL

 

so many...gosh, i gotta find that book now..its gonna drive me nuts..

:bunny:

 

How can I say this?

 

I'm pass the self validatiion state?

 

I'm past needing to be with someone?

 

Just to be with someone!

 

Its been one Hell of a Mother?

 

But I've come to accept myself for who and what I am!

 

Self Awarness!

 

Self acceptance!

 

I am what I am!

 

And all that I'm ever going to be!

 

I am what I am!

 

And that's all I'm ever going to be!

 

A Marine, a man, a Marine Gunnery Sergeant isn't the complete sumn total of who and what I am? Its a part of whom I am.

 

Just like your being a wife, a mother, aren't the sum parts of you! They're the component parts of the sum parts of who you are!

 

 

 

Be YOU!

 

 

THAT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE!

[trippi1432]

Here's a dumb NC law in one of it's largest cities...I didn't know this one:

 

Charlotte, NC:

Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

 

This one for NJ is hilarious:

 

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

 

And stay out of Elizabeth, NJ:

 

It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.

 

I think someone needs to go back and update that law...where the heck do you even buy a petticoat in the 21st century????

[LisaUk]

American law is based upon "Old English Law" legislative law, and case law (what you I believe your referring to as 'precedent' law.

 

This is further complicated by the appeals courts, at the state, federal district and ultimately individual State and United States Supreme Court level.

 

That is to say, that a case can be appealed through each individual State appeal and Supreme Court, and then through the Federal Appeal and Supreme Court.

 

The one exception is Louisiana whose "common law" is not based upon "Old English Law" but the Napoleonic Code. Other than that? Once past the state level, the Federal Code kicks in.

 

Which is why it takes so long to execute someone for murder. (Except in the State of Texas, where if you murder someone in front of two or more witnesses? You go to the front of the line?

 

Based upon Texas case law? You use to be found innocent of "justifiable homicide" if you found your spouse cheating on you? In so long as you killed both the spouse and their lover.

 

If you just killed one or the other then it was murder?

 

In the state of North Carolina, its against the law to plow a cotton field with an elephant? (Read a book about "Blue Laws" that are still on the books.)

 

In Alabama you can be arrested in some cities and towns for spitting on the sidewalk. (Legally anyway ~ you would have to know about Rednecks and chewing tobacco.

 

An on-going legal battle that is to this day raging in Alabama, (just read about it in today's newspapers) is over "vibrators" and other "sex toys". Its not against the law to own them? In so long as they are for "medical or law enforcement" purposes?

 

Its against the law to sell them.

 

Hi Gunny

 

Nice to see you, haven't seen you in a while?

 

Here's a recent mess from the UK

It is currently LEGAL to sell dvd's containing excessive violent or pornographic content to minors (under 18), b/c someone in parliment screwed up in 1988 and didn't pass the statute through the final procedure for it to reach enactment!

 

Here's an old one that I THINK still exists

If you stand on a piece of land at it's central point and say the Lord's prayer backwards you now legally OWN that piece of land! (ALthough in Land law here, no one technically owns land even when you own freehold, b/c it is owned by the monarch.

 

There's tons of them, I'll post them up as and when they appear on my course!

[tojaz]

Based upon Texas case law? You use to be found innocent of "justifiable homicide" if you found your spouse cheating on you? In so long as you killed both the spouse and their lover.

 

If you just killed one or the other then it was murder?

 

I LIKE THIS LAW!!!

 

An on-going legal battle that is to this day raging in Alabama, (just read about it in today's newspapers) is over "vibrators" and other "sex toys". Its not against the law to own them? In so long as they are for "medical or law enforcement" purposes?

 

Can someone please explain the proper Law Enforcement use of a vibrator in as little detail as possible??

 

 

[LisaUk]

I'd love to know to, I can't find it, all I can find is a reference to section 12 of something?????????

It's probably a reference intended in the abstarct to mean if another common law depends through the ratio that they be allowed to buy one in those circumstances, they are covering themselves? but it makes it sound like they need it for use by cops!

If anyone knows can they let me know, I am doing a presentation on paternity fraud tomorrow, want to find a way to bring this case in! Will be a laugh!