Bachelor Party Woes

[Rhyla]

But by your definition I assume cheating can fall from a number of situations. What about getting a passionate hug from a female friend? What about a kiss on the cheek? What about if your SO complimented another girl? What about if your SO just had an admiring thought about another woman? Good chance in your dictionary this would be considered cheating.

 

All of those are NON-sexual BEHAVIORS. Having someone naked grinding on you IS a sexual behavior. That is the difference.

[jmargel]

What you don't seem to understand from at least the places I've been to, the lap dances are not all that sexual. Have you been to a strip club? Have you really experienced it for yourself?

 

The times I've went, I've seen quite a few couples in the club. Heck, even a female friend of mine went to a strip club with me. My wife didn't mind. However, nothing sexual went on. Like you she was curious on what it was all about since she "heard things". Well, she admitted to actually enjoying it by learning some new dance moves from the strippers.

 

Most of the strip clubs, the men cannot touch the women. If they do, they are thrown out. These lap dances, the men can't even put their hands on the women's hips. Alot of the time the women's ass is not even touching the guy, while it lasting an average about 15-20 seconds.

 

I think you have this thought in your head where the women are just running their hands up and down these men. That's furthest from the truth. I would imagine most of these women are probably lesibans as well.

[a4a]

What you don't seem to understand from at least the places I've been to, the lap dances are not all that sexual. Have you been to a strip club? Have you really experienced it for yourself?

 

The times I've went, I've seen quite a few couples in the club. Heck, even a female friend of mine went to a strip club with me. My wife didn't mind. However, nothing sexual went on. Like you she was curious on what it was all about since she "heard things". Well, she admitted to actually enjoying it by learning some new dance moves from the strippers.

 

Most of the strip clubs, the men cannot touch the women. If they do, they are thrown out. These lap dances, the men can't even put their hands on the women's hips. Alot of the time the women's ass is not even touching the guy, while it lasting an average about 15-20 seconds.

 

I think you have this thought in your head where the women are just running their hands up and down these men. That's furthest from the truth. I would imagine most of these women are probably lesibans as well.

 

JM those are your values.... I would not consider it cheating I would consider it to be highly inconsiderate and disrespectful if my H went to a strip club. Just as he would feel the same if I went and had a wang waved in my face.

 

I would not cheat, he would not cheat...... but people have different values and some truly do not believe it is in the best interest of a R to trot off to a club for fun....... some think perhaps golf is better.

 

There is no sense trying to convince people that strip clubs are some form of wholesome harmless fun.

 

I won't even hang out with people that frequent clubs. Not men, not women. Not that they are terrible but we don't share the same values.

 

Back in my younger years I was a bartender in an elite club, just filled in as the owner was a neighbor and offered me the temp job. So no I am not a prude. I am not religious. I do not have sexual hang ups. I do expect my spouse to weigh the worth of actions and choose the one that is in the best interest of our M, as I do. Going to strip clubs will more than likely cause more harm than it is worth in a R.

 

Actually the H cannot stand them..... says men are walking ATM's and only pathetic losers go to clubs.

 

I would never date a guy that desired to frequent such places, I would consider him low class. And don't flame me as this is just my opinion.

[jmargel]

Well then by your standards I guess i'm a loser. If that's not stereotyping someone, then I don't know what is.

 

If strip clubs are not for you, great! There's nothing wrong with that. However what I do have a problem with is someone stating that going to a strip club is 'cheating'. Which it is not. I could just as easily goto a dance club, pick up a chick and spend the night with her. The environment does not make a person's decisions, it's the person's maturity and personality that does.

 

What rainfall and rhyla are basically saying is that men do not have the mental capacity to say no to anything that is female and naked. If my wife is fine with me going now & then and it doesn't cause a problem in our marriage, then great. If it does then we talk and figure out why there is a problem and come up with a compromise, whatever that may be.

 

 

There is no sense trying to convince people that strip clubs are some form of wholesome harmless fun.

 

I'm not trying to convince anyone of that. What I am stating is my opinion that going to a strip club is not cheating, and that men actually do have intelligence. If we are going to cheat it wasn't because of going to some club. It's because of a number of other issues, just like with women.

[MrsHellFire]

What you don't seem to understand from at least the places I've been to, the lap dances are not all that sexual. Have you been to a strip club? Have you really experienced it for yourself?

 

 

Well then by your standards I guess i'm a loser. If that's not stereotyping someone, then I don't know what is.

 

If strip clubs are not for you, great! There's nothing wrong with that. However what I do have a problem with is someone stating that going to a strip club is 'cheating'. Which it is not. I could just as easily goto a dance club, pick up a chick and spend the night with her. The environment does not make a person's decisions, it's the person's maturity and personality that does.

 

What rainfall and rhyla are basically saying is that men do not have the mental capacity to say no to anything that is female and naked. If my wife is fine with me going now & then and it doesn't cause a problem in our marriage, then great. If it does then we talk and figure out why there is a problem and come up with a compromise, whatever that may be.

 

 

 

 

I'm not trying to convince anyone of that. What I am stating is my opinion that going to a strip club is not cheating, and that men actually do have intelligence. If we are going to cheat it wasn't because of going to some club. It's because of a number of other issues, just like with women.

 

What exactly do you get out of having a naked woman- other than your wife- grinding into you during lap dances? Why do you need that attention from another woman? I would be very cautious if my husband had the need to go to strip clubs frequently. It shows he's not getting enough satisfaction out of our marriage.

 

 

Do you like other women taunting and teasing you or something? You don't seem to have the "mental capacity" to say no to a lap dance offered by a naked woman.

 

What is the point if you are not looking to fantasize over another woman?- which is exactly what men go there for. How is that respectful to your partner?

If my husband was going with friends, I wouldn't mind too much. But going alone OR getting lap dances is beyond what I could handle.

[rainfall]

Well then by your standards I guess i'm a loser. If that's not stereotyping someone, then I don't know what is.

 

If strip clubs are not for you, great! There's nothing wrong with that. However what I do have a problem with is someone stating that going to a strip club is 'cheating'. Which it is not. I could just as easily goto a dance club, pick up a chick and spend the night with her. The environment does not make a person's decisions, it's the person's maturity and personality that does.

 

What rainfall and rhyla are basically saying is that men do not have the mental capacity to say no to anything that is female and naked. If my wife is fine with me going now & then and it doesn't cause a problem in our marriage, then great. If it does then we talk and figure out why there is a problem and come up with a compromise, whatever that may be.

 

Strip clubs in my opinon are cheating. If you have a problem with me saying that them really..... get over it. I hsve every right to think it is cheating if someone has sexual contact with someone other then there SO. Just like you have every right to think it is OK to have strangers grind naked into you. As long as our SO are ok with how we feel then it should be fine.

[rainfall]

What you don't seem to understand from at least the places I've been to, the lap dances are not all that sexual. Have you been to a strip club? Have you really experienced it for yourself?

 

The times I've went, I've seen quite a few couples in the club. Heck, even a female friend of mine went to a strip club with me. My wife didn't mind. However, nothing sexual went on. Like you she was curious on what it was all about since she "heard things". Well, she admitted to actually enjoying it by learning some new dance moves from the strippers.

 

Most of the strip clubs, the men cannot touch the women. If they do, they are thrown out. These lap dances, the men can't even put their hands on the women's hips. Alot of the time the women's ass is not even touching the guy, while it lasting an average about 15-20 seconds.

 

I think you have this thought in your head where the women are just running their hands up and down these men. That's furthest from the truth. I would imagine most of these women are probably lesibans as well.

So its not sexual to have a stranger on top of you naked. I went to one strip club once along time ago. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. The strippers were letting the men suck on their tits during lap dances. They were grabbing them between the legs.(this was supposed to be the "classiest" one in town as well"

 

The reason I went was my ex told me it was not fair for me to dislike them unless I actually went to one to see what went on. I have no desire to ever go inside on of those places again.

 

Yeah they probably all aren't that bad but still there is no reason at all for my man to be around any naked women but me who is trying to turn him on.

[tommyr]

Somehow this thread has gone way offtopic. The original post says nothing about being a regular at strip clubs, nor lapdances, not even strippers at all - only that her H is going to a bacherlor party. Calling her H a cheater is a bit premature!

 

Let's assume this guy never goes to strip clubs, but his close friend wants him to be at his BP. 40% of the BP's I went to involved no strippers. Is he a cheater for going to dinner, smoking a few cigars, and telling dirty jokes?

 

Now let's suppose this BP does visit a strip club but (like nearly every single married man at BPs which I have attended) he is a spectator only (no touching, no lapdances, etc). Is he now a cheater? He never goes to clubs, but is there now only for his friend's BP.

 

Now let's suppose the guy decides to get a lapdance at the club. A naked stranger is sitting on his lap. He is a cheater now? The stripper invites him out after her show for a blowjob followed by group sex with all her stripper friends. He is now a cheater?

 

Clearly there are several stages to this story, and at some point, each of us would decide NOW that husband is a cheating bastard! The line here is different for each. To me (and my wife agrees) if the guy NEVER goes to stripclubs but goes along as a spectator (no contact) on this special occasion, he is not a cheater. You are entitled to a different view. But my advice to the OP is to talk about this with her H, set the boundaries, and then TRUST him.

[Rhyla]

What you don't seem to understand from at least the places I've been to, the lap dances are not all that sexual. Have you been to a strip club? Have you really experienced it for yourself?

 

IF lap dances are non sexual, then you shouldn't mind your partner GIVING a lap dance to someone else, correct?

[Topper]

Rainfall, Now I know you are making up stories here. I single for a long time had my own business and would often treat my crew to a Friday Beer at a strip club. In all those visits never once did I see anyone who got a lap dance suck a woman breast. Never once did I see any guy even touching a woman. If they did try they would be out the door on their ass. The Bouncers are pretty big guys and they won't put up with any crap. The club owners and the Girls al know that under cover vice cops are always in those places. Why would any sane businessman risk losing his liquor licence and therefore your multi million dollar gold mine? By the way I also know that many upstanding business men and woman invest in these clubs your return on investment is usually very good.

Calif and Nevada both states have the most liberal sex laws in the country. Not once never have i seen what your talking about in a strip club.

When I was married my now ex know that I would go to a club every once in awhile. I would tell her I was treating the guys to some beers and what time to except me home. She was very secure with her self and trusted me. I was married 18 years and never once did I cheat on her. The truth is the biggest temptations would come when I was out with clients or others in a cocktail lunge for happy hour. It was not uncommon to have a woman show interest in me. If I had been the cheating kind it would have started in one of the better watering holes in town.

If the OP Has problem with her husband going to a bachelor party then then that's her problem. I have been to 5 or 6 bachelor in all those one got out of hand. It was in hospitality room at a hotel. When things started getting a little wild The married guys pretty much went to the Hotel bar. In fact the Groom was there in just a few mins. Don't let your imagination run amuck most are tamer then you think.

[rainfall]

I really don't care if you believe me. I know what happened and I don't need you to think I am telling the truth. I don't care how "tame" a lap dance is. In my opinon it is cheating. Whether it is they way I described or just her dry humping him. If there is no touching then how exactly is it a lap dance? You gotta touch someone to be in there lap.

 

Like I have said I trust my bf not to sleep with someone esle, try to pick up chicks at a bar, kiss someone, etc. However I feel that if someone os in a commited relationship why would they even feel the need to go to pne of those places? What are they possibly getting out of it?

 

To answer Tommyr I think it becomes cheating as soon as he is getting sexual contact from someone besides his SO. When he agrees to go to the strip club if he knows how much it will hurt his SO even if he doesn't get a lap dance he is just a jerk.

 

What exactly could be the reason for wanting to go to a strip club for a bachelor party anyway? The groom claims he loves his women and wants to spend forever with her and only her but he has to have "one last night of freedom and naked women."

[MrsHellFire]

Rainfall, Now I know you are making up stories here. I single for a long time had my own business and would often treat my crew to a Friday Beer at a strip club. In all those visits never once did I see anyone who got a lap dance suck a woman breast. Never once did I see any guy even touching a woman. If they did try they would be out the door on their ass. The Bouncers are pretty big guys and they won't put up with any crap. The club owners and the Girls al know that under cover vice cops are always in those places. Why would any sane businessman risk losing his liquor licence and therefore your multi million dollar gold mine? By the way I also know that many upstanding business men and woman invest in these clubs your return on investment is usually very good.

Calif and Nevada both states have the most liberal sex laws in the country. Not once never have i seen what your talking about in a strip club.

When I was married my now ex know that I would go to a club every once in awhile. I would tell her I was treating the guys to some beers and what time to except me home. She was very secure with her self and trusted me. I was married 18 years and never once did I cheat on her. The truth is the biggest temptations would come when I was out with clients or others in a cocktail lunge for happy hour. It was not uncommon to have a woman show interest in me. If I had been the cheating kind it would have started in one of the better watering holes in town.

If the OP Has problem with her husband going to a bachelor party then then that's her problem. I have been to 5 or 6 bachelor in all those one got out of hand. It was in hospitality room at a hotel. When things started getting a little wild The married guys pretty much went to the Hotel bar. In fact the Groom was there in just a few mins. Don't let your imagination run amuck most are tamer then you think.

 

 

I wonder too, but those two states are highly regulated and scrutinized. I can see where maybe someplace in the midwest, down south or something could get away with some of that stuff. There was some bad stuff going on a few years ago at a strip club in vegas and it just got shut down- don't recall what the problems were about though..

 

Hell there was even a bad bust in florida a couple years ago where there were strippers caught on cam having sex with several customers in a back room- I downloaded the footage after I saw the news report. So that kind of stuff can happen!

[Carbine]

There are alot of wild statements on here about bachelor parties - assumptions made by women without many firsthand facts

 

Oh come on! That's a bit rich I think. We all know about the rule "What happens on buck's night stays on buck's night". I'm sure theres a damn good reason for that rule as well. Perhaps a lot of guys wont cross the line at a buck's night which involves strippers, but obviously some will. And that is why the rule is in place. If buck's nights weren't so dependent on strippers/strip clubs then I doubt the rule would exist. I mean, if a guy went away with his mates on a fishing trip for his bucks weekend, do you reckon there would be a bunch of women making "wild statements"?? No way. Given all of the above, do you really expect women to react any other way?

 

It is pathetic and sad that this is still considered a traditon. No wonder so many marriages fail with this line of thinking.

 

It's pathetic and sad that men still use 'tradition' as an excuse. When was this bachelor party tradition started anyway? Back in the day when women didn't work, couldn't vote and had no rights? Times have changed. People like Woggle may kick up a fuss about the whole 'feminist' thing (if we must refer to it as that) having swung too far and for the most part i agree. But in this case, i think it's about damn time that we had a say in something that is obviously very screwed up.

 

Ever think the problem might lay with you? Going to a strip club is for entertainment purposes. Not to cheat. We could easily cheat behind our SO's back, or meet a chick at a bar, a dance-club, at the park, online, at the grocery store.. It doesn't matter where. We are not more tempted to cheat since we are at a strip club.

However what I do have a problem with is someone stating that going to a strip club is 'cheating'. Which it is not. I could just as easily goto a dance club, pick up a chick and spend the night with her.

 

Why can 'cheating' only occur if you have sex with someone?? The issue isn't about 'where' you may meet a chick. The issue is that strip clubs 'are' cheating. I for one do not need reassurance that my SO will not sleep with a girl he meets at a SC. Like most, I know that strippers see men as dollar signs and while I know that strippers aren't the most savoury of human beings, I also realise that they're unlikely to 'cross the line' with their customers. The problem is that, once my SO walks into the doors of a SC, he's cheating. That's where the issue ends. No ifs, buts or maybes. How the hell does going to a SC compare to going to a grocery store/dance club/bar/park/online?? If my SO is at the grocery store to do his weekly shopping and finds himself face to face with a hot checkout chick at the end of the queue, then it's not really his fault. It's not cheating, as long as he doesnt take it any further. If he goes back to that same store and stands in her line for the purpose of perving/interacting with her then it IS cheating. Same as online if he's checking his email or doing work stuff. Same as if he's down at the park walking his dog. None of these are SEXUAL ACTIVITIES for the purpose of SEXUAL AROUSAL. They all have an overriding purpose and until he turns them into something more sinister then it's not cheating. A strip club is simply not in the same category. Period.

[jmargel]

What exactly do you get out of having a naked woman- other than your wife- grinding into you during lap dances? Why do you need that attention from another woman? I would be very cautious if my husband had the need to go to strip clubs frequently. It shows he's not getting enough satisfaction out of our marriage.

 

 

Do you like other women taunting and teasing you or something? You don't seem to have the "mental capacity" to say no to a lap dance offered by a naked woman.

 

What is the point if you are not looking to fantasize over another woman?- which is exactly what men go there for. How is that respectful to your partner?

If my husband was going with friends, I wouldn't mind too much. But going alone OR getting lap dances is beyond what I could handle.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

There are two topics that I am replying about regarding strip clubs. Seems like this topic comes up once every month or so. I never posted in those threads because it becomes a 20 page verbal battle on what is right and wrong.

 

I don't live your life so whatever decisions you make is your own. I don't put you or anyone down or belittle you for your opinions. So, in regards to that I do NOT appreciate being labeled a cheater because I goto a SC every now and then.

 

As for your questions, I only go once every 6 months or so. I'm not a regular. I do not go and socialize with these girls in replace of my wife. In fact I find my wife more beautiful than alot of those girls.

 

What exactly do you get out of having a naked woman- other than your wife- grinding into you during lap dances? Why do you need that attention from another woman?

 

I don't *need* the attention from another woman. In fact I get more attention from women by just going to a bar, dance club than I do at a strip joint. The ratio of men to women at a SC is like 20:1 where at a club it's about even. Trust me, I've had women be pretty direct with me about what they wanted to do at a bar/club, whereas at a SC I had only one stripper come up to me asking me to stay after they closed (which I said no, even though I was single at the time).

 

I like to go because it's something different. I look at the women dancing more like an art than anything. I appreciate their ability to dance really good. It's not about the sexuality to me it's more about the sensuality. These women (at least the SC I visit) really do know how to dance. I also get enjoyment when there is a bachelor party there and they put the husband-to-be on stage and torture him. It's more of a comedy act than anything. I'm sure if you would see one of those guys up there you would be laughing as well.

 

I don't fantasize about the girls, I don't have contact with them outside the club. If I was going to try to start something with one of them, then yes that would be approaching the boundaries of cheating. Lap dances are not cheating, IMO. When my wife went with me she wanted to watch me get one, actually. I admire her alot in regards to stuff like that.

 

Why can 'cheating' only occur if you have sex with someone?? The issue isn't about 'where' you may meet a chick. The issue is that strip clubs 'are' cheating. I for one do not need reassurance that my SO will not sleep with a girl he meets at a SC. Like most, I know that strippers see men as dollar signs and while I know that strippers aren't the most savoury of human beings, I also realise that they're unlikely to 'cross the line' with their customers. The problem is that, once my SO walks into the doors of a SC, he's cheating. That's where the issue ends. No ifs, buts or maybes. How the hell does going to a SC compare to going to a grocery store/dance club/bar/park/online?? If my SO is at the grocery store to do his weekly shopping and finds himself face to face with a hot checkout chick at the end of the queue, then it's not really his fault. It's not cheating, as long as he doesnt take it any further. If he goes back to that same store and stands in her line for the purpose of perving/interacting with her then it IS cheating. Same as online if he's checking his email or doing work stuff. Same as if he's down at the park walking his dog. None of these are SEXUAL ACTIVITIES for the purpose of SEXUAL AROUSAL. They all have an overriding purpose and until he turns them into something more sinister then it's not cheating. A strip club is simply not in the same category. Period.

 

Wow.. honestly I couldn't have you as a girlfriend/wife. You are WAY too strict and if you are like this with him in other ways as well.. Well, be prepared to lose him to a woman that can actually show him trust and love. What you want is complete control over him.

 

I feel bad for him, because my ex was that way. She would have to watch me get my hair cut and I remember one time where the woman cutting my hair noticed her glaring at her. She got pissed and then whispered in my ear while starting to play with my neck "This will teach her, and I can guarantee that I am the only woman now that can do this and not get in trouble". Do you know how embrassing that is? Needless to say it was my ex who ended up cheating on me. Funny how the controlling ones are always the ones to cheat.

 

FYI: Walking into a strip club is NOT cheating. Going into the grocery store and wanting to pay your bill by the some checkout girl because you think she is cute is NOT cheating. Your man should be allowed to talk to anyone he wishes, female or male. He's allowed to look, to admire, to allow another make him feel good about himself (which doesnt involve sexual contact). He's allowed all these things because he's human and he has rights.

 

Continue to act like a dictator to him and you will lose him to a more secure, understanding woman. Guaranteed.

[typical]

Bottom line, if seeing naked (or nearly naked) women gyrating their bits in your face is worth losing your marriage, then go for it.

 

Men who are in loving COMMITTED relationships should not be seeing (nor should they WANT to, or be INTERESTED in) seeing what another person has going on underneath their clothes.

 

Obviously, the men are not going for alcohol, (they could go to a bar for that) they are not going for the music (they could go to a club for that). They are there for one reason and one reason only- To watch naked women gyrating. And that is what is disturbing for the women who are involved in a (what is supposed to be) loving, COMMITTED relationship.

[Carbine]

I also get enjoyment when there is a bachelor party there and they put the husband-to-be on stage and torture him. It's more of a comedy act than anything. I'm sure if you would see one of those guys up there you would be laughing as well.

 

Yes, I'd be splitting my sides, especially if it was my fiance up there on stage. Ha! Laughing all the way to the divorce lawyer's office more like it...

 

FYI: Walking into a strip club is NOT cheating. Going into the grocery store and wanting to pay your bill by the some checkout girl because you think she is cute is NOT cheating. Your man should be allowed to talk to anyone he wishes, female or male. He's allowed to look, to admire, to allow another make him feel good about himself (which doesnt involve sexual contact). He's allowed all these things because he's human and he has rights.

 

Continue to act like a dictator to him and you will lose him to a more secure, understanding woman. Guaranteed.

 

Whatever you want to believe. You sound like the sort of person who'll justify any type of behaviour on the grounds that it 'makes me feel good about myself'. As for your wife wanting to watch you get a lapdance, well what more can I say? You two appear to live by a very loose set of morals and convoluted notions of 'respect'. You may accuse me of being controlling but ffs, at least I'm attempting to exert some control over my life, in a situation where I have every right to exert control. I do not see how that's any worse than your type of relationship, where disrespect and infidelity are free to roam. Give me a break.

 

As for losing my bf, well it's already happened. He'd rather chose his little stripper s*uts and eye-candy w*ores over me. He had all the freedom he wanted in our relationship but when it came to one tiny thing that i asked him to change, he cracked it and ran for the hills. BTW he hasn't found that 'secure, understanding woman' as of yet. But if and when he does, there'll be trouble I can assure you. That'll be one relationship that's going to have a major spanner thrown in the works from my camp. Serve him right for what he did to me.

[a4a]

When the H gets home I am taking him to our local pub...... I plan on doing some dirty dancing with a few men..... do you think he should be ok with that???

 

 

I mean it is not cheating.... I will just rub on them a little. That should not really bother him should it? :lmao:

[Rhyla]

jmargel and anyone else who thinks lap dances are non-sexual

 

you never answered my question the first time, i'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't ignoring it because you couldn't answer it. If a lap dance is NON-sexual in your opinion, than you shouldn't mind your wife giving one to another person - correct? Or is this a double standard where it is ok for another woman to do this to you because it's non-sexual, but not ok for her because hypocratically it is sexual for her?

[jmargel]

But if and when he does, there'll be trouble I can assure you. That'll be one relationship that's going to have a major spanner thrown in the works from my camp. Serve him right for what he did to me.

 

So now I can understand where your views are coming from. Apparently he left you because he got tired of you putting the hammer down on him for too long. I mean, WTH is this comment you just made? You are going to go out of your way to make his life a hell, even if he's found someone that he wants to be with? Give it up already, you are sounding like a psycho. This is not healthy and I would highly suggest you see a counselor.

 

Whatever you want to believe. You sound like the sort of person who'll justify any type of behaviour on the grounds that it 'makes me feel good about myself'. As for your wife wanting to watch you get a lapdance, well what more can I say? You two appear to live by a very loose set of morals and convoluted notions of 'respect'.

 

Wrong. I don't condone cheating. Never had, never will. Please don't put words in my mouth. I won't try to defend something that I never said.

 

If a lap dance is NON-sexual in your opinion, than you shouldn't mind your wife giving one to another person - correct? Or is this a double standard where it is ok for another woman to do this to you because it's non-sexual, but not ok for her because hypocratically it is sexual for her?

 

If my wife was a stripper when I met her and we agreed that she was not going to stop dancing then I would not have a problem. As of now I don't have a problem if she were to get a lap-dance from some male stripper.

 

There is a difference between giving and receiving. Like I said if either of us were strippers while we met and agreed that it would be ok to stay working as strippers, I would be fine with it. However I wouldn't be fine with her giving one to another guy, just like I know she wouldn't be fine with me giving another chick a lap dance since we are not strippers. However she is free to get one, as I told her to goto one when her friends went. However she didn't want to go. And it has nothing to do with respect. She chose not to go because she thinks the men there are gross. She would rather watch a woman strip-tease.

[Mirror]

What exactly do you get out of having a naked woman- other than your wife- grinding into you during lap dances?

What is the point if you are not looking to fantasize over another woman?- which is exactly what men go there for. How is that respectful to your partner?

If my husband was going with friends, I wouldn't mind too much. But going alone OR getting lap dances is beyond what I could handle.

 

Men fantasize about women on TV! There are Victoria Secret models walking around naked on TV! Is your H suppose to switch the channel when he sees that?

 

Besides, you might can't dance as good as the strippers! It's entertainment! It's entertaining to some people to watch people dance- ballet or provocatively. That doesn't qualify you as a loser. It's your personal interests!

 

It's not cheating to me. Cheating is sex, emotional, and kissing. Watching someone dance is a part of life. Have you ever watched black cheerleader squads? And I agree entirely with J.

 

I can understand that your H has no respect for you, if you tell him you don't want him to go to a strip club and he goes anyway.

 

But, alot of business deals are made in strip clubs. You don't even have to go to a "strip" club to see people grinding on each other. It's not like those women are wearing anything less than what the average woman wears on the beach.

 

And why am I talking about strip clubs? This is a bacherlor party thread! This guy might just want to have a guy's night out and party with his buddies! I don't see how that constitutes cheating.

[Mirror]

jmargel and anyone else who thinks lap dances are non-sexual

 

you never answered my question the first time, i'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't ignoring it because you couldn't answer it. If a lap dance is NON-sexual in your opinion, than you shouldn't mind your wife giving one to another person - correct? Or is this a double standard where it is ok for another woman to do this to you because it's non-sexual, but not ok for her because hypocratically it is sexual for her?

 

I never said I would give a lap dance! I said it does not constitute cheating if I RECIEVED one! So then, if my W friends had a guy give her a lap dance, and they all giggled like they are prone to do, what's the harm in it? I probably would have laughed as well. I never asked for a lap dance; my friends would tell the stripper to do so so they could get a good laugh at how red I turned.

[rainfall]

If it was my man getting tortured on stage I would be leaving his sorry cheating butt so fast. There is no way it is not cheating to me to have a bunch of women touching my man. For anyone to expect me to think otherwise is stupid.

 

So how is "allowing" him to get a lap dance or go to a strip club showing love? Gee honey I love you so much please please please go get dry humped by the chick with fake plastic boobs and watch a bunch of naked women dance on stage. I know you won't sleep with them. You will only let them rub all over your crotch. Yeah.......... I doubt alot of women could have you as a boyfriend/husband, I could never be with someone who cared more about their need to see strippers then they did my feelings.

[Rhyla]

 

There is a difference between giving and receiving. Like I said if either of us were strippers while we met and agreed that it would be ok to stay working as strippers, I would be fine with it. However I wouldn't be fine with her giving one to another guy, just like I know she wouldn't be fine with me giving another chick a lap dance since we are not strippers. However she is free to get one, as I told her to goto one when her friends went. However she didn't want to go. And it has nothing to do with respect. She chose not to go because she thinks the men there are gross. She would rather watch a woman strip-tease.

 

If it is non-sexual as you say, then why is there a difference? Please explain. Why is it ok only if she was a stripper before you met? Why not if she decided she wanted to do it now? These seem like alot of stipulations on non-sexual behavior that is supposed to be ok.

[a4a]

 

There is a difference between giving and receiving. Like I said if either of us were strippers while we met and agreed that it would be ok to stay working as strippers, I would be fine with it. However I wouldn't be fine with her giving one to another guy, just like I know she wouldn't be fine with me giving another chick a lap dance since we are not strippers. However she is free to get one, as I told her to goto one when her friends went. However she didn't want to go. And it has nothing to do with respect. She chose not to go because she thinks the men there are gross. She would rather watch a woman strip-tease.

 

 

:rolleyes: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

[jmargel]

If it is non-sexual as you say, then why is there a difference? Please explain. Why is it ok only if she was a stripper before you met? Why not if she decided she wanted to do it now? These seem like alot of stipulations on non-sexual behavior that is supposed to be ok.

 

There is a difference if my wife would go upto one of my friends and give them a lap dance then her getting one from some stripper who she doesn't know and it's in a strip club.

 

If she was a stripper before, then I knew what I was getting myself into and my intentions would not be for her to change for me. If I fell in love with her while she was stripping then it would be hypocritical of me to expect her to change or to conform to "my ways".

 

You are trying to strengthen your argument by taking things out of context.