littlepiggy1 Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Hey Jersey; it feels like a never ending struggle..and for what???? as I keep saying, there is nothng more wonderful for a man to make a committment to the woman he loves and to let her know how special she is and keep his fantasies where they belong; in his mind--not on the computer or the tv... the continued sense of defense of porn over the caring and willingness to care and love their partner is just beyond my comprehension...(for those in R with women who have concerns with porn) just stop--what is up with that??why can't you stop? find happiness with your SO.... You are creating an ideal that doesn't generally exist outside of fiction. Ironic, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 No woman can compete with the 100 of porn images men voluntarily seek to pu into their minds. Women want to feel loved and beatiful espeically from their SO. And indirectly seeking out women who are perfect in terms of looks and what they are willing to do to please, can be harmful and hurtful to the real woman in your life who is never going to measure up to what men show they really want and desire. Why do you need to compete with fantasy of this nature? It's like saying that men should never look at any beautiful women while walking down the street because you've met all his needs. Do good-looking men never catch your eye? Don't try to blindfold your men. You are as beautiful as you believe yourself to be. You can't project your insecurities onto your man and expect that he will shoulder your issues. Link to post Share on other sites
pelagicsands Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Do good-looking men never catch your eye? But generally they have their pants on. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 But generally they have their pants on. Does it matter? People can desire another, even when the other is fully clothed. Since there's no interaction between the looker and the lookee in either situation, does it truly affect your relationship? Is your relationship so weak that someone with larger breasts in a fantasy or walking down the street, will supplant you? Link to post Share on other sites
rtHawk Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 You are creating an ideal that doesn't generally exist outside of fiction. Ironic, no? actually NO.. I have myself been with a man who did treat me like that and I know several men who feel just this much for their SO.... they have spoken honestly with me there are men who have posted as such here on LS. No, it is not ficton.. it can and does exist. it is actually OK for people to do so; it doesn't have to equate with loss of masculinity...it could actually be the most wonderful and intimate experience. Link to post Share on other sites
rtHawk Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Why do you need to compete with fantasy of this nature? It's like saying that men should never look at any beautiful women while walking down the street because you've met all his needs. Do good-looking men never catch your eye? Don't try to blindfold your men. You are as beautiful as you believe yourself to be. You can't project your insecurities onto your man and expect that he will shoulder your issues.[/quote looking at a beautful woman walking down the street and watchig a porn that you beocme aroused by and masturbate to........how is that even close to an analogy??????? sure I have seen great looking guys even at a nude beach but I dont care... body, hair, penis, balls ---- nothing more. but my SO on the beach...... gets me hot just thinking about it!! no one is saying men should be blindfolded.... maybe saying they should consider their SO and have more regard for who they are and the R. it isn't just about beauty and it doensn't have to be about insecurities... it can be about a mutual appreciaton and committment to your SO. Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 actually NO.. I have myself been with a man who did treat me like that and I know several men who feel just this much for their SO.... they have spoken honestly with me there are men who have posted as such here on LS. No, it is not ficton.. it can and does exist. I didn't say it doesn't exist. But that it generally doesn't exist. IOW, it's the exception, not the rule. I wouldn't take what someone tells you at face value for one simple reason: people lie. People lie in particular to save face and avoid conflict. Of course men are going to say, "yes dear, I don't look at other women, watch porn or think about anyone but you". Duh! It's what we do. We tell women what they want to hear to maintain a civil relationship. Seriously, if people were truly honest with each other, most relationships probably wouldn't work. Heck, I've lost count of the number of women that have come here, complaining their SO's had looked at porn, said they would stop, then were caught lying about it. And especially given that porn is still considered taboo in parts of society, I wouldn't go by someone's direct word--especially not someone you know personally as they have all the more reason to lie to maintain an image. For example, this page has a typically porn survey. By far, most people use it and most use it to masturbate. And not surprisingly most of the respondents are men. Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 sure I have seen great looking guys even at a nude beach but I dont care... body, hair, penis, balls ---- nothing more. but my SO on the beach...... gets me hot just thinking about it!! There seems to be a difference between the way women and men view sexual attachment to someone. Most men don't exclusively think about their SO. Neither do most women, mind you. But I had posted a study earlier in which 98% (!) of men in relationship fantasized about someone else within the last two months whereas only 80% of women had done that. Therefore, of the number of people who didn't fantasize about others, women outnumbered men by a 10 to 1 ratio. Link to post Share on other sites
rtHawk Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 I didn't say it doesn't exist. But that it generally doesn't exist. IOW, it's the exception, not the rule. I wouldn't take what someone tells you at face value for one simple reason: people lie. People lie in particular to save face and avoid conflict. Of course men are going to say, "yes dear, I don't look at other women, watch porn or think about anyone but you". Duh! It's what we do. We tell women what they want to hear to maintain a civil relationship. Seriously, if people were truly honest with each other, most relationships probably wouldn't work. Heck, I've lost count of the number of women that have come here, complaining their SO's had looked at porn, said they would stop, then were caught lying about it. And especially given that porn is still considered taboo in parts of society, I wouldn't go by someone's direct word--especially not someone you know personally as they have all the more reason to lie to maintain an image. For example, this page has a typically porn survey. By far, most people use it and most use it to masturbate. And not surprisingly most of the respondents are men. truthfully, I do very much believe that there are men who do not use porn, maybe they fantasize but they don't use porn.... not lies or telling half truths... there have been and continue to be men who just don't feel the need or desire or whatever for a myriad of reasons. I have known a few and they are NOT dorks, but upstanding men, physicians, professionals, company managers who are very happy with the women in their lives and without porn. and yes, the survey points out that most men do and not just for masturbation but also; 2nd for "entertainment" that said, it is readily availabe and easily accessible so if the road has been built, it is going to get used my feelings, why bake bread when you can go get it at the local gas station??? porn taboo???? no more! it is everywhere you turn,,, they can't even keep it out of a family movie these days by making reference to it etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 looking at a beautful woman walking down the street and watchig a porn that you beocme aroused by and masturbate to........how is that even close to an analogy??????? sure I have seen great looking guys even at a nude beach but I dont care... body, hair, penis, balls ---- nothing more. but my SO on the beach...... gets me hot just thinking about it!! no one is saying men should be blindfolded.... maybe saying they should consider their SO and have more regard for who they are and the R. it isn't just about beauty and it doensn't have to be about insecurities... it can be about a mutual appreciaton and committment to your SO. Does your SO in a nice outfit make you think about getting him down to basics? Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 truthfully, I do very much believe that there are men who do not use porn, maybe they fantasize but they don't use porn.... Yes, there are men out there who do not use porn. I have never suggested there aren't. I'm just saying that you can trust what people say at face value, and especially if they are people you know personally. People will lie to give a better impression if they think that they will be negatively judged if they tell the truth. And porn is one of those things. porn taboo???? no more! it is everywhere you turn,,, they can't even keep it out of a family movie these days by making reference to it etc. Porn is still taboo in parts of society. Yes, it's everywhere. But it's like the dirty little secret some people don't want to admit to. Hell, when was the last time you had dinner conversation about "Cum Sluts #14"? It just doesn't happen. Now, a bunch of drunk guys at a bar, that's another story... Link to post Share on other sites
rtHawk Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 generally NOT nearly ever as much as when he walks around in his boxers or comes out of the shower and wraps himself up with a towel or when he hugs me from behind and touches my butt.... so you see, most of the time I am ready willing and able to get down to basics but put stoppers on when it is necessary:D and all becuase I love him and think he is hot, clothed or not ! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 generally NOT nearly ever as much as when he walks around in his boxers or comes out of the shower and wraps himself up with a towel or when he hugs me from behind and touches my butt.... so you see, most of the time I am ready willing and able to get down to basics but put stoppers on when it is necessary:D and all becuase I love him and think he is hot, clothed or not ! But...you still do... Best to put blindfolds on your guys then, so there's no chance of any possible interest ever happening... Link to post Share on other sites
rtHawk Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 But...you still do... Best to put blindfolds on your guys then, so there's no chance of any possible interest ever happening... "bingo-gotcha" your attempt to prove me wrong and you right really doesn't work (for me) maybe someone else... I am not seeking to be argumentatative or right/wrong but work thru how not just myself but MANY women have concerns with this... the OP for example. this is not about seeing attractive people in daily life.... this is about porn if you can't understand the diff than so be it.... offering/recieiving understanding or insight/perspective is generally more productive. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 Porn doesn't nag you to death Porn doesn't resent you for no reason at all Porn doesn't belittle and put you down Porn won't divorce you for no good reason no matter how you good you treat it Porn won't cheat on you and then try to say it is all your fault. Porn also doesn't care if you come down with a cold or get hit by a bus. Porn won't be there for you on a holiday Porn won't treat you to a home cooked meal Porn won't tell you what a wonderful man you are..assuming that you are one. The fact that you relate to porn as if it was an actual person is a little creepy And while another human person might belittle you, what do you think porn does to women every day? It's pretty damn belitting to women. What does it say about men who like seeing women treated so grossly? Men wouldn't want any real woman they care about in a porno for that exact reason. But when your woman sees you getting off on the disrespect of other women being treated like non-human service devices..yeah, it's gonna make her question a man's outlook on what he really thinks of women. Why do you need to compete with fantasy of this nature? It's like saying that men should never look at any beautiful women while walking down the street because you've met all his needs. Do good-looking men never catch your eye? Don't try to blindfold your men. Looking at an attractive person on a street is a far cry form physically seeking out other people to masturbate to. You can't project your insecurities onto your man and expect that he will shoulder your issues. Hey I know I got insecurities. Me and a billion other women in the world. Do you know what contribuates to that? The fact that even our own guy, the guy that's suppose to think we are special and beautiful, is seeking out an unreasltic standard of woman that no one can possibly be without extensive surgery and lighting. These women are but on a pedestal of beauty. Women have a great desire to be beautiful. But when women in magazines and such get that luxury from your own man, it starts sitting with you because you know you are never going to measure up. And the ideal fantasy is what men "really" want. So lets have women create a whole masturbating medium geared to perfect looking men with huge body parts, tall dark and handsome and makes tons of money.and lets make it a billion dollar business and lets see how men start feelign about their place in their woman's life. Link to post Share on other sites
cn283 Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 I didn't say it doesn't exist. But that it generally doesn't exist. IOW, it's the exception, not the rule. I wouldn't take what someone tells you at face value for one simple reason: people lie. People lie in particular to save face and avoid conflict. Of course men are going to say, "yes dear, I don't look at other women, watch porn or think about anyone but you". Duh! It's what we do. We tell women what they want to hear to maintain a civil relationship. Seriously, if people were truly honest with each other, most relationships probably wouldn't work. Heck, I've lost count of the number of women that have come here, complaining their SO's had looked at porn, said they would stop, then were caught lying about it. And especially given that porn is still considered taboo in parts of society, I wouldn't go by someone's direct word--especially not someone you know personally as they have all the more reason to lie to maintain an image. For example, this page has a typically porn survey. By far, most people use it and most use it to masturbate. And not surprisingly most of the respondents are men. Everything you said is completely and utterly true. What I don't get is lying. You are right about guys thinking it's easier to lie then tell the truth about things that come up, but it's always far worse when the GF finds out..and 90% of the time they do. Another thing I don't get is they hypocrisy in that statement. It's cool if a guy lies about how many people he's slept with, or who he thinks about when jacking off but if a woman did that most guys would be pissed. I don't understand when a girl is upset that her BF is masturbating to porn rather than sleeping with her she just has to deal with it, but if she were to do that guys would be rallying around each other saying "dump that bit*h". There's nothing wrong with masturbation, or porn, because as you have said sex is just sex for guys, and to be honest most well balanced women (most guys don't like to hear that though). Lying in a relationship on the other hand is something different, because if you were lied to can you honestly say you wouldn't be hurt, feel betrayed, and question the relationship? I know the majority of women aren't addressing this, its strictly about the porn for them, but this is my issue. I would rather you be 100% honest then give me some BS statement about saving my feelings, or avoiding a fight, because in the end it's a lot worse Link to post Share on other sites
Miksorx Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 Well Men get horny at certain times it could be form anything to get a boner from itching or even seeing a hot woman on tv and maybe hes scared to ask u or he dosent feel like having u he justs want to get t to go down or he is scared of a baby like u said u were going to have and he really is strung up there on a spider web O.o Link to post Share on other sites
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