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Confessions of a bad boy friend...


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 18th June 2012, 12:40 AM   #46
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Stay away from any woman for a long time to determine your authentic self and to avoid drama.

If the drama continues - your issue is you.
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Old 19th June 2012, 10:02 AM   #47
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I've just read this whole thread and I don't think I can put into words what needs to be said to you.

You need to man the F up and get out of your gf's life. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and accept you F'd up by cheating but staying simply because you have a child is the worst thing you can do, to yourself, to her and to the baby. If you are always fighting, that child doesn't need to be in that sort of mess.

Go be with your ex, quit whining about it, be about it. This whole thing is pretty freakin' ridiculous.
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Old 21st August 2012, 10:53 AM   #48
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My life funkin' sucks...period
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Old 21st August 2012, 11:05 AM   #49
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OK...so what's your update?
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Old 21st August 2012, 11:22 AM   #50
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is anyone reading this??? anyway....

My son was born this month, healthy and happy. I can only thank god for that one, and i'm not even religous at all! lol It is the best and scariest feeling in the world all at the same time. It's even scarier to look at the child and wonder....is he really mine
Oh no no no. No.

You don't get to cheat on her, and then institute some sort of wishful thinking to make yourself feel better about screwing her over.

Unless you have some kind of proof she has cheated, you don't get to project your character onto her.
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Old 23rd August 2012, 10:34 AM   #51
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I'm am not projecting my "Character" on her at all...it's a fact...she has admitted to it already. No debate over that.

My update would be..I love the kid, he's great..haven't done the "test"..no need for that..he looks like me the poor bugger! lol..problem is I think I hate her...I dont wish bad upon her but I know that meeting her was the worst thing that has happened in along time. I'm not going to blame her for my cheating cause that was all me, but since I have met this woman, I have been in a downward spiral of depression.

It's constant war with her, she dosen't love me either..this I know.. she tells me every second day that she hates me or calls me down in some sort of way that only people that are close enough to you know it will hurt you inside.

We have both lost all our friends because of this...I have no family and no one to talk to or get advice about this, people dont like being around toxic realationships.

Fact is, I still love my ex, I'm not over her but I know that we will never get back together, I have faced that reality but it dosen't make it any easier to swallow thats for sure.

I dont know why I'm here to ramble about this? I guess it's the only place in the world I can talk about the issues I have going on.

Can I tell you guys a secret...I know I'm a loser for doing this...but I still call my ex's phone every month or two to see if she has changed her number...I never let it go past one ring...just feels good to know there is a small tiny little link let there. I wonder why she hasn't changed that as she has moved to a differnt province 14 hrs away.

The easy thing to do would be to say, it's a bad realationship. get out now while you still can..rebuild yourself and find someone that you haven't hurt and build a healthy "real" relationship that makes you happy..but then I'm the one who gets to live with out his son for the rest of my life. sure I'll visit and see him...but if you had to do it would it be that easy?
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Old 23rd August 2012, 10:58 AM   #52
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Originally Posted by sour_pikle View Post
I'm am not projecting my "Character" on her at all...it's a fact...she has admitted to it already. No debate over that.

My update would be..I love the kid, he's great..haven't done the "test"..no need for that..he looks like me the poor bugger! lol..problem is I think I hate her...I dont wish bad upon her but I know that meeting her was the worst thing that has happened in along time. I'm not going to blame her for my cheating cause that was all me, but since I have met this woman, I have been in a downward spiral of depression.

It's constant war with her, she dosen't love me either..this I know.. she tells me every second day that she hates me or calls me down in some sort of way that only people that are close enough to you know it will hurt you inside.

We have both lost all our friends because of this...I have no family and no one to talk to or get advice about this, people dont like being around toxic realationships.

Fact is, I still love my ex, I'm not over her but I know that we will never get back together, I have faced that reality but it dosen't make it any easier to swallow thats for sure.

I dont know why I'm here to ramble about this? I guess it's the only place in the world I can talk about the issues I have going on.

Can I tell you guys a secret...I know I'm a loser for doing this...but I still call my ex's phone every month or two to see if she has changed her number...I never let it go past one ring...just feels good to know there is a small tiny little link let there. I wonder why she hasn't changed that as she has moved to a differnt province 14 hrs away.

The easy thing to do would be to say, it's a bad realationship. get out now while you still can..rebuild yourself and find someone that you haven't hurt and build a healthy "real" relationship that makes you happy..but then I'm the one who gets to live with out his son for the rest of my life. sure I'll visit and see him...but if you had to do it would it be that easy?
My only thought after reading this is a simple one.

If you change nothing...nothing changes.

What are you DOING to change this situation?
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Old 23rd August 2012, 11:30 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by sour_pikle View Post
The easy thing to do would be to say, it's a bad realationship. get out now while you still can..rebuild yourself and find someone that you haven't hurt and build a healthy "real" relationship that makes you happy..but then I'm the one who gets to live with out his son for the rest of my life. sure I'll visit and see him...but if you had to do it would it be that easy?
Ac2ally, I was going 2 suggest you consider becoming a buddhist monk and moving 2 Tibet for a few years (e.g., The Razor's Edge (1984) - IMDb).

You're not ready for a relationship yet.

-ol' 2long
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Old 23rd August 2012, 12:28 PM   #54
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Sour Pike, you need to man up and leave. Go for shared custody of your child, pay child support. Do you still make alot of money? I hope so because you have a son to support. There is no good reason to stay in this completely unhealthy relationship. It will not be healthy for the baby either having the two of you fighting every night. Why should a little baby have to absorb that kind of negativity. Start looking for a place to live and start planning what your next steps will be for you and the baby. Once you move out and have a chance to relax a bit the dreams about your ex may cease.


About your ex......she has not forgotten you either. I think you both were somewhat saving face by acting so cheerful during your contact when probably both of your hearts were bleeding. Not that she would want you back after what you've put her through and now a BABY?! You have to let her go but you didn't have to pretend that things are great in your life when they weren't. You are not ready for her because at that point your pride was still more important than your love for her. Move on and move forward and I'm sure you will feel better. You now know that when you do meet another girl and fall in love you will never cheat on her. Right?
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Old 11th October 2012, 12:16 PM   #55
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I feel like stewie in an episode of family guy...he goes nuts arguing that he was singing on key...so much so that he ends up in a straight jacket...Brian being the level headed guy he is...goes to stewie and rings out the note in the correct key for him to hear loud and clear...in an instant he realizes he was wrong the whole time...that he was infact singing his note flat the whole time..his ear could just not pick it up with out a little help!
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Old 11th October 2012, 12:34 PM   #56
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Love the cartoon reference....what's your status? What have you changed in order to create change?
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Old 11th October 2012, 12:50 PM   #57
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I've changed...in a way that only time can change a person. Spending the last three years feeling sorry for myself has done nothing..it literally feels like a complete blur...one minute im in an aprtment going to college with my girl friend..the next morning i wake up with a completly different woman and a smiling baby...and for quite some time I was looking at things in the wrong light...She is gone and never coming back...she never was coming back..

I probabyly never really wanted her to come back or I never would have let her go. My son needs me and its time to stop the self pitty thing...i guess that what being an adult is. I'm hoping i've learned from my mistakes.
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Old 11th October 2012, 12:51 PM   #58
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Oh give me a break. And she had to put up with this while she was pregnant, and having a baby?

Why aren't you in IC yet?

Let me explain what happened: you cheated on your exgf because you were unsure you wanted to be with her. Not enough sexual experience too. You wanted to explore, see your options, but like any other coward man out there, why be a man and break up? Nooo, it's easier to cheat.

Now, the OW is good to you, makes it work, but that's not good enough for you. You get buyer remorse, and obsess over a woman that you were constantly fighting with and not wanting to see prior to cheating. You put that relationship on a pedestal and made it something it wasn't.

As a former OW, I'd suggest you break up with the mother of your child. You are a pos and you put her through enough.

Pay child support and get out, go be with your ex, and reality will hit you that she might not want you or this little magic make believe life you have in your head has no base in the past or in reality. I'm willing to hear a happy ending, but regardless put an end to the treatment to the mother of your child. You say you take responsibility forcheating, but you don't. You dumped it all on her, and make her life miserable.

Last edited by cutedragon; 11th October 2012 at 12:57 PM..
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Old 11th October 2012, 2:29 PM   #59
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Oh give me a break. And she had to put up with this while she was pregnant, and having a baby?

Why aren't you in IC yet?

Let me explain what happened: you cheated on your exgf because you were unsure you wanted to be with her. Not enough sexual experience too. You wanted to explore, see your options, but like any other coward man out there, why be a man and break up? Nooo, it's easier to cheat.

Now, the OW is good to you, makes it work, but that's not good enough for you. You get buyer remorse, and obsess over a woman that you were constantly fighting with and not wanting to see prior to cheating. You put that relationship on a pedestal and made it something it wasn't.

As a former OW, I'd suggest you break up with the mother of your child. You are a pos and you put her through enough.

Pay child support and get out, go be with your ex, and reality will hit you that she might not want you or this little magic make believe life you have in your head has no base in the past or in reality. I'm willing to hear a happy ending, but regardless put an end to the treatment to the mother of your child. You say you take responsibility forcheating, but you don't. You dumped it all on her, and make her life miserable.
WOW...man hater much???...I did what I did...I felt bad and stil do....I have made many efforts to make things better with the mother of my child and will continue to do so..for the betterment of our AND our sons life... . for some of us that is possible...im sorry things are so black & white for you....life is never what you wanted it to be...I made some poor judgement calls in my life..but they all seem to have made me a better person once I allowed myself to learn from them...lol...but I can argee with you..it was a pos move!
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Old 11th October 2012, 3:52 PM   #60
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Life is not always what you wanted it to be...there's a problem if "life is never what you wanted it to be".

Sorry for the tone, I realized after posting that I got a little bit too passionate...Just decide where you want to be, and give yourself to that. There's no point in living with the mother of your child, and dreaming of your ex. No woman deserves that, even if she was an OW. You need to be mentally where you are physically.
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