Intergalactic Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Don't look at anything related to them on NC. Honestly. I Clicked on "view friends" on my ex's facebook (I deleted her).. and what the hell, I got some MASSIVE wave of sadness considering I was no longer a part of her life, something/someone she doesn't care about. This is 2 months post break up. Doing something small like that made me feel like I was back on day 1 of the break up. Just absolutely panicking and trying to grab onto something. WTF. I am considering that as contact and starting again today, including quitting smoking (might as well kill 2 birds with 1 stone, if I can quit smoking I can sure as hell not contact or even look at my ex). It's so stupid to even prod around, there is nothing you can do to change your ex's feelings, definitely don't concern yourself with what she might be doing. Whatever it is - you don't want to know. i know i should just delete him but i can't. i promised i wouldn't, for one thing, and he hasn't been an ******* to me at all. i also hate how final that would be, how final it feels. i hate change and i hate finality. ugh it sucks. on a side note, i spoke to an old friend on the phone for a few hours before and it made me feel really really good, and made me forget about tim. really happy about that.
nickelinadime Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 She tried to talk to me today and took the same bus as I did - again.. But, the first day is in the books (again).
sedgwick Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Two months since I sent him the text he ignored.
ahhhchooo Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 This is basically day 2 of going NC and MEANING IT. New life, new goals, working hard, getting a very decent amount of sleep and PUSHING MYSELF TO BE DESIRABLE. No cigarettes, not checking for contact (I deleted an email she sent without reading it... it definitely hurt less than reading it would've). Ran 5km in 22:46, still slow compared to 2006 but I have improved 4 minutes in 6 weeks! Am now beginning a future study plan for 2009! Paid my gym fees and sticking to a schedule! I will find someone better!
Intergalactic Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 i fell off the bandwagon. txtd him this morning, i guess i let the demons in my head win and thought he wasn't talking to me because he no longer cared. i asked if he even missed me, i said i didn't understand why i hadn't heard anything from him. he sent an email to me, said that he does miss me lots but thought we'd agreed not to speak because it won't "help me get over him", but that he wouldn't mind speaking to me occasionally if it didn't make it hard for me. ugh, **** off i don't want to get over him right now. i emailed back and said i was sorry for txting him, that it was a moment of weakness and i won't again. that i don't want to speak. so i guess i'm starting again. day 0.
lonelybuthappy Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Almost 15 months....0 contact from day 1 and I'm proud for it, but still hurts sometimes, and sometimes still hoping her to contact me...But, it is much easier after 15 months, thanks to NC
watermeloncandy Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 6 days since i sent him the letter
lofi_tokyo Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Only a few hours! lol!! Last time I went NC, I was not serious about it. I thought I was... but when he tried contacting me, I caved until it got bad. Today though, its real! Thats why I'm finally posting my count! 4hrs and loving it! lol
EmperorR Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 2 days its so hard, every day for the past 3 years, every day i talked to her for hours and now nothing, i still look at my phone, feel the urge to go on msn n say hi but i can't, if i meant anyting to her she can msg me
lofi_tokyo Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 2 days its so hard, every day for the past 3 years, every day i talked to her for hours and now nothing, i still look at my phone, feel the urge to go on msn n say hi but i can't, if i meant anyting to her she can msg me Heya Emp. I can relate. My ex and I talked every evening until I fell asleep, for HOURS. It was how he would tuck me in. For a long time I could not sleep without his voice. It was strange. I'm good now though. I hope the same goes for you soon... you wont have to wait on her anymore.
tealeafbud Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 57 days. I came soooooooo close to calling / contacting my ex. I stayed strong though and was better the next day, and I'm better today also!
lofi_tokyo Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 1 day, 4hrs! Feels so good! A cute boy asked me out for lunch after class next Tuesday! I don't expect anything from it... but it felt nice to be asked out.
HopeDiesLast Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 21 days today. why does this feel impossible again?
Intergalactic Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 ugh, two days but i think i'm cheating because i logged onto my myspace and read a bunch of messages we sent to each other from this time last year. then i looked at the messages from the other day, and i thought "where did the FUN go?!". we were so fun with each other last year and those messages from a couple of days ago just seemed so boring and miserable in comparison. i do want him in my life and he wants me in his, but i am DETERMINED to get to the point where we can be friends and have FUN again. that's where it went wrong, the fun disappeared!
Ingenue Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 I'm at 83 days today. Only a few more days until 100.
Sysyphus28 Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 6 days. looked at the phone a bunch. Thought a bunch. Still going to go out tonight to have some.
EmperorR Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 4 days, every day feels a little better, i dont know what shes doing and its better that way, id rather not talk to her and be like oh i found a new bf then im thinking of that, at least now i dont think of anything:)
lofi_tokyo Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 2days!! I unblocked him on AIM then reblocked him - only for a moment, he wasnt online. Somehow that felt like breaking NC because it means hes out with HER, so I wont even do that anymore ;p Keeping my count up though, because I've resisted all other temptations ;p
SarahRose Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Day 5 of NC. It has helped me to read through old texts and my journal posts. I realize how cold he was towards me. He may as well been texting some friend bloke the way he talked to me. He seldom asked anything about me. No how was your day? and no sweet talk at all. Since the break up 10 days ago, he has never contacted me at all. I did 2x. Once to exchange our belongings and once a mistake where I said I missed him on a text. I suspect he will call me about the hard drive of his that I forgot about. It is sitting here and he will ask me to bring it over but you know what, I won't. If he wants it, he can get off his lazy butt and come get it. I forgot I still have one of my expensive down pillows over his place that is part of a matched set. sigh. I want it back but will wait. I'm afraid of the condition it will be in though. Probably filthy. Yeah he had very little respect for my things. Yeah there is a bit of anger coming out today.
lofi_tokyo Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Yeah there is a bit of anger coming out today. Anger is a good thing! Its part of the grieving process, and means you're moving on. Good job! Keep posting SarahRose, I like hearing from you!
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