TAV Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 A week flew by quickly. His flight back home is tomorrow afternoon. Going to miss him again. But we had an amazing week. We went to see a Broadway show in NYC then he proposed to me in Time Square! It was so perfect. I can't believe I'm now his fiancée! Eeek! 1 year and 7 months together. I love my ring! I mentioned in my last post that he had one job interview in my state, it went very well, he was also able to get one more job interview which was totally random but perfect how it all worked out. Both jobs are very interested in him so we'll see how that plays out but he's ready to move and is looking for an apartment in my state now. Hope everyone is doing well with their significant others!' Congratulations! That's wonderful news! And gives many of us hope that things can work out. Thanks. 1
HeavenOrHell Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Thank you, traveling back was fine that day I'm a mix of feelings at the moment, not sure where to go from here, had a nice time though. HOH, hope you are ok. And that travelling back to the UK during the nuclear summit wasn't too much of a nightmare. 2
ThisGal Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 ' Congratulations! That's wonderful news! And gives many of us hope that things can work out. Thanks. Thank you! It can def work out if both people are dedicated. It hasn't been all easy but it was worth the effort. This site has been inspirational and has kept me focused. Thanks again. 2
LittleTiger Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Thank you, traveling back was fine that day I'm a mix of feelings at the moment, not sure where to go from here, had a nice time though. I'm glad you had a nice time HOH. You two obviously love each other a great deal. As for 'where to go from here'? I think you already know the answer to that. From the outside you appear to have only two realistic options. Either accept the relationship for what it is, in it's current form ie learn to be happy with it, knowing that it's never going to change, or call it quits
HeavenOrHell Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Yeah, it's just every time I think about ending it doesn't feel right to, this is my last attempt now to try and focus on my life here and try not to be distracted by living a double life as it were, not sure it's possible though, probably not. The more we bond the harder it is to end it. I'm glad you had a nice time HOH. You two obviously love each other a great deal. As for 'where to go from here'? I think you already know the answer to that. From the outside you appear to have only two realistic options. Either accept the relationship for what it is, in it's current form ie learn to be happy with it, knowing that it's never going to change, or call it quits 1
LittleTiger Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 (edited) Yeah, it's just every time I think about ending it doesn't feel right to, this is my last attempt now to try and focus on my life here and try not to be distracted by living a double life as it were, not sure it's possible though, probably not. The more we bond the harder it is to end it. I don't like to see anyone suffering and you seem to have been suffering in your relationship for four long years! I sincerely hope that you find a way to be content again, with your without your partner in your life. Have you arranged to see one another again or has it been left open as a 'maybe we will and maybe we won't'? Edited March 28, 2014 by LittleTiger 2
HeavenOrHell Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Unhappy on and off the last two years, which isn't great I know... He's not said he wants to end it, he talks about meeting up again, but he's always managed better with the distance than I have, part of me thinks he could do this forever, but another part of me thinks even he would find that hard. At the moment I'd still feel worse to split up than stay, but things seem to be becoming clearer, bit by bit, for me anyway, and I am beginning to be more at ease with spending a lot of time alone, finally. I don't like to see anyone suffering and you seem to have been suffering in your relationship for four long years! I sincerely hope that you find a way to be content again, with your without your partner in your life. Have you arranged to see one another again or has it been left open as a 'maybe we will and maybe we won't'?
amayana Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Hello everybody, I haven't been here in so long. The reason for my absence is that I have been doing really well with my LDR. I had moments, of course, but I have been much less anxious. The reason behind it is that there is a possibility that by September we will actually live together or at least live in the same area. We applied to do our Master's degrees here in the UK and hopefully it will all go well for us. In a way, I think we deserve it. If it doesn't go well, I seriously don't know what is going to happen to our relationship. My guess is that we'll probably break up so I obviously try not to think about things going wrong. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. So many things have gone wrong for us, this time it just has to work out... We are both very busy at the moment. We are also completely broke which makes seeing each other a bit hard. I'm actually flying to a different country in May for a well-paid short-term job so I can buy a ticket to go see him soon... Hopefully in June or July.. My dad got him a job at a fair in August so he doesn't need a work permit, which is grand. Things aren't looking too shabby for us. We try. Stay strong, everyone. I'm rooting for all of you! 5
HeavenOrHell Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Good to hear from you! Wishing you both all the best Hello everybody, I haven't been here in so long. The reason for my absence is that I have been doing really well with my LDR. I had moments, of course, but I have been much less anxious. The reason behind it is that there is a possibility that by September we will actually live together or at least live in the same area. We applied to do our Master's degrees here in the UK and hopefully it will all go well for us. In a way, I think we deserve it. If it doesn't go well, I seriously don't know what is going to happen to our relationship. My guess is that we'll probably break up so I obviously try not to think about things going wrong. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. So many things have gone wrong for us, this time it just has to work out... We are both very busy at the moment. We are also completely broke which makes seeing each other a bit hard. I'm actually flying to a different country in May for a well-paid short-term job so I can buy a ticket to go see him soon... Hopefully in June or July.. My dad got him a job at a fair in August so he doesn't need a work permit, which is grand. Things aren't looking too shabby for us. We try. Stay strong, everyone. I'm rooting for all of you! 1
Cityanna Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 As I am new to this forum...i am reading and reading everything concerning LDR and I feel I have no experience at all! Do you see each other every 2.5-3.0 months and how do you feel about that?
HeavenOrHell Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 6 1/2 weeks for a long weekend, at our half way point, hopefully he can come and stay with me for longer in the summer. 2
HeavenOrHell Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Usually meet every 6-8 weeks, sometimes bit longer, sometimes less, we meet for either 5 days, or about 2 weeks usually. Been doing it nearly 4 years, it is not easy! As I am new to this forum...i am reading and reading everything concerning LDR and I feel I have no experience at all! Do you see each other every 2.5-3.0 months and how do you feel about that? 1
ThisGal Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) As I am new to this forum...i am reading and reading everything concerning LDR and I feel I have no experience at all! Do you see each other every 2.5-3.0 months and how do you feel about that? We meet up every 2 months, sometimes 3. The longest was almost 4 months and that killed me lol. Most days I felt OK with the wait, of course I had my down days where I just missed him so much and wanted him to be here with me...I felt the need to have my hand in his. Then there were days I felt alright and the distance didn't bother me too much. He's moving soon so I cannot wait to close the distance. Edited April 1, 2014 by ThisGal 2
LittleTiger Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Unhappy on and off the last two years, which isn't great I know... He's not said he wants to end it, he talks about meeting up again, but he's always managed better with the distance than I have, part of me thinks he could do this forever, but another part of me thinks even he would find that hard. At the moment I'd still feel worse to split up than stay, but things seem to be becoming clearer, bit by bit, for me anyway, and I am beginning to be more at ease with spending a lot of time alone, finally. HOH, he has no reason to want to end it. As you've said many times, he's a loner, so the lifestyle suits him. If you're going to split up the final decision will probably have to be yours. If you don't actually enjoy spending time alone, then you're sacrificing an awful lot for very little return. If you're planning to stick with it, then I hope you get to see him again soon. 5
LittleTiger Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 As I am new to this forum...i am reading and reading everything concerning LDR and I feel I have no experience at all! Do you see each other every 2.5-3.0 months and how do you feel about that? Welcome Cityanna. Perhaps you could start a new thread and share your story with us? You will get more responses that way 1
Els Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Hello everybody, I haven't been here in so long. The reason for my absence is that I have been doing really well with my LDR. I had moments, of course, but I have been much less anxious. The reason behind it is that there is a possibility that by September we will actually live together or at least live in the same area. We applied to do our Master's degrees here in the UK and hopefully it will all go well for us. In a way, I think we deserve it. If it doesn't go well, I seriously don't know what is going to happen to our relationship. My guess is that we'll probably break up so I obviously try not to think about things going wrong. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. So many things have gone wrong for us, this time it just has to work out... We are both very busy at the moment. We are also completely broke which makes seeing each other a bit hard. I'm actually flying to a different country in May for a well-paid short-term job so I can buy a ticket to go see him soon... Hopefully in June or July.. My dad got him a job at a fair in August so he doesn't need a work permit, which is grand. Things aren't looking too shabby for us. We try. Stay strong, everyone. I'm rooting for all of you! Lovely to hear that, amayana! Missed you around these parts. 1
soccerrprp Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Seeing my gf in about 2.5 weeks. One more LD visit after this and we will be together!!! 4
Els Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Seeing my gf in about 2.5 weeks. One more LD visit after this and we will be together!!! Yay congrats!!! :bunny: 1
LittleTiger Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Seeing my gf in about 2.5 weeks. One more LD visit after this and we will be together!!! Awesome! That was short and sweet - so happy for you!!! Seems like only five minutes ago you were still single! 1
soccerrprp Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Awesome! That was short and sweet - so happy for you!!! Seems like only five minutes ago you were still single! Lol! Short, but not always SWEET. An amazing story to tell our kids when/if they ask how we met/got together. As per seeming like I was single just a short while ago, well, I just don't share every aspect of my dating life on LS.
LittleTiger Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Lol! Short, but not always SWEET. An amazing story to tell our kids when/if they ask how we met/got together. As per seeming like I was single just a short while ago, well, I just don't share every aspect of my dating life on LS. Oh your kids will definitely ask! Are we talking wedding bells then or just offspring? You were definitely single at the time I'm thinking of!
HeavenOrHell Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 He's not happy with his life but whether that also includes not happy with our situation he didn't say, I don't think he'd be happy being in an LDR forever, but whether he'd split up over the distance I've no idea. He's a loner but he's not ok with being a loner. He's depressed but that's not to say he'll do anything to try and change things for the better, he may not feel able to or have the confidence or willpower. His depression may just be a phase anyway, although he's been low for a few months, maybe he'll be ok soon. I sacrifice a lot, ie spending time alone rather than with my partner, but if we split then I sacrifice our daily contact and closeness, and our visits, feels too much of a wrench still, the deeper/stronger our bond grows the harder to walk Seeing him in 6 weeks. HOH, he has no reason to want to end it. As you've said many times, he's a loner, so the lifestyle suits him. If you're going to split up the final decision will probably have to be yours. If you don't actually enjoy spending time alone, then you're sacrificing an awful lot for very little return. If you're planning to stick with it, then I hope you get to see him again soon. 1
soccerrprp Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) Oh your kids will definitely ask! Are we talking wedding bells then or just offspring? You were definitely single at the time I'm thinking of! LT, I will be asking her before the summer is over. Actually, after the World Cup is over. Spent a week with her a few weeks ago and I brought her to a jeweler to "just" take a look at some rings. Edited April 1, 2014 by soccerrprp 2
TAV Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 He's not happy with his life but whether that also includes not happy with our situation he didn't say, I don't think he'd be happy being in an LDR forever, but whether he'd split up over the distance I've no idea. He's a loner but he's not ok with being a loner. He's depressed but that's not to say he'll do anything to try and change things for the better, he may not feel able to or have the confidence or willpower. His depression may just be a phase anyway, although he's been low for a few months, maybe he'll be ok soon. I sacrifice a lot, ie spending time alone rather than with my partner, but if we split then I sacrifice our daily contact and closeness, and our visits, feels too much of a wrench still, the deeper/stronger our bond grows the harder to walk Seeing him in 6 weeks. I'm sorry he does not feel ready to share his deep dark thoughts with you yet. How bad is the depression, HOH? Do you worry for him? I did for my bf at the time and probably still a month or so after. Getting help, taking meds and opening up to me and his sister seems to have helped him deal with things better. I say 'seems' because I know it's not a miracle cure. I understand what you mean about giving up on the contact, closeness and visits. It's pretty special when you seem to make that side of things work. Someone outside an LDR probably would not understand how hard that is in the first place. 1
TAV Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 LT, I will be asking her before the summer is over. Actually, after the World Cup is over. Spent a week with her a few weeks ago and I brought her to a jeweler to "just" take a look at some rings. So that's after Holland wins that World Cup right? That's pretty soon then! And it's called football not soccer, dear man. :laugh: Sorry could not resist. Back to the topic! 1
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