sb129 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I can totally see Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson hitting that. You'd definitely get laid if there were 1000+ guests to choose from. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 You guys need to quantify your theory. You can't say there is a direct correlation between a huge wedding and divorce if you won't define "huge". Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 You'd definitely get laid if there were 1000+ guests to choose from. Maybe even more than once. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 OMG, that''s so crazy. But ok, there ARE exceptions to the rule..but very few I think. I'm serious. How do you know they're not really miserable behind closed doors?Anything's possible, just like it's possible that small wedding guest number couples, are miserable behind closed doors. From what I experienced with them, they appear to be pretty happy, albeit some go through rough times but get through it and the good times, trump the bad times by far. One things for certain. My parents are "the" most compatible and happy couple I've ever seen. They had over 700 guests. My grandparents had over 300 guests. They're still happily married. My grandfather adored my favourite, deceased grandmother. We all miss her dearly. If she hadn't passed away, their marriage would be comparable to my parents, in happiness and compatibility. They had over 500 guests. Judging by numbers, makes no sense to me. Judging by compatibility of goals, does. Where numbers might have impact, is if a couple starts their marriage with massive debt from the wedding. Trying to dig yourself out, especially if it's going to take you a decade, doesn't make for a good start. Financial woes can and does, kill marriages. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I gotcha. BTW: I don't think 1 carat is HUGE either, not by a long shot. I kind of suspected you didn't! But hey, what does it really matter right? My point is that huge means different things to different people (that sounds a little dirty..lol) I didn't want a huge ring as I have small hands and so opted for the one carat main stone...that being a nice-sized ring but not huge to my mind. To me, a tiny wedding is less than 20, a modest wedding is less than 75. A normal wedding is around 125-150, and a "huge" wedding is like 180+. I can't really factor in cost, because I figure I'll have a set overall budget, and then make it fit the number of guests. So if I have a tiny wedding, it'll probably still be on the pricier side for a tiny wedding, because it will probably be abroad. If you want to pin me to a definition then I'd have to agree with your numbers more or less. Yeah, cost is harder to define. I guess for my tiny wedding it was pricey (the first one.) The second time was very reasonable and WAY more fun and less formal....which I have to say characterizes the differences between the two actual marriages come to think of it. Maybe the wedding itself foreshadows the marriage to an extent...hmmmm. My theory is fleshing itself out. Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolat Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Ok, I can't speak for Touche and this is originally her theory, but from my perspective, what the theory amounts to is that some people are more concerned about the wedding than the marriage. Not to say that there are not men who enter marriage for the wrong reason, but you rarely hear about a man who has planned out wedding details since he was a little boy and is now determined to bring them to fruition, all objections be damned. Some women seem to get so caught up in planning the details of the wedding that, well... you wonder whether they are going to invest as much energy into the marriage. The notion of a day that is "all about us" or the need to be "queen" for a day also speaks to a certain maturity level. Obviously there are folks who had small weddings and disastrous marriages and others who had large weddings and wonderful marriages. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Maybe the wedding itself foreshadows the marriage to an extent...hmmmm. My theory is fleshing itself out. This I will go with. Fun wedding = Long marriage and Beat wedding = Beat marriage Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I think it's also reliant on the size of your families and social networks. Large families and number of friends, equates to large numbers. Just make sure that whatever you do, you can afford to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Anything's possible, just like it's possible that small wedding guest number couples, are miserable behind closed doors. From what I experienced with them, they appear to be pretty happy, albeit some go through rough times but get through it and the good times, trump the bad times by far. One things for certain. My parents are "the" most compatible and happy couple I've ever seen. They had over 700 guests. My grandparents had over 300 guests. They're still happily married. My grandfather adored my favourite, deceased grandmother. We all miss her dearly. If she hadn't passed away, their marriage would be comparable to my parents, in happiness and compatibility. They had over 500 guests. Judging by numbers, makes no sense to me. Judging by compatibility of goals, does. Where numbers might have impact, is if a couple starts their marriage with massive debt from the wedding. Trying to dig yourself out, especially if it's going to take you a decade, doesn't make for a good start. Financial woes can and does, kill marriages. You're taking this too seriously. You're saying nothing in the last paragraph that I dont agree with...all things I've said myself a million times as you know. It may not make sense to you but it does to me in some weird supersticious kind of way. (Oh be sure your wedding this time is smaller than the last one! ahaha) That's great about your family and their big weddings but I still stand by my theory...of course there will be exceptions. Like I said, I think there's something to it. I really do. Our gut feelings on things aren't always logical but I still mostly trust my gut feelings. No, SB...the couple has to quantify what's HUGE. I explained that part already! Chocolat, you crack me up! We should write this guide. I'm still formulating the theory though. Yeah, LB really threw a wrench in there didn't she? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Ok, I can't speak for Touche and this is originally her theory, but from my perspective, what the theory amounts to is that some people are more concerned about the wedding than the marriage. Not to say that there are not men who enter marriage for the wrong reason, but you rarely hear about a man who has planned out wedding details since he was a little boy and is now determined to bring them to fruition, all objections be damned. Some women seem to get so caught up in planning the details of the wedding that, well... you wonder whether they are going to invest as much energy into the marriage. The notion of a day that is "all about us" or the need to be "queen" for a day also speaks to a certain maturity level. Obviously there are folks who had small weddings and disastrous marriages and others who had large weddings and wonderful marriages. Agreed. I haven't been married long enough to be able to prove or disprove the theory, but our wedding planning wasn't the primary focus of our lives at the time. Too many other things to think about in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 You're taking this too seriously. You're saying nothing in the last paragraph that I dont agree with...all things I've said myself a million times as you know. It may not make sense to you but it does to me in some weird supersticious kind of way. (Oh be sure your wedding this time is smaller than the last one! ahaha)This one will be bigger than the last one and would have been even larger, if we didn't shut down the Momzillas! My Dad continues to thank me for keeping Mom out of his hair. She's been so concerned about him so the wedding has been the perfect distraction. It's also been a great way for the two mothers to bond. Overall, it's worked out well. One funny thing I will mention, is that our wedding planner fired herself! The Momzillas drove her to it! That's great about your family and their big weddings but I still stand by my theory...of course there will be exceptions. Like I said, I think there's something to it. I really do. Our gut feelings on things aren't always logical but I still mostly trust my gut feelings.Based on your numbers, all my family have "large" weddings! We're a large family who marry people with large families! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Ok, I can't speak for Touche and this is originally her theory, but from my perspective, what the theory amounts to is that some people are more concerned about the wedding than the marriage. Not to say that there are not men who enter marriage for the wrong reason, but you rarely hear about a man who has planned out wedding details since he was a little boy and is now determined to bring them to fruition, all objections be damned. Some women seem to get so caught up in planning the details of the wedding that, well... you wonder whether they are going to invest as much energy into the marriage. The notion of a day that is "all about us" or the need to be "queen" for a day also speaks to a certain maturity level. Obviously there are folks who had small weddings and disastrous marriages and others who had large weddings and wonderful marriages. I missed this before. Yes, this is absolutely part of it. You get it. This I will go with. Fun wedding = Long marriage and Beat wedding = Beat marriage I swear it's true. My first was formal, stiff and I was uptight and stressed. The second was the exact opposite as opposite gets. Day and night...as are the marriages. Yep. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Wedding number one: big church do, big dress, vintage cars, big reception, paid for by parents. Marriage lasted 8 months. Wedding number two: just us on a beach. That was 13 years ago and we're still together It's the marriage that matters, not the wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 This one will be bigger than the last one and would have been even larger, if we didn't shut down the Momzillas! Yikes! My Dad continues to thank me for keeping Mom out of his hair. She's been so concerned about him so the wedding has been the perfect distraction. It's also been a great way for the two mothers to bond. Overall, it's worked out well. Well that's certainly a good outcome. One funny thing I will mention, is that our wedding planner fired herself! The Momzillas drove her to it! Wow, they must be particularly bad! Based on your numbers, all my family have "large" weddings! We're a large family who marry people with large families! So maybe the theory should be changed to not include family in the mix? I don't know...still working on that. But let me ask you...do you ever get together with all this family at any other times other than weddings or funerals? Hahaha, Anne. Love it! Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 To use an example: LB said her ring was HUGE. Ok, so I'm picturing a HUGE ring in my mind. Turns out the ring is one carat. To her that's HUGE. To me, it's not. (Oh and before everyone goes jumping down my throat, I opted for a one carat marquis with two baguettes on either side...NOT GENUINE. So I could have gotten ANY size.) So while I think one carat is a very nice size (the very size I chose) by no means would I have described my ring to anyone as HUGE and can be seen across a room..unless it's a teeny, room maybe. Maybe in a walk in closet? LOL Ok, so see why I won't say? The couple in question has to decide if it's a "huge" wedding or not. And if it is, then I'd seriously re-think it. I'm not kidding...whether they can afford it or not. Ugh, don't bring me into this please. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Oh another comment, actually the reason I think it looks huge is because it does. I have extremely small hands and fingers so it looks like this huge rock sitting on my finger. BUT to each his own. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Ugh, don't bring me into this please. What the? I was just using that as an example and why I won't say what I consider a "huge" wedding. What was so wrong with that? I sure meant no offense. The fact of the matter is is that most people wouldn't consider the size ring you have (and I have) to be HUGE. Sorry. Didn't mean to burst any bubbles here. Sheesh...next time I'll use a different example, ok? Feel better now? Are you ok? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 My diamond is only half a carat but I have small hands too so it looks just right on me. And seeing as I had never owned a diamond before, it was huge at first while I got used to it! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Yikes! It would have been at least 20 - 30% larger, if we hadn't capped it. Wow, they must be particularly bad! You have no idea how bad they can get. They enable each other! Every...single...day, my inbox is bombarded with emails from both of them. My normal response is..."NO"!! So maybe the theory should be changed to not include family in the mix? I don't know...still working on that. But let me ask you...do you ever get together with all this family at any other times other than weddings or funerals? The two moms are the ones with the family lists, so we let them go to it. It's true that we don't always see everyone, on a consistent basis, since not all live in town. Of the family who live in town, yes, we do get together sometimes, but mostly not all at once. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Oh another comment, actually the reason I think it looks huge is because it does. I have extremely small hands and fingers so it looks like this huge rock sitting on my finger. BUT to each his own. I know. People always think mine is bigger than one carat. It's all relative. A one carat does look large on a small hand...but HUGE, well I wouldn't go that far. But that's just me. Maybe you have smaller hands...i dunno. I just never thought people could see my ring from across a room no matter how small my hands are. oh and P.S. I would never want a ring that was that ostentatious anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted June 5, 2009 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 ...some people are more concerned about the wedding than the marriage. I agree, but like you said, it's mostly the brides who control the wedding details. The grooms are happy to stay out of it and just show up in a fancy outfit. Seeing as that's true, if a big wedding means the marriage is doomed, are you both suggesting it's the bride's fault? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 OMG, I see cat fights written all over this thread now! Ok, everyone's ring is HUGE and all people who have HUGE weddings will stay married forever until the end of time! Happy now? OH and your men are all HUGE too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted June 5, 2009 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 I think it's also reliant on the size of your families and social networks. Large families and number of friends, equates to large numbers. Just make sure that whatever you do, you can afford to do it. I know, that's what I don't understand about the "theory." Some families are HUGE, some are teeny tiny. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I agree, but like you said, it's mostly the brides who control the wedding details. The grooms are happy to stay out of it and just show up in a fancy outfit. Seeing as that's true, if a big wedding means the marriage is doomed, are you both suggesting it's the bride's fault? You're pre-supposing that most grooms are happy to "stay out of it", as you say. I beg to differ. If they're given the chance, they LOVE being made part of the decision making process in planning what is also THEIR wedding. so yeah...I blame the bride. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted June 5, 2009 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 Ugh, don't bring me into this please. You're not being brought in, LB. You were already here. Touche was merely using the example of "huge" being relative, and I totally understand what she's getting at. To you, your ring is huge. I have small hands too, and do not consider one carat huge. My BF's brother's fiance has TEENY hands, and her ring (the main rock anyway) is 1.64 carats, and she doesn't think that is huge either. It's all relative. My diamond is only half a carat but I have small hands too so it looks just right on me. Really? I thought it was much bigger! oh and P.S. I would never want a ring that was that ostentatious anyway. I would! Just kidding... Link to post Share on other sites
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