Question for Guys 40 - 50

[Jersey Shortie]

Now that he is more successful, he constantly talks about how he can marry a woman 8 years younger than him easily. Then he adds that up to be a 13 yr difference. Since women do hit on him everywhere he goes, he easily could. Unfortunately, I know he has not been faithful to her as well.

 

Now on the flip side, I do not think I will ever hear a man say "Well I am married now to a woman who is 5 years younger. I am now successful. I wish I had a woman that was 10 years older, which would be a 15 yr age difference."

 

Younger women that are married still get cheated on. Age has nothing to do whether someone cheats or not. The fact that you insinuate that it's your friend's wife age that causes him to cheat and not him as a man, is a total cop out at his responsiblity for not being a good man or husband.

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, exactly my point.. Find a man your age. or older, to avoid this from happening.

 

Finding an older male doesn't avoid this. I've dated older men and the reason *I* broke up with them was the age difference. It was fun at first, and the things I liked at first turned into the things I found annoying. The age difference between us just wasn't going to work.

 

 

WOW... you seem to be surrounded by chronic losers.... (your environment - bars, friends, etc.) kind of 'hillbillies - trailer park' people..

 

Maybe you should move.. then you might get a better idea of how 'decent' people live and think..

 

 

His group of people hit on mentally handicapped women with nice racks for the love of god.

 

 

Men desiring younger women is not a sign of immaturity or an ego. It is simply following basic male programming.

It is the way nature has hardwired us to be in order for the species to survive

 

Actually, I disagree and think that it can be a sign of immaturity or his own fear of aging. I've dated older men, have you?

 

But to play along with you, there will always be younger women in the world. Even when the woman is the younger one in the relationship, she will age. What do you want from us women? It seems that no matter what we do, we just can't win. Because if all you want to go by in life is that men like younger women, then even when he picks a mate and gets married, maybe he will trade her in too. Since, to play along with you "it's male programming". And I'm sorry but blaming the way you behave as an individual on "male programming" isn't 100% fair. YOu have responsiblity for the choices you make.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Younger women that are married still get cheated on. Age has nothing to do whether someone cheats or not. The fact that you insinuate that it's your friend's wife age that causes him to cheat and not him as a man, is a total cop out at his responsiblity for not being a good man or husband.

 

 

 

Yes, I found that whole paragraph about the married man quite distasteful. So he loved her when they got married and he had $50 to his name, but now that he has a higher income, he doesn't want her anymore? What kind of low character is this guy? And then he blames it on her age? What a loser.

[Capricciosa]

 

In short, he's the guy who doesn't want other people to live. The usual reason for a person feeling that way is that they themselves don't have the first idea of how to enjoy life...and the closest they get to it involves trying to diminish the experience of it for others.

 

Very well said.

[vonerik012]

He is not perfect.. He used his looks to marry an attractive, successful older woman (like millions of women do), then later realized she is too old, and he would rather be with a younger female. thats human nature at work. She is too old for him.

 

Jersey, once again you cannot read...It was random people driving down the main road who stopped to hit on the mentally handicapped woman. Not "my group".

 

Why don't you attack LOVEHATELOVE? He is saying the same OBVIOUS thing I am. He would sleep with older women, but not be in a LTR with them.

[soserious1]

He is not perfect.. He used his looks to marry an attractive, successful older woman (like millions of women do), then later realized she is too old, and he would rather be with a younger female. thats human nature at work. She is too old for him.

 

 

 

Please she's 5 yrs older, the problem isn't with her, it's with a man who's obviously got zero moral character.

 

"Human nature" tells me that if I am to sit here believing that I am so horrid, so utterly socially worthless that the only man I can possibly hope for is one who's going to basically just use me for money while he waits for someone better to come along..well then I better just go slip a noose around my neck and be done with it.

 

I am not not out there doing the "cougar" thing, I'm not prowling college campuses or clubs cruising 24 yr olds. What I am doing is enlarging the pool of potentially eligible partners by not excluding men ages 5-7 yrs younger than myself.

 

Another piece of all this you're forgetting/ignoring is that by the time people get to ages 45 and up, many of them have already been married,had all the kids they want to have, including men, a lot of em don't want babies and a lot of em don't want to be stuck in the step-father job either. I'm leaving myself open and receptive to men ranging in age from 7 yrs my junior to 7 years my senior. Age gaps larger than that don't work for ME others may feel differently and that is their perogative.

[vonerik012]

SOSO,

 

I think it depends on what you want. Do you want to get married? Just date? Just have a long term boyfriend? Just have sex?

 

If marriage is important to you, find an older man.

 

If you just want sex, or several boyfriends, seek younger men.

 

I am guessing since you do not want kids, then just have fun and date younger men. What is the point to getting married?

[almost famous]

Well....that NHL Hockey player and Rachel Hunter obviously don't see it that way, as well as many, many other similar couples. They know what you're saying is hogwash.

[vonerik012]

LOL

 

Yes Rachel Hunter, Demi Moore, Joan Collins, Elizabeth Taylor...

 

All excellent real life examples.

[soserious1]

SOSO,

 

I think it depends on what you want. Do you want to get married? Just date? Just have a long term boyfriend? Just have sex?

 

If marriage is important to you, find an older man.

 

If you just want sex, or several boyfriends, seek younger men.

 

I am guessing since you do not want kids, then just have fun and date younger men. What is the point to getting married?

 

Again you ignore my point, many people ages 45 and older have been married before, some of them more than once and many of them already have all the children they want to have.There are men over age 45 who don't want more kids and who are not interested in pursuing a relationship with a woman who still has children needing support living at home. To those men a woman wanting babies or wanting a step-father for her pre-existing kids is a huge deal breaking negative, those are the men I'm interested in.

[vonerik012]

SOSO, I understand...

 

But if a man already had kids, and does not want more, why would they want to marry an older woman, or even any woman? He could just casually date.

 

After a divorce, not many men are really excited to get married again..

[soserious1]

SOSO, I understand...

 

But if a man already had kids, and does not want more, why would they want to marry an older woman, or even any woman? He could just casually date.

 

After a divorce, not many men are really excited to get married again..

 

And intially that's how many women in the same position feel as well. Time heals though Vonerik and as you age there are important benefits that marriage confers that cannot be overlooked.I want to know that I can will a portion of my estate to my long term partner and that he won't need to worry about my grown children or other relatives trying to cheat him out of it.If my health insurance is better than his I want to extend to him that protection. If I am ill and cannot speak for myself, I want to be 100% sure that he can speak for me,avoiding dramatic scenes in an ICU with my adult children fighting.

 

The biggest issue or divide in dating at mid-life is the issue of children,knowing clearly your feelings and desires around this can spare you a lot of grief when you're first meeting prospective partners.

[almost famous]

Rachel Hunter is a real life example. She is attractive but not what she was when she was 22.....the 26 year old successful NHL player has no reason to spend 2 years of his life with her and ask her to marry him if he didn't love her very much and preferred her to the opportunities of 18 to 26 year old women, many many many opportunities to get in a relationship and marry one of these women.....hmmm......maybe it is possible for a man to be in love with a woman and not see the date on her drivers license.....hmmm.....

[vonerik012]

Almost,

 

I don't know of any 24 yr old man that would not want to date a 36 yr old Rachel Hunter. A multi-millionaire model can date whomever she wants.

 

Rachel Hunter also married a man that was 24 years older when she was only 21. This is who she had a family with.

 

Most women who are 36 do not want to marry a 24 yr old, and vice versa. This is obvious.

[almost famous]

Uh....he is 26, she is 38.....he is also a millionaire, now you are admitting that men who are older women if they have money. You are also saying there are women 38 years old who are attractive enough to merit a serious dating/engagement/marriage relationship with a significantly younger man. Sorry, Rachel Hunter is pretty good looking, but so am I, and actually her most recent pictures, she is actually kind of soft and normal looking body wise for a 38 year old. She is nothing special. I know many, many women her age who are in the same attractiveness category and she is going to age just like anyone else. You have said that there is a certain "something" that women pushing 40 and plus just don't have that younger women don't have, but really, when it gets down to it, you don't really believe that your own self.

 

 

I'm going to leave it at this.....there are plenty of younger men who will become seriously involved with women 5 years and older. There are plenty of younger women who will become involved with men 5 years and older than themselves.

 

There are plenty of younger women who are NOT interested in becoming seriously involved with men 5 years and more older than themselves, and there are plenty of younger men who are not interested in becoming seriously involved with women 5 years and more older than themselves.

 

And that's that because there is too much evidence refuting your assertion that men are interested in women 5 years plus older than themselves, and that most women Are interested in men 5 years plus older than themselves.

 

Almost,

 

I don't know of any 24 yr old man that would not want to date a 36 yr old Rachel Hunter. A multi-millionaire model can date whomever she wants.

 

Rachel Hunter also married a man that was 24 years older when she was only 21. This is who she had a family with.

 

Most women who are 36 do not want to marry a 24 yr old, and vice versa. This is obvious.

[vonerik012]

Almost, believe whatever you want..

 

I believe most men are attracted to younger women,or women their same age, especially for a life long commitment. Nothing you can ever say will change my mind.

 

Yes, a very small percentage of men marry older women. Less than 7%.

 

That leaves 93% of men who do not.

 

 

Of that 7% I believe some men truly looked past age, or did not even notice. I feel some settled. And I feel some will not last.

 

I know a very successful attorney who was in Playboy when she was younger. She dated many guys after her divorce, and she was most attracted to younger men. At 44 she married a guy who was 30. He did not have a car, a job, or even a drivers license. She wanted to "mother" this guy, and that gave her a sense of control. He was also of the personality type to go along with it..So for her, it worked.. Sadly after 1 year of marriage he expressed his desire to have children, something she cannot do. He simply"changed his mind", and they divorced. (After she helped him get his life together)

[soserious1]

Almost, believe whatever you want..

 

I believe most men are attracted to younger women,or women their same age, especially for a life long commitment. Nothing you can ever say will change my mind.

 

Yes, a very small percentage of men marry older women. Less than 7%.

 

That leaves 93% of men who do not.

 

 

Of that 7% I believe some men truly looked past age, or did not even notice. I feel some settled. And I feel some will not last.

 

I know a very successful attorney who was in Playboy when she was younger. She dated many guys after her divorce, and she was most attracted to younger men. At 44 she married a guy who was 30. He did not have a car, a job, or even a drivers license. She wanted to "mother" this guy, and that gave her a sense of control. He was also of the personality type to go along with it..So for her, it worked.. Sadly after 1 year of marriage he expressed his desire to have children, something she cannot do. He simply"changed his mind", and they divorced. (After she helped him get his life together)

 

 

 

There's a difference between marrying somebody a few years younger and in marrying somebody almost a generation younger, at 14 yrs her junior,your friend's ex-hubby falls into being a generation younger.

 

When you marry somebody that much younger you are taking a risk that it won't work be you man or woman because of the baby issue or because the younger person matured and changed and is now not compatable with you. I at least hope this guy was reasonable with your friend in his alimony, settlement requests?

[almost famous]

Vonerik, you just like to twist everything to your own advantage. You can't even admit to yourself that there are TONS of women younger than you who will immediately rule you out to date because you are too old for them.

You are the one who are delusional here.

50% and now they are saying higher than that of all marriages are failing, so you really can't say that this is an age thing.

 

You are also deluded if you think that there are marriages where the female is 10 years plus younger don't fail, also, because the younger woman feels she has missed out on a younger, more virile, attractive and active man.

[Jersey Shortie]

I know a very successful attorney who was in Playboy when she was younger. She dated many guys after her divorce, and she was most attracted to younger men. At 44 she married a guy who was 30. He did not have a car, a job, or even a drivers license. She wanted to "mother" this guy, and that gave her a sense of control. He was also of the personality type to go along with it..So for her, it worked.. Sadly after 1 year of marriage he expressed his desire to have children, something she cannot do. He simply"changed his mind", and they divorced. (After she helped him get his life together)

 

And my dad use to work with a guy that had a wife a few years younger then him that ended up divorcing him and taking alot of his money so that he now lives in a rented basement to the owners of the house. Blah, blah blah...the world is full of sad stories. Your friend is responsible for his own choices, not the age of his mate.

 

 

You are also deluded if you think that there are marriages where the female is 10 years plus younger don't fail, also, because the younger woman feels she has missed out on a younger, more virile, attractive and active man.

 

Well if we go by Vonerik's statistics, he thinks all younger women marry older men. Since half of marriages end in divorce, I think it's safe to say that alot of these younger women are divocing their husbands at the same rate of people who are of different ages.

[vonerik012]

It's very simple.

 

 

Let's go with the premise that naturally men and women are more attracted to humans that are younger than themselves.

 

Men are visual, and value beauty. Women have a desire for security. They do not value beauty as much as men, and men are not wired to seek security.

 

So an older man is more stable, more mature, financially more secure, and he can then give this security to a younger woman. He gets a younger woman, she gets security.

 

What does the younger man get from the older woman? Does he get the younger beauty? Since she is older, does she want to provide him with financial security? Usually the answer is no.

 

It seems the older woman just wants the younger mate for his better looks, more energy, better in bed, BUT will not have kids with him or support him financially. Yes, it is a win win for the older woman in this situation. A lose lose for the younger guy.

[Jersey Shortie]

So an older man is more stable, more mature, financially more secure, and he can then give this security to a younger woman.

 

 

You forgot to mention his old declining sperm. Not the best option biologically for a woman.

[vonerik012]

Hey nothings perfect. But the fact that he is able to reproduce at a much older age than a woman speaks for itself..

[Jersey Shortie]

He can reproduce, that doesn't mean he should. Nature is already telling him that he isn't in his prime anymore with his slowing drive. Hence the reason men of 40 are more likely to take drugs for ED then men of 40. It's nature's way of telling older men that they are no longer the biological prime material. Add in the fact that alot of women today are supporing themselves and not looking for a provider as they once where. The realistic fact is a man of 30 is a better mate bioligically, then a man of 40. If a woman wants to have children, she should do so with a male that has the best options to be healthy. Just as you say men should. THat's just nature.

[soserious1]

Hey nothings perfect. But the fact that he is able to reproduce at a much older age than a woman speaks for itself..

 

But what sane person would want to reproduce at a much older age ? My 57 yr old male friend,the guy sleeping on sofas and in his car, he's got a 3 yr old, my god, the man cannot afford a place to live he's so broke from paying child support. I cannot even begin to fathom what he's going to do.My youngest grandchild is older than his baby and I'm younger than he is.

[Jersey Shortie]

Most older men don't Soserious. The men I dated either realized their ship sailed for children, or were hearing their own biological clocks ticking they were on a mission to find a mate. Men aren't immune to aging as Vonerik would like to believe. I've heard so many comments from men worrying about getting older that I know they are not as steadfast in this area as some men here would like us to believe.

[melodymatters]

Ok, I have had just about enough of your half baked, dimestore, psychological bull crap. YOU are ONE person. YOU probably are an unattractive loser who lives in your parents basement, has never gotten laid, and is taking out your sexual/mommy frustration on every woman with a vagina on this board. Sorry about your luck.

 

NOW :

 

Step the **** off.

 

Dollars to donuts I could own your ass within 36 hrs, and I'm not talking sex OR money. You would simply walk away from that table wanting to kill yourself. PM me wth a phone number if you doubt me azz maggot.

 

I just spent the last 48 G*damn hrs in the iCU with my "younger" man, and believe me, you crazy, pathetic piece of fruedian garbage, it , and we, have nothing to do with your judgemental, delusional philosphy.

 

But then again, we have love, and sex and friendship, between us, and something tells me you have NONE of any of thise things going on in YOUR life.

 

If you have the balls, don't argue with me on this board, PM me, and lets get you to the psych ward ASAP.

 

 

 

 

 

It's very simple.

 

 

Let's go with the premise that naturally men and women are more attracted to humans that are younger than themselves.

 

Men are visual, and value beauty. Women have a desire for security. They do not value beauty as much as men, and men are not wired to seek security.

 

So an older man is more stable, more mature, financially more secure, and he can then give this security to a younger woman. He gets a younger woman, she gets security.

 

What does the younger man get from the older woman? Does he get the younger beauty? Since she is older, does she want to provide him with financial security? Usually the answer is no.

 

It seems the older woman just wants the younger mate for his better looks, more energy, better in bed, BUT will not have kids with him or support him financially. Yes, it is a win win for the older woman in this situation. A lose lose for the younger guy.