Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Hahaha! I just saw this. Why am I not surprised? Very interesting. Oh and nope...one or two or 3 or 4..not much difference really. The concept is the same. She was THERE for you. Whether you had 6 other siblings or NO siblings. This is rich. Why would this be rich? I didn't know that people could multiply themselves to be physically present for 4 children at all times. Doesn't it take constant exposure and accessibility? There were times where my mother wasn't available since she was busy with my other sib(s). This is no different than being at work and getting a call from school and leaving right away. I didn't go to school close by. Had to be driven there.
Dumbledore Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Multitasking is the key to great parenting.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Hmm...I see Junior throwing a fit for mommy if you are in the house and say to him "No mommy needs to work. Go be with Nanny". If Junior is with me, I'll address it. If Junior is with nanny, she'll address it. Again, you have zero concept of what makes me a GREAT mother. None. Zip, nada. You have NO idea what I think makes a great mother. You are right however that our concepts are probably very different. HINT: An absent mother, whether at home or not, is still an absent mother. No? So everything you've posted isn't your opinion? HINT: That means you fall in the same category, when hiding out or doing something domestic that's not with your son.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Multitasking is the key to great parenting. Like a mother or father who's working and still being a great parent? How true!
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Hmm...I see Junior throwing a fit for mommy if you are in the house and say to him "No mommy needs to work. Go be with Nanny". Yep. That's the point I just made. See here's the thing...I know what this is about. It's ego. And it's a fear of being "dependent" on a man. God forbid that you actually hook up with a man where you're equal partners. And being "equal" isn't dependent on income. To some women it is though. And that's not right. It speaks of certain insecurities if you ask me. I'm perfectly comfortable with either role. I can bring home the bacon. And I can fry it up too. And I can also choose to just have my partner bring it home and let me fry it up. The key is that you have to have total confidence in your partner. Total confidence in the fact that raising children and running a home is a SHARED thing. You have to know that your mate thinks the same way. And equality isn't all about income. So many people don't get that fact. Oh and gender has zero to do with it. It's about a partnership.
amaysngrace Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I am not a fan of daycare either, although I know that the ones around where I live don't let you send your kid there if they are sick, if the kids turns up sick they make you come pick them up. Maybe but all it takes is a sob story and next month's tuition and I'm sure some stay. I've seen them there. In public schools too. I have been room mom for years and I've seen children at school who should have been home in bed.
Dumbledore Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I didn't know that people could multiply themselves to be physically present for 4 children It's called multitasking.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I should explain some of my requirements to be a GREAT mother, such as being a good example of morality, integrity and honesty. It also needs someone who provides a safe, loving and non-volatile/over-reactive parent, to provide a secure and consistent home life. Rational behaviour is key. So are trust and respect.
sb129 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I am not a fan of daycare either, although I know that the ones around where I live don't let you send your kid there if they are sick, if the kids turns up sick they make you come pick them up.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 It's called multitasking. Do you mean 7 miles away at one school, when another child needs you at the other school?
Dumbledore Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Do you mean 7 miles away at one school, when another child needs you at the other school? It's called multitasking and prioritisation.
amaysngrace Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Do you mean 7 miles away at one school, when another child needs you at the other school? Why would both of your children need you at the exact same time and it was something that the school couldn't handle? Please give an example. I have never had this happen and my children have been in different schools at the same time.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 It's called multitasking and prioritisation. Just like someone at work, who gets a call from school, so you leave right away....
Dumbledore Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Why would both of your children need you at the exact same time and it was something that the school couldn't handle? Please give an example. I have never had this happen and my children have been in different schools at the same time. There is no substitute for experience. Like you say, there are people on this thread who are completely out of their depth.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Why would both of your children need you at the exact same time and it was something that the school couldn't handle? Please give an example. I have never had this happen and my children have been in different schools at the same time. Have you never had events on the same day, especially around special occasions or field trips? Do you ever have conflicting sports events for the kids?
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 If Junior is with me, I'll address it. If Junior is with nanny, she'll address it. No? So everything you've posted isn't your opinion? Huh? HINT: That means you fall in the same category, when hiding out or doing something domestic that's not with your son. What the? I "hide out" when he's usually in bed or about to be. He does have a dad who is also very hands on too you know. Plus I spend way more time with him than a working mom does. So yep, I'm entitled to my "hiding out" time. If Junior is with me, I'll address it. If Junior is with nanny, she'll address it. And you feel good about that? Wow. Really? What if it's something really important? I can't understand that. The times we have to impart our values are not always there. You won't know that until you have a child of your own but it's the truth. The times we have to really bond are not always there. It's ok with you that "nanny" might bond with "Junior" in a way that you never can? this quote: If Junior is with me, I'll address it. If Junior is with nanny, she'll address it. well this quote is fine if you're talking about who is going to do Junior's laundry...but anything beyond that is just sad. So let me get this straight... if Junior comes home broken-hearted over something that happened at school and needs to talk, it matters not whether you deal with it or whether the nanny deals with it? It's all the same to you? Do you think it's the same to him? Talk about a "warm body."
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 There is no substitute for experience. Like you say, there are people on this thread who are completely out of their depth. Like you, who've probably never taken care of a child in their lives?
sb129 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I am not a fan of daycare either, although I know that the ones around where I live don't let you send your kid there if they are sick, if the kids turns up sick they make you come pick them up. OOPs sorry multipost. I am going to bow out of this discussion now, as as it stands, I am not a parent, and its hard to be 100% certain of anything, despite our plans and thoughts at present. I might rejoin it this time next year and see how I feel about some of the issues then.
Dumbledore Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Like you, who've probably never taken care of a child in their lives? I'm not professing to be an egotistical know-it-all.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 What the? I "hide out" when he's usually in bed or about to be. He does have a dad who is also very hands on too you know. Plus I spend way more time with him than a working mom does. So yep, I'm entitled to my "hiding out" time. Not always. I know this for fact. And you feel good about that? Wow. Really? What if it's something really important? I can't understand that. The times we have to impart our values are not always there. You won't know that until you have a child of your own but it's the truth. The times we have to really bond are not always there. It's ok with you that "nanny" might bond with "Junior" in a way that you never can? this quote: well this quote is fine if you're talking about who is going to do Junior's laundry...but anything beyond that is just sad. So let me get this straight... if Junior comes home broken-hearted over something that happened at school and needs to talk, it matters not whether you deal with it or whether the nanny deals with it? It's all the same to you? Do you think it's the same to him? Talk about a "warm body." Once again, you're blowing this out of proportion and going to extremes. The example amasyn gave was very different from the one you're giving. For myself, I'll be working but at home. For mothers AND fathers who work outside of the home, there's always the telephone or nanny cam. Once again, your taking things to extreme.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I'm not professing to be an egotistical know-it-all. Yes, you're providing opinions and responses, the same way that I and others on this thread are. Hold yourself to the same standard. Apparently you hold yourself in a different realm...
amaysngrace Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Have you never had events on the same day, especially around special occasions or field trips? Do you ever have conflicting sports events for the kids? Oh those things. Yes. I've missed parties for one because I was at the other. Same with soccer. I alternate but I don't consider that as my child "needing" me there. I'm thinking more if they are injured or something. Because wanting me there is different than needing me there.
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I should explain some of my requirements to be a GREAT mother, such as being a good example of morality, integrity and honesty. It also needs someone who provides a safe, loving and non-volatile/over-reactive parent, to provide a secure and consistent home life. Rational behaviour is key. So are trust and respect. Totally agree. I just wonder about the last part. "provide a secure and consistent home life." How do you know that the nanny you hire to care for your child(ren) will always be there? SB, you can still contribute here. I mean we're all entitled to our opinions whether we're parents or not...But I respect your stance about coming back after you've had a child of your own. I really do. Dumble, you are not a parent but at least you KNOW you're out of your depth, right? I wonder about those who have never had a child yet still think they really know what it's all about and what it takes to be a GREAT parent!
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Oh those things. Yes. I've missed parties for one because I was at the other. Same with soccer. I alternate but I don't consider that as my child "needing" me there. I'm thinking more if they are injured or something. Because wanting me there is different than needing me there. Oh, then it's okay to not always be there for everything, right?
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Totally agree. Do you walk the walk for my above description of GREAT mother?
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