The OW can actually save a marriage...

[Lizzie60]

Of course... it really is all subjective when we are speaking in these kind of terms.

 

Being that the wife isn't privy to your activities then really you aren't saving the marriage.. you are giving him a platform to hurt his wife.

 

What is your definition of BOTH sides of their marriage ?

 

I'm afraid I don't understand your question...what do you mean

BOTH sides of their marriage ?

[mopar crazy]

Originally Posted by Lizzie60

I think a lot of guys get married because their gf wants the big 'fairy tale, long white dress' tralala... themselves, they don't give a hoot about the vows... I bet they do it because 'everybody do it' and it's a 'tradition' more than anything else. I'm sure a lot of guys, given the choice, would just 'shack up' with their gf and be happy without all the crap and the waste of money a big wedding is about and the vows and all that nonsense..

 

Not true in my case. My H wanted to big wedding, w/ tons of attendants. My parents offered to give us money for a down payment on a house rather than having a big wedding. H wanted the big wedding. I gave a ***** about the vows and I do believe my H did (until 11 years later that is).

 

My H was the one that brought up getting M, I never used the M word first, he did.

[Art_Critic]

Most men do just that... mislead their wife... because MOST men cheat... and most if not all, would if they were absolutely sure their wife would never find out.... just once...just one single time with an amazing sexy beautiful woman... come on.. admit it...admit it....LOL

 

I really don't think most Men cheat.. just most of the Men that you know or have come in contact with..

This is one of those subjective things again..

 

The Men in my life don't cheat on their wives..

 

and NO.. I wouldn't cheat on my wife ( if I had one).. or my GF .. even if I would never get caught..

 

I'm not a cheater and never will be..that has been tested and proven.

 

I'm sure I could've cheated on my wife without her finding out when we were having problems in our marriage.. but I didn't.. and would never have..

 

There are open marriages out there that work.. but it takes both parties to be open and honest about it.. and no lies..

[Lizzie60]

(until 11 years later that is).

 

So I suppose he broke his vows...

[Touche]

I think I would agree with this more than I disagree with it.. it holds some truth,

 

But.. they still do it...

 

What a huge character flaw that is for them to mislead someone and give someone the fairytale and then back out of their word WITHOUT telling their SO.

That kinda is my point.. we are somewhat on the same page with one big sticking point, I wouldn't want to be around someone who wasn't trustworthy..

 

I have always picked my friends and lovers by their trustworthiness and then I go from there..

I want to surround myself with only the best that I can find.. not from the bottom of the barrel

 

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you. EXACTLY. What man with an ounce of integrity would marry a woman just to mislead her the way Lizzie talks about.

 

Nope, sorry honey. It's very, very sad that you haven't met a REAL man. One with honor and integrity. There ARE men who don't cheat you know. Even my abusive ex was honorable that way. He had integrity that way. I can spot a cheater from a mile away. Never been with one. My H would laugh at you if you offered yourself up to him. (Besides, you're not his type!:lmao: He likes his women petite and classy!)

 

Anyway, Lizzie...you really need to find a better class of men. How about finding one who would have sex with you without paying you? What do you think? Wouldn't that make you feel better about yourself?

[Art_Critic]

I'm afraid I don't understand your question...what do you mean

BOTH sides of their marriage ?

 

In other words..

 

Your interpretation of how they both view their marriage and vows..

I think you only think or know about one side and make decision based on only his side..

 

You really don't know how the wife feels about her vows or his vows..

[Babybird]

The wife had one and she would pay a sitter to go screw around, buy expensive makeup and clothes too.

 

The premise is not about 100% depleting the family fortune on infidelity. But I'm not ruling that out either.

 

So if a guy spends $500 a year on an affair, there two ipods for his kids. Or a few fill ups at the gas station.

 

You say big deal or so what.

 

What about paying down the credit card most working stiffs have? Or getting tires on the car?

 

or shoot, as long as y'all like just wasting the cash, why not take the family out to ane expensive dinner instead of the OW?

 

So what if the MM/MW doesn't spend money on the OW/OM?

 

What if he doesn't take her out to dinner and she doesn't buy clothes or make-up?

 

What if she bought the skimpy lingerie and wore it for both of you?

 

I can see you point about even if its little things they add up for people that don't have a lot of money. In my situation he didn't spend money on me. He bought me a necklace for christmas with a gift certificate he got from work.

[Touche]

(until 11 years later that is).

 

So I suppose he broke his vows...

 

Well we just celebrated 12 years the other day and mine hasn't. Nope he hasn't. Yep, I'd know. There are actually classy men with scruples..ones you can never get. Imagine that? Hmmmm.....

[mopar crazy]

(until 11 years later that is).

 

So I suppose he broke his vows...

Yes, he did. He filed for a D claiming we were both unhappy, all we did was fight, and he started an A w/ a co-worker.

[Lizzie60]

I really don't think most Men cheat.. just most of the Men that you know or have come in contact with..

This is one of those subjective things again..

 

I happened to think that most men do cheat... my opinion, and not just my men... I'm talking about men I never had anything with. Co-workers, friends, when they talk about 'cheating' they say they don't (ha-hem) but would if given the chance... plus I'm sure some of them...if I would make a 'pass' they would jump on the occasion.

 

The Men in my life don't cheat on their wives..

 

Sorry Art, but you don't know that for sure... I once met a guy only once in a parking lot... after we talked over the phone... I thought he was a cop... the questionnaire was verrry long... he wanted to make sure if I even met him in a shopping mall I wouldn't even look at him... He was scared to sh*t that his wife, his family or even his friends would find out... He was a professional (lawyer I think)...he was 'looked up' by everyone around him... and he said that even his best friend would never EVER doubt he was thinking about cheating... He said in all his years with his wife he had a one night stand with a woman... he got scared and never saw her again... I didn't want to see him past that first meeting cause I thought he was too 'chicken' and he was constantly 'panicking' about it. I don't have the patience for that kind of guy.

 

So you can never say your friends are not cheaters... unless you're with them 24/7... no way.

[michelangelo]

So what if the MM/MW doesn't spend money on the OW/OM?

 

What if he doesn't take her out to dinner and she doesn't buy clothes or make-up?

 

What if she bought the skimpy lingerie and wore it for both of you?

 

I can see you point about even if its little things they add up for people that don't have a lot of money. In my situation he didn't spend money on me. He bought me a necklace for christmas with a gift certificate he got from work.

 

Instead of for his wife, or his mom, or his daughter, or a niece?

 

See what I mean?

[mopar crazy]

Well we just celebrated 12 years the other day and mine hasn't. Nope he hasn't. Yep, I'd know. There are actually classy men with scruples..ones you can never get. Imagine that? Hmmmm.....

 

Happy 12th Anniversary Touche! And yep, there is classy men out there that Lizzie will never get, no matter how hot she is.

[Tomcat33]

You know what I think about marriage... I think a lot of guys get married because their gf wants the big 'fairy tale, long white dress' tralala... themselves, they don't give a hoot about the vows... I bet they do it because 'everybody do it' and it's a 'tradition' more than anything else. I'm sure a lot of guys, given the choice, would just 'shack up' with their gf and be happy without all the crap and the waste of money a big wedding is about and the vows and all that nonsense...

 

I don't believe in monogamy...so when they say 'til death do us part' yeah right.. give me a freaken break... they say it because they 'have to' I'd say most of them don't even pay attention to the words...

 

 

LOL oh my god this soooo true!! I think a lot of guys are pressured into it one way or another! I know of a few guys who got married because they were now in their 40's they met the woman they wanted to settled down with and it felt natural to them! Otherwise for the most part all married couples I know the woman had to put the peddal on the metal! LOL

 

I read the following reasons in an article once on why when a guy is is supposedly more open to marriage:

 

1. when he feels his looks are leaving him and he doesn't have as much successful at singles bars or when he feels out of place at a singles bar he is more willing to settle down

 

2. when all of his friends are married off then he sees not point in staying single

 

and I can't remember the other reasons those two really stuck to me but oddly enough and totally predicatble not once did the article mention "need for the romantic fairytale, or even because they felt they wanted to be monogomous for the rest of their lives. GEES that's a surprise!!! LOL

Oh and it did say that if men marry within the first two years of courtship he is doing it out of love but if he marries in over years and above it could be he felt pressured into it...funny how men really don't see marriage the same way women do

So yeah I can see why some men take a more lax view towards vows.

[Lizzie60]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. EXACTLY. What man with an ounce of integrity would marry a woman just to mislead her the way Lizzie talks about.

 

Nope, sorry honey. It's very, very sad that you haven't met a REAL man. One with honor and integrity. There ARE men who don't cheat you know. Even my abusive ex was honorable that way. He had integrity that way. I can spot a cheater from a mile away. Never been with one. My H would laugh at you if you offered yourself up to him. (Besides, you're not his type!:lmao: He likes his women petite and classy!)

 

Anyway, Lizzie...you really need to find a better class of men. How about finding one who would have sex with you without paying you? What do you think? Wouldn't that make you feel better about yourself?

 

There ARE men who don't cheat you know.

 

They are very very few... maybe 1-2%...

 

I can spot a cheater from a mile away. Never been with one.

 

No you can't absolutely nobody can... sorry that's a load of BS, get real.

 

How about finding one who would have sex with you without paying you?

 

I have that too... the manager from work... he has no clue I'm seeing other guys.

[Touche]

I really don't think most Men cheat.. just most of the Men that you know or have come in contact with..

This is one of those subjective things again..

 

I happened to think that most men do cheat... my opinion, and not just my men... I'm talking about men I never had anything with. Co-workers, friends, when they talk about 'cheating' they say they don't (ha-hem) but would if given the chance... plus I'm sure some of them...if I would make a 'pass' they would jump on the occasion.

 

The Men in my life don't cheat on their wives..

 

Sorry Art, but you don't know that for sure... I once met a guy only once in a parking lot... after we talked over the phone... I thought he was a cop... the questionnaire was verrry long... he wanted to make sure if I even met him in a shopping mall I wouldn't even look at him... He was scared to sh*t that his wife, his family or even his friends would find out... He was a professional (lawyer I think)...he was 'looked up' by everyone around him... and he said that even his best friend would never EVER doubt he was thinking about cheating... He said in all his years with his wife he had a one night stand with a woman... he got scared and never saw her again... I didn't want to see him past that first meeting cause I thought he was too 'chicken' and he was constantly 'panicking' about it. I don't have the patience for that kind of guy.

 

So you can never say your friends are not cheaters... unless you're with them 24/7... no way.

 

 

Yep, too funny! I can and have always been able to reach my H anytime I wanted to at any time. He's proven himself to me over and over and over again over the last 12 years. You're so wrong about this.

 

It's really sad that you don't know that there are men who NEVER, ever cheat on their wives.

[mopar crazy]

Lizzie, most MM DO NOT cheat! My sis has been happily M for almost 15 years and has never cheated on her, he isn't that stupid. My brother has been M 25 years and never cheated. My other brother M 7 years, never cheated and my parents just celebrated their 50th and my dad never cheated. Not all MM are cheating @ssholes. And don't you even GO there that I don't know if the men in my family have had an A b/c I know they haven't. They are that stupid and love their W's VERY much!

[Lizzie60]

LOL oh my god this soooo true!! I think a lot of guys are pressured into it one way or another!

 

Yes it's true... My ex stepdaugther (the youngest) lived with her bf for about 15 years..they were almost high school lovers...very young... they had everything... she was a teacher, he was a hightech programmer (making lots $$)...she then got pregnant with her first child...stop working, stayed at home... then got a second child... they were very much in love... she always wanted the 'perfect' life, perfect house, perfect kids, then one thing was missing... a nice white wedding.

 

He thought that wasn't necessary since they were happy and they didn't need to waste over 15 K...but she insisted...she wanted the nice fairy tale white wedding with the kids..

 

They married in July after over 15 years together... then on New Year's Eve the same year, she noticed he looked unhappy..blablabla...she asked him what was wrong...and he just couldn't hide it anymore...He was in love with his personal trainer... who was also married but no kids...

 

He left her... they moved together... it's been over 2 years and a half, she found someone else...but is still extremely negative about the divorce...she never saw it coming... she was stunned and completely devastated...

[Lizzie60]

Lizzie, most MM DO NOT cheat! My sis has been happily M for almost 15 years and has never cheated on her, he isn't that stupid. My brother has been M 25 years and never cheated. My other brother M 7 years, never cheated and my parents just celebrated their 50th and my dad never cheated. Not all MM are cheating @ssholes. And don't you even GO there that I don't know if the men in my family have had an A b/c I know they haven't. They are that stupid and love their W's VERY much!

 

There is ABSOLUTELY no way you can be ABSOLUTELY sure they never ever cheated... I will NEVER buy that ... never...

 

I just posted about my ex stepdaughter's story... no body in the family ever ever doubt he was having an affair... nobody. His own parents have never spoken to him since.

[Touche]

LOL oh my god this soooo true!! I think a lot of guys are pressured into it one way or another!

 

Yes it's true... My ex stepdaugther (the youngest) lived with her bf for about 15 years..they were almost high school lovers...very young... they had everything... she was a teacher, he was a hightech programmer (making lots $$)...she then got pregnant with her first child...stop working, stayed at home... then got a second child... they were very much in love... she always wanted the 'perfect' life, perfect house, perfect kids, then one thing was missing... a nice white wedding.

 

He thought that wasn't necessary since they were happy and they didn't need to waste over 15 K...but she insisted...she wanted the nice fairy tale white wedding with the kids..

 

They married in July after over 15 years together... then on New Year's Eve the same year, she noticed he looked unhappy..blablabla...she asked him what was wrong...and he just couldn't hide it anymore...He was in love with his personal trainer... who was also married but no kids...

 

He left her... they moved together... it's been over 2 years and a half, she found someone else...but is still extremely negative about the divorce...she never saw it coming... she was stunned and completely devastated...

 

 

Oh yeah..this is just so TYPICAL! (Not in my world.)

[Lizzie60]

Yep, too funny! I can and have always been able to reach my H anytime I wanted to at any time. He's proven himself to me over and over and over again over the last 12 years. You're so wrong about this.

 

It's really sad that you don't know that there are men who NEVER, ever cheat on their wives.

 

well let me tell you something...

 

I am seeing a manager at work... we get together during the day... His wife calls him about 10 times a day... it's unbelievable... most of the time when we get together, she will call... he always picked the call... and they talk while he's in my bed... sorry but I'm not SO wrong about this...

 

I'm sure he's not the only one either... sometimes he turns his BB off but she will ask him why he didn't answer, and he will say he was in a meeting... there's always a way to get around... I don't buy the 'I-can-reach-him-on-his-cell-anytime'...sorry.

[mopar crazy]

There is ABSOLUTELY no way you can be ABSOLUTELY sure they never ever cheated... I will NEVER buy that ... never...

 

I just posted about my ex stepdaughter's story... no body in the family ever ever doubt he was having an affair... nobody. His own parents have never spoken to him since.

Believe what you want but I know differently.

[IpAncA]

Omg... I read enough to know I've read it all.

 

Someone please tell me they've had the married couple come up to them and thank them for the cheating and helping the marriage become peachy again.

[Lizzie60]

Omg... I read enough to know I've read it all.

 

Someone please tell me they've had the married couple come up to them and thank them for the cheating and helping the marriage become peachy again.

 

no .. not quite.

[Touche]

Happy 12th Anniversary Touche! And yep, there is classy men out there that Lizzie will never get, no matter how hot she is.

 

Thank you, you sweet dear. I hope all is going well with you.

 

Ha ha! Lizzie, you crack me up! Yep, when I call my H at the office he's lying in bed with a paid floozy! Crap, too funny! If you only knew a man like him you'd know how ridiculous a notion that really is. Please. He's quality. You've obviously never met a man with real class. It's sad. I cry for you.

[mopar crazy]

Thank you, you sweet dear. I hope all is going well with you.

 

Ha ha! Lizzie, you crack me up! Yep, when I call my H at the office he's lying in bed with a paid floozy! Crap, too funny! If you only knew a man like him you'd know how ridiculous a notion that really is. Please. He's quality. You've obviously never met a man with real class. It's sad. I cry for you.

 

You're welcome! Yep, all is going well, thanks!

 

Lizzie wouldn't know a classy man if he bit her on the @ss. The MM she is porking are far from being classy if they are cheating on their W's. I don't care how much money they have.