OWoman Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Please let this woman know before she is dumb enough to conceive a child with this cheating scum. Then you can happily run off into the sunset with your cheating lying man and she can find a real man who loves her. ...and her dog... Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 ...and her dog... maybe SHE wants custody of the doggie? (the BS) Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 oooh, just had a thought - maybe the voicemail was for the doggie ? I kid you not, I once had a friend who would call his dog when he was away LOL (and yes, the dog was trained to "pickup") Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I may be in the minority, but I feel that the wife should always know the truth about what is going on in her life no matter what. If her H isn't going to tell her, someone should. Why is it OK for the wife to be left in the dark about her own life and marriage? What does the OW have to lose? The way I see it, if the wife knows, then the OW will find out rather quickly if there is any future with MM. There are three people (and a dog) in this scenario and only one isn't aware of the truth. As a BW who found out because (I think) the OW set my H up, I'm forever grateful that she asked him for more than she should have. Had she not pushed on that fateful day, I might still be living a lie not even knowing. The other thing is, if you are going to tell, TELL THE TRUTH!. Not some made up version that keeps the BW wondering because it makes no sense. I was lucky that we went to MC and my H realized the value of complete honesty. I read so many stories on LS about BW who get the truth in little pieces over years and that is an agony you should spare the BW. JMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GypsyGirl Posted June 9, 2008 Author Share Posted June 9, 2008 Oh man...I'm so sad today but at least all of you ladies are cracking me up about the dog. I know that's the biggest load of cr@p ever, I've just been way too nice to call him on it. I can't believe I've been promised a future that hinges on the DEATH OF A PET. How morbid. How ridiculous. I want to write more but I'm at work ... I'll be back on tonight. Thank you all so much, again! Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Oh man...I'm so sad today but at least all of you ladies are cracking me up about the dog. I know that's the biggest load of cr@p ever, I've just been way too nice to call him on it. I can't believe I've been promised a future that hinges on the DEATH OF A PET. How morbid. How ridiculous. I want to write more but I'm at work ... I'll be back on tonight. Thank you all so much, again! You have it in your power to end your sadness. You can step up to the plate and be honest with another human being and see where you really stand. Your future doesn't hinge on anything but your own decisions. Why let this drag on when you can know now? You say you are having evil thoughts. Since when is honesty evil? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 One other bit of "food for thought". My wife was CONVINCED that if she ever cheated on me, that I'd divorce her so fast the judge's head would spin. She completely believed this. Turns out, when she DID cheat on me...I didn't drop her like a hot potato. Instead, I worked things out with her. The point is that he doesn't have a clue how his wife will truly react when she finds out about the affair. He might THINK he does, but that's the extent of it. His wife doesn't know either...until she's there. There is no true way to know how this situation is going to play out, until it plays out. Its CLEAR that he's giving you a completely garbage EXCUSE for not leaving yet. Let me ask you...if they're THAT close to their pet, then do you REALLY think he's going to leave his wife when the pet dies, and she's sitting there crying and grieving over that loss? Nope, he's going to tell you..."I can't leave her when she's like this. Give me a few more months, so I know she'll be ok. Then I'll leave her.". Of course, a few more months will pass, a new excuse will come up...and you'll be his "other woman" forever. Here's my take. You're letting him call all the shots, take all the control. End that nonsense now. Pull up your 'big girl britches', and start taking back the control. Tell him you're not willing to be the OW...and you're not going to wait for him to let the dog die. Tell him that he tells her now, and starts the divorce proceedings IMMEDIATELY....or he can keep her and the dog, because YOU are worth more than just being fed the crumbs leftover from his marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 This is to Pelican whatever the rest of your username is: I bet my MM's W thinks we were together less than 6 months too... *eyes rolling* Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 I think there's a difference between leaving a spouse occasioned by another person, and leaving a spouse for another person. Sure it's possible to leave a M ten minutes after meeting someone new; what is the probability you'll still be with that person 5, 10 years down the line? I guess the point GEL is trying to make is that those As where MM leaves after a couple of months of knowing OW are unlikely to be those that last long enough to make it into the mythical stats; those that are based on a longer, more deep-seated R are more likely to demonstrate longevity. Pretty much the same as with any M - the people who meet and marry within minutes often divorce minutes later, too; whereas those who take it slow, get to know their partner over time and then decide to M tend to be slower to D too. But then, there are no proper stats on this either way, so it's all pretty much based on conjecture, common sense and anecdotal evidence. I agree with you to a certain exent but I've also read a lot of threads where the poster had been with their spouse 5 or 6 years before getting married only to be divorced within 2 years. Whether the individuals getting married are "wide eyed" virgins, seasoned vets, or some combination of the two, the odds of a long and succesful marriage will always be a crapshoot. Even "looking deep before you leap" and marrying under the best of circumstances is no guarantee that you won't break your leg, back, or neck when you make that "Leap of Faith"! Like you, I don't have any stats to rely on, other than those offered by other posters, but reading post after post describing the same results from similar variations on the theme just makes you wonder whether chasing 3% odds is a prudent course of action... Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 This is to Pelican whatever the rest of your username is: I bet my MM's W thinks we were together less than 6 months too... *eyes rolling* Does that make you proud? That someone has lied about how long that they've been in a R with you? Wow, what a wonderful thing to express pride in (not). That and the fact that he lied to you about even being married in the first place. What a great foundation to build a life on. Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 This is to Pelican whatever the rest of your username is: I bet my MM's W thinks we were together less than 6 months too... *eyes rolling* Naw... I'm sure she anguished and languished for years as you played your petty little games! Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Does that make you proud? That someone has lied about how long that they've been in a R with you? Wow, what a wonderful thing to express pride in (not). That and the fact that he lied to you about even being married in the first place. What a great foundation to build a life on. lol.. Hey, Gel just told it how it is... And Yes she proud, she got the love of her life with her! I think she has a great foundation. It was a hard road they took, they will not take each other for granted, appriciate each other everyday for the rest of their lives, and most of all they have love!! Nothing of value ever comes easy! Best to you Gel!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 anguished and languished.... good god what is this ? the 1800s ?? Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 anguished and languished.... good god what is this ? the 1800s ?? That was sarcasm! Good Lord...If slow were stupid some of you people should be in a comma! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 That was sarcasm! Good Lord...If slow were stupid some of you people should be in a comma! I believe that would be a coMa (one m) - perhaps you should practise your sarcastic wit a tad more.......... Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 I believe that would be a coMa (one m) - perhaps you should practise your sarcastic wit a tad more.......... Well I've been drinking tonight...what's your excuse?! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Well I've been drinking tonight...what's your excuse?! I'm smarter ? Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 I'm smarter ? AMEN!! Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 I'm smarter ? Yeah right! The way you tell it...you tell it the best! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 I agree with you to a certain exent but I've also read a lot of threads where the poster had been with their spouse 5 or 6 years before getting married only to be divorced within 2 years. Whether the individuals getting married are "wide eyed" virgins, seasoned vets, or some combination of the two, the odds of a long and succesful marriage will always be a crapshoot. Even "looking deep before you leap" and marrying under the best of circumstances is no guarantee that you won't break your leg, back, or neck when you make that "Leap of Faith"! Like you, I don't have any stats to rely on, other than those offered by other posters, but reading post after post describing the same results from similar variations on the theme just makes you wonder whether chasing 3% odds is a prudent course of action... Sure it's a crapshoot - like the TC quote OB now has in her sig. And if you search the 3%, you'll find enough threads on here alone debunking that myth. The "3%" figure is quoted by people who don't understand stats, or study design, or reseach methodology in general. So anyone aiming to be part of that 3% may as well sign up for Santa's elf workshop because the reality base is as reliable. For myself - I don't chase odds. I've had enough "odds" - and downright nutters - chasing me, TYVM! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Sure it's a crapshoot - like the TC quote OB now has in her sig. And if you search the 3%, you'll find enough threads on here alone debunking that myth. The "3%" figure is quoted by people who don't understand stats, or study design, or reseach methodology in general. So anyone aiming to be part of that 3% may as well sign up for Santa's elf workshop because the reality base is as reliable. For myself - I don't chase odds. I've had enough "odds" - and downright nutters - chasing me, TYVM! and notice how often a M is deemed "successful" purely by the number of years it has managed to survive, even though it's often a purgatory for the two people in it, limping along with neither one having the balls to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 and notice how often a M is deemed "successful" purely by the number of years it has managed to survive, even though it's often a purgatory for the two people in it, limping along with neither one having the balls to end it. Isn't purgatory like the juvenile detention centre, rather than the grown-up prison? I think more Ms are like limbo - or would be, if the Pope hadn't abolished it.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Isn't purgatory like the juvenile detention centre, rather than the grown-up prison? I think more Ms are like limbo - or would be, if the Pope hadn't abolished it.... no, purgatory IS limbo - neither one thing nor the other (and I didn't get that papal memo, so oh well ) Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Well, I'm in a "successful" marriage. It AIN'T purgatory on my end at least. Nor do I get the impression that my wife feels that way either. Sorry guys, but while I know that you're both trying to point out that there are marriages out there that are just held together by words, I want to point out that there are also a lot of GOOD marriages out there too. I don't share your views on marriage, clearly. I see nothing wrong with "belonging to" my wife, or her "belonging to" me. And I see nothing wrong with the idea of choosing not to be married for those that don't care for the concept. I don't feel that their choice to not marry means that they live unhappy lives. I ALSO don't feel that those who DO choose to marry live unhappy lives either. I just don't care for inferring that those who do stay married a long time are unhappy, dysfunctional, or otherwise flawed or in a flawed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
neverendingsaga Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 wow weve gotten so far off track, i wonder where GypsyGirl even is! i didnt mean to launch world war 3 just b/c i disagree w/ GEL LOL. ive moved way on from that, its just my opinion. focus ppl! GypsyGirl come back & give us an update! i hope your doing okay!! Link to post Share on other sites
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