D-day

[peaksandvalleys]

Of course everything did not go as planned but what can one expect in a chaotic situation I guess. I was informed the papers would probably be served today. So last night had to be the time for the presents to be delivered. Had a nice meal, some nice music playing. He talks about his plans for expanding the business and maybe going on vacation this year for the holidays instead of the traditional family gathering. I let him talk. I let him ask questions which I answered as vaguely as possible. We watched tv until I got the texts from my friends that they were where they needed to be.

 

I told him I had something for him and went to get a nicely gift wrapped box. The grin on his face was so big. He opened it and then begin to read. Needless to say he turned twelve shades of green. I had pictures on top followed by emails and text. Under that was the paperwork for selling the business and the house. I thought he was going to have a heart attack right there. Then the ultimate question that almost sent me over the edge....."WHY?"

 

The blind rage hit so hard I was shaking. How f*cking dare you ask me why? You POS. :mad::mad: Why? Go look in the mirror and you have your answer. I also told him that the divorce papers would be served very soon and to prepare for a new place to stay. He starts to apologize and say how sorry he was. That he just got caught up. Well I handed him the last surprise....that I had hired an investigator and I know absolutely EVERYTHING he has been trying to hide for years. That isn't getting caught up that is planning a life of lies.

 

My phone started ringing non stop from OW and her BS. I told BS I would met with him if he wanted to. If not I will no longer contact him. I suggested he see a lawyer ASAP and get a paternity test. He is in shock of course. She left messages on the answering service when I wouldn't answer her calls. She is screaming on some, crying on others and calling me every name in the book that I have ruined her life. Yeah well....I don't give a f*ck. She needs to be prepared for the audit of her accounts at her job.

 

My head is pounding and I am spent. I feel sick to my stomach but I feel like now they know what it is to spend years building something only to have someone kick your life from under you. I got to go talk to my kids and let them know what is going to happen.

 

I can't think of all the details of what happened at this minute. Kind of an emotional blur. But I sick of hearing his sobbing and whining. He needs to leave.

[jlola]

Peaks,

I know your heart is breaking right no and so sorry. Fortunately, it seems you have good friends who support you. Glad you did not back down with your plans. Sending you a cyber hug.

[velvette]

Well played.

 

Keep your friends and those whose love you can trust near you.

 

As the immediate drama subsides, you may find yourself adrift. You've probably pushed down some of your emotions in order to take the necessary actions to protect yourself from your H. Now you need a plan to see you through the rest.

 

BTW have you made some arrangement to protect the business from anything he might do. Don't be surprised if when you are not moved by his sobbing if he turns angry, vengeful or threatening.

 

Take care.

[drifter777]

You are entitled to your rage. You have made your decision regarding what path you want to take going forward and are sticking by it. I'm in awe of you and wish you all the strength you are going to need over the next few months. Whether you decide to stay with your current plan or do something different, as long as it's the action YOU want to take then you will be fine. It takes a while to accept and move on, emotionally, from such a deep betrayal so try to be patient with yourself.

[cozycottagelg]

I think you handled it very well given the circumstances.

 

I am confused about the auditing of her accounts at her job, that seems excessive, but I've never been in your shoes, so I can't say for sure how far I'd go.

[Arabella]

I've not posted about your situation before, but I've read all your posts about it.

 

All I can say is congratulations on regaining your dignity. If/when I get cheated on again, your actions will be my inspiration.

 

-A

[peaksandvalleys]

I think you handled it very well given the circumstances.

 

I am confused about the auditing of her accounts at her job, that seems excessive, but I've never been in your shoes, so I can't say for sure how far I'd go.

 

 

That is actually out of my hands. Things came out with investigation that have nothing to do with me and it will be handled by those it affects.

[peaksandvalleys]

Well played.

 

Keep your friends and those whose love you can trust near you.

 

As the immediate drama subsides, you may find yourself adrift. You've probably pushed down some of your emotions in order to take the necessary actions to protect yourself from your H. Now you need a plan to see you through the rest.

 

BTW have you made some arrangement to protect the business from anything he might do. Don't be surprised if when you are not moved by his sobbing if he turns angry, vengeful or threatening.

 

Take care.

 

Business will be sold along with the house unless he finds the funds to buy me out of both. I don't see that happening so my lawyer is going to look for a buyer.

[peaksandvalleys]

I have turned my cell off. They are losing it. It is so funny how no one wanted to tell me what they were doing behind my back before now both are trying to out do the other in talking to me. Have a meeting with her BS after lunch.

[velvette]

Business will be sold along with the house unless he finds the funds to buy me out of both. I don't see that happening so my lawyer is going to look for a buyer.

 

Right, I saw that, but was thinking more about damage he could do between now and a sale. Skimming funds, thwarting a sale, etc......

 

People who think they are losing everything can do reckless things.

 

BTW might want to talk to your lawyer or the PI/IT guy about saving phone messages from OW in case you need to get a restraining order to make her stop that crap.

[peaksandvalleys]

Make sure he can't take any money out of the business or personal account, and make sure he cannot sign for a loan for the business, or personal. He needs to be in lock down until the separation is legal. Even then, nothing under the business name - it will sell for less if there is a loan on the books.

 

 

He couldn't do any of that before. His credit is shot. I signed for the loans for the business. The lawyer has handled all those things. Whatever he decided to do he is going to find out that all doors are not just closed but blocked.

[peaksandvalleys]

Right, I saw that, but was thinking more about damage he could do between now and a sale. Skimming funds, thwarting a sale, etc......

 

People who think they are losing everything can do reckless things.

 

BTW might want to talk to your lawyer or the PI/IT guy about saving phone messages from OW in case you need to get a restraining order to make her stop that crap.

 

 

I did do that and got a permit to carry a weapon if I feel threatened.

[velvette]

I have turned my cell off. They are losing it. It is so funny how no one wanted to tell me what they were doing behind my back before now both are trying to out do the other in talking to me. Have a meeting with her BS after lunch.

 

 

Haha........sounds like you have covered everything and continue to do so as it unfolds or should I say as they unravel.

 

Don't be surprised if her BH reacts in ways you don't expect.......like defending her, trying to get you to back etc. He hasn't had as much time to digest all this as you have. And, shes probably spinning him like crazy.

[ladydesigner]

peaksandvalleys you inspire me. I cannot tell you enough, I wish I did things the way you did. It has exactly the impact needed.

 

Job well done! Now celebrate and have some wine with your girlfriends. Maybe have a spa day. Remember to eat and drink when you are really upset.

 

It's going to be a rollercoaster ride ahead, hold on!

[lace5262]

You are showing amazing strength and poise right now, when I'm sure you're filled with pain. As incredibly amused as I am at how you pulled this off, I cannot forget the immense pain you're living in.

 

You've handled this brilliantly - when the pain subsides and you're feeling better, you will really understand this. You're a very smart woman, P&V. You're going to be amazing without him holding you back.

 

I have nothing more to add than what's already been said, but I wanted to send you hugs and support. (((Peaks)))

[ladydesigner]

I feel like now they know what it is to spend years building something only to have someone kick your life from under you.

 

Exactly!!! I found shock treatment works the best too, why not, I had just had the shock of my life. I totally get this.

[whichwayisup]

She is screaming on some, crying on others and calling me every name in the book that I have ruined her life.

 

She's in total denial and in blame mode. Of course it's your fault her life is ruined.. (being sarcastic there).

 

Consquences are a bitch and now she has to face the fire. Tough shi.t she's a grown woman who made some pretty dumb choices, like your husband and now the truth is out there. They are both just pissed that they got caught and you had a plan. I'm sure they both wanted you to feel like crap and be passive and sad, play the victim. GOOD for you for standing up for yourself!

 

that expression, you play with the bull, you get the horns comes to mind right now.

[NotCamelot]

I have turned my cell off. They are losing it. It is so funny how no one wanted to tell me what they were doing behind my back before now both are trying to out do the other in talking to me. Have a meeting with her BS after lunch.

 

You are my new hero!!!! Good for you! I know that the worst is still yet to come. But for now ride the feeling of triumph.

 

The OW has a lot of nerve to even contact you. What a POS she is!

 

I LOVE how you have handled this.

[Owl]

I've posted on this site and a couple of other infidelity based one for many years...and I've never seen anything quite like this.

 

This truly is one of those "exception" stories.

 

I'll be curious to see how it plays out as it moves forward.

[jlola]

edge....." I feel sick to my stomach but I feel like now they know what it is to spend years building something only to have someone kick your life from under you.

 

I can't think of all the details of what happened at this minute. Kind of an emotional blur. But I sick of hearing his sobbing and whining. He needs to leave.

 

Cheaters want the BS and lay down and play nice. Why are you mad I backstabbed you ,disrespected you, used you,gaslighted you and manipulated you for years? Get over it! They expect no consequences and get angry when there are. Just mind boggling!

[ladydesigner]

They are both just pissed that they got caught and you had a plan. I'm sure they both wanted you to feel like crap and be passive and sad, play the victim. GOOD for you for standing up for yourself!

 

Oh absolutely because this is what I looked like. While I was falling apart after Dday and I fell into a Major MAJOR depression, they continued their A. When I found out I was in false R I tried to commit suicide, not because I was afraid to lose my WH but because the pain was intolerable. MOW still wants me to feel like crap. She told me the reason my WH is staying with me is because he is afraid I'll commit suicide. So not only did they want me to play the victim, but they mocked me about being a victim at the same time.

[HtotheN]

You are my hero! Major high fives to you! Words cannot express how happy I am for you.

[jlola]

Oh absolutely because this is what I looked like. While I was falling apart after Dday and I fell into a Major MAJOR depression, they continued their A. When I found out I was in false R I tried to commit suicide, not because I was afraid to lose my WH but because the pain was intolerable. MOW still wants me to feel like crap. She told me the reason my WH is staying with me is because he is afraid I'll commit suicide. So not only did they want me to play the victim, but they mocked me about being a victim at the same time.

 

So, so sorry LD,

 

It is insane and crazy. My middle sister and I were forced to spend the holidays with brother-in-law after my cheating sister made him drive 8 hours so she can spend the holidays at my middle sister's house.

 

Then proceeded to spend Christmas day with an ex-lover. We were all beside ourselves when she came home late that night after dinner and acting like all was well and pretending she was with friends.

 

We(her sisters) let her have it. To humiliate her husband that way and to have us witness this was too much. She blamed him for being such a jerk and a complainer and what was the big deal, she sees him everyday!

 

Cheaters just don't get how soul destroying they can be. My sister has been married 5 x and not one of her ex husbands has remarried. I am guessing they were too shell shocked and broken to ever want a relationship again after she got through with them.

 

I still trigger every Christmas thinking about this wonderful man who deserved none of this!

[peaksandvalleys]

Nothing sadder than two grown people sitting in a restaurant and crying like babies. He is so hurt. He didn't ask many questions, said the info he got was very detailed and he needed to face some things. I had the feeling that he suspected for some time but couldn't figure it out.

 

I explained what led to my actions. That I had been confused about my own marriage and even the thoughts of cheating myself because I needed something I thought I wasn't getting. I realize that I might not have said that in hindsight. It was just what came out at the time.

 

His phone was constantly buzzing. I know it was her or even my BS. I will turn my phone back on after I talk with my kids. For now I don't want to hear from him at all.

[BetrayedH]

You're a freakin' badass.