Author Ariadne Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 Thanks. Yeah, I thought of that a million times. But I just can't forget Denver guy. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Hi guys, I thought I'd update this. Denver guy and I have been writing to each other for a few months now. I'm just so glad to have him back in my life I can't describe. His emails give me joy forever. Our talks have been intimate, talking about our days or what we've been through in the past with the occasional pictures. I simply begged him to talk to me again, and eventually he responded. I have NO idea why you would open that door again. I thought you worked through this and let go of him. Now, your obsession with him is going to continue to do harm to YOU. Obviously HE doesn't have your best interest at heart. If he did care about you, he would have either ignored your emails or wrote back to tell you it's really over and to stop emailing him. Now, you're going to get hurt and crazed over him all over again. But I just can't forget Denver guy. That's because deep down you didn't really want to. Sorry A, but continuing the email banter with him is going to mess you up (again). Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Begging is never becoming - to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Sorry A, but continuing the email banter with him is going to mess you up (again). Not mess me up any more than not hearing from him and losing my soulmate. I still believe he is mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 Well, He dumped me.... again! Yesterday I received this email from Denver guy and I almost fell out of my chair: ------- Got it. I will not respond to any further emails from you or otherwise contact you again. ------- !!! All because I called him on the phone and he didn't answer... So I emailed him asking him why he would not reply, since we had been writing for so long and I really wanted to talk to him (I haven't heard his voice in four years!) Of course he didn't answer to that either... So I emailed him again, this time I was a little more hurt, and told him that surely he didn't reply to me because I was a "nothing" a "zero" and that I should not forget that. Of course, this was said mere seconds after the phone call. I was still quite distraught. A few hours later I get "that" email. After that, as you can imagine, I have sent him some 20 emails if not more begging him please to not be like that, trying to make him understand, to be more compassionate, to please reconsider, etc etc. I cried for hours straight after I got that email and went to work looking like some monster. I just can't believe this! Before, when I was writing to him (before he got engaged) it seemed like there was nothing I could possibly to that would make him stop writing to me. Even when I wanted for him not to write to me because I was getting so hooked. No can do... But now, for any little thing he just dumps me like a dog. I don't know... I don't know anymore... For now I have just decided to face my destiny and do penance. I can't think of anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
Sibyl Vane Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I'm so sorry you're hurting Ariadne. It's clear how attached you are to this guy, he's an arse for stringing you along like this. You probably shouldn't have called him. It may have freaked him out a little. I too have someone I've been emailing for an extended period of time and I'd never call him like that out of the blue. I hope you get to the point that you no longer need to hear from him. It's hard though. But if he contacts you again, remember today. Remember what happens. It won't stop you from feeling happy and high spirited like you do when he contacts you again but just keep it in the back of your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 You probably shouldn't have called him. It may have freaked him out a little. I too have someone I've been emailing for an extended period of time and I'd never call him like that out of the blue. Thank you so much. It wasn't out of the blue actually. I had told him that I really wanted to talk to him, and I even sent him my phone number in case he ever felt inclined. But then, I went and called him... I just wanted to hear his voice so much. And look what I get. Link to post Share on other sites
Sibyl Vane Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Thank you so much. It wasn't out of the blue actually. I had told him that I really wanted to talk to him, and I even sent him my phone number in case he ever felt inclined. But then, I went and called him... I just wanted to hear his voice so much. And look what I get. Either way, what's done is done. You get that because he might have to actually hold a two way conversation with you if he speaks to you over the phone. He only seems to speak about himself in his emails to you. Does he ever ask you questions about your own life, show any interest in you other than as an attentive audience? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 Does he ever ask you questions about your own life, show any interest in you other than as an attentive audience? Dunno. I don't know anything anymore. He'd pay ear to my situations and my day, and he'd comment when appropriate or pay support. And then he'd write about his day to me. That was more or less it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sibyl Vane Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Dunno. I don't know anything anymore. He'd pay ear to my situations and my day, and he'd comment when appropriate or pay support. And then he'd write about his day to me. That was more or less it. Not exactly a deep and meaningful friendship...you don't seem to get anything out of it but pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Stop begging him Ariadne! Please! please please please stop begging. Stop begging him because you did nothing wrong! You asked him to be in touch with you and yet again, he failed you. And now he's playing with your emotions by withdrawing what contact you had - therefore depriving you of that little glimmer of hope you hang on to. I know how in love you are with this man - the same way I also feel he'll never be able to reciprocate your love. Or, minimally, never be able to reciprocate your love as long as you keep feeling that you are not worthy of his attention. Thing is: you are. And if he isn't ready to recognize that, then you should move on. I also know there's nothing I can say that will change you mind - and stop you from hoping that one day DG will be yours all yours. So I say: get yourself to Venice Beach! Enjoy the day. xox K Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 Stop begging him Ariadne! Please! please please please stop begging. Stop begging him because you did nothing wrong! You asked him to be in touch with you and yet again, he failed you. And now he's playing with your emotions by withdrawing what contact you had - therefore depriving you of that little glimmer of hope you hang on to. Thank you so much! No, I don't go to Venice beach anymore. I stopped smoking weed ever since I ended up in the hospital for that on May 3rd. (It turned out to be nothing serious fortunately but a muscle pull from coughing, but it was enough for me). You won't believe all the emails I've sent him... I'd do anything to talk to him, beg is nothing for me. But now I left him alone. He'll probably cringe to see yet another email from me. I just told him what he made me feel like when he didn't respond. Because he talks all day on the phone with other people, and does tons of things for other people, but talking to me is just too much to ask. Argh.... I don't know. I guess I shouldn't have asked. Now look what I got, I was so happy to be talking to him. Thanks Kamille. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Is this what goes on in your head Ariadne.. DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 Is this what goes on in your head Ariadne.. DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY DENVER GUY Yeah, pretty much all day. But now is like someone who died and I have to be a widow. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 But now is like someone who died and I have to be a widow. And now you need to heal. This on/off thing with DG is and has been KILLING YOU. It's time to stop wishing he was yours, stop obsessing about him and live your life - Find someone who is going to love and adore you! Not some guy online who you've built up to be Mr Perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Find someone who is going to love and adore you! Not some guy online who you've built up to be Mr Perfect. No, now I intend to do intense penance. That's all I'm planning to do. Embrace this suffering hopefully to come out better and more mature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hi, In case you wonder what I mean, here are some words from the Dalai Lama that express it better: "Once suffering has started, it should be received not as a burden but as something that can assist you. Undergoing small sufferings in this lifetime can purify the karma of many ill deeds accumulated in former lifetimes. Adopting this perspective will help you see the ills of cyclic existence, and the more you can do this, the more you will dislike engaging in nonvirtues. Hardship also helps you to see the advantages of liberation. In addition, through your own experience of suffering, you will be able to empathize with the pain of others and generate a wish to do something for them. From this viewpoint, enemies are teachers of inner strength, courage and determination." Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Ariadne have a drink with me and stop being silly Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Well, I'm feeling so sick that it's hard for me to even come and sit in the forum. Just opening this page gives me pain. Right now I feel like I'm about to throw up, and have been feeling like this all day, just very sick, and having a hard time getting out of bed or staying awake. My energy is practically zero at this point, and I just pray and offer all this suffering for the benefit of all beings, especially wild animals that are innocent. I just hope this will be good for something, because it's just so hard... I'm planning to live the most ascetic life possible, with the least amount of food, strenuous physical effort, no recreational drugs or drinks, and chastity till I die. Link to post Share on other sites
skreen23 Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hey Ariadne, read your posts and it broke my heart. You really deserve good things in your life. Next time you give your heart to someone make sure they deserve it. Amazing how people turn to drugs during emotional times. My alcohol and marijuana intake has rocketed and i started smoking tobacco. I don't think this is a bad thing as long as they don't become a crutch. Talk to friends about how you feel. You come across as a very caring person and i really hope you find happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver guy denver fuy denver guy Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Ok, so cutting all the crap, as I know from your past posts you are not a big fan of therapists. You have cut yourself off from living and you use DG as an excuse. So, you can continue to convince yourself that this and only THIS person is your soulmate or you can LIVE. And right now, you are deciding to kill ariadne. You wouldn't do or say that to another poster. Why so mean to yourself ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 Hey Ariadne, read your posts and it broke my heart. You really deserve good things in your life. Next time you give your heart to someone make sure they deserve it. Thank you. I gave my heart to someone buy is not like he doesn't deserve it, it's the other way around. I know I found my soulmate, and if the universe doesn't want me to be with him, is because I'm not ready. I need to improve and what has happened is just a sign. I basically, suck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 You have cut yourself off from living and you use DG as an excuse... You wouldn't do or say that to another poster. Why so mean to yourself ? I do as much living as I can. But I don't sociallize, everything is stupid for me, I have no hobbies whatsoever, I don't like to date, I don't like to party, I don't like tv. Basically all I do in life is read about spirituality and walk in nature. Nothing else interests me. If I had more free time (and didn't have to spend 9 hours a day in a cubicle) I'd just do service. Thanks Melody Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Do you still believe in things like fate, astrology and soul mates? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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