Bachelor Party Woes

[a4a]

There is a difference if my wife would go upto one of my friends and give them a lap dance then her getting one from some stripper who she doesn't know and it's in a strip club.

 

If she was a stripper before, then I knew what I was getting myself into and my intentions would not be for her to change for me. If I fell in love with her while she was stripping then it would be hypocritical of me to expect her to change or to conform to "my ways".

 

You are trying to strengthen your argument by taking things out of context.

 

Do you have a problem if she just dances with a stranger in a seductive manner? (clothing on)

[jmargel]

As in dancing at a club with another guy? I don't have a problem as long as the guy knows his boundaries.

 

I dance with my female friends in front of my wife at the club. My wife actually likes to watch me do stuff like that. It's all in harmless fun.

[Carbine]

So now I can understand where your views are coming from. Apparently he left you because he got tired of you putting the hammer down on him for too long. I mean, WTH is this comment you just made? You are going to go out of your way to make his life a hell, even if he's found someone that he wants to be with? Give it up already, you are sounding like a psycho. This is not healthy and I would highly suggest you see a counselor.

 

Well at least I'd be doing something rather than sitting back and passively accepting things. Do you think I'm going to be happy for him if he finds someone else?? Yeah right! I could be the person he would be happy with for the rest of his life but he won't give me a chance, even though I'm asking for help now.

 

You don't even have to go to a "strip" club to see people grinding on each other. It's not like those women are wearing anything less than what the average woman wears on the beach.

 

I've yet to go to the beach and see a bunch of bikini-clad women parade around sticking dildos into each other and doing other choice things.

 

You must have some pretty interesting beaches near where you live...

[MrsHellFire]

Men fantasize about women on TV! There are Victoria Secret models walking around naked on TV! Is your H suppose to switch the channel when he sees that?

 

Besides, you might can't dance as good as the strippers! It's entertainment! It's entertaining to some people to watch people dance- ballet or provocatively. That doesn't qualify you as a loser. It's your personal interests!

 

It's not cheating to me. Cheating is sex, emotional, and kissing. Watching someone dance is a part of life. Have you ever watched black cheerleader squads? And I agree entirely with J.

 

I can understand that your H has no respect for you, if you tell him you don't want him to go to a strip club and he goes anyway.

 

But, alot of business deals are made in strip clubs. You don't even have to go to a "strip" club to see people grinding on each other. It's not like those women are wearing anything less than what the average woman wears on the beach.

 

And why am I talking about strip clubs? This is a bacherlor party thread! This guy might just want to have a guy's night out and party with his buddies! I don't see how that constitutes cheating.

 

 

I was trying to get the point across that a lap dance IS sexual in nature (as appose to non-sexual as someone was trying to say), so your comparison is not relevant since I know everyone fantasizes and don't have too much of a problem with that. But it's one thing to watch something on tv and quite another to have one in live form gyrating on your lap. I think it's disrespectful.

And the rest doesn't apply to me.

[Salicious Crumb]

If it was my man getting tortured on stage I would be leaving his sorry cheating butt so fast. There is no way it is not cheating to me to have a bunch of women touching my man.

 

I completely agree!!!

[MrsHellFire]

Is it wrong to be upset when the object of fantasy is just a breast-length away if not closer?

[jmargel]

I've yet to go to the beach and see a bunch of bikini-clad women parade around sticking dildos into each other and doing other choice things

 

You have the wrong idea of a strip club. They do NOT do that there. Your imagination has run wild.

 

 

Well at least I'd be doing something rather than sitting back and passively accepting things. Do you think I'm going to be happy for him if he finds someone else?? Yeah right! I could be the person he would be happy with for the rest of his life but he won't give me a chance, even though I'm asking for help now

 

If you love him, his happiness should be the most important thing, even if that means he would rather be with someone else. That is the true meaning of love. What you want (IMO) is selfish. He's not happy with you, that's why he has left you. Asking for help is great, and I hope you receive it. However don't go for help with the intention of getting him back. That's not how it works. You go for help, for yourself.

 

If he finds someone else and you try to make his life miserable, you'll just scare and push him away more. He's not an object to control, he's a person just like you.

 

I have had this happened to me before, and I tell you, it's scary. Being stalked and harassed makes you want to get away from the person even more. If he's going to want to be with you, you have to allow him the chance to miss you and come to you. However like I said before nothing is a guarantee.

[Guest]

My husband went to a BP 7 months ago and it has ruined our life......He received a lap dance and yes she was fully nude, she rubbed her breasts all over his chest and grinded his leg and penis.....it does depend on what state you live in and the laws of the SC. When he came home he lied, lied and lied more. Said he did not want to hurt my feelings. I am furious and do think of this as breaking our marriage vows.

 

He has never done this before and does not frequent SC, he says he is sorry all the time and has tried to make it up to me. He says it was wrong but had no idea what was going to happen when she got on his lap.....and when she started her thing he was taken back. (I'm sure) Anyway bottom line is be honest with him if it bothers you for him to go tell him, or if he goes advise him not to touch and to please respect your feelings.

 

Good luck and much happiness to you, as for me 1 day at a time.

[jmargel]

My husband went to a BP 7 months ago and it has ruined our life......He received a lap dance and yes she was fully nude, she rubbed her breasts all over his chest and grinded his leg and penis.....it does depend on what state you live in and the laws of the SC. When he came home he lied, lied and lied more. Said he did not want to hurt my feelings. I am furious and do think of this as breaking our marriage vows.

 

He has never done this before and does not frequent SC, he says he is sorry all the time and has tried to make it up to me. He says it was wrong but had no idea what was going to happen when she got on his lap.....and when she started her thing he was taken back. (I'm sure) Anyway bottom line is be honest with him if it bothers you for him to go tell him, or if he goes advise him not to touch and to please respect your feelings.

 

Good luck and much happiness to you, as for me 1 day at a time.

 

Then I hope for his sake that you divorce him. No one should have to face the penalty he has just because he was having a little harmless fun. He did not cheat and this has not been a re-occuring behavior.

 

However I guess since you are perfect that he will never match upto your standards. Let him find a woman with realistic expectations and someone who will love him for him.

[rainfall]

Then I hope for his sake that you divorce him. No one should have to face the penalty he has just because he was having a little harmless fun. He did not cheat and this has not been a re-occuring behavior.

 

However I guess since you are perfect that he will never match upto your standards. Let him find a woman with realistic expectations and someone who will love him for him.

 

Harmless fun? Please get over yourself. Not everyone views lap dances as that way. If she considers it cheating he did cheat. If she does not then great.

 

Everyone has different ideas of what is cheating. Some peopel are even OK with their SO sleeping with someone esle. So realistic is to expect our men to have some other chick rub all over him? No realistic is to expect my man to be faithful to me and not pay some chick money to touch him sexually.

[Rhyla]

There is a difference if my wife would go upto one of my friends and give them a lap dance then her getting one from some stripper who she doesn't know and it's in a strip club.

 

If she was a stripper before, then I knew what I was getting myself into and my intentions would not be for her to change for me. If I fell in love with her while she was stripping then it would be hypocritical of me to expect her to change or to conform to "my ways".

 

You are trying to strengthen your argument by taking things out of context.

 

Im not taking it out of context. you said it was ok because it was "non sexual". If it is "non sexual" than it should be ok the other way around. I'm poking holes in your argument, trying to show you that it IS sexual, you just dont like to think of it as such so you can justify getting them.

[Rhyla]

Then I hope for his sake that you divorce him. No one should have to face the penalty he has just because he was having a little harmless fun. He did not cheat and this has not been a re-occuring behavior.

 

However I guess since you are perfect that he will never match upto your standards. Let him find a woman with realistic expectations and someone who will love him for him.

 

 

I will never understand how having a NAKED STRANGER ONTOP OF YOU is not cheating. Just because you dont want it to be doesnt make it so. Just like a prostitue is still cheating even cause its a paid for service. You go ahead and say a prostitute is different because it's sex. But unless you're ok with your wife being ontop of someone naked, you're diluding yourself. It takes two to participate in an act, if that act is sexual then the significant other has every right to consider it cheating.

[CATENZA]

Then I hope for his sake that you divorce him. No one should have to face the penalty he has just because he was having a little harmless fun. He did not cheat and this has not been a re-occuring behavior.

 

However I guess since you are perfect that he will never match upto your standards. Let him find a woman with realistic expectations and someone who will love him for him.

 

WHO ARE YOU TO TELL A WIFE THAT WHAT A HUSBAND DID IS NOT CHEATING!!??!! IF SHE THINKS ITS CHEATING THEN IT IS AND HER HUSBAND NEEDS TO RESPECT THAT OR GET THE HELL OUT!

[Salicious Crumb]

Then I hope for his sake that you divorce him. No one should have to face the penalty he has just because he was having a little harmless fun.

 

If it was a little harmless fun, why did he lie? And sorry...having someone of the opposite sex rub their nude body all over you when you are married is not harmless fun. It is disrespectful to your spouse. And if he knew she wouldn't like it or was uncomfortable with it, he shouldn't have done it as a good husband would have respected her wishes...so it doesn't sound like he is a good husband.

 

He did not cheat and this has not been a re-occuring behavior.

 

If he enjoyed another woman rubbing her nude body all over him, was grinding on him and he got a hard-on...then yes...its cheating.

 

However I guess since you are perfect that he will never match upto your standards. Let him find a woman with realistic expectations and someone who will love him for him.

 

It is completely realistic to expect your spouse to respect you. Him getting off with another woman grinding on him shows his wife disrespect.

 

And if he loved his wife for who she was, he wouldn't have accepted a lapdance from a completely nude woman.

 

Let put it this way...if he loved his wife, and knew she didn't like a stripper all over her husband, why didn't he respect his wife's wishes?

 

So much for marriage vows.

[Mirror]

my husband is going to a friend's bachelor party...and i upset

 

 

Lily, have you discussed your take on the BP to your H? I believe he should respect that you feel insecure about his foray. But still, it's about trust in the relationship. You should not hold your H back from going out with friends becausse you are afraid he's going to cheat. Most affairs don't happen in BP with a random stripper. Has he given you any reason to feel nervous about the event?..or if I'm late..Did he go and what did he say happened? Why don't you attend the party with him if you are so nervous?

[CATENZA]

Lily, have you discussed your take on the BP to your H? I believe he should respect that you feel insecure about his foray. But still, it's about trust in the relationship. You should not hold your H back from going out with friends becausse you are afraid he's going to cheat. Most affairs don't happen in BP with a random stripper. Has he given you any reason to feel nervous about the event?..or if I'm late..Did he go and what did he say happened? Why don't you attend the party with him if you are so nervous?

 

You know, I allow my husband to go to strip clubs for Bachlor parties because thats what most of them do. When my husband comes home, I don't ask in details but he tells me he had a few lapdances and who he would buy dances for, like some of his friends. FINE!!

 

BUT... From giving him that little freedom sort of say, It made him think it was ok for him to go on a random day. Which he then Lied about when I caught him!! Read my thread for the saga...

[Mirror]

You know, I allow my husband to go to strip clubs for Bachlor parties because thats what most of them do. When my husband comes home, I don't ask in details but he tells me he had a few lapdances and who he would buy dances for, like some of his friends. FINE!!

 

BUT... From giving him that little freedom sort of say, It made him think it was ok for him to go on a random day. Which he then Lied about when I caught him!! Read my thread for the saga...

 

It almost sounds as if your H is a dog that you control entirely, "I allowed my H" "that's what most of them do" "from giving him that little freedom" "it made him think." It seems like you caused him to go on a random day. Does he not have personal freedom to do as he wants? Are there certain days he is allowed to go? You said "random day" like he can only go every Tuesday? I haven't read you saga thread but this thread is not for you.

 

 

 

It also seems that I have different views on cheating and also have been to different strip clubs than what many of these women/men describe so there is no need to argue that. It might change from state to state but I haven't seen one where they stick dildos inside each other?? It might be my own experience or exaggeration by some of the posters... Details they heard through gossiping and distorted for the wary listener. Because most of the aforementioned posters have not admitted to primary viewing of strip clubs more than what they heard through the grapevine.

[amerikajin]

I go to strip clubs because it's a great place to do business. I mean, I just listen to the music and enjoy the drinks - what's the big deal?

[CATENZA]

It almost sounds as if your H is a dog that you control entirely, "I allowed my H" "that's what most of them do" "from giving him that little freedom" "it made him think." It seems like you caused him to go on a random day. Does he not have personal freedom to do as he wants? Are there certain days he is allowed to go? You said "random day" like he can only go every Tuesday? I haven't read you saga thread but this thread is not for you.

 

Absolutely not, my husband goes out for drinks with his buddies once or twice a week I didn't care... Just tell me where u are going and be home at a reasonable time. I always wait up for him cause 1. I can't fall asleep without him home in my house by myself and 2. He pounds down drinks so I want to make sure he gets home safe and sound.

 

What it really comes down to is respect.. If your SO doesn't approve of you going then they should respect that. Everyone has different views and you can 't change that.

 

As for the OP she should tell her man how she feels and maybe they can come to an agreement. When my husband goes to Bachlor parties I don't hold him back from SC's. My mistake was that I didn't let him know that I wouldn't appriciate him going on a random night meaning no bachlor party.

[Carbine]

You have the wrong idea of a strip club. They do NOT do that there. Your imagination has run wild.

 

Ok, so what do they do then? Sit in the corner at bat their eyelids occasionally at men who walk past? Anyway, even at the beach, it's hardly commonplace for a slut in a bikini to saunter up to a married/attached man and behave/talk in a way that blatantly says "cheat on your SO with me". If some girl at the beach even glanced sideways at my ex, I'd have knocked the little whore so far into the ocean that she'd probably surface in China.

 

If you love him, his happiness should be the most important thing, even if that means he would rather be with someone else. That is the true meaning of love. What you want (IMO) is selfish. He's not happy with you, that's why he has left you. Asking for help is great, and I hope you receive it. However don't go for help with the intention of getting him back. That's not how it works. You go for help, for yourself.

 

If he finds someone else and you try to make his life miserable, you'll just scare and push him away more. He's not an object to control, he's a person just like you.

 

I have had this happened to me before, and I tell you, it's scary. Being stalked and harassed makes you want to get away from the person even more. If he's going to want to be with you, you have to allow him the chance to miss you and come to you. However like I said before nothing is a guarantee.

 

If i love him then I'll make sure that I make him happy. Besides, I said I loved him, not that I care about his wellbeing more than my own. I will always put myself first, and the only way I can get help is to get him back. Another girl doesn't deserve him. Some dumb blonde whore with a good body, no brains and plenty of concern about doing the 'right thing' to make herself look good does not deserve him. I don't deserve having stories told about me to her, when they're in bed together at night. I'm not having some cheap little slut think about me "sucked in you fat bitch. I got your man because I'm better looking than you. You lose, I win".

 

I realise the mistakes I've made in the past with him. I will always, ALWAYS detest strippers, bachelor parties, and other women. But to get him back I'll do anything - instead of taking my jealousy and rage out on him, I'll channel it into exercising and starving myself till I'm thin, bleaching my hair blonde, learning how to strip/lapdance etc etc. Because, at the end of the day, he'll end up with someone who's not only beautiful but who also has the brains, personality and love for him that he deserves.

 

He might miss me, but he'd never admit it to me or to himself because he knows he also misses sex with a girl who has a nice body. So, he'll stay away from me until he gets the first opportunity to sleep with some whore who's good looking and convince himself that he's in love with her. He'll convince himself that they're in love, they'll get married, and I'll be forgotten. I cant let him do that to either of us.

[americat]

Ok, so what do they do then? Sit in the corner at bat their eyelids occasionally at men who walk past? Anyway, even at the beach, it's hardly commonplace for a slut in a bikini to saunter up to a married/attached man and behave/talk in a way that blatantly says "cheat on your SO with me". If some girl at the beach even glanced sideways at my ex, I'd have knocked the little whore so far into the ocean that she'd probably surface in China.

 

 

 

If i love him then I'll make sure that I make him happy. Besides, I said I loved him, not that I care about his wellbeing more than my own. I will always put myself first, and the only way I can get help is to get him back. Another girl doesn't deserve him. Some dumb blonde whore with a good body, no brains and plenty of concern about doing the 'right thing' to make herself look good does not deserve him. I don't deserve having stories told about me to her, when they're in bed together at night. I'm not having some cheap little slut think about me "sucked in you fat bitch. I got your man because I'm better looking than you. You lose, I win".

 

I realise the mistakes I've made in the past with him. I will always, ALWAYS detest strippers, bachelor parties, and other women. But to get him back I'll do anything - instead of taking my jealousy and rage out on him, I'll channel it into exercising and starving myself till I'm thin, bleaching my hair blonde, learning how to strip/lapdance etc etc. Because, at the end of the day, he'll end up with someone who's not only beautiful but who also has the brains, personality and love for him that he deserves.

 

He might miss me, but he'd never admit it to me or to himself because he knows he also misses sex with a girl who has a nice body. So, he'll stay away from me until he gets the first opportunity to sleep with some whore who's good looking and convince himself that he's in love with her. He'll convince himself that they're in love, they'll get married, and I'll be forgotten. I cant let him do that to either of us.

 

Your pain sounds fresh and you do not sound all that lucid to me.

You detest beautiful blonde women with nice bodies, yet want to change yourself into one? First of all: All this hatred against other women when the only problem here is really YOU and/or your husband/bf. Your husband/bf is the whore if he cheats and if you want to be with dirty scum that's worse than any woman out there that you detest so much, have at it. You are putting anger and energy in the wrong place. There can be 10 women coming onto your husband but he doesn't have to take the bait and put his shlong in another woman's softspot. I'm sorry if you feel your husband has no control over himself when a hot woman comes by because that is not the case. Sounds more like you are in competition with the ow and the husband is just a raw piece of meat being fought for by two ravage beasts.

[Salicious Crumb]

I go to strip clubs because it's a great place to do business. I mean, I just listen to the music and enjoy the drinks - what's the big deal?

 

The big deal is, if a wife/girlfriend is uncomfortable with it and you go anyway, then your just being an a$sshole(not speaking to you directly..in general)

[Carbine]

Your pain sounds fresh and you do not sound all that lucid to me.

You detest beautiful blonde women with nice bodies, yet want to change yourself into one? First of all: All this hatred against other women when the only problem here is really YOU and/or your husband/bf. Your husband/bf is the whore if he cheats and if you want to be with dirty scum that's worse than any woman out there that you detest so much, have at it. You are putting anger and energy in the wrong place. There can be 10 women coming onto your husband but he doesn't have to take the bait and put his shlong in another woman's softspot. I'm sorry if you feel your husband has no control over himself when a hot woman comes by because that is not the case. Sounds more like you are in competition with the ow and the husband is just a raw piece of meat being fought for by two ravage beasts.

 

I'm as lucid as i'll ever get, americat. Try and look for as many cracks and weaknesses in my sanity as you want - you'll be looking for a long time. Yes I detest beautiful blonde women with nice bodies BECAUSE they have been born with something that lets them have happier and more successful lives than me. I'm just expected to wait around and pick up the crumbs. It f**king destroys me inside to know that despite all the popular crap perpetuated by society about earning happiness and success by using one's brains and accepting oneself, all that matters in the end is having a small waistline and a nice ass.

 

I have tried to find self-worth and gain respect from others through my education, by being a decent person and by making the most of what ive been born with. But no matter how hard I try I'll never be valued as much as better looking girls. Next to a semi-literate skinny blonde stripper, I'm always going to be judged as just some fat unimportant brunette who's not even worth spitting on. And THAT is why I want to change myself, so that i'm good enough to win the same quality of life as strippers and hot girls. And when did I ever say that I wasn't in competition with the OW?

[americat]

I'm as lucid as i'll ever get, americat. Try and look for as many cracks and weaknesses in my sanity as you want - you'll be looking for a long time. Yes I detest beautiful blonde women with nice bodies BECAUSE they have been born with something that lets them have happier and more successful lives than me. I'm just expected to wait around and pick up the crumbs. It f**king destroys me inside to know that despite all the popular crap perpetuated by society about earning happiness and success by using one's brains and accepting oneself, all that matters in the end is having a small waistline and a nice ass.

 

I have tried to find self-worth and gain respect from others through my education, by being a decent person and by making the most of what ive been born with. But no matter how hard I try I'll never be valued as much as better looking girls. Next to a semi-literate skinny blonde stripper, I'm always going to be judged as just some fat unimportant brunette who's not even worth spitting on. And THAT is why I want to change myself, so that i'm good enough to win the same quality of life as strippers and hot girls. And when did I ever say that I wasn't in competition with the OW?

 

I'm sorry you feel that way about yourself. But is the guy you were talking about really worth all of this? Why is he worth fighting over when he's a cheating azz?

I guess if you are smart and make good money, one can always be able to pay for plastic surgery or a gym membership. I know many here will say that is shallow etc, but if it makes someone feel better about themself, they shouldn't have a problem with it.

Yeah, if one is gorgeous, she can land a rich man without much effort or brains. Oh well. Then she'll divorce and go onto the next one- one she actually likes.

[jmargel]

I haven't replied since Friday, I take the weekends off from here.

 

Harmless fun? Please get over yourself. Not everyone views lap dances as that way. If she considers it cheating he did cheat. If she does not then great.

 

Get over myself? Actually to me and my wife it is harmless fun. It sounds like there are alot of things that you two consider 'cheating' but by the norms out in society it's not. This is the fastest way to lose your SO, by accusing them of cheating all the time. Over the long run you will cause that behavior to happen. If your SO is being accused of it all the time, why not actually do the deed and get some enjoyment out of it? That, or he'll just leave you for someone who doesn't treat him like a piece of dirt.

 

Im not taking it out of context. you said it was ok because it was "non sexual". If it is "non sexual" than it should be ok the other way around. I'm poking holes in your argument, trying to show you that it IS sexual, you just dont like to think of it as such so you can justify getting them.

 

Wrong, because the environment and the expection is there to receive a lap dance for entertainment purposes only (which I mean for laughs and being social with your friends). It's a job, which the strippers do. If I did it or my wife did it to a friend then it's under a different context. There's the main difference, which is a big one.

 

 

I will never understand how having a NAKED STRANGER ONTOP OF YOU is not cheating. Just because you dont want it to be doesnt make it so.

 

Then same goes for you as well. The expectation or the result of a lap dance is to not have sex with them. There is no touching or kissing by the man. IMO if they start doing that, then yes it is cheating.

 

If it was a little harmless fun, why did he lie? And sorry...having someone of the opposite sex rub their nude body all over you when you are married is not harmless fun. It is disrespectful to your spouse. And if he knew she wouldn't like it or was uncomfortable with it, he shouldn't have done it as a good husband would have respected her wishes...so it doesn't sound like he is a good husband.

 

Lying is never ok, however neither is telling your husband or trying to convince him that he cheated just because he went to one. You have no idea the psychological damage that you do when you try to instill into someone they cheated. The emotional guilt that comes into play and the lack of love that surrounds the couple now can really damage the relationship. IMO trying to convince someone they cheated is far worse than what he has done.

 

Ok, so what do they do then? Sit in the corner at bat their eyelids occasionally at men who walk past? Anyway, even at the beach, it's hardly commonplace for a slut in a bikini to saunter up to a married/attached man and behave/talk in a way that blatantly says "cheat on your SO with me". If some girl at the beach even glanced sideways at my ex, I'd have knocked the little whore so far into the ocean that she'd probably surface in China.

 

In my experience they have one girl on the stage doing a series of 3 dances. People sit around this stage and will usually put $1 in the chick's g-string or just leave it on the stage. The other girls (when not on break) will either be walking around looking to give a 30 second lap dance, in which the guys have to keep their hands at their sides (they don't touch the girls). I never had a stripper ask me to 'cheat on my SO'. The only time a girl approached me was when I was single, and asked me to stay after they closed. However I didn't.

 

I talked to one of the girls there and we had about a 10 min. conversation. I asked her about her dancing. She told me she was a marketing rep. for AT&T and that she really doesn't need the money just likes to dance. She could be lying, but some girls just like to dance for the dancing. Not all the chicks are out there looking to screw men. If they wanted to, they could easily get that anywhere.

 

There is a big difference between prositution and stripping and no stripping does not lead to it either.

 

I realise the mistakes I've made in the past with him. I will always, ALWAYS detest strippers, bachelor parties, and other women. But to get him back I'll do anything - instead of taking my jealousy and rage out on him, I'll channel it into exercising and starving myself till I'm thin, bleaching my hair blonde, learning how to strip/lapdance etc etc. Because, at the end of the day, he'll end up with someone who's not only beautiful but who also has the brains, personality and love for him that he deserves.

 

He might miss me, but he'd never admit it to me or to himself because he knows he also misses sex with a girl who has a nice body. So, he'll stay away from me until he gets the first opportunity to sleep with some whore who's good looking and convince himself that he's in love with her. He'll convince himself that they're in love, they'll get married, and I'll be forgotten. I cant let him do that to either of us

 

So you'll just try to be one of these girls that he slept with? You are changing because of him? That's the wrong reason to do it, and you'll end up with alot of resentment in the end. Even if you had the perfect body before, he would still cheat. He didn't cheat because he was in a strip club, he cheated because of his immaturity and personality. Cheating is disrespecting and that's what he has done to you. You can't make a person want to be with you, no matter how much changing you have tried to do.

 

With your posting, you have really scared me. Sounds like you are obessed with getting him back. That is not healthy. Yes we know you love him, but if he doesn't want to be in the relationship then the best thing you can do is let him go. If you are going to do any changing it has to be for yourself. Not for anyone else.